New Neighbors
by Xanrivash
Summary: The adventures of Axel and Demyx, before Roxas's arrival.
1. In which Demyx joins the Organization

"And you claim to be...how old?"

Edmy bit his lip nervously, wondering what the point of this thorough physical examination was. "F-fifteen. Uh, sir," he added as an afterthought.

The tall, icy-pale doctor performing the exam almost came close to smiling a bit for the first time. His voice was still as cold and clinical as ever. "Your body mass index is below the third percentile for your age, even accounting for your short stature..." _Well, maybe if I got more decent food on a regular basis, I'd be bigger,_ Edmy thought but didn't say. "Malnourished, it appears." The doctor snorted. "Perhaps Five can make a project out of knocking you into fighting shape." Edmy didn't like the sound of that, and it wasn't close to the first thing he'd heard today that he didn't like the sound of, but the Iceman didn't seem to care. "Other than that, you appear to be more-or-less healthy..." Only more-or-less? "...so you are hereby released, at least from my supervision. Your new uniform is in that chair."

Edmy looked at the folded pants, long coat, and boots in the chair - all of them looked much too big. "Um...where do I go from here? Sir?"

The Iceman shrugged impatiently - even the air around him seemed cold. "Back to your room, I presume. Unless Two has instructed you to go elsewhere after your examination."

Two? Was he supposed to call everyone by number? He knew he'd already been assigned Number Nine, but was he going to have to answer to that for the rest of his life? Well, the guy with the ponytail - the one who'd hauled him in off the streets - had told him to call him Xigbar; maybe the numbers thing was just a formality, because this guy looked like formality defined... "Um...where is my room?"

Iceman actually smiled, but it was as frigid and humorless as a funeral in Siberia. "Third right, second left, down the stairs, turn right, first right, on the left; your number will be on the door. Your room is right next to Eight's...much to your misfortune."

Well, numerically, that made sense, but something about the way he'd said it... "What's he like?"

"He arrived only two weeks ago. His element is fire. As for his personality..." Again, that icy, humorless smile. "No doubt you will be able to form your own conclusions after meeting him." The Iceman made for the door.

"Wait - what's your name? Uh, sir?"

The Iceman turned and glared at him, and Edmy wondered if he'd broken some taboo. "...Vexen. But I expect to be called Four." The door closed before Edmy really had time to process that information.

As he'd expected, the clothing was two sizes too big. He put it on anyway, because he didn't especially want the old clothes he'd been wearing when he got here back for anything but maybe rags. When he checked the mirror, he looked even smaller than he actually was, but that didn't especially bother him - he was more fascinated by his skin. He'd always thought he would look better with either dark hair or light skin, instead of having light hair and dark skin, and now, all of a sudden, his skin tone wasn't all that much darker than Vexen's, certainly much paler than it had been. He had to admit, he wasn't sure it was an improvement. He looked...well, less like himself. He sighed, shook his head, and tried to find his assigned room.

By then, he'd forgotten most of Vexen's directions, and had to keep going back to the examination room to reorient himself before trying again. It was almost an hour before he actually found his room. When he finally found it, he wanted to peel off his oversized boots and voluminous coat and flop on his bed and think about this crazy day and his new life, but first, he listened in at the door next to his for a few minutes - good. The room was apparently unoccupied. The mysterious, potentially dangerous Number Eight, whoever he was - Edmy prayed he wasn't the blue-haired man with glowing eyes - wasn't in. Edmy peeled off his too-large coat and boots and lay down - the bed was soft, not stiff like he'd expected, considering how sparse the rest of the room was. Well, maybe he'd be allowed to decorate. He'd intended to lie back and think about the crazy turn his life had just taken, how instead of freezing to death and going on to another life he'd come back to his own body minus his heart, how this Organization he'd suddenly found himself part of was made up of those who had lost their hearts in similar fashion, whether his yet-unseen neighbor was going to kill him as soon as he got back...but instead, he wound up falling asleep.

He fell off the bed when someone knocked on the door suddenly. "C-come in," he stammered, before realizing that was probably the last thing he wanted them to do.

The door opened to reveal an impossibly tall, rake-thin man whose fiery hair and tattooed face made him look very much like a demon. Vexen had said Eight's element was fire, hadn't he? Fire certainly seemed to fit this guy...he was probably a pyromaniac, emphasis on maniac...he'd probably be a terrible bully...Edmy was no kind of fighter, and he didn't even know what his element was yet...maybe, if he was really lucky, it would be something like water, but with his usual luck he'd come up with something really, really flammable..."I guess you're the new guy...my name's Axel, that's A-X-E-L, got it memorized? How about yourself?"

"Edmy..." He'd learned long ago never to trust friendly overtures, because no one was ever friendly to him unless they wanted to hurt him somehow. At least, from this guy, it was probably just beating and belittling...though he couldn't know for sure until later. Just beating and belittling? He was hoping for that? How pathetic could he get?

Axel shook his head, grinning recklessly. "Won't be for long. Eventually, they'll figure out a new name for you."

"...What?" Edmy felt incredibly stupid all of a sudden, even though he was pretty sure no one had mentioned this part to him earlier.

"They didn't tell you about that part? Jackasses...basically, it's just your old name, with the letters rearranged, and an X thrown in there somewhere." Axel leaned on the doorframe, apparently as relaxed and comfortable as if he was the master of the castle. "Do you know what your element is yet?" Edmy shook his head. "Ah...well, they'll make sure you figure that out soon enough...Are you just not talkative, or are you really shy?"

"...Both." Edmy didn't know what else to say. He wondered briefly - if he'd been born into better circumstances, where he wasn't on the low rung of the social latter all by himself, might he have been more talkative, more confident, a better person overall? Too late...

"Anyone show you around yet? I don't have anything better to do...well, I guess I do, I just don't want to..." Axel took five steps into the room, and Edmy panicked...and _something_ happened. He watched in subsequent horror as Axel wiped water out of his face. "Okay, please don't do that again."

Edmy wanted to hide under the bed, or sink into the floor. "I'm so sorry..." he squeaked.

Axel sighed heavily and muttered to himself; Edmy strained to hear what he was saying. "Do not bite the little kid's head off, he probably got beaten up by his father every day of his life or something, that's why he's scared to let anyone get close to him..."

"I'm not a little kid."

Axel stared at him in amazement, either because he'd actually spoken up without being prompted or because he couldn't believe Edmy wasn't as young as he looked. "You're how old? Eleven? Twelve?"

"Fifteen. And my father never beat me up. I didn't even know him." Edmy huddled into a ball, wondering what Axel was going to think of him now.

"You're...fifteen?!" Axel looked like he could barely believe his ears. "We've gotta get some food in you. Come on." Without giving Edmy a chance to protest, Axel grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. "First stop on the tour, the kitchen. Ever had sea salt ice cream?"

"...That's a flavor?!"

"I know, it sounds pretty nasty, but it's really good...I only tried it a couple weeks ago and I wouldn't eat anything else if I could..." As Axel led him away, Edmy started to wonder if maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

AN: I felt like doing something more lighthearted. After kicking around a few ideas, this is what I decided on.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	2. In which Axel puts his foot in it

Axel didn't know which was more disturbing, the thought of a kid this small getting his heart torn out or the thought of a kid this old still being this small. Had he been really sick before losing his heart? No, he looked more-or-less healthy, just small and skinny...but he ate his ice cream like he wasn't sure when he'd be able to eat again. Maybe he'd been starving, or at least perpetually underfed. To Axel, who was always hungry, that seemed like a horrible way to live.

Or maybe the kid was just a midget.

"So...uh...what world are you from?" He was still trying to wrap his head around the idea of there being more than one world - though obviously there had to be, because wherever the "Castle that Never Was" was located, it sure as hell wasn't Earth.

Edmy looked helpless - it seemed to be his usual demeanor. "...Um...Earth...I guess..."

"Really? Same here...that's awesome..." Judging from the faint accent he still had, he probably wasn't from the same part of Earth, but hey, considering how many other worlds were out there, just being from the same one was pretty impressive. "Yeah, there are a whole bunch of other worlds out there," Axel offered - the odds of Edmy working up the nerve to actually ask seemed pretty slim. "Or so they tell me. I've only been here a couple weeks."

"Oh," was all Edmy said. He was gnawing on his ice cream stick like he was determined to extract all the food value he could out of it.

"Are you hungry? You want another one of those?" So far, Axel had managed to squeeze three sentences at once out of him, and that had been pretty unusual, it seemed - mostly it was a few words at a time, or monosyllables. Maybe he'd open up a little with more food in his system. The poor kid was obviously scared witless - it seemed he hadn't gotten the memo that you weren't supposed to feel without a heart - and Axel felt obligated to protect him, like an older brother. Wait, what? This "no emotions" business was going to take some getting used to. Edmy just nodded, and Axel went and got more ice cream out of the freezer - for himself too. "You really like that stuff, don't you?"

"I'm hungry," Edmy murmured. He ate this one as quickly and as neatly as the other, then started gnawing on the stick.

Axel had always considered himself a fast eater, especially when it came to ice cream, but Edmy was down to the bare stick almost before his stick was even revealed. "Wow, did your parents ever feed you?" Almost as soon as he said it, he wanted to put the newly-exposed stick through his eyeball - Edmy had already told him he'd never known his father; maybe he'd just come from a really poor family who couldn't afford to feed him too well.

Edmy just shrugged. "Never really knew my parents."

Axel was briefly taken aback, but not for long - his own parents had been absolute bastards, not fit to raise children, and he often wondered how his life would have been different if he'd been raised by a decent family. Maybe Edmy's parents had been so terrible he'd been taken away from them as a baby. "Well, then, whoever was supposed to be feeding you didn't do too good a job."

Edmy gave him an indecipherable look. "...That would have been me."

"..." Axel wanted to slap himself. "...Someday, I promise, I will be able to carry on an entire conversation without putting my foot in my mouth even once. Someday." _Who the hell left a kid like you alone to fend for himself?_ he wanted to ask but didn't - he'd already made his major faux pas for the conversation, and didn't feel the need to walk into another one. And, wonder of wonders, it had gotten a slight chuckle out of Edmy - quickly smothered with nervous glances, as if he was afraid Axel was going to hit him for it. _Wow, your life must have been shit if you're scared to laugh_, he thought. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna sock you for laughing at me." Edmy still looked at him doubtfully. "How'd you get to be on your own so young? Or would you rather not talk about it?"

Edmy shrugged. "After my grandmother died, I didn't have any family."

_You are not going out of your way to be easy to talk to, got it memorized?_ "How long ago was that?"

Another shrug. "Four years."

"Four years?!" Axel could hardly believe it. "How'd you take care of yourself for four years?!"

"I had to."

"How'd you even get any money?!" Add that to the long list of things Axel wanted to take back as soon as he said them. He'd heard stories of kids in Third World countries, or even in the inner cities of the United States, being forced to steal for a living, or sell drugs, or even sell their own bodies, because they needed the money that badly - or because their parents were forcing them into it to feed their drug habits. You didn't have to be his parent to be really cruel to a kid. Maybe his grandmother...No, not if she was dead by then.

Edmy's face actually lit up a little, which was about the last thing he'd expected. "Mostly playing sitar."

Ah. The life of a street musician didn't strike Axel as being an easy one, but it was a whole lot better than any of the other possibilities he'd come up with. It might even be considered a good life, if you had that sort of mentality. "Playing what?"

"Sitar." Apparently someone had told Edmy how to summon his weapon already; he reached into the air, a glowing bubble appeared and burst, and suddenly he was holding a, um, blue thing. With strings and tuning pegs. So that was a sitar - was he seriously going to use that as a weapon? Of course, that sounded pretty rich coming from someone who used spiky Frisbees, even if they were called chakrams. "Wanna hear it?"

Finally. Something that might break this kid out of his shell. "Sure, why not."

"Great." Doubtful pause. "Can we go back to my room first? I don't wanna sit on the kitchen floor."

Axel shrugged. "No reason why we can't, if you'd be more comfortable there."

"Great!" Edmy ran off ahead, somehow managing to carry that big instrument without tripping over it. Axel paced himself so as to stay about ten feet behind, which hopefully wouldn't register as a threat. By the time he got there, Edmy was sitting cross-legged on a pillow, adjusting the tuning pegs.

Axel sat down on the bed, since there weren't many other places to sit. There was a standard-issue desk, but no chair yet. "Is that thing hard to play?"

Edmy shrugged as he pulled a couple wire picks out of his pocket - had he brought them along, or did they come with the instrument? "I dunno. I've been playing it for a long time. It's the only thing I know how to play. I wanna learn how to play more instruments - like guitar and violin."

"So, you really like music, then?"

"Yeah." With his instrument tuned to his satisfaction, and the picks securely on his fingers, Edmy started to play with no further ceremony. Axel listened, at first just to be polite, then for his own enjoyment - this kid was _good_. Good, hell, he was brilliant. Axel had never heard anything like this instrument before, and he didn't want to stop listening.

"Who taught you how to play?" he asked after the song was over.

While he was playing, Edmy had been relaxed, smiling, too engrossed in his music to be afraid of anything, especially Axel. Now the mask snapped back into place, and his eyes took on that hunted-animal look. "My grandmother," he said warily.

"Well, she was a brilliant teacher. That was excellent."

Edmy stared at him like he couldn't believe his ears. Then, slowly, he smiled.

* * *

AN: Hey, I need to get _some_thing done.

Warning: Next chapter may be M-rated. Edmy had a really unpleasant life.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	3. In which Demyx has a bad dream

"Hey, rock star..."

He knew that voice. Didn't know the name that went with it, though; all the regular customers called him "rock star" because of his hairstyle and instrument case, and he never asked their names. The men who frequented the intersection of Carson Avenue and Deschats Street, an area popularly known as the "Boys' Club", were always looking for entertainment that would lead to not only a prompt divorce if their wives found out, but charges of statutory rape. Sometimes, when things were truly desperate, Edmy himself was one of the boys working around the "Club". Not today, though; today, he was just on his way back to the ramshackle one-room apartment he was calling "home" for now. He'd been doing pretty well lately, playing sitar on street corners and benches of more respectable parts of the city, and he wouldn't stoop to..._that_...just for a little extra money, even when the opportunity presented himself. Only when it was the only way to keep himself fed would he choke down the remains of his pride. He despised himself for ever resorting to it - a little more for every day he spent working that intersection - and when he didn't need the money desperately, it wasn't worth it.

"Hate to break it to you, but I'm not working here anymore." Every time he was forced into it, he promised himself it would be the last time, and he always stopped as soon as he was financially stable enough to give it up...at least until next time.

The man in the business suit - he was wearing a wedding ring; he must be "working late again; sorry, honey" - didn't give up and make a deal with one of the boys who actually was working. It was really too bad, because the rest of them must have needed the money; Edmy had never met a boy who worked there because he actually liked it. They were all there to try to keep themselves fed, or because Uncle Joe would beat them bloody if they didn't get the money to support his crack habit, or because Mom was too sick to work and this was the only way to pay for the pills she needed. "Bet you need all the money you can get, don't you? Or did you make so much money from your last CD and world tour to move to a Hollywood mansion?" God, the taunting grated. Like he needed to be reminded what a worthless piece of street trash he was - hell, every time he even heard of Carson and Deschats, he got a reminder.

"Seriously, man, piss off. Go bug someone else, like someone who's actually looking for customers. I'm not working here anymore." Edmy turned around and walked away.

Business Suit grabbed him by the neck and clamped a hand over his mouth. Edmy tried to pry him loose, free himself somehow, but no dice - living on the edge of hunger left him too weak to put up a fight against a grown man; he'd learned that time and again. "Fine, little rock star...if you won't accept money, let's do it for free..."

The newly-christened Demyx woke up screaming, drenched in a cold sweat. By the time he remembered he'd left not only Carson and Deschats, but everything about his old life far behind, he'd stopped screaming and was sobbing uncontrollably with fear and shame. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, its owner promptly got soaked. "Don't touch me!" he screamed.

"...Jesus Christ. That must have been a _hell_ of a nightmare." There was a sudden flare, and he found Axel standing next to his bed, in pajamas, wiping his dripping hair out of his eyes. "Do I even want to know?" Demyx shook his head, wishing he could sink into the floor. "You okay?"

The question took him by surprise. Almost no one besides his grandmother had ever expressed any concern for his welfare, and he'd just hosed the guy down with an incompatible element. "Um...yeah...I guess?"

"You guess? Is that a question?"

"No...I..."

"Your face is an absolute mess, just so you know." Axel tried to wipe his face with a corner of the sheet, but Demyx shied away - physical contact, especially from another man, was something to be avoided at all costs, even when it was supposed to be "safe". "Flinchy, aren't you? Your life must have been a real horror story."

"Yeah. It...kinda was."

"Well, if it's any consolation, which it probably isn't, mine sucked too." Instead of prying any further, or offering his own sad story to make Demyx feel obligated to open up, Axel sat down - on the floor, and not on the bed, which would have been too close for comfort. "You sure you're okay?" Demyx nodded, then shook his head. "If it helps, whoever made you scream like that can't get anywhere near you anymore. That make you feel better? Well, not feel, but -"

Demyx wrapped his arms around his knees. He remembered now; he wasn't supposed to feel emotions anymore...which always seemed so weird, when he thought about it...but, wait...what had jerked him awake screaming in a cold sweat? Wasn't it fear? If not, it sure as hell looked like it...and what had made him cry like that, if it wasn't shame about his old life? Was he just pretending to feel, because he was in the habit of feeling? The elder members of the Organization had been researching the heart for years, even before they lost theirs; surely they'd know what they were talking about...maybe? "Sorry I woke you up."

"Don't worry about it...I'd ruffle your hair in a reassuring manner or something, but I don't wanna get hosed down again." Axel looked up at him, eyes glinting in the light of the small fire he held in his hand. "It'll be all right. Seriously."

Demyx almost wished he could believe him unconditionally. "...Did you ever have nightmares about your past life?"

Axel nodded. "Still do, in fact. Don't think I ever screamed...then again, I wouldn't necessarily know." They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Axel spoke up again. "Think you're gonna be able to go back to sleep?" Demyx nodded. "All right. I'm going back to bed then. Good night."

"Wait..."

Axel turned around, though he was already halfway back to his own room. "What?"

"..." Now that he'd gotten Axel to stick around a few more seconds, Demyx had no idea why he'd spoken up. "...I don't feel well," he finally said.

"...You mean you feel sick?" Demyx nodded. "Nerves? Or really sick?"

"I dunno." Demyx buried himself under the covers again, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. "Probably just nerves, I guess."

"Can't blame you; it is your first night here...you want me to stick around until you fall asleep, or would having company make you even more nervous?"

_I have been sleeping on my own for four years. Why, now that I'm not supposed to be able to feel anything, am I suddenly getting lonely?_ "Go back to bed."

"All right..." Axel looked at him doubtfully. "I'm not gonna wake up in an hour and hear you puking your guts up in the bathroom, am I?"

"I don't feel that sick." Demyx hid his face under the blankets until he heard the door shut. Eventually, defying his own expectations, he went back to sleep.

"Edmy, what's the matter?" his grandmother asked, sitting down on the bed next to him.

Edmy sat up, rubbing his eyes anxiously - in this dream, he was only six years old. "I had a bad dream," he murmured.

"Oh, poor Edmy." His grandmother hugged him tightly. "Lucky for you, hugs make bad dreams go away..." Edmy couldn't help but smile - he felt better already.

* * *

AN: Aww. He got a hug from the afterlife. And he needed it. 

(looks around) Am I gonna get beat up yet? Or buried by an avalanche of "Poor Demy"s?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	4. In which Axel tries to talk to Demyx

Axel had no idea why he was so bound and determined to break Demyx out of his shell. Maybe it was because he was the only other person there anywhere close to his age. Maybe his pathetic appearance was just triggering all his "protective big brother" instincts that had been dormant for three years. Maybe he was already sick of being looked down on and really wanted someone to look _up _to him.

Maybe he was just a masochist with a thing for wasting energy trying to help hopeless causes.

Considering how ravenously he'd been eating the day before, Demyx was only picking at his food now. That confused the hell out of Axel; it wasn't like the food was bad or anything. Better than his mother's cooking, when she could actually be bothered to get her face out of her wineglass long enough to cook. "You feeling okay?" he asked; Demyx just shrugged. "Was your dream last night so creepy it killed your appetite this morning?"

"Why, yes, Axel, it was." A little flare of temper, and the shell solidified again. Demyx tuned him out completely and went back to taking the odd bite of pancake.

Axel sighed; his always-unreliable patience was starting to run out. "Is it so wrong for me to try to be a little friendly?"

"People like me don't have friends."

"Why is that?" _Because you're an angsty little sourpuss who doesn't seem to want any friends?_

"Because no one makes friends with freaks or street trash. They only pretend to be nice if they want to use them." Demyx stood up, scraped most of his breakfast into the garbage, and walked out.

Axel sighed heavily. _Well, that explains a lot._ After he was done with his own breakfast, and before Xigbar came by to collect him for training, he portaled up to Demyx's room. No matter how he knocked on the locked door, he didn't get an invitation inside or a suggestion to go to Hell. He was starting to suspect Demyx wasn't even in when he heard muffled sobbing. "Are you all right in there?" he asked. No response. "I know you're in there; don't try to pretend you're not."

"Go away."

"Are you all right in there?"

"Yes. G-go away."

"You are a bad liar, got it memorized?"

"I'm fine. Go _away_."

Axel shook his head and simply teleported into the room. Demyx, who'd been sitting in the floor with his knees up to his chest, hastily scrubbed at his face and pulled his hood up over his head. "That's not gonna work. I know you were crying."

Demyx refused to even look in his direction. "I told you to go away, asshole."

"And I want to talk to you."

"Why?"

Axel sat down on the floor, facing him, but out of arm's reach, which seemed to be about the bare limit of his tolerance. "Going back to what you said - about how no one is ever genuinely nice to freaks or street trash. As of right now, I don't get what makes you more of a freak than anyone else who doesn't have a heart, and no matter how bad your situation was before, you're not exactly living on the street right now. So no matter what you started out, or where, far as I can tell, that doesn't matter anymore. What's your next objection?"

Those sea-colored eyes glared at him from under the hood with an intensity that carried an all-too-short lifetime of hurt behind it. "Why are you trying so hard to be friends?"

"Because I wanna be friends; is that a good enough reason? I've spent the past two weeks as the outcast; almost all the rest of them were friends or at least co-workers before, and Saix has been here so long he might as well be one of them. And then I come in, and I'm over here feeling like the awkward teenager in the corporate office, looked down on by all the important people, basically only noticed if they want someone to do some menial task." The opening of the hood was pointing elsewhere; Axel sensed he'd lost his audience. "Short form is, I don't exactly have a ton of friends here either."

"What makes you think I'd be a good friend?" Demyx's voice was totally flat now.

"Hope, mostly." Axel shook his head - that shell seemed to have grown overnight. "Look, I'm not gonna beat you up or treat you like a piece of shit. I don't wanna hurt you - clearly, you've already had enough of that. I'm just looking for someone I can talk to who's not going to treat _me_ like a piece of shit. Is that selfish enough for you to be able to trust my motives?" Demyx pulled away a little further. "Jesus Christ - have you ever trusted anybody a day in your life?"

"Yes. They all turned on me sooner or later."

"Everyone? Every single person you've ever trusted for even a second has turned on you and hurt you in some way. They were all making nice because they wanted to use you in some way, or they found something about you that made them suddenly hate you. Without one exception. Not one single exception."

Demyx went rigid for a moment, then sagged and seemed to collapse in on himself. "My grandmother," he whispered. "But...she died..."

Axel tried to pat Demyx's shoulder reassuringly, but he pulled away. "Well, that's one person, at least."

Demyx's expression was unreadable under his hood. "I...miss her...should I still be able to do that?"

Axel shrugged. "I don't know, but I still miss my little brother." He could hear someone knocking on his door, faintly - probably Xigbar wondering where the hell he was. He stood up hastily. "I gotta go, before Xigbar blows my face off like he threatened to last time I tried to get out of training."

"He probably misses you too. Your brother."

Axel turned back for a second on his way to answer his door. "I don't think so. He's dead."

* * *

AN: Well, they have a major early loss in common...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	5. In which Demyx worries himself sick

Demyx couldn't sleep. Tomorrow would be his first day of fighting practice, and to say he wasn't looking forward to it would be an understatement. He was pacing the bathroom, wondering if he was actually going to be sick or if he was just going to stay awake all night with a nervy stomach. Eventually, he sat down with his back to Axel's door, envying his sleeping neighbor. Axel apparently _liked_ to fight. Fighting practice didn't unnerve him any.

"Sorry, Ricky..." Demyx nearly jumped out of his skin. That was Axel's voice - apparently he did talk in his sleep, at least sometimes. He pressed his ear to the door and listened. "...Hey, better he hits me than you; I'm bigger...He hits me, I hit back. He ever hurts you, I'll kill him...Hell yes I would!"

Demyx wondered who the hell Axel was talking to, or what he was talking about. Was "Ricky" his little brother? Was he beaten as a child? That would explain why that had been the first thing he'd thought of when Demyx was so shy...but of course, Axel was the sort of person who'd hit back...he was a natural fighter...oh, no, he just remembered all over again, fighting practice started tomorrow...he hated fighting...he was a horrible fighter...the only thing he'd be able to do is run away...and they'd call him a coward and a weakling and force him into even more fighting practice in an attempt to toughen him up...he was going to get so terribly hurt...they might even kill him by accident, or even on purpose if he was deemed useless...and Demyx's stomach couldn't take the anxiety any more. He bent over the toilet and threw up.

Axel apparently had good ears and a fast reaction time. The bathroom door opened while Demyx was still leaning over the toilet. "You okay?"

Demyx nodded warily as he rinsed his mouth out and spat - he had to admit, it was nice to be able to do that without having to go fill a glass from the tap. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just nervous."

"About what? Fighting practice?" Demyx nodded warily. "You're not just trying to make yourself sick to get out of it, are you?"

_Well, if I thought it would work..._ Demyx tried to cover his anxiety with irritation. "I'd like to think I have just a little bit of honor left. I'm not gonna try to get myself out of it on false pretenses, even if I don't like it."

Axel held up his hands defensively. "Hey, no need to bite."

"Just because it's what you would do in that situation...wait, you actually like this shit, don't you."

"...Not really. No. I just never thought of making myself puke as a way to get out of it."

Demyx sighed in pretend irritation as his stomach writhed again. Was fighting practice that awful? If whoever was in charge of it - probably Saix or Lexaeus, given his luck - heard that he'd been puking his guts out from anxiety the night before, wouldn't they be doubly sure he was a useless coward? Would they try to beat his cowardice out of him, or would they just throw him out as useless, leave him on the streets to fend for himself once more? He threw up again before answering. "Trust me...there's not much to recommend it. If I was doing this on purpose, I wouldn't be doing it. I'd be sleeping."

Axel ran a hand through his pretty thoroughly mussed red hair. "Are you sure you're not just sick, full stop?"

What was he supposed to say? 'No, I'm really just that scared'? How the hell could he be anxious enough to make himself sick to his stomach if he wasn't supposed to be able to feel anymore? _If I just said yes, and spent tomorrow in bed, I'd get at least one more day's grace..._ Demyx shook his head. "No, I'm fine; I'm just nervous."

"You must be pretty damn nervous to start puking like that."

_I know that, dammit, even though I should no longer be capable of being nervous at all...I'm so gonna get destroyed tomorrow...they'll throw me out when they realize what a wuss I am...I don't ever want to go back to Carson and Deschats...I can't go back...I'd rather throw myself off a bridge..._ "I'm not gonna try to get myself out of anything by just pretending to be sick; it just wouldn't..._blugh!_"

Axel shook his head. "You're sick, got it memorized? Not pretending, not just nervous, I think you're really sick." Demyx shook his head insistently. "Give it up. You've hurled three times in under ten minutes that I know of, and I don't know how many times before I woke up, and you definitely aren't sticking fingers down your throat or anything. In my book, that counts as sick."

Demyx shook his head again, though he knew it wouldn't do much good. "I swear, it's just nerves."

"Looks more like stomach flu to me. Go back to bed and try to stay there. Don't bother coming to breakfast; I'll explain your absence."

Demyx stood up unsteadily, rinsed his mouth out again, and flushed the toilet. "All right...I'll try...by the way, you do talk in your sleep."

* * *

AN: Irony can be funny. Hopefully Demyx gets his nerves under control.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	6. In which Axel sings in the shower

"In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first laid my eyes on sweet Molly Malone, as she -" Someone started knocking on the bathroom door, interrupting Axel's song session. "Can't come in, I'm in the shower! As she wheeled her wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow, crying 'Cockles and mussles, alive, alive, oh!' Alive, alive, oh, alive, alive, oh..."

"You know, your singing voice is not that great...just wanted to make sure you knew that..."

Axel laughed and started singing even louder, just to irritate Demyx. "Crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!' She was a fishmonger, and sure 'twas no wonder, for so were her father and mother before, and they - gah!" The flow of warm water had suddenly cut dead off. "You little jackass!"

On the other side of the door, Demyx started singing where he left off. "And they each wheeled a barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!' Alive, alive, oh, alive, alive, oh, crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!'" The water abruptly started flowing again.

Axel sighed. "Did you just do that to piss me off?" Granted, Demyx's singing voice was a hell of a lot better than his own.

The reply from the other side of the door was hesitant. "No...sorry...I...just thought it was...funny..."

"Well, that's an improvement. For a while, I didn't think you had any sense of humor." Complete silence from the other side of the door. Axel turned the water off and grabbed his towel. He dried quickly on his own, but not always quickly enough to suit himself. "If you really want the bathroom, I'll be out of here in two minutes."

"No...not really...sorry..."

This kid was a piece of work, no question. He was coming out of his shell for two or three minutes at a time, maybe once a day or two, then retreating into it for the rest of the day. It was a damn shame, because Demyx seemed like a good kid when he wasn't nervous, scared of everything, or biting heads off trying to pretend he was neither nervous nor scared of everything. "Okay, who apologizes for jokes? And if you try to apologize for apologizing, I'm gonna scream." Silence. "That was your first impulse, wasn't it."

"Yeah. It kinda was. Sorry."

"Jesus Christ on a bicycle! Is there anything you_ won't _apologize for?" Continued silence. "You don't have to answer. If you do, please don't say sorry."

"Um."

"'Um' works, I guess. Is that all?"

"Um. Yeah. I guess."

"You can be damn well impossible to hold a conversation with sometimes, got it memorized?"

"...You say that a lot, don't you."

"Say what a lot?"

"'Got it memorized'."

"Oh, that. Yeah, I guess I do." Axel expected Demyx to say something else, or at least ask why he said it all the time, but there was dead silence from the other side of the door. "Are you just being really, really quiet or did you just wet your pants waiting for the bathroom?"

"...Quiet."

"I suppose that's the better of the two options. Annoys me, though; I wish you'd talk more."

"...About what?"

"Anything. What the hell ever you feel like."

"...What if I don't feel like talking?"

Axel sighed in exasperation. "Then don't talk. Like you usually do anyway. You know, for about two minutes a day, you're a really friendly kid. The rest of the time, I feel like I'm trying to talk to a damn statue, got it memorized?"

"...Sorry."

"Goddamnit! Would you quit apologizing for anything and everything?!"

"...Will you quit saying 'Got it memorized'?"

"Are you nuts?"

"...Then, no...sorry."

"You know, you're really starting to piss me off."

Demyx's voice had been growing a little bit bolder with each exchange; now it was back to its original hesitant, barely audible level. "...If I said I was sorry, would that only make you angrier?"

Axel glared at the door for a moment. He tried to open it quickly, but it hit something large and more-or-less unyielding that yelped and fell with a thud when it came in contact with the door. "Aw, crap..." Giving up on the door, he teleported straight into the room, where Demyx was now sitting on the floor clutching an injured nose. "Shit...didn't know you were that close to the door...I'm so sorry..."

"Ahh...s'okay..."

Axel helped him to his feet. "It's not bleeding at all, is it?"

"Dun thig so...ahh...thad hurds..."

"Shit. I am so sorry."

Demyx came close to half-smiling. "Dow you're the ode sayig id."

* * *

AN: I had to make Axel sing "Molly Malone" some more.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	7. In which Axel meets Cricket LickIts

Of all the overly friendly advances Axel had made thus far, hauling Demyx to Twilight Town for a day off was the creepiest, bar none. No one needed to tell him all the horrible ways it could possibly end up, and he couldn't be 100 percent sure anyone else knew where they were. If he wound up dead in a ditch, no one would know what had happened to him - except Axel - and they'd probably all assume he couldn't take it anymore and ran away. It wasn't like he was valuable enough to come hunt down a second time. And he couldn't exactly explain his concerns to anyone else - he'd be lucky to get laughed at.

Well, sure, he had picked Axel out as a bully at first, not a murderous pedophile. But it was entirely possible for him to be wrong.

"Hey, come on, lighten up! This is supposed to be a fun trip!" Demyx scrunched down a little deeper into his oversized robe - they still hadn't made one to actually fit him yet. He didn't understand how he was supposed to have "fun" when he was in constant danger of being dragged off into a dark alley and brutally murdered by a certain child-killing redhead and being found several years later by a dog digging for bones. "There's nothing to be afraid of." Oh yes there was. "Are you just getting back at me for smacking you in the nose yesterday? I told you that was an accident."

"I know you did." Demyx hoped that maybe by being as frigid as possible, he might be able to discourage Axel.

"What, do you not believe me?"

"I didn't say that."

"I know you didn't say that. What I want to know is whether or not you were thinking it."

Demyx shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"It matters a lot. I'd hate to think you don't trust me to at least tell the truth. I know it's a bit of a stretch to expect you to trust me completely...okay, way more than a bit of a stretch, I guess..." Axel looked more than a little disappointed and discouraged as he spoke, and Demyx didn't think it was because he didn't intend to be easy prey.

_Maybe...maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe he really is just trying to be friends._

Demyx shook his head involuntarily. Friends? With him? A mangy, half-starved little kid who still bore the marks of the street? Axel would have to be nuts...

Well, there was that distinct possibility.

Axel sighed. "So, even though you don't like me, trust me, or believe a word I say, you want some ice cream?"

Demyx looked at him warily. "If I don't like you, trust you, or believe a word you say, why would you still try to be nice to me?"

"'Cause I'm a stubborn fuckin' idiot, I guess." Axel kicked a trash can angrily, and Demyx backed off a step. That was the first time he'd seen Axel use violence against anything outside of a practice bout, and it scared him, though he had to admit it didn't surprise him. "Cool it. I'm not gonna kick you, unless you turn into a trash can and get in my way. Now, do you want some ice cream? There's an ice cream stand right over there. Or would you rather have something else? Seriously, pick anything."

Demyx sighed heavily and pressed his bruised nose to the window of the shop they were standing in front of - a candy store that specialized in the distinctive, rare, and downright bizarre. He tried to decide what of its contents would be most likely to throw Axel for a loop. "I think I'd like one of those."

Axel peered through the window at what Demyx was pointing at. "Cricket Lick-Its...oh, God. You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me."

"I think the mint-flavored kind."

"Lollipops with fuckin'_ crickets_ in them? God. You can't be fuckin' serious."

"I'm serious. I wanna try it. Or one of the ones with the scorpion in them."

"Oh, God!" Axel hadn't just been thrown for a loop; he looked like he wanted to throw up.

"It looks really interesting. They might even be good. You never know until you try."

"God! You've gotta be nuts! You've gotta be off your damn rocker!"

"They have them with mealworms in them too..."

"My God...do people actually buy these things? And eat them?"

"Or they have bags of crickets with flavoring on them like potato chips...sour cream and onion, bacon and cheese, salt and vinegar...maybe I'll try those instead."

"Demyx...I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You said 'anything'. Now I want a bag of sour cream and onion Crickettes. I wonder how they taste."

Axel's face was as green as his eyes by this point; he had to swallow hard before speaking. "All right. I will give you the munny to go in there and buy whatever your sick little taste buds desire, on one condition. Whatever you get, don't make me watch you eat it. I don't even want to know what you buy - I don't even want to think of you eating it."

"Well, you've seen their selection...as long as I can get 'anything'...those boxes of chocolate-covered ants look good too..." Axel clamped a hand over his mouth and shuddered, clutching his stomach. "If you're sure you don't want to go in, just give me the munny and leave the rest to your imagination..."

Axel gagged visibly and handed him a wad of munny without bothering to count it. "Here! Just quit torturing me!"

Demyx had to admit later, it had been pretty funny to present the still-green Axel with his take from the candy store - a block of transparent sea salt candy containing a (cracker) goldfish in an edible aquarium setting. He was a little sorry he'd led him on like that with the bug candy, but his reactions had been hilarious - he had to admit, it was getting a little harder to remember he was supposed to be freezing Axel out.

Of course, he didn't tell him about the mint-flavored Cricket Lick-It in his pocket.

* * *

AN: I decided a good long while ago that Demyx was going to be the most adventurous eater in the Organization, since he's so timid in most other areas. Then I heard about Cricket Lick-Its and thought "Could Demyx possibly be that adventurous?" The answer is yes. Axel, however, is not. Wow, Axel takes the Lord's name in vain a lot, doesn't he. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized? And Cricket Lick-Its and all the other insecty snacks detailed belong to Hotlix. I thought the Aquarium Candy would be manufactured in a sea-salt flavor especially for Twilight Town.


	8. In which Demyx is worried sick again

On the one hand, it was good that Demyx had found something better to do when he couldn't sleep than simply fret himself sick. On the other hand, Axel really wished he'd put the sitar away after a certain point, say, midnight. At the very least, he could play something a little more relaxing. Not that it wasn't good; it just made Axel tense up and start watching shadows carefully. And Axel was actually _trying_ to sleep. Not much chance of that right now.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore. He went and banged on Demyx's bathroom door. "Pack it in for the night already, would you? I'm trying to get some actual rest over here!"

The music stopped, and there was a delay before Demyx responded. "...Sorry."

"Thank you. That's better." Axel was on his way back to his room before the hesitant voice on the other side of the door stopped him.

"Are you...mad at me now?"

Axel thought for a moment before answering. "Well, I guess I can't really be mad. If I had a heart, I might be a little irritated at having to bang on your door to try and get some rest, but I wouldn't really get mad unless I had to ask a few too many times."

"Okay...I won't do it again...if it bothers you..."

"I am not looking for an excuse to attack you, got it memorized? That'd be Saix."

"...Um..."

Axel's ears perked. "Um what?" Demyx's reply was long delayed and inaudible. "What?"

"Nothing. Go back to bed...I hope you're able to sleep now..."

Axel sighed heavily. So Shellboy had returned, it seemed. "Good night. You'd better get some rest too." He flopped back into his own bed, and was just drifting off when he heard footsteps in the bathroom. At first, he assumed Demyx was just going one more time before crashing, but the footsteps just didn't stop. Step, step, step, step, step, pause, step, step, step, step, step, pause; in cycles, alternately approaching and retreating. Axel sighed - so Demyx was in there pacing the floor. If left uninterrupted, he'd probably get himself worked up to the point where he got sick to his stomach. And then Axel would have to force him to go to bed, maybe even promise to make excuses for him so he could get a day off just so he'd stop working himself up and relax enough to sleep, and then once he was in bed he'd have to clean up after him. Axel was in no mood to clean spew off the floor at 12:30 in the morning, so he portaled into the bathroom instead. "All right, what's eating you?"

Demyx looked at him anxiously. "Nothing."

"Wow, the way you said that, I actually got the impression you expected me to believe it. Just in case you didn't get the idea, I don't. Let's try this again - what's eating you?"

Demyx stared at the floor. "Fighting," he said in a very small voice.

Axel sighed. Not like that was unexpected. "You know, you will have to get used to it after a while. It is apparently a big part of the job."

Demyx was getting even more agitated, which really wasn't what Axel had been hoping for. "I _hate_ it. Don't give me any of that shit about how I can't hate, love, or even give a damn about anything - I _hate_ it. I hate being asked to hurt people. I hate getting hurt myself. I hate being asked to use my sitar as a weapon - that's just _wrong_."

"It is a weapon..."

"It's an instrument, dammit! There's a difference!"

Axel shrugged. "Well, it's supposed to be used as a weapon..."

"_No. It's. Not._ It's supposed to be used as an instrument. You know, for playing music. Not for hitting people with!" Demyx's voice kept rising the whole time, and he was definitely looking more than a little pale.

Axel backed off a step or two. "Cool it. Cool. You don't need to work yourself up any more. You need to relax." Demyx looked at him like he was nuts. "If you make yourself puke again, I'm not making any excuses for you this time."

"Dammit, Ax...I never asked you to in the first place..." Demyx's face was now mostly white with a little green. He suddenly shuddered and gulped, and Axel hastily forced him to lean over the toilet before the inevitable happened.

Axel shook his head. "I warned you that was going to happen if you didn't cool it a little."

Demyx wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I know you did...I'm sorry..."

Axel sat him down on the floor - next to the toilet, just in case. "All right, let's start from the top - what exactly is making you sick with anxiety? Just fighting in general, or is there something more specific?"

Demyx took a deep breath. "...I'm gonna have to fight Saix tomorrow."

"Oh..." Axel, who was far and away the better fighter of the two, would have been sticking fingers down his throat in a second to get out of that. He'd rather throw himself off a balcony than go in against the blue-haired lunatic. "Scratch what I said about making excuses for you. You don't deserve that."

Demyx shook his head. "For God's sake, don't. How long do you think it's gonna be before they get the idea I'm making myself sick to get out of fighting? Even if they knew I can't help it, I'd just look like even more of a wuss than I already am."

"Hey, not wanting to fight Saix doesn't make you a wuss, it makes you a reasonably intelligent person with a healthy fear of death, got it memorized?"

Demyx shook his head again. "I don't want to use getting sick from nerves as an excuse to get out of any more fights, okay?"

Axel shrugged. "Your funeral, I guess."

Demyx started to turn pale again. "God, I hope not."

"...Oh, great, you're not gonna start puking again, are you? Because frankly, I'd rather listen to you play sitar all night..."

* * *

AN: You've got questions; I've got answers. Sometimes. What's the answer to what question will be determined at a later date. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	9. In which Demyx gets thrashed

At this point, Demyx was just waiting for Saix to kill him. He'd tried - God knew he'd tried - but he might as well have spent his energy trying to shield himself; maybe he wouldn't have been hurt so badly if he had. Trying to fight sure hadn't done him any good. Every time he'd tried to swing his sitar at the Luna Diviner, it had been knocked out of his hands and he'd been knocked across the arena in the other direction. Then, before he had a chance to recover, Saix would catch up to him and continue his thrashing until he got away, or Saix turned him loose and ordered him to keep fighting. The jets of water he was occasionally able to summon were easily dodged, or simply did no damage serious enough to count.

And still, he kept trying. Like the idiot he was.

He struggled to his feet, supporting himself on the wall, and summoned his sitar from across the arena. Saix merely stood there, staring at him with glaring yellow eyes, as if he knew for a fact Demyx was no more threat than a mosquito, if that. Struggling against physical pain and a deep sense of hopelessness, Demyx tried to concentrate, summoned one more burst of water...

He blinked. Saix must have hit him over the head harder than he'd thought. The water was just...standing there, like a liquid statue of him. Apparently Saix didn't quite know what to make of it either; he didn't move to attack it.

For the first time since the fight began, Demyx had a little flicker of hope. He pointed at Saix, and the water clone moved to attack -

And disappeared in a spray of mist after one solid hit from that claymore. Demyx tried to run, but there weren't many places to run to in the arena. Saix caught up with him quickly, swinging his claymore - Demyx fully expected to catch the bladed edge across his neck or chest this time, but Saix nailed him across the ribs with the flat of the blade, sending him sprawling on the sandy ground, gasping for breath and struggling to stay conscious. As his vision alternately clouded and cleared, Saix towered over him, looking at him as if he was something best dealt with with a mop and a bucket. He was shaking his head in disgust. "Utterly worthless...what use could the Superior ever hope to make of you?" he snorted, then stalked off, leaving Demyx lying in the sand.

For the longest time, he stayed there, completely still, ignoring how the sand seeped into every crevice in his clothing and every cut and scratch on his body. Eventually, he started sobbing uncontrollably. Saix was right - if he was going to have to be a fighter, he was permanently useless. He'd never be any use for anything - he was absolutely worthless as a fighter, and if he was useless as a fighter, that made him useless to the Organization.

Except maybe as a punching bag. Or a laughingstock. Or in Axel's case, maybe a sort of living porcelain doll.

Why didn't Saix just kill him? Just so he could prolong his humiliation? Hold him up at the dinner table that night and say "I warned you all he was worthless"?

Not caring if he was breaking any rules or not, Demyx opened a portal to somewhere - anywhere - he didn't care where, as long as none of the others found him. Found him? No one would even look for him, not even Axel. No one would care enough.

He found himself by the shore of what he thought at first was an ocean, until he tasted the water and discovered it was fresh. Fresh and _icy_ cold - the air was frigid, the wind fierce, the sky dark, a storm clearly imminent. He didn't care - it still seemed safer than going back to the Organization and his inevitable public disgrace. He summoned his sitar and began to play, alone on the rocky lakeshore, where no one could hear him and no one would knock the sitar out of his hands again. As he played, the storm intensified, and the wind grew ever more bitter, but there was no one present to care. As his hands and lips started to go numb and turn blue, and he started to shiver uncontrollably, he discovered he didn't care either.

* * *

AN: If only that were true, Dems. Go read "The Gales of November". 

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	10. In which Axel saves Demyx from freezing

"Demyx, where the hell are you?"

Axel knew the odds of him even being in this world were pretty slim - there were thousands of worlds he could have run off to, and the chance that Axel would randomly find himself not only in the right one, but within earshot of Demyx was minimal at best. Just to improve his odds, he was starting with worlds that had a particular feature he figured Demyx would be irresistibly drawn to - a beach. This happened to be a volcanic beach, and fairly bleak even as volcanic beaches went - Axel liked it, but he didn't figure Demyx would. Sighing, he opened a portal and tried the next world with a beach.

He staggered slightly as he crossed through the portal - this beach was being pummeled by a horrific winter storm. There was ice everywhere, including falling from the sky, the wind was biting, and the waves sounded like hungry water dragons tearing at the shore. No way would Demyx be here - he had more sense than that. But some vague, undefinable impulse forced him to stand there in the darkness and cold, and listen.

And he heard it.

Sitar music.

So apparently Demyx had been cuckoo enough to hide out here, in a place and time that suited Axel's definition of Hell pretty neatly. But if he'd been hanging out here the entire time, he was probably pretty damn miserable himself, and Axel felt it was his duty to rescue the little nut. So, following the faint, mournful notes, he forced his way down the rocky beach, fighting to stay upright against the wind. He hoped Demyx wouldn't stop playing before he caught up to him, or else he'd never be able to find him...then he thought about that again, and what implications it might have, and started running... "Demyx! Demyx, where are you!" He thought he heard a faint response, but if he did, it was quickly carried away by the wind... "Demyx!"

"...Axel? That...you?" He couldn't have been imagining that. Not twice in a row.

"Demyx, where are you!"

"You...really..."

"Demyx?" Damn the storm; he could barely see a foot in front of his nose. He tried to light a fire to see his way, but it had to be twice the size of a basketball before it could stand up to the wind and icy rain, even if he kept feeding power into it...and Demyx was only about fifteen yards away, curled up around his sitar. "There you are, you little lunatic...you scared the shit out of me..."

Demyx's face was icy pale, with some strong bluish tints. "Didn' think anyone would notice..." His shoulders twitched, as if he was working himself a little deeper into an invisible blanket. "I was...jus' gettin' warm..."

Axel removed one glove and put a hand to his cheek; it felt like a block of ice. "Getting _warm_ - hell, you're not far from freezing to death, you little head case." He carefully picked the younger boy up, sitar and all; Demyx didn't resist. "Come on. I'm taking you back to the castle. Then you can really get warm."

Demyx nodded weakly and snuggled into his chest as the sitar vanished. "You're warm," he murmured softly.

"Well, fire." Axel opened a portal back to the castle, to Demyx's room, and carefully peeled him out of his saturated clothing, dried him off, and wrapped him in a warm, dry bathrobe before getting him under the covers - no point trying to warm him up while he was still all cold and wet. As an afterthought, he went to Demyx's closet and found a few more blankets to add to the pile. "Think you might be starting to warm up a little?" Demyx nodded weakly. "Good. I'm gonna get you some hot chocolate or something else hot to drink."

"Wait...how'd you find me?"

Axel shrugged and shook his head. "Sheer dumb luck."

"Why'd you even come lookin'?"

Axel half-smiled. "I like having at least one person around who isn't a complete ass, got it memorized? That means I gotta keep you. You're the only one who fits that qualification."

Demyx stared at him in surprise for a moment. "That's it?"

Axel nodded, then sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Demyx's hair reassuringly - it wasn't all that long ago when that move would have earned him an impromptu cold shower and Demyx would have retreated into his hard little shell for the rest of the day. "No more...and no less. Now you try to get your crazy self warmed up and I'll get you some hot chocolate, okay? You like marshmallows?"

"...Yeah." Demyx smiled faintly and buried himself under the covers.

By the time Axel returned with the hot chocolate, Demyx was shivering fitfully. Axel had to help him drink it carefully, and even so, it splashed a little, scalding his face slightly. By the time it was gone, Demyx's skin had gone from icy to cool, and from dead-white to just very pale. "Warmer now?" Axel asked quietly. Demyx nodded and disappeared under the blankets again, shivering so hard even the blankets were shaking.

_Poor kid. You damn near turned yourself into an icicle._

Sighing, Axel lay down on top of the blankets next to him. Maybe he could help thaw him out.

* * *

AN: Silly little icicle boy. Smart people don't visit Lake Superior after October.

And, um, well. If Document Management and Story Management are going to be down from 2:00 AM until about 4:00 PM EST tomorrow, maybe I should just publish this now.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	11. In which Demyx is actually sick

Demyx crept back to consciousness very slowly - he was so warm, very warm, and very comfortable. If he had to get up and crawl out of bed, he'd get cold again, and he didn't want to get cold...he'd been so cold...so cold...and now he was all warm and buried in blankets, and still so sleepy...

And his throat hurt so much...

And there was something else in bed next to him. Or someone. All of a sudden, the all-encompassing sensation of comfort, warmth, and well-being vanished to be replaced by bleak horror - he knew what sharing a bed with someone usually meant for him. He tried to scream, but it came out a cough, which made his throat hurt even worse.

"Huh - are you okay? What's wrong?" It was Axel, who was apparently only just waking up himself. And he was lying on top of the blankets, not under them. Still, what the hell excuse could he have for sleeping on or in Demyx's bed in the first place? Demyx just gave him a reproachful look and tried to ask him what the hell he was doing - but no words came out, only a thin, cracked hiss. Axel looked down at him with concern. "Lost your voice?"

"I...guess..." Demyx could barely hear himself try to talk, and just the effort was painful as hell.

Axel put a hand to his forehead. "Huh...guess I did too good a job of warming you up...that or you're running a fever..." He climbed off the bed and tried to peel some of Demyx's blankets away, but Demyx wanted none of it - the blankets were just fine where they were, thanks. As soon as Axel let go of them, he pulled them right back up where they belonged. "Don't do that. I'm trying to cool you down."

"Meh," Demyx croaked - it was about the best he could manage. Every joint in his body was aching. Right then, he wanted nothing more than to bury himself in blankets again and go right back to sleep. Unfortunately, he started coughing again.

Axel sighed. "Great." He looked at the clock on the desk. "The time is now...4:00 in the morning...I'll bet anything the kitchen is nothing like open at the moment...but I bet I could still sneak down long enough to make a cup of hot chocolate or something. You sound like you could use one - or tea, if you'd prefer," he added doubtfully.

"Nghh..."

"I guess you have a point...tea would probably be better...you like sugar in it?" Demyx nodded and held up two fingers. "Two sugars?" He nodded again. "Awesome. Decaf, I presume, since you look like you're in a hurry to go back to sleep anyway if you can stop coughing long enough. Back in a bit."

As soon as Axel left, Demyx curled up under the covers again, trying to regain that sense of pure comfort and well-being he'd woken up with. His sore throat kept coming between him and it, and by the time Axel came back with the hot tea, he was about ready to give up anyway. "I couldn't find where Xaldin kept the sugar, so I used honey instead - tea with honey is supposed to be good for sore throats, isn't it? I wouldn't know, I don't drink the stuff..."

"S'fine..." Demyx mumbled. After a few minutes of careful sipping, whatever crud had been sealing off his vocal cords had melted away enough to let him talk coherently. "Not bad...thanks..." His head still felt like it was in a fog, and for some reason, his nose was now running like a faucet. "Got any Kleenex?"

"I have a box back in my room..." While Axel went to retrieve the Kleenex, Demyx started drinking the tea a little more quickly - it was cooling off now, and he really wanted to finish it and go back to sleep. There was still half of it left by the time Axel returned.

"Thanks..." Demyx grabbed a Kleenex and blew his nose, then looked around helplessly for a trash can to put it in. Axel quickly brought it over from the other side of the room and set it next to the bedside table, and Demyx gratefully dropped the dirty Kleenex in it. "Thanks for that too...were you a nurse in your past life?"

Axel burst out laughing. "Oh, hell no. What gave you that idea?" Demyx shrugged and went back to drinking tea. When he was finished, he had to remind himself to set the empty cup back on the bedside table instead of going back to sleep with it still in his hands. His throat didn't hurt so badly now, and he was almost asleep by the time he got the blankets where he wanted them. "Guess you're going right back to bed?" Demyx nodded wearily. "Fine...stay warm...hope you feel better in the morning, but if you don't, I'll hassle Vexen on your behalf...and I'm going to go sleep in my own bed now."

"Wait...what were you..." Demyx didn't even have the energy to finish the sentence. Keeping his eyes open was a lost cause.

"Because when I dragged you back from the frozen wastelands, you were shivering so pathetically even under two feet of blankets that I just had to try to help you warm up. And then I fell asleep there. Does that answer your question, or was that not what you were trying to ask?"

"Mmph," was all Demyx could manage as he buried his face in his pillow. Axel sighed and turned out the lights; by the time he shut the door behind him, Demyx was already out for the count.

* * *

AN: Aww. Poow wittwe Demy.

Demyx: Mmh...go 'way... (snore)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	12. In which Axel gets shot

_This was supposed to have been an _easy _mission,_ Axel thought helplessly as he crouched at the back of the cave. It wasn't even really his mission; he was just supposed to be providing cover for whatever Zexion and Lexaeus were doing fifteen miles away by starting a few "suspicious" fires. And his part of it had worked perfectly, or as perfectly as it could have, considering the torrential rains that had been drenching the area lately. The local law enforcement were out looking for a serial arsonist, not a couple vaguely suspicious people fifteen miles south.

Unfortunately for Axel, so was the vigilante mob.

At first, fleeing into the mountains had seemed like a good idea. Too bad the locals seemed to know their way around everywhere like the backs of their hands. And it didn't help that the cave he was hiding in was rapidly filling up with water; it was already up to his waist. It seemed that when too much of him was underwater, he couldn't use his powers anymore, including to open portals to safety. While he was standing there wondering why he hadn't done that in the first place, his choices had apparently narrowed down to "get caught and lynched by the mob" and "drown". Safe to say, he didn't like either of them.

_What the hell did I burn that got them all so pissed?_

At least, as long as he could still see the faint light from the entrance, he knew he hadn't been found yet. Maybe, just maybe, if he waited long enough, they'd give up and leave, and he'd be able to crawl out of there and escape unharmed except for his dignity.

The light disappeared. It was like they'd found him by reading his mind. He groped desperately for some possible exit that led deeper into the cave, but he'd already gone about as far as he could. He froze when he heard the unmistakable sound of a pump-action shotgun.

"I suggest you freeze right there, little firebug," the shotgun's presumptive owner drawled. "Don't need much light to see where you are; your eyes glow like a cat's. Real handy, that." Axel hastily squeezed his eyes shut. "Shoulda done that in the first place, boy...I still know where you are, and you ain't got very far to go."

He was right. Axel might as well have been tied up and in a net. "What do you want?" he asked, opening his eyes again and trying not to let his voice shake too much.

"An end to those myster'ous fires that've been hittin' town lately...and five hunnert dollars for you, dead or alive. Sheriff generally likes 'em alive, for legal purposes, but I think dead would be a whole hell of a lot easier on me."

Axel had no reason to doubt the man, or his aim. He swallowed hard and braced himself for the shotgun blast that would herald the abrupt end of his short life story. His only satisfaction, and it was small and grim if there ever was such a thing, was that Nobodies, at least the lesser Nobodies like Dusks or Assassins, didn't seem to leave bodies behind when they died, so his killer would be out his five hundred dollar reward.

The blast, when it came, brought with it some of the worst pain he'd ever experienced. His arm and right side felt like something had tried to tear him apart by punching holes in him. The strange part was, he was still able to stand. And he could hear sounds from up the cave...not approaching footsteps, of someone coming to check on his prize, but...choking. Gurgling. Like someone fighting unsuccessfully to breathe. And eventually, silence.

"Axel?"

Now if that wasn't the last voice he'd expected to hear. "Demyx, what the hell are you doing here? What happened to that guy?"

Demyx's voice was barely audible. "...I think he's dead...are you okay?"

"Not exactly...he didn't miss completely...and I would really love to get out of here."

A few seconds later, someone much smaller than himself came up on his uninjured side, supporting him, and opened a portal back to the castle and safety - of course Demyx would have no trouble with his powers when half-submerged. "I hope it's not too bad," he said very softly.

"Doesn't feel too bad...hurts like a bitch, though..."

Demyx's face was the same color as the walls and ceiling, but he kept his composure, even as he watched Vexen pick shot out of Axel's hide and bandage up all the holes in his skin. Axel yelped and cursed the whole time, but Demyx was completely silent. He didn't say a word until he'd helped Axel back to his room and into bed. "I hope you'll be okay," he whispered.

Axel waved a hand vaguely. "I'll survive," he said, but Demyx was turning green and starting to hyperventilate. Without warning, he dove for the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Axel winced and tried not to listen - it sounded like his stomach was turning itself inside out. _Why does it not surprise me that he doesn't like blood..._

But he didn't come out again, not even after the sounds of sickness had been replaced by sobbing and keening. Reluctantly, Axel hauled himself off the bed and went to investigate. The bathroom was a mess, no big surprise, and Demyx was sprawled on the floor, shaking slightly. "Are you all right?" Axel asked, and got no response. He sighed - this was going to hurt.

Somehow, despite his own injuries, he got Demyx upright, propped him up against the wall, washed the vomit off his face, got him out of his ruined robe, and led him out of the bathroom and into his own room. That was when Demyx said his first coherent words. "I killed him..."

For possibly the first time in his life, Axel did not simply say the first thing that came to mind and get into even more trouble thereby. Instead, he remained silent while Demyx sobbed into his pillow. Eventually, he said "If you hadn't, he'd have killed me in another second. He might have killed you too, once he saw you."

"I didn't have to kill him...I could have just knocked him out..."

"How? The tunnel was too narrow to swing your sitar, and he was a pretty big guy, from what I saw..."

Demyx curled up in a ball, like he was trying to shrivel up and disappear. "I didn't mean to kill him..." he whimpered.

"What'd you do to him?"

"Filled his lungs up with water...but I couldn't figure out how to undo it...and...he...died...I didn't want to kill him...I didn't mean for it to happen..."

Axel sighed. Demyx was in no mood to be consoled, and if he kept going, he'd inevitably trip over his own tongue sooner or later. He shook his head and kept talking anyway. "If you'd let him go alive, he'd have killed me, and he probably would have killed you too. It sucks. It's awful. But you did what had to be done. And you saved my life." Demyx made a strange choking noise and buried his face in his pillow again. "Look, who would you rather have around, me, or a guy who was all set to kill me for five hundred dollars? I know that's not much of a choice, but what sort of person would kill someone who's no threat to them just for the cash reward?"

Demyx rolled over and looked up at him for the first time. "Have you...ever killed anyone?" Axel nodded. "Who?"

Axel gently stroked the tattoos on his cheeks - the only things he'd brought with him from prison, the brands he'd wear for the rest of his life. "The people who killed my brother." Someday, he'd tell the whole story, but now didn't seem like the right time.

* * *

AN: Um. Demyx to the rescue?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	13. In which Demyx cooks

The absolute last thing Demyx needed was to get sick to his stomach from nerves right now. He tried to remind himself how _well_ everything had gone so far - Xaldin had been gone on a mission and not around to chase him out of the kitchen, he'd found all the ingredients he needed, he'd found all the cookware he needed (though he'd had to improvise a bit), he remembered the recipes pretty well, or thought he had - well, the end results looked right and smelled right...and the kitchen had been left alone long enough for the paneer to set, so no one started asking awkward questions...

What if Axel didn't like Indian cuisine? That worry made Demyx feel a little queasy all over again..._Stop that,_ he ordered his stomach. If Axel didn't like it, he'd eat it himself, and try again next time. Though Axel did seem like the kind of guy who went for spicy food. And he was barely able to drag himself out of bed for meals without the help of enough painkillers to make him loopy; he'd probably be grateful for getting food delivered to him...especially something homemade...

_I hope he likes it..._

Demyx was a little amazed his hands weren't shaking as he knocked on Axel's door. "Come in," came the response - Axel's voice wasn't slurred at all, so he must not have been under the influence of painkillers right then. Demyx opened the door warily. Axel was propped up on pillows, sans shirt, watching some cheesy martial arts flick on a tiny TV with built-in VCR and cradling his injured arm; the sling was abandoned at the foot of the bed. He glanced over as Demyx came in. "What is that?"

"It's chilli paneer...I made it myself..." His voice suddenly stopped working, and he handed Axel the plate, feeling like his feet had been nailed to the floor.

"You made it yourself?" Demyx nodded mutely. Axel cracked a faint smile. "You know, you look like a little kindergartener handing his crush a valentine. It's like you're not sure whether I'll like you or punch you."

"Heh," Demyx chuckled weakly, and turned to jelly inside. Handing his crush a valentine? Talk about an impression he _wasn't_ trying to create! He hoped that wasn't the one Axel had!

"Or like you're giving your mother a pretty picture you drew with her good fountain pen on a sheet of her expensive office stationery," Axel continued blithely, and Demyx relaxed. "Like you're seeking approval but not sure you're not in all kinds of trouble. I suppose it depends on how good it is." He actually took a bite. "...What is this again?"

"Chilli paneer...paneer is, um, kinda like cottage cheese...made by curdling milk with lemon juice...then pressed into blocks...that's what those cubes are..." Demyx could feel the blood draining out of his face, and his stomach was squirming like a worm on a hook. "I made it all myself," he added desperately.

"Jeez. Relax. You look like you're trying to impress the Queen of England. I'm not that fussy." Axel laughed - not harshly or mockingly - and took another bite. "And this is pretty good. You're a good cook." Demyx felt a little weak with relief - success! "And your face is now this really bright red."

Knowing he was blushing only made Demyx blush harder. "I'm glad you like it," he said softly.

Axel smiled. "It's good. And I don't think Xaldin would ever serve something like this - maybe they should fire him and make you the cook. What's the occasion?"

"Um...because I knew you had a lot of trouble getting down to the kitchen for meals...and I hadn't cooked anything for anyone but myself in a long time...and I thought you might like that...and I had all the ingredients...what do you think?" Well, Axel just told him he thought it was good, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Axel looked him over carefully. "I think you're a painfully nice kid who's been treated really horribly in his life and could have gone really far if he hadn't been dealt such a shitty starting hand." Demyx stared at his feet, reluctant to say anything, even that that wasn't what he'd been asking. Fortunately, with Axel, he didn't need to. "Are your robes all shrinking, or are you starting to grow a little, finally?"

"Huh?" Demyx looked down at his wrists. When he'd started out in the Organization, all his clothing had been too big; now there was a little strip of bare skin between his gloves and his sleeves, and his boots were starting to get a little tight..."Wonder when that happened..."

"Good food and decent health care. It's like magic." Axel grinned. "Wonder if you're gonna outgrow me now."

* * *

AN: Little Demyx is getting bigger! And more confident!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	14. In which Axel is drunk

"Demysh...Demsh...where are ya?" Axel knocked more insistently, swaying a little. "Come on...I wanna talk t'ya..." He didn't receive a response, and hadn't received one yet, but in his intoxicated state, giving up never entered his mind. "Come on, Demsh...where are ya? Pleashe...I wanna talk t'ya..." No answer. "Demyyyysh...pleeeeashe..." It was starting to percolate through his whiskey-addled brain that maybe Demyx wasn't in his room. "Demysh...where are ya?..." He'd finally decided to give up and go away - if he still didn't get an answer in five minutes - when he heard a faint whimper. "Oh...there y'are...why woncha ansher? I wanna talk t'ya..." A soft gasp, and total silence. "Demysh?" Continued silence. "Come on, Demysh...I know you're in there shomewhere..." He tried the doorknob, and discovered it was locked. "Demysh?" Nothing. "Unlock a'door? Pleashe?" Now this was disturbing. Demyx had been so friendly recently. Why didn't he want to talk to him? Axel sniffled a little. "Pleashe, Demsh..." Wait, why didn't he just open a portal into Demyx's room? What a great idea...though it took him three or four tries to get the portal open. "Hiya, Demsh...uh...where are ya?" Axel started checking all the most illogical hiding places - under the bed, behind the cabinet, in the closet - and found Demyx crouched under the desk. "Hello, Demy. There you are. I found you."

Demyx didn't look very well - his face was white, and his eyes were bloodshot, like he'd been crying. "Axel, leave me alone...please..." he whispered.

Axel peered down at him curiously, and Demyx flattened himself against the wall. "Whatcha doin' down there, Demsh?"

Demyx whimpered faintly - his hands were shaking even more than Axel's, and Demyx hadn't been at the bar with the rest of them. Too young to come along. He couldn't be drunk too. "Please...leave me alone..." He was sobbing silently.

"Aw, Demy...whash wrong?" Axel reached down to help him out from under the desk, but Demyx kept wriggling out of his grip. "Why ya' cryin'?"

"Axel, please! Go away!" Demyx begged.

Axel frowned. "Whatcha sho shcared of?" Demyx whined in fear and tried to escape, but Axel caught him. He started screaming. "Ahh - shhh - hush - don' shcream like that..."

"Let me go!" Demyx screamed, squirming and struggling violently. "Please! Let go of me!"

Axel put a finger over the younger boy's lips. "Shhh...don' shcream like that..." Demyx suddenly slipped his grip and ran into the bathroom. A second later, Axel heard two loud thumps, the second louder than the first. He staggered into the bathroom and found Demyx lying unconscious on the floor with a good-sized lump growing on his forehead. "Uh oh. Guesh you mushta hit yer head on shomethin'." Axel dragged him back into his own room, lifted him onto the bed with some difficulty, dragged the blankets out from under him, then pulled them over him. "There ya go...you'll be okay..."

Demyx groaned and stirred slightly. "Fuck...my head..." he murmured, reaching up to touch the growing lump.

"You okay?" Axel asked, sobered slightly by this minor crisis.

Demyx groaned again. "My head...hurts like hell..." He opened his eyes and focused on Axel's face with some difficulty. "You smell...like an Irish distillery...oh, God, you're drunk." He tried to scramble away, but fell back, clutching his head. "Fuck..."

Axel frowned sympathetically. "Poor Demy. You hit your head."

Demyx glared at him blearily. "I kind of figured that out by myself."

Axel tried to stroke his hair reassuringly, but Demyx batted his hand away with remarkable speed for still being groggy. "What were ya runnin' from? What were you sho shcared of?" Demyx flinched away from him, and it started to work its way through the alcohol haze. "...Me?" He sniffled. "Why're ya shcared of me?"

"Because you're drunk," Demyx groaned.

Axel scratched his head in confusion. "Whasshat have'a do with it?" Demyx whimpered and rolled over to face the wall, but inadvertently put pressure on the lump on his forehead. He hissed in pain and rolled back over. Axel reached up to stroke his hair again, forgetting Demyx's reaction the first time, and his hand got batted away a second time. "Poor Demy. You're hurt. Why're you sho shcared?" Demyx struggled visibly for an answer, then started to cry helplessly. Axel, completely baffled by Demyx's behavior, couldn't think of anything better to do than hug him. "Ish all right...I won' hurt you...got it memors- morem- memos-" He sighed. "Got it?"

* * *

AN: ...Let's just assume Demyx has suffered from some nasty experiences at the hands of drunks. What did Axel want to talk about? Even he forgot...

Kind of a St. Patrick's Day special, though it won't be published until the 18th. At least I got the drunk Irishman.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	15. In which Demyx has another nightmare

Demyx's head hit the wall so hard it bounced off, and he was knocked to the floor. Clutching his head, he found something warm and wet leaking from the injury; it was blood. He didn't have any time to think about it before something thudded violently into his side, sending him sliding into the wall again. The pain from the impact was so great he was afraid he'd broken a rib.

Axel towered over him, grinning like a demon. "Ish all right..." He grabbed Demyx by the hood, picked him up and let him dangle there like a puppet on a string, then threw him into the opposite wall. Demyx tried to get up and run away, but his entire body was paralyzed...had he broken his neck? No, he was still in so much pain...all he could do was watch helplessly as Axel staggered towards him, grabbed him by the throat, and held him up against the wall - so he was facing the wall. "Ish all right..." he cooed, as the flames started to flicker across Demyx's robe - he tried to summon water to quench it, but his powers weren't obeying him any more than his muscles were. Fire and pain danced across his skin as his clothing was burned away. "I won' hurt you..."

"Kingdom fuckin' Hearts...stop fuckin' screamin' like that...I'm fuckin' beggin' you..."

Demyx tried to sit up, but his head abruptly started pounding from the sudden motion, and he lay back, trying to sort reality from dream. A tiny flame flickered, just barely enough to see by; Axel was shielding his eyes anyway. "Oh...I'm sorry...I just had a...bad dream..."

"If it's not worse than a hangover, I'm not impressed." Axel sat down at the foot of the bed, which at that moment was still too close for Demyx's comfort. "So, now that you woke me up when I'd really love to be asleep, let's hear about it." Now that was about the last thing Demyx wanted to do. He just sat there, with his mouth hanging open. Axel gestured impatiently. "C'mon. I was hoping for a good story. At least the short version."

"Well...you were there...you were really drunk..." Demyx began hesitantly. Axel gestured for him to continue. It took him three or four tries to get another word out. "...You were beating the shit out of me."

Axel's expression changed, but he didn't look angry or disgusted - more like horrified. Or crushed. "...And?" he prodded gently, though he looked like he'd rather not hear the rest of the story. 

Demyx could barely get any words out. "And...you wanted...you tried...you were going to..." His stomach did a sudden flip-flop, and he was grateful his trash can was still next to his bed from the last time he'd had a bad cold.

When he looked up, Axel was looking more than a little sick himself. Now he was the one struggling for words. "...Is it something only truly sick and horrible people would do to little kids?" Demyx couldn't respond, not even just nodding, and he couldn't stop himself from crying. Unexpectedly, Axel reached over and brushed the tears away. "Has anyone ever done that to you?" he asked very quietly. Demyx wished he could get one word out - he wanted to lie, to say no, because he didn't want anyone to know - but he couldn't even manage to shake his head. His continued silence was all the answer Axel needed. "Okay, that's worse than a hangover...God...no wonder you were so scared of everyone when you came here."

Demyx hastily scrubbed at his eyes. "Listen, Ax...please...just forget it..."

Axel shook his head - in the dim firelight, Demyx could see little wisps of fog hovering around his eyes. "I can't just forget something like that. I'd like to - hell, I'd like to forget anything like that has ever happened to anyone." He sighed heavily. "All right - in light of that, there's something I think I should tell you, because if you found out without me telling you, you'd probably never trust me again. I'm bi. That means I like men and women both. But that's _men and women_. Not _boys and girls_. I like kids, but not like that. Got it memorized?" Demyx nodded reluctantly. "Good. Think you're gonna be okay now? Well..."

"I...think so...Axel?" The redhead, who'd been standing up to stumble back to his own room, stopped and half-turned. "When I first joined...at first you thought...that my father...were you...?" Demyx couldn't finish the sentence - he was afraid he'd already said too much. He should never have tried to ask.

Axel looked at him thoughtfully. "I think I know what you're asking. The answer is - not routinely. He took a swing at me every so often when he was drunk. I just hit back, as often as not."

Demyx nodded silently. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Axel reached over and ruffled his hair. "Don't worry about me. You'll be all right." _Don't you mean "I'll be all right"?_ Demyx thought but didn't say - his head was pounding, and he wasn't sure this wasn't just a continuation of his dream. He'd have to ask Axel about it in the morning.

* * *

AN: (fill in the blank)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	16. Which is also angsty

After a few months, Axel was finally getting his room set up the way he wanted it - sure, nothing could be done about those glaring white walls, except for posters, but the equally glaring white floor was now covered by a red rug, the white sheets had been replaced with black, the tiny TV had been replaced by a somewhat larger one, and he'd managed to scrape together the cash for an Xbox. He was sitting on the rug, playing his Xbox quite contentedly, when he suddenly heard the next door over slam - Demyx was home, and clearly not happy. Axel sighed, paused the game, and went and knocked. "Demyx, are you okay?"

"Go away, Ax..."

Axel crossed his arms and stared at the closed door. "You should know me better than that by now. Come on; open up."

There was an audible sigh from the other side of the door, and a moment later, it opened. Demyx looked at him like his dog had just been hit by a car. "What do you want?" he asked softly.

"I just want to make sure you're okay...what happened?"

"Nothing..."

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that?" Axel invited himself in and sat down on the bed, and Demyx didn't do a lot to stop him. "Come on, spill. What happened?"

"Nothing..." Axel just glared at him. "Fine...the Superior sent me to this place called Bald Mountain...just to have a look around, see how things were doing there and all that...but...it was horrible...so damn horrible...it was like the entire town was just all haunted houses...and not like Halloween funhouse type...I mean like every house looked like it had a gateway to Hell in the basement..." He shuddered violently. "There _were_ ghosts there...evil ones...and demons...I saw them...they tried to catch me...they almost got me...they were so close..." he whimpered.

Axel sighed - he'd heard stories about Bald Mountain, and it didn't seem the kind of place anyone in their right mind would go to voluntarily. What Halloween Town pretended to be for fun, Bald Mountain was in earnest. Sending the youngest member of the Organization there on a mission seemed just plain mean. "So what did you do?" he asked gently. Demyx, who was now sobbing in earnest, murmured something inaudible. "Sorry, what?"

"I ran away, okay?" Demyx snapped with sudden temper. Then he started sobbing again. "I ran out on a mission...it was the only thing I could think of...I was so damn scared...but I shouldn't be able to get scared at all...I'm just such a fuckin' _coward_..."

Axel sighed. "Demyx..."

"I'm just fuckin' useless...dunno why they even keep me around...I'm just a damn burden; I don't belong here..."

Axel gently stroked his hair - unconsciously mirroring the gesture he used to reassure his younger brother years ago. "Shh. Don't talk like that. It's not that bad."

"Can't even fuckin' fight...run away the first time I get in trouble...like a fuckin' little coward..."

"Shh. You'll be all right."

If Demyx heard him, he wasn't listening. "They're gonna kick me out as soon as they find out, I know they are...I don't wanna go back home..."

"Demyx, if you don't calm the hell down in a hurry, you're gonna be sick, you know." Demyx, who was already more than a little pale, looked up at Axel in confusion. "Come on, you're not useless. You're a great kid, even if you're not the best fighter. We've got eight great fighters already...well, seven; I guess you can't really count Zexion...but, see, you don't have to be a great fighter." 

Demyx snorted. "Zexion is _smart_. He doesn't have to fight to be useful."

"Well, you're a brilliant musician."

"That's not useful."

"And a great cook."

"Xaldin does that already." Demyx started to cry again, and he was growing even paler. "I just ran away...bolted for home like a scared rabbit..."

Axel gave him a hug. "You saved my life once. You'll never convince me you're worthless." Suddenly, he paused; he could feel something warm and wet moistening his sleeve. "...You're not hurt, are you?"

Demyx shook his head. "I don't think so..."

Axel took his gloves off and touched his damp sleeve; his fingertips came away with red streaks. He carefully ran his fingers up Demyx's back, starting where his arm had been; just as he found the torn fabric that had been hidden under his hood, Demyx gasped and gritted his teeth in pain. "I do think so. How did you not notice that earlier?"

"I dunno...I'm noticing it now, though...ah..." Demyx thought for a moment. "Just as I was going through the portal, one of those demon things grabbed at my neck...I thought it missed...guess not...ow. That hurts."

Axel sighed as he examined the deep, bloody scratches. "Did you go anywhere else after you got back, or did you just come straight here?"

Demyx hissed a little. "Just came straight to my room."

"All right, we're gonna go see Vexen...new story; you didn't come back because you ran away, you came back because you got hurt. Commit that to memory." 

* * *

AN: Huggle Demy time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	17. In which Demyx gets a windfall

Demyx lay on his back, grinning at the ceiling. For possibly the first time, he was grateful his injuries weren't serious enough to take him off duty. Sure, he hadn't been grateful when he'd arrived in Atlantica that morning - the salt water stung like hell in his half-healed cuts. But he'd gotten over that quickly. The experience of being a mer-person was too awesome to let a little pain get in the way.

And on rereading his orders, he discovered the Superior hadn't mentioned a thing about what to do if he came across an unclaimed treasure chest. On consideration, "keeping it" seemed the exact right thing to do. It was only a little one, after all...it wasn't even more than half-full. Mostly of silver coins, with a bit of gold thrown in for good measure, and this beautiful bronze mermaid he'd decided to keep instead of sell. That still left a fair bit of cash, all his to spend.

Now...what was he going to do with that money? That was what he was lying in bed thinking about. His natural tendency was not to spend a dime he didn't have to, because for the most part, he had to spend every dime he got his hands on in order to keep himself fed, clothed, and sheltered, and he couldn't always scrape together enough dimes to do that. Now, he got free meals, uniforms were provided to him (even if they never did quite fit), and he had a room to himself that he'd never have to pay rent on, but he was still hoarding his tiny paychecks, just on instinct.

He took the chest out from under his bed and looked into it again - it was only about twice the size of a loaf of bread, and somewhat less than half-full after the mermaid had been removed. It still contained more money than he'd spent throughout his entire life.

_I don't need to save all of this. I know where my next meal is coming from. I know where I'll be sleeping tonight. I know I'll have enough warm clothing to see me through winter - if there even is winter here. I don't need to worry about any of that anymore. I'm set. _

He closed the chest again and hugged it tightly before hiding it again. Security was such a wonderful thing.

He looked around his room thoughtfully. It looked exactly like it had the day he moved in - white stone walls, white stone floor, one large window, one black wooden desk, one tiny TV/VCR on desk, one bed with white bedding, one closet with hanger rod - no chairs, no rugs, no extra pillows, not even any blinds.

_Maybe I ought to fix this place up._

He started daydreaming, picturing what the room would look like in blues and aquas - sea-colored rug on the floor, blue-and-aqua bedding, dark blue curtains - pillows, several of them, because the sitar was best played seated on a pillow - an actual chair for his desk, a nice, comfortable one - maybe a bigger TV, though that wasn't a high priority - up against the wall next to the window, he could put a CD player and a cabinet to hold CDs - there was something he could do with all his saved-up paychecks, buy a bunch of CDs...

"So what are you fantasizing about?"

Demyx fell off the bed. He'd forgotten he'd left the bathroom door open. "Oh...hi, Ax...you startled me..."

"I could tell."

"Um...I was just daydreaming about what I could do if I suddenly got a few thousand munny." A safe enough thing to daydream about - assuming Axel hadn't seen the chest.

Axel looked critically at Demyx's spartan living quarters. "I'd save out at least a few munny to spruce up the place a little, maybe make it not so boring. But if I had that much munny, the first thing I'd do is go out and buy myself a copy of Guitar Hero, complete with guitars."

Demyx was relieved; apparently Axel hadn't seen the chest. "...What's Guitar Hero?"

Axel looked at him like he'd just asked what shoes were for. "...How have you never heard of Guitar Hero? Do you play any video games at all?" 

Demyx shook his head. "Never able to afford it."

Axel smacked his forehead and muttered to himself. "Well, if you ever do find yourself with a few thousand munny and nothing to spend it on, let me know, and I'll get you set up with a Playstation or a Nintendo or something." 

Demyx shook his head as Axel left - truth be known, video games didn't interest him all that much. Granted, Guitar Hero's name intrigued him a little, but he'd rather have a real guitar any day.

_...Wait a second. I could have a real guitar any day. I even have the munny for lessons._

And a few moments later, he was back to daydreaming about what to do with his windfall.

* * *

AN: Sometimes good things happen to good people. And even good Nobodies.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized? And I think Guitar Hero belongs to RedOctane.


	18. In which Axel finds out about it

_Thud. Thud - bang._ "Oww...stupidsonofa..."

Axel finally decided he couldn't ignore the loud noises anymore. He paused his game and opened the bathroom door. "Demyx, what the hell are you doing in there? Moving furniture?"

"...Yeah...I'm fine...don't come in."

"..." In Axel's book, that meant "come in and intervene before I hurt myself badly". He opened Demyx's bathroom door warily. "Why, exactly, are you moving...the hell are you doing? Installing carpeting?...Kingdom Hearts, what the hell have you done with your room?"

"I'm sprucing it up a little...remember that conversation we had last week about what we'd do if we suddenly got a few thousand munny? You told me I should use it to spruce up my room..."

Axel's mind boggled. "You didn't tell me you actually had a few thousand munny to spend at the time..."

Demyx stood up, grinning and rubbing his head. "I found a treasure chest in Atlantica. It wasn't a very big one, but still."

"...And you didn't see fit to tell anyone?"

Demyx blushed and looked at his feet. "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to keep it...I never had that much money before...it was more than I'd ever had in my entire life..."

After a moment, Axel could see why he'd react that way, and why he hadn't done anything to his room earlier. Axel was used to having spending money, and spending it, and having his parents buy him whatever he wanted that he couldn't afford himself just to get him to shut up and leave them alone. He'd been a bit of a spoiled brat. Demyx had probably never had any real spending money that wasn't immediately earmarked for basic necessities. He looked around the room. "You've got taste, I gotta admit." Very blue and watery taste, but still, taste was a rare trait in a fifteen-year-old who looked like a twelve- or thirteen-year-old shopping for himself, by himself. At least, that was Axel's experience of being fifteen once.

Demyx sat down on the blue-and-aqua bedspread, hugging a teal pillow. "You like it?"

"I'd like it better if you had your carpet straightened out...were you trying to roll it out under your desk or something?" Demyx nodded. "Bit too heavy for you, wasn't it..." He crossed the room and picked up one end of the desk, with difficulty. "Here...see if you can roll the carpet under this end...like before I drop it..." Demyx hopped off the bed and unrolled the carpet, and Axel set the heavy desk down as soon as he and the carpet were out of the way. "All right, other end..." A few moments later, Demyx's carpet was pretty well installed. "Fits great...you must have done your homework." Demyx grinned and started dropping teal pillows on the carpet. "...Don't those belong on your bed?"

Demyx shook his head. "They're for playing sitar. I got a bunch of them so I wouldn't wear one out." He flopped onto the deep carpet and lay his head on one of the pillows. "Mmm. Soft carpet. Beats hard stone any day - I could almost sleep here." 

Axel sat down on Demyx's bed and lay back - an extremely comfortable bed; he must have bought a new mattress pad too. "Fine, I think I'll sleep here."

"No you won't..." Demyx grabbed the front of his robe with both hands and tried to drag him off the bed. The only way that would work is if Axel let himself be dragged off. "Mmph...get off..."

Axel finally gave in and let Demyx drag him off the bed before his robe got torn. "Ow...all right...guess I'll sleep on the floor...what's that under your bed?"

Demyx reached under his bed and dragged out an instrument case. "It's a guitar," he announced proudly. "I'm taking lessons too."

"...You got yourself a guitar? I should have known that's how you'd interpret Guitar Hero..."

"Oh, speaking of which..." Demyx reached under his bed again and pulled out a large shopping bag whose contents still didn't quite fit. "This is for you. Go wild." Axel just stood there with his mouth hanging open, trying to think of something he could say without embarrassing himself. Demyx handed him the bag. "I had a little left over, and you said you wanted this."

The only thing Axel could think to do was give him a hug. Demyx squeaked a bit, but eventually hugged back.

* * *

AN: Argh. Stupid weather. Stupid satellite internet. Stupid meetings with relatives. The next chapter of "Aftermath" is gonna be delayed, I'm afraid.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized? 


	19. In which Demyx finds the Hall

Demyx didn't have the slightest idea what time it was. But he couldn't have cared less if he did. With Axel gone for the day, he'd gone wandering, trying to learn his way around the castle a little better so he wouldn't get hopelessly lost and have to portal to wherever he was going every time he took a wrong turn. As luck would have it, he'd found this magnificent concert hall - easily the most beautiful room he'd seen in the castle so far, and the acoustics were absolutely wonderful. He'd been camped out in there, alone with his sitar, ever since, improvising melodies that took full advantage of the hall's acoustics.

He'd never played so well in his life - the music sounded like waves on the shore, like a magnificent waterfall, like rapids racing through a canyon, like soft summer rain, like a harsh winter storm, like the calm waters after the storm had passed - all of it flowing out from his fingertips, all of it at his command, his to control, his to nurture. His only regret was that as each note died away, it was lost forever - this wasn't a recording studio; no one was making records of his music for posterity.

_Maybe I should write it down...so I'll remember better, and be able to play it all again later..._

A little warm spot had been building in his chest the entire time, and by now, it had grown so large, it encompassed almost his entire body. It felt so strange, and so very comforting at the same time. He wanted to put his hands over the warm spot, to feel it, just in case there was something beating under there...it didn't seem so impossible as it should have...but he didn't dare stop playing for even that long, lest he risk losing this beautiful music he was creating.

But as mezrab met string one more time, he gasped and had to bite his lip to keep from crying out in pain - his fingers suddenly hurt beyond belief. They'd swollen up so much he'd have to ice the mezrabs off, and they felt so sore and raw he was a little surprised they weren't bleeding. He quickly stuffed his throbbing fingers under his armpit. _I guess I must have been here a lot longer than I thought...forget it. There's no way I can keep playing now,_ he thought regretfully. Time to give it up for the day, it seemed.

"There you are, you loon...what the hell have you been doing down here all damn day? Just playing sitar?"

Demyx looked up in surprise. "Axel...what are you doing here? I haven't been here all that long...just a...few hours..." He suddenly realized he had no idea how much time he'd really spent there.

Axel looked at him like he was nuts. "A few hours? It's 12:30. And that's twelve o'clock midnight, not twelve o'clock noon. Aren't you fuckin' tired yet?"

"...It's after midnight?" How did it get so late without him noticing?

Axel nodded. "You didn't show up for dinner, and I guess you didn't show for lunch either. Aren't you starving?"

He'd missed two meals without realizing it? His stomach growled loudly as he dispelled his sitar, so apparently he had. And he suddenly felt so drained, so exhausted... He tried to push himself to his feet, but the picks on his fingers slid on the floor and his hand slipped out from under him, sending him sprawling. Axel had to help him up. "Thanks...jeez...I'm tired..."

Axel rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Why am I not surprised. I'm tired, and I'm used to going to bed around midnight - and I ate three meals today. Aren't you starving?" Demyx nodded reluctantly. "Maybe you should go eat something first..."

Demyx shook his head - he was more tired than he was hungry, he decided. He had to pull so hard to get the mezrabs off his fingers, he drew a little blood, and then it took him two or three tries to get a portal open. He collapsed on his bed and fell asleep almost instantly, still fully-dressed with the mezrabs clutched in his hand.

* * *

AN: Aww. Demy is tired. He played himself to exhaustion.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	20. In which Axel plays nursemaid again

Axel sighed and scratched his head. "You have a very sensitive immune system, you know that?"

Demyx looked up from his bowl of ramen like he wasn't quite sure what Axel was talking about, then nodded as he seemed to figure it out. "I do get sig pretty easily."

Axel rolled his eyes. "You know, I'd kind of noticed that. At least you're not puking."

Demyx shrugged - he was sitting up in bed, eating a bowl of soup Axel had brought for him, because Top Ramen was one of about four or five things Axel could reliably cook without botching it. "Dah. I jus' get sig to by stobach whed I get derbous. Whed I wear byself out lige that, it's by resbiratory tragt that suffers for it." He set the steaming bowl down and blew his nose. "Good thig it deber lasts log."

Axel sat down on the desk chair and swiveled to keep facing him. "It still boggles my mind how you completely failed to notice when you not only missed lunch and dinner, but stayed up until 12:30."

Demyx shrugged again and went back to the soup. "Sobetibes, whed I'b playig, I jus' get lige that. Dod't 'abe ady idea 'ow buch tibe is passig, dod't dotice whed I get 'ugry or tired, dod't care about adythig but the busic. It doesd't 'elp that there's do sud id this world."

Axel was having trouble figuring out what he was saying under the sinus congestion. "It doesn't help that there's what?"

"Do sud. So it's always dight. Always darg, all the tibe."

"Oh, no sun...I get it..." Demyx nodded. "Let me get something straight...if you've spent the last several years of your life before now never having enough to eat, and now you finally have all the food you can eat available - basically 24-7, since you're a more than competent cook, unlike me - how the hell can you miss meals without realizing it?!"

Demyx set the soup down to blow his nose again. "I guess I leard 'ow to deal with goig 'ugry whed I could't always eat three beals a day - 'f I did't, I prolly woulda gode duts after a while. 'Ad to get used to it 'f I wadted to surbibe. Besides..." He gestured helplessly. "The busic...it jus' does sobethig...it's lige it's all I care about...lige it's the odly thig id the world...I duddo why that 'appeds, or ebed what it's doig, but it's awesobe." His eyes were definitely shining a bit.

Axel was somewhat less than impressed. "Awesome enough to be worth the misery the next day?"

"Fug yeah. It's idcredible. Would't trade it for worlds. I gotta go bag to that roob sobetibe - it's got the best acoustigs id the castle, that I dow of." Demyx went back to eating his soup absentmindedly, his eyes still shining and his mind obviously on something else altogether. "This is jus' a code. It's godda be gode toborrow. But the busic..."

He sighed, and Axel was reminded of nothing so much as a guy talking about his "true" love. Though, hell, music was probably a much truer love than any girl or guy Axel had ever dated. It wasn't like music was going to talk shit about you to its friends or go out with someone else behind your back. "Guess you're a really..._dedicated_ musician, then?" he asked for lack of anything better to say.

"Busic is better thad sleep," Demyx said in a tone that invited no argument.

Axel rolled his eyes. "You can't die from not getting enough music, got it memorized?"

Demyx's head jerked up sharply. "I would!"

* * *

AN: Kind of foreshadowing "Strange Mad Ecstasy". I had trouble coming up with ideas, so young!Demyx obligingly came down with a cold. That's just how nice he is. Fori is not being so obliging, so if the next chapter of "Aftermath" is late, that's why.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	21. In which Demyx is forced to get tough

Demyx didn't quite know what the purpose of this mission was. Axel, as the highest-ranked person on the mission and therefore the nominal "commander", had the bulk of the mission paperwork, while Demyx only had the papers detailing his specific role, which was mostly as backup in case of water-related trouble. They were visiting a chain of islands known as much for violent storms and giant waves as for beautiful weather and beaches, so he could see why he'd be potentially handy enough to want along. Axel would have shared their objective with him if he'd asked, but he'd never gotten around to it. He knew they were supposed to be there for a couple days, and that they were going to take boat rides from island to island, and that was enough to make him some convincing facsimile of happy.

Well, it had been. It wasn't anymore.

The first hint of trouble had come when he noticed how anxiously Axel was looking at the boat. It was a beautiful day, with a light breeze - as far as Demyx was concerned, a perfect day for a boat ride, but apparently Axel disagreed. "Are you okay?" he'd asked, but Axel had just shrugged without answering. Then, when they were actually on the boat, Axel had rudely forced his way into the window seat Demyx wanted. Lacking the nerve to protest, Demyx just sat quietly next to him, wondering if he'd done something to upset or offend his older friend. Friend? That's how he'd been thinking of him, amazingly enough, but...yeah, apparently that had been as silly of him as it had been every other time...Axel just kept staring out the window; he wouldn't even look at him... Finally, he worked up the nerve to ask: "Axel? Are you all right?"

Axel turned to face him, with his face as green as his eyes, and all of a sudden, the Coke and fries that had been in Axel's stomach a few seconds ago were now in Demyx's lap. "_Ah - goddamn_ - sonofa - wait, let me guess - seasickness."

"What gave it away?" Axel murmured miserably. Demyx hastily tried to lead him up to the deck, in the hopes that some fresh air would make him feel better, but Axel threw up in the middle of the aisle before they even made it to the stairs. They could hear at least one other passenger being seasick as well - probably pushed over the edge by listening to Axel - which didn't help any.

Fresh air didn't do much good either. Axel had spent about forty-five seconds standing at the rail, trying to enjoy the breeze, before he leaned over it and vomited again. Right now, he was hunched up in a corner of the deck, with his face buried in a garbage bag - apparently the crew preferred the hopelessly seasick to use bags, instead of being sick over the rail and ruining the view out the window for the passengers on the lower decks. Demyx had a garbage bag of his own, containing his ruined robe; some concerned crew member had figured he'd want to take it off as soon as possible - correct - and save it to be professionally cleaned - incorrect, but it was thoughtful of her nonetheless.

Not sure what else to do, he sat down next to Axel and stroked his gelled hair gingerly as the redhead's stomach heaved again. "You'll be all right soon...as soon as we land, you'll be fine...it'll be over soon..." he murmured, in an effort to be reassuring.

"Who's playing nursemaid now?" Axel croaked, then retched violently as his stomach gave up more of its contents. "I'm ready to throw myself over the side just to put myself out of my misery..._heurgh!..._Ah, fuck..."

"Why didn't you mention this earlier? Maybe they could have sent someone else instead..."

"Because I didn't -" Axel paused, took a few deep breaths, and vomited before finishing his sentence. "Didn't know about the boats until I got here. Wish I had."

Demyx switched to rubbing Axel's back - he wasn't going to admit it in a hurry, but he was starting to feel more than a little sick himself; Axel's nonstop sickness was starting to affect his stomach. "We're almost there. It'll be over soon. Don't worry. You'll be okay."

Axel threw up again, then nodded weakly. "Can't be soon enough," he muttered. "Kingdom Hearts, I feel like I'm gonna die..."

"Oh, you better not...we're coming up to the docks right now...it's almost over..."

Axel tried to keep his stomach under control long enough to get off the boat, but at the last moment, he threw up on the gangplank. Then he staggered over to the nearest bench and collapsed. "Sorry you had to watch that," he mumbled, lying flat on the bench with one hand on his stomach and one hand over his eyes. "Fuck, my stomach's killin' me."

Demyx sat on the ground next to the bench. "Maybe you should just go home."

Axel waved a hand decisively. "Oh, fuck no."

"Ax...we have three boat trips to go."

"...Oh, fuck."

"Really. You'd be better off going home."

Axel shook his head. "No. I'm not gonna skip out on a mission just 'cause I don't like it."

Demyx sighed in frustration. "Don't like it? In case you forgot, you spent the entire twenty-minute trip puking your guts out! And that's the shortest trip of the four!" Axel's face, which had slowly been regaining its normal color, suddenly started turning green again. "Look, you're not up for this. If you keep going, you'll spend so much time sick, recovering, or anticipating you won't be able to get anything done. I'll be fine on my own, I promise."

"I'll be okay -"

Demyx held out his hand for the paperwork without turning around to look. "You'll be too miserable to function, and the mission is going to take twice as long as it should. Give it up. Go home. Get Vexen to look at you just in case. Warn Xigbar never to send you on any mission that involves boat travel again. Get some rest. Eat something that won't come back up. But for Kingdom Hearts's sake, don't torture yourself."

"I'm - dammit, I can't just -"

"Axel, stop being an idiot. Go home or I'll knock you out and throw you through a portal."

There was a long pause. "...The first thing I wanted to say was 'You wouldn't', but right now, I believe you would." Axel sighed and put the mission papers into Demyx's outstretched hand. "You win...and forgive me for ever thinking you didn't have a tough bone in your body."

* * *

AN: Now everybody can go "poor Axel". He's like this on trains, airplanes, and roller coasters too. And he's not exactly comfortable with cars.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	22. In which Axel is annoyed

"Demyx? Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine..." Demyx went back to staring off into space with a dreamy look. The same dreamy look, in fact, that he'd been wearing through the whole meeting. Axel was having to subtly direct him so he didn't walk into walls on the way back to his room.

"You know, if you had a heart and there were any girls around, I'd be asking if you'd fallen in love or something..." Demyx shrugged. "What's got you wandering around in a daze like that?"

"Nothing...I'm fine..."

"Then why are you walking around like you can't see what's in front of you and don't care anyway?"

"Huh?"

"Screw it; you're hopeless..." Instead of taking offense, Demyx just nodded absently and continued staring off into space, humming softly. Axel sighed and gave up helping direct him - maybe walking into the occasional wall would be good for Demyx's sense of reality. It turned out that wasn't the case - Demyx clipped his shoulders on so many walls Axel was surprised he didn't break both collarbones, but his head remained quite firmly in the clouds.

So much so that when the two of them reached the long staircase between the meeting room and their living quarters, Demyx missed the first step entirely. Only Axel's quick reaction time saved him from falling headlong down almost two and a half stories. "Kingdom Hearts! Are you awake yet? You could have broken your damn neck wandering around daydreaming like that!" Demyx shook his head distractedly, as if he'd just been startled awake from a deep sleep. "What the fuck is the matter with you?! Are you high?!"

"No - I just - I was - I - shit, I'm gonna forget it...son of a..." Demyx broke away and raced down the stairs at top speed.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Axel yelled after him. Rather than risk his own neck, he teleported down the stairs. Demyx slammed straight into him at the bottom, and they both went sprawling. "Kingdom Hearts, what the fuck is with you?!"

Demyx gasped and jumped up, with his hands covering his mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry -"

Apologies or no, Axel had officially had it up to here. He grabbed Demyx by the shoulders and pulled him in close. "Let me repeat the question. What. The. Fuck. Is. With. You?!"

Demyx whimpered and tried to squirm out of Axel's grip. "I'm sorry - but - music - I couldn't - I had to - I can't - but - my room - staff paper - gotta go - before I forget - don't wanna - if I forgot - "

His face kept growing paler and paler, and when it started edging towards green, Axel interrupted his nonstop stream of babble and forced him to sit down on the bottom stair. "Cool it. Not so fast. Relax or you're gonna make yourself puke. Just hit the 'pause' button and take a few deep breaths. No spontaneous nervous upchucking allowed, got it memorized?"

Demyx shook his head fiercely; his face wasn't getting any paler, but it wasn't going back to its normal color either. "I gotta get back to my room - before I forget -"

Axel sighed heavily. "Forget what, for Kingdom Hearts's sake?"

"The music I was working on..."

"..." Axel wasn't sure he'd heard that correctly. "I'm sorry - the what?"

"The music I was working on during the meeting."

Axel took a few deep breaths. "...Are you trying to tell me you were drifting off during the meeting, then walking into walls, then damn near falling down the stairs and killing yourself...because _you were too busy composing to pay any attention to what the fuck was going on around you?!_"

Demyx was slowly sliding down to the far end of the stair. He made a strangled squeaky noise that sounded something like "neep".

"For the love of Kingdom Hearts..." Axel took two steps in his direction, and Demyx jumped up and started running _up_ the stairs. He made it about eight steps before tripping over his own feet and tumbling back down, and Axel wasn't fast enough to catch him this time. "_Shit!_" Demyx sat halfway upright, clutching his head and lower back; his face wasn't so pale, but it was twisted in pain. "Are you all right?"

Demyx groaned. "Shit...that fuckin' hurts..."

"Can you stand up?"

Demyx slowly dragged himself to his feet, then took a few experimental steps, hobbling like an arthritic old man. "Ow..." A few more steps, and he was walking a little easier. "...Okay...that still hurts...but I think I'll live." Axel sighed and offered Demyx a shoulder anyway. "Seriously, I'll be fine...ow..."

"Remind me never to bite your head off. You always seem to end up hurting yourself when I do."

Demyx shook his head and winced. "Bah. I could use some ice..."

"All right, to the kitchen." Axel opened a portal instead of trying to get Demyx to hobble up the stairs. "Then I wanna hear what you've been composing. Assuming you haven't forgotten it in the excitement..."

* * *

AN: This changed a little. Originally, Demyx threw up all over Axel.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	23. In which Demyx does something stupid

Demyx was not having a good day. It had started with possibly the freakiest dream he had ever and probably would ever have - he and Axel were a romantic couple, and despite not having the necessary anatomy, he somehow became pregnant, only to die in Axel's arms after giving birth to a baby girl. He woke up, drenched with sweat and water, and discovered that not only had he accidentally flooded his carpet, he was running a high fever. Well, the fever explained the dream, but - dammit, this was the worst possible day for him to get sick. He and Axel were supposed to be leaving on a four-day mission that morning.

_Forget it. I skipped too many missions when I was just sick from nerves. I gotta get through this one._

Every instinct he possessed cried out for him to remain exactly where he was until his mind unfogged and his stomach didn't feel so awful, but he wouldn't let himself miss another mission due to illness. Instead, he got himself out of bed, showered, and dressed, forced himself to eat breakfast, then threw it back up after he returned to his room. He stalled for time by claiming he was still packing while he was really trying to clean out his trash can - he hadn't even had time to make it the fifteen feet to the bathroom before losing it.

He could hear Axel's irritated sigh on the other side of the door. "How the hell can you still be packing? Did you not pack at all beforehand?"

"Not very much...sorry..." As a matter of fact, he was completely packed, but he needed an excuse. He hadn't expected to wake up sick today.

There was a pause. "Are you okay? Your voice sounds kind of shaky."

"Yeah...I'm fine..." One benefit of being able to control water was the ability to make the toilet flush quietly, over and above how much easier washing out the trash can became; if Axel had heard the toilet flush while Demyx was supposedly packing, he'd definitely figure out something was up. Now that the can was as clean as he could get it in the brief time he had, he set it back in his room hurriedly, then grabbed his fully-loaded backpack and travel case.

Axel looked at him warily. "Are you sure you're fine? You look pretty pale, if you ask me."

"Yes, I'm sure. I just didn't sleep very well last night." Truly, he felt like death warmed over, but he wasn't going to let on. "So where are we going?"

Axel handed him his share of the papers. "Lo and behold, we're going to Washington, D.C. - hopefully that means something to you. I hope we're not supposed to be stealing the Declaration of Independence or anything..."

"I know where it is, but I've never been there." Well, that was hopeful. Demyx wasn't sure how well he'd be able to handle some of the stranger worlds right then. "Where are we gonna be staying?"

Axel shrugged. "Probably some cheap-ass hotel that's not actively a fleabag, especially if it's left to my budget."

"I could chip in..."

"Like you have a shitload of munny in a secret Swiss account somewhere?"

"We could at least get a better room..."

Axel started poring through the stack of paperwork. "No, believe it or not, we have reservations somewhere. Probably some cheap-ass budget joint, but that just increased our spending money, in case we need it for things like food."

Just the mention of food made Demyx's stomach turn, but he tried to conceal his nausea. "Ever consider starting a souvenir collection?"

"More than once...look, are you sure -"

"_Yes._ Let's go."

* * *

AN: This _will_ come back to bite him. Why Washington, D.C.? Two words: _National Treasure_. It's now a legal Disney world.

Also, I hate Mpreg. Loathe it. Despise it. That is all.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	24. In which Axel watches TV

The desk clerk looked at both of them with concern, but Axel was too irritated to care. And Demyx...well, by Axel's way of thinking, he ought to be ashamed of himself. "We haven't been attacked by thugs or anything, my brother's just sick...and dumb as toast..."

Demyx, leaning heavily on Axel's arm, stirred slightly, his face damp with sweat and tears. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"You should be." Axel half-led, half-carried him to the elevator, then back to their room. Even though Axel had won the coin toss that morning, he forced Demyx to lie down on the bed - presumably, he'd now get to sleep on the couch, which was about the right size for Demyx but too short for him. "So, you're just fine, and there's no reason you can't come along."

"I'm sorry," Demyx repeated weakly.

"Just because you threw up and passed out while I was trying to talk that guy into telling us whatever information Xemnas wanted us to get out of him." Axel snorted as he retrieved the trash can from the other side of the room and set it over by the bed. "You dipshit."

"I'm sorry..."

"And for the love of Kingdom Hearts, would you please stop apologizing!" Demyx made a slight gurgling noise, then leaned over the edge of the bed and threw up into the trash can. "...Okay, that wasn't an improvement."

Demyx groaned and flopped back on the bed. "Sorry...I assume now that you'd rather hear me apologize than hear me puke."

Axel sighed and collapsed on the couch with the remote. "Why don't they ever get more then a dozen channels...what the fuck made you decide you were still fit to come along, for Kingdom Hearts's sake?"

Demyx shrugged weakly. "Thought I could shake it off. Thought even if I couldn't, I'd be over it by tomorrow."

Axel snorted. "And even if you are, that's a day wasted. What am I supposed to do with you now?"

"Send me home, I guess." Demyx closed his eyes and apparently fell asleep, but Axel could tell he was crying.

"Do you want me to?"

"If I'm not gonna be able to do anything but lie here being useless..."

"That's not exactly what I was thinking about...I can't exactly take you to a local hospital, because as soon as they check your pulse, you'll be a media sensation and the medical curiosity of the millennium."

Demyx sat bolt upright, turned dead white, and vomited into the trash can again. "Ugh...can't handle sudden movement, I guess...but you got a point."

Axel shook his head. "Changed my mind. You stay right where you are. You're not well enough to get even that far."

"I'm sorry..."

"And please, for the love of Kingdom Hearts, _stop apologizing_. If you have to apologize for anything, then apologize for insisting you were healthy enough to come along when you were anything but."

"...Bleh." Demyx rolled over onto his side and curled up into a ball.

"Are you actually passing up a chance to apologize for something?" No response. Axel looked up to discover Demyx had fallen asleep. Probably all to the good, but now Axel had to rely on the television's meager offerings to keep himself awake and alert - he didn't want to leave the hotel with Demyx alone and sick in their room.

_Have you been lying about your age?_ he wondered. Demyx kept insisting that he was fifteen, but as much as he'd grown recently, he still didn't look it...he still looked like a child...especially curled up asleep like he was...how was he going to get this mission accomplished with no backup, in case Demyx wasn't over it by tomorrow?...was there _anything_ good on? Eventually he settled on the least objectionable and stupid program he could find, and watched it only because he had nothing better to do.

"What is this? Pay-per-view lesbian porn?"

Axel jerked in surprise and almost fell off the couch - he hadn't realized Demyx was awake or that he himself was in the process of zoning out. "You little - it's the freakin' Weather Channel, you dipshit!" Demyx wormed his way under the blankets and went back to sleep, grinning to himself.

* * *

AN: (tsk) Demmy. He told you not to do that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	25. In which Demyx is in even worse trouble

Demyx didn't have a very clear idea what was going on around him. He was having trouble sorting out reality from his own distorted thoughts. "Axel, where are you?" he cried out softly, feeling lost and alone, even though he was in his own room and his own bed - no, he was in a hotel room, somewhere - he knew where, he just couldn't remember exactly...

There was a cool hand on his forehead - odd; Axel's hands should have been hot to the touch. "I'm right here...calm down...oh, damn." A couple tiny, round objects were forced into his hand - he looked and found himself holding a pair of red and yellow pills. "Take those; they might help your fever."

Fever? He had a fever? Was that why his head felt so fuzzy? He swallowed the pills and waited for them to take effect, while Axel mopped his forehead with a damp washcloth. Soon, his stomach started feeling strange, and not a good kind of strange. "My stomach feels weird," he murmured softly. Axel groaned and made him lean over the side of the bed, and before long, the pills came right back out, along with whatever else had been in there.

When he was done throwing up, Axel made him lie down again. "Glad you said something...fuck, I should have sent you home yesterday," he said, looking worried. "Dammit, I thought you were supposed to be over this shit by now..." Demyx groaned and tried to sit up. "Give it up. Lie down. You need all the rest you can get. To hell with it. I'm taking you back to the castle."

Demyx shook his head insistently - he didn't want to go back to the castle, not before the mission was completed. "Can't go back...gotta finish the mission..."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Right now, if our mission was to get from here to the elevator, that would be beyond you. There is no way in hell you could possibly do anything useful, and I can't spend all my time here taking care of you and still get anything done. And I don't want to just leave you here by yourself, as sick as you are."

Demyx waved a hand - there wasn't anything wrong with him; he just felt a little shitty, and his stomach wasn't quite all right, but he'd be fine soon - he just needed a little rest...he was just tired...he couldn't keep his eyes open... "I'm not sick..."

"Okay, you're not just sick, you're delirious."

"I'm not delirious," Demyx groaned. Where did Axel get that idea? He was fine...just so tired...and his stomach was a little upset...

Axel sighed, and the washcloth was removed. "Gotta go soak this again. It's drying up." A few minutes or a few hours later, the damp washcloth was laid across his forehead once more, and he opened his eyes to see Axel's concerned face. "Poor kid."

"I'm not a kid..."

"You are to me. I don't believe you're really fifteen."

"I am...I'm just small...how old are you?"

"...The hell are you asking that for? Oh, forget it, might as well humor you...nineteen."

"Not that old..." Demyx snuggled deeper into the sheets, feeling cold all of a sudden, and his eyes shut of their own accord. When the blankets were peeled back, he squirmed and protested. "Don't do that...I'm cold..."

Something shifted around underneath him, and he opened his eyes to discover Axel was now cradling him in his arms. He didn't just look worried, he looked frightened. "Demyx, how can you be cold? You're burning with fever."

Demyx didn't care about silly nonexistent fevers; he was _freezing_. He snuggled against Axel's chest as the nearest source of warmth. "You're warm," he murmured.

"Glad you've found some use for me..." Demyx closed his eyes again, and didn't notice as Axel carried him to the elevator and then down to the lobby. "My brother's really sick; I'm taking him to the hospital," he heard him say.

A strange woman answered. "Oh, no - would you like us to call you an ambulance, or -"

"No, thanks; I rented a car. I'll drive him." A door opened, and suddenly the air smelled different, and there was a lot of traffic noise. "All right...good thing the parking lot is behind the building."

Demyx shifted a little to a more comfortable position, still too tired to open his eyes. "Thought we didn't wanna go to the hospital..."

"We don't. We're going back to the castle. Just didn't want anyone to see the portal, or wonder why you weren't staying in the room anymore." There was the sound of a portal opening, and the atmosphere changed again - funny how every place they went smelled a little different. This air had the familiar, slightly dusty smell of the Castle that Never Was. "You can wake up now. We're back."

"I wasn't sleeping..." Demyx protested weakly. He opened his eyes for a few moments - yes, they were in the castle - then closed them again; keeping them open took too much effort. "...Are we brothers?"

Axel stopped dead in his tracks. "...What the hell?"

"You told that lady I was your brother..."

Axel laughed softly; Demyx could feel it as well as hear it. "That was just my excuse for why were were sharing a room, but now that I think about it, I guess that kind of fits...come on, little brother, we're going to see Vexen." Demyx smiled a little as he drifted off to sleep, finally feeling warm again.

* * *

AN: Awww. Brotherly wub. My brothers are never this nice to each other...or to me...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	26. In which Axel returns from DC

"That's all he was willing to tell me, and when I tried to find the guy he referred me to, it turns out he died four months ago in a hit-and-run accident..."

"Are you certain the dead man was the person you were supposed to be looking for?"

"All the details he gave me were a match to what was in the report I read of the accident. Saw the obituary, too. Everything matched up."

Xemnas read over the handwritten notes Axel had given him - Axel remembered every detail of all three conversations he'd had with his mysterious source "Nick", but it was easier to write them down than recite them all. "Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"...I think I've about covered it already."

Xemnas nodded. "Very well, Eight; you may be excused."

Axel nodded in return and left the office, resisting the temptation to run. Instead, he portaled down to Demyx's room - he had to know how he was doing as soon as possible. "Demyx? How are you doing?"

"Surviving." Axel was relieved. Demyx was sitting up in bed, reading a book; he still looked rather wan, but much improved over the last time he'd seen him. There was a bowl with a little bit of rice still in it next to his bed, so apparently he could hold food down now. "How'd the mission go?"

"That Nick guy was an idiot, and I don't think he told me anything useful - he sent me to talk to a dead guy, for one thing. How about you? You look a hell of a lot better than you did the day before yesterday."

Demyx nodded. "I feel better too. As soon as you left, Vexen took my temperature, drew some blood, stuck a couple IVs in my arms, and told me I'd be spending the night in the hospital wing. I didn't even know we had a hospital wing. But I passed out for the rest of the day and most of the day after, and when I woke up, I was feeling a hell of a lot better, and I could hold some actual food down. Vexen's only letting me try bland stuff like plain rice and dry toast, but I haven't started puking again. He's got me on antibiotics, too."

Axel sat down in his desk chair and spun it around once - too often and he'd start getting sick in a hurry; he knew that from experience. "Good. Glad you're getting better. You scared the shit out of me at the hotel, I hope you know."

Demyx's pale face colored slightly. "Sorry about that."

Axel waved a hand dismissively. "Nah, you're okay, so it's okay. Next time you feel too sick to go on a mission, though, _don't go on the damn mission_, got it memorized? I didn't know what the hell was wrong with you, or how bad it was, and you kept insisting you were fine. Don't do that anymore."

Demyx blushed again and nodded. "The Superior told me the exact same thing, once I was well enough to make any real sense of what anyone was saying. Except he was less nice about it. He didn't exactly call me an idiot, but that was the message I got."

"And for good reason! What if you'd been doing something really dangerous or important when you collapsed? You might have ruined the mission, or gotten yourself killed, or something."

Demyx nodded. "That's about what he told me."

"Good. Now how long are you going to remember that?"

Demyx grinned at him. "I'll remember it for the rest of my life, just in case you ever do anything like that."

"You're gonna have a long wait..." Axel stuck his tongue out at Demyx.

"I'm figuring right until the first time you get sick on the day of a long mission." Demyx stuck a bookmark in his book and set it aside, yawning. "Would you mind turning the CD player on? I'm kinda tired. Whatever's in it is fine."

Axel reached around behind him and hit the "Play" button, and was immediately greeted by Beethoven's 9th. "Didn't know you went for classical."

"I'll go for anything..." Demyx worked his way under the covers and settled in for a nap. "Wake me up in a couple hours or so."

"All right...get well soon...little brother."

* * *

AN: Storyline over? Maaaybe...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	27. In which Axel and Demyx talk

"Axel, where are you from? Were you from? Before?"

Once upon a time, Demyx would have rather died than ask that question. He was still nervous as hell and sort of embarrassed about asking - he knew Axel's life hadn't exactly been full of cotton candy and rainbows; he wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to talk about it at all.

Axel, far from being irritated, just glanced up from his video game at where Demyx was lying on his bed reading - he was sick of lying in his own bed waiting to get well enough to function normally; he'd needed a change of scenery. "You know, once upon a time you'd have preferred to shrivel up and die than ask me what day it was. You're improving."

Demyx sighed. He'd neatly sidestepped the question, and he didn't have the nerve to ask him to actually answer it. "Thanks...sorry if that question bothered you."

Axel paused his game, set the controller down, and sighed heavily. "You know, I think that if I whipped around and slashed your throat right this instant, you would use your last breath to apologize for getting blood on the chakram."

Demyx froze rigid. "Eep," was all he said.

"...Oh, for the love of Kingdom Hearts...I'm not gonna slit your throat just to find out, got it memorized? Jeez...you're still flinchy as ever, in some ways." Axel stood up and ruffled his hair. "You know, you'd be a lot happier with a little more confidence." Demyx nodded - if he could be happy without a heart, then he was happier here than he'd been since his grandmother died, where he could wake up in the morning and know nobody he met that day would look down on him for being homeless and funny-looking and not all that bright, or try to knock him down and rob him, or far worse. He went back to his book, fairly certain that Axel would neither answer his question nor get mad at him for asking. "Some small town in the United States that you've never heard of, full of rich white people with overinflated senses of their own importance in the world. How about yourself?"

Demyx squirmed a bit - granted, he should have expected this. "I was born in Dilli."

Axel tilted his head to the side. "You say that like I should know where it is, but if I've ever heard of it, I don't remember - and that suggests I've never heard of it."

"...It's the capital of India..." Granted, Demyx wasn't entirely clear on all his national capitals, but Axel didn't have the excuse of quitting school at a very early age. He ought to know what the capital of India was.

Axel scratched his head. "That's Delhi."

"...Same city."

"Oh..." Something suddenly seemed to hit Axel. "Holy shit, my family's RV was probably bigger than your whole house!"

It was a little irritating, how he'd just assumed that - not all Indians lived in mud huts or filthy slums. But while it was hardly true for everyone in India, it had been true for him and his grandmother. What he remembered of their home in India involved one room, without much in the way of furniture - just a little stove, a few cupboards, a bed, and a crib, not even indoor plumbing. Instead of mentioning that, he just shrugged. "My grandmother and I moved to the United States when I was three." Life in the United States hadn't been all that much better, but at least they'd had a refrigerator and running water and other such luxuries.

Axel smirked humorlessly. "I'd ask where exactly, but I can guarantee it wasn't in my area. If an upper-class Indian family with children that would be attending the local schools moved in, it would be the talk of the town. One old lady with her grandson...I don't want to say that you'd have been run out of town, but I can guarantee that certain people would have turned up their noses and kept them there for the rest of their natural lives, and I'm reluctant to say they would have been in the minority."

Demyx shrugged. "I understand what you're talking about. I was always bullied in school for looking different." And for not being much of an athlete. And for not being much of a scholar. And for talking with an accent. And for celebrating Hindu holidays, but not Christian ones. And for being shy, and unaggressive, and sensitive, and just being different in general. In fact, the other kids had made his daily routine a living hell - the only person who ever treated him decently, even kindly, was his grandmother, which is why he'd quit school after she died. Without her support, he couldn't take it.

"Was it that bad?"

"Huh?"

"You're crying." Demyx swallowed hard and scrubbed at his face. Axel shook his head. "Give it up. Go ahead. Bawl like a baby. I'm not gonna think anything less of you for it."

Demyx shook his head. "No, I'll be okay - I'm sorry -"

"Why do you apologize all the time for every little thing? There's gotta be some good reason!"

"There really isn't...sorry." Axel snorted and rolled his eyes. "I guess it's just easier than picking a fight...especially since it felt like I met someone every day who was just hoping for an excuse to beat the shit out of me." Axel winced sympathetically. "Why do you say 'got it memorized' all the time?"

"Oh...um...guess I should have been expecting that, but I wasn't..." Axel laughed weakly. "My...Other's name...my old name...was Lea. Spelled L-E-A, not L-E-E; don't ask what my parents were thinking, they may not have been. Anyway, everyone always assumed it was L-E-E, and I got sick of correcting them over and over...I guess I started telling everyone to memorize how it was spelled when I met them just so I wouldn't have to do that."

"Oh...I guess that makes sense..."

Axel glanced at his wall clock. "It's about dinner time...feel like making an appearance yet?"

Demyx snorted. "For a bowl of plain white rice and a little dish of applesauce? When Vexen starts letting me eat real food, I might consider it."

"Fine, I'll bring something back up for you...and remember, never -"

"Never go out on a mission when I don't feel well. I got it memorized."

* * *

AN: (random sound effects)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	28. In which Axel tries to do something dumb

"So, Roxas, what do you think of Naminé?" Axel asked, not particularly concerned that he was playing a video game he'd never seen on a console he didn't own with someone he didn't recognize in a room he'd never been in.

The blond boy next to him, who couldn't be older than Demyx, shrugged in a particular unconcerned manner that meant he was very much concerned. "She's okay, I guess..."

Axel snorted. "Bull. You _guess_ she's okay. _I_ guess you're not telling me the whole story. Look, you're blushing."

"What are you talking about?" "Roxas" protested ineffectively.

"You have a crush on her. Sudden and severe."

"I do not!"

"Okay, you have a crush on her _and_ you're in denial about it."

Somewhere, a radio came on. "Hello, this is Radio WTNW, and you're listening to 'Demyx in the Morning'...It's now 7:15 on a Wednesday morning, and you might be able to see a beautiful sunrise on a world that actually had a sun...it's a big, big day today...places to go, people to meet, fires to set...and right now is the perfect time to GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED, YOU MORON!"

Axel fell out of bed, "Roxas", "Naminé", and the rest of his dream fading into thin air. "Demyx, I am so going to get you for that...!" The threat came out as a croaking hiss, stripping it of much of its menace, and he started coughing violently almost immediately.

Demyx stopped laughing into the hairbrush he'd been using as a microphone. "Axel, are you okay?"

Axel hauled himself to his feet, trying to ignore how his head was pounding. "Yeah, I'm fine..." he croaked. "Just got some crud stuck in my throat..." It didn't help that it hurt like an absolute bitch to talk. "Jus' need a little hot coffee or something..."

Demyx sniffed the air. "Oh, goodness, what's that I smell? Is it smoke? No, I think it's either hypocrisy or bullshit..."

Axel glared at him. "The fuck're you talkin' about?"

Demyx mimicked Axel's voice flawlessly. "'Never go out on a mission when you don't feel well, got it memorized?' That ring any bells?"

Axel waved a hand. "Shuddup. I'm not sick." Demyx folded his arms and gave him a look that plainly said 'Axel, you idiot'. "There's nothin' wrong with me that coffee won't fix -" He was cut off by another coughing fit.

"Axel..." Demyx grabbed his shoulders with unexpected strength in someone so small and forced him to sit down on the bed. He put one hand to Axel's forehead, then jerked it away hastily. "Holy shit. You're usually pretty warm, but - yow. That was like setting my hand on a burner."

"You're making shit up; I'm not -" Axel was interrupted by an explosive cough. "I'm not sick!"

Demyx touched his face thoughtfully. "Hmm...when did I hear those words last...oh, I think it was back in Washington, D.C., just before you accused me of being not only sick, but delirious."

"Knock it off, asshole...I'm fine..."

"And the last time I said that, I was washing my partly-digested breakfast out of a garbage can, stalling for time by pretending I was still packing."

"Demyx -"

"Axel, give it up. You sound like a frog with laryngitis." Demyx forced him to lie down. "You just rest there, and I will tell Xigbar you're too sick to do anything, and I will bring you some breakfast before I go, if I go, including some hot coffee. And ifsobe coffee is all you need, then you just got a free day off."

Axel sighed. "Fine. I give," he croaked.

Demyx grinned. "Good." He disappeared into the bathroom, and returned with a wet washcloth that he lay on Axel's forehead. "There. Try not to start any fires while you're at it."

* * *

AN: Silly, silly Axel.

Also, I'm going to be out of town for the next few days...updates will be questionable.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	29. In which Demyx meets Zexion

With Axel sick and sleeping, Demyx didn't have much better to do than start wandering though the castle again. This time, instead of the Hall of Empty Melodies, he found himself in the library. It was a beautiful place, and unexpectedly warm and comfortable considering the cold austerity of the rest of the castle. And it seemed totally unoccupied - an excellent place to while away a few hours. He started scanning the shelves, not looking for anything in particular, just looking at all the long rows of books he'd never seen before about subjects he'd never even heard of before. "What's algebra?" he asked musingly, taking a book off the shelf and reading from its cover.

He got the sudden sensation that someone was watching him, and he froze. "Nine, when _did_ your formal schooling end?"

Demyx looked around nervously, but didn't see anything. "Um...where...are you?" _Who are you?_ he wondered and didn't dare ask. Something flickered at the edge of his vision, and suddenly a short, silver-haired man was standing where no one had been a second ago. "Oh...um...hi, Zexion...is there...um...something..."

Zexion eyed him in mild irritation. "The question, Nine?"

"Oh...um..." Demyx could feel his face turning red. "Um...four years ago or so..."

Zexion stared at him. "How old were you at the time?"

Demyx stared at his feet. "Eleven," he mumbled.

Zexion continued to stare at him, looking awed and a little horrified. Then he seemed to snap out of it. "The gaps in your education must be absolutely appalling...something will have to be done about that...come with me..." Zexion led him to a large table in the middle of the library or thereabouts, sat him down, and proceeded to quiz him relentlessly for almost two hours, including math questions that made him stare in helpless horror and feel a little sick to his stomach. What sort of person put letters in a math problem? Math was supposed to be all numbers!

"So...what do you think?" he asked nervously when the questioning was apparently over.

Zexion pored over the notes he'd taken, looking less than pleased. "...Your current level of knowledge is approximately what one would expect of someone whose education ended with elementary school. Extensive tutoring will be required to bring you up to an age-appropriate level."

Zexion never used a small word where a huge one would work, and he had a magical way of making Demyx feel about six inches tall. "...Meaning...I'm about as dumb as a cardboard boat and I need to go back to school?"

Zexion snorted. "Knowledge is only a measure of how much education one has received. Intelligence is a measure of how readily one learns, not of what one has learned thus far."

"Oh..." Demyx's gaze was continually directed at his feet. "So...um...what does that mean for me?"

Zexion shook his head. "As previously mentioned, extensive tutoring will be required, the sooner the better."

"The sooner the better...you mean, like, right now?"

"It will never get any sooner..."

* * *

AN: Moar Zexion plz. Also, oww. Poor Demyx. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	30. In which Axel gives good advice for once

Axel was more than a little confused. Why the hell was Demyx always busy all of a sudden? He basically only saw the little musician at meals anymore, and then he always looked harried. He wasn't spending all his time playing or composing in the Hall of Empty Melodies - that was the first place Axel had thought of. Whenever Axel caught him in his room, which wasn't that often, he always claimed to be too busy to talk, or even to answer the door. Some mornings, the only evidence Axel had of his existence was a wet towel and a bottle of hair gel on the bathroom counter - sometimes Demyx had already finished eating breakfast and left by the time he stumbled to the kitchen for his morning coffee.

Apparently Demyx had not only stopped being sociable and available, he'd stopped sleeping. And when Demyx couldn't sleep, that usually meant Axel couldn't sleep. Making a mental note to buy himself some earplugs next time he went into Twilight Town, he went and rapped sharply on Demyx's bathroom door. "Would you stop pacing the damn floor, turn the damn stereo off, and go to sleep already! It's after midnight!"

The voice next door was hesitant and a little strained. "Sorry...I just...I'm just wide awake still...for some reason..." The stereo was obediently turned off, and Axel collapsed back into bed, but it wasn't three minutes before that incessant pacing started again.

This time, he didn't bother knocking. He just yanked the door open. "For the love of Kingdom Hearts, am I gonna have to knock you out - what the hell are you doing? What's with all these books?" Demyx stared fearfully at him with hollow, sleep-deprived eyes and tried to say something, but all that came out was a whimper. "'Fundamentals of Chemistry', 'Biology', 'Introduction to Geometry'...the hell is this? Going back to school?"

Demyx nodded. "Zexion said I had to..."

Axel was sure he'd heard that right; it just wasn't clicking properly. "...Zexion said you had to go back to school? Why?"

"Because I stopped going to school so early...he said I had to catch up..."

Axel shook his head in disbelief. "Where the hell are you going to school?"

"In the library."

"The library - the library here? Who's your teacher?"

"...Zexion..."

Axel rubbed his forehead, glad he'd received his high school diploma before losing his heart. Hopefully they wouldn't force him to get a college degree while he was here. "So what the hell's got you pacing the floor? Got a big test tomorrow?"

Demyx nodded anxiously. "In geometry...I hate math."

"I'm not gonna defend it...I was never too fond of it either. I liked chemistry, mostly because our teacher would set stuff on fire on request. Zexion doesn't do that, does he."

Demyx shook his head and sat down on the bed, hugging his knees. "Maybe you should teach chemistry."

Axel shook his head. "Nah, I'd be a lousy teacher. One word of advice, though, from someone with a lot of experience - you always, always, always do better on a test if you get a decent night's sleep the night before. Just trust me."

Demyx blinked at him. "Is that code for 'go to bed'?"

"No, it's just good advice. Now go to bed. See, I don't need to put it in code."

Demyx sighed. "All right...I...guess I should..."

"And if you don't, I _will_ know about it. Good night."

* * *

AN: The Radisson has a nice lobby, and wireless Internet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	31. Which involves food

Both Zexion and Xaldin were gone on missions for the day. Demyx had been hoping for this day for a long time. Wary in case of an unexpected return, he slipped into the kitchen, checked to make absolutely sure there was no one within a hundred yards, opened the refrigerator, and started searching.

Sausage, peppers, onions, diced ham - he could use all of them, and the cooked bacon too. The cupboards revealed brown sugar, chicken broth, cornstarch, cans of diced tomatoes and tomato paste, and uncooked rice. The freezer yielded a five-pound bag of frozen peeled shrimp that was down to the last pound or so - perfect. A little cold water would thaw those out.

Cooking had always seemed a little magical to him - that was why he'd been so eager to help out in the kitchen, and to learn to prepare his own meals at an early age. Taking all these disparate and not always appetizing ingredients, throwing them in a cauldron or a pan, mixing them together, adding one of these dried leaves or a bit of this powder, and somehow getting a delicious meal at the end...magic. _Food you make yourself tastes best_, his grandmother had told him once, and he knew what she'd been talking about.

And he had the kitchen, and his own time, all to himself today. He'd been looking forward to this.

"What the hell are you doing in there?"

He almost dropped the bottles of spices he'd gathered. Apparently he did _not_ have the kitchen, or his own time, all to himself. "Hi, Ax...were you looking for me?"

"Yeah, I was wondering where you were and why you never showed up to lunch..." Axel looked at the work in progress on the stove and figured out for himself what the hell Demyx was doing in there. "You could have warned someone you were going to make your own so we knew not to expect you."

"Sorry...but Zexion left a couple assignments for me to get done, and I was trying to get finished with those as fast as possible so I could have all the free time I could get...and then, I was too busy planning..."

Axel stared into the currently-empty pan, then at all the ingredients Demyx had gathered. "So, what sort of witch's brew are you intending to concoct?"

"Jambalaya." Demyx drizzled a little oil into the pot, turned the burner on, and put the ham in to brown.

Axel scratched his head. "You say that like I should know what it is...but what is it?"

Demyx shrugged and half-smiled while he sliced the pepper and onion. "'Jambalaya' is Cajun for 'whatever you find in the kitchen'."

"Ah..." Axel contemplated for a moment. "Were you from New Orleans, by any chance?"

Demyx shook his head. "I wish I was. I've only been there once, but I loved it...I'm not even from the general area. In terms of heritage, I have no right to be cooking Cajun cuisine."

Axel snorted. "In terms of heritage, I have no right to drink anything but Guinness and Budweiser."

"...Should it worry me that the first example you seized on was beer?"

"No. But I'm not going to live on corned beef and hamburgers either. I like pizza too well."

Demyx half-snorted as he dumped the vegetables into the pot. "Pizza and vodka."

"No more booze jokes, got it memorized? I don't drink often enough to deserve it. Besides, vodka's not my drink of choice."

Demyx looked at him sideways. "What is? Irish whiskey?"

Axel carefully studied the far wall. "...Yeah."

* * *

AN: Concocted over a bowl of excellent jambalaya. One advantage of going to conferences is being able to pretend I'm Rachel Ray on forty dollars a day and can spend as much on one meal as I usually spend on food in a week. (It vexes me how spending forty dollars a day on food alone is supposed to be FRUGAL. I don't spend forty dollars on food alone in _three weeks_. I live on instant ramen.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	32. In which Demyx displays an odd talent

When Axel heard the knock, he automatically assumed it was Demyx at the door, so he paused his game and opened it immediately. He was half-right - it was a very pale and miserable-looking Demyx, leaning heavily on Zexion. "Um...hi...what's up?"

Zexion steered Demyx over to Axel's shoulder, where he clung weakly like Axel's sleeve was the only thing keeping him off the floor. "He needs someone to look after him for the rest of the day."

Axel slung Demyx's arm around his shoulders, giving him a little more support. "Wow, he didn't look like this at breakfast...what happened?"

Zexion sighed irritably and started reciting as if he was giving an official report. "Approximately fifteen minutes ago, he began complaining of nonspecific lethargy and 'not feeling well' in general. Ten minutes ago, he began complaining of nausea specifically. Five minutes ago, he vomited into the nearest available garbage can."

Axel looked down at Demyx, who had his eyes closed, but looked a little ashamed of himself, not to mention sick as hell. "...I hope, for all our sakes, that you don't have food poisoning." Demyx shrugged weakly. "So...I take it lessons are over for the day?"

"As he's too ill to continue, they must be. Hopefully, they can be continued tomorrow." Zexion nodded once, then disappeared.

Axel looked at Demyx again; he seemed barely able to stand up on his own. "You definitely do not look good...come on; you can stay in my room for a bit so I can keep an eye on you." Demyx nodded weakly, and Axel led him into the room and made him lie down on the bed. "You don't seem to have a fever or anything...wonder what exactly is the matter with you."

"Dunno..." Demyx murmured. He mumbled his thanks when Axel moved his trash can over next to the bed, then apparently fell asleep.

Axel went back to his game, occasionally glancing back to check on Demyx. The first few times he glanced back, Demyx was still sleeping. About forty-five minutes after he arrived, Axel glanced back and saw his eyes were wide open. "Feeling better yet?"

"A little." Demyx made no move to sit up or change position, apparently content to watch Axel play.

"Well, good..." Axel went back to his game, without bothering to glance behind him to make sure Demyx was all right. He did glance back when he heard a rustling, shifting sound, and saw Demyx was now sitting up in bed, propped up on the pillows. "Comfortable?"

Demyx nodded. "Yeah, pretty comfortable." Axel nodded and continued playing. "Little bored, though."

"Want me to get you a book or something?"

"Sure. The one I was reading is on my bedside table. Don't lose the bookmark." Axel paused his game, retrieved the book in question - it was about guitar-playing techniques, big surprise - and went back to his game.

Fifteen minutes later, he glanced up at the clock. "Crap, it's almost lunchtime..." He hastily paused the game and stood up. "Want me to bring you anything, or - wait, yeah, eating is probably not a good idea for you right now."

Demyx wasn't looking nearly so pale as he had earlier - in fact, he was a little flushed, or maybe he was blushing. "Actually...I think I could manage a little food..." Suddenly, his stomach growled. Loudly.

Something clicked in Axel's head. "You weren't really sick at all, were you!" Demyx blushed deeply, but didn't answer. He didn't need to. "So what happened? Zexion give you a pop quiz, and that made you so nervous you got sick to your stomach, he assumed you were sick, period, and you didn't bother to correct him?"

Demyx shook his head, looking at once embarrassed and proud of himself. "I taught myself to throw up on cue."

Now there was an answer Axel hadn't expected. "And...you made yourself puke on purpose just to get out of lessons?" Demyx nodded. "Okaaaay...I've always wondered why anyone would bother teaching themselves how to do that...now I know, and it's a better answer than I expected. Don't do it too often, though, or they might catch on."

"I won't. It's really not all that much fun. Can't do much with your newly-won free time for about an hour afterwards, because you really do feel like shit."

Axel held up a hand. "And there's a valuable life lesson in that. Too bad I'm not exactly sure what it is."

* * *

AN: Why did I write this? Because it's funny.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	33. In which Demyx grows up a little

In the months he'd been with the Organization, Demyx had grown used to comfortable shoes - not too big, not too small, not so worn out they were as much or more hole than shoe. Which is why, when he tried to put his boots on one morning and discovered they were too tight, he assumed he was the victim of a prank. "Axel, you didn't do anything like swap my boots for Zexion's, did you?"

"First, no, second, I thought you two wore the same shoe size, so it wouldn't make a difference if I had, third, why are you even asking?"

"Well, then, whose boots are these?" Demyx asked irritably, still struggling to get them on and comfortable. On he could manage, but comfortable was beyond him; they pinched horribly and hurt too much to walk in.

"My first guess is yours..." Axel finally opened the bathroom door and looked for himself. He had to stifle a laugh.

Demyx was starting to run out of patience, with the boots and with Axel. "Share the joke?"

"Maybe this possibility hasn't occurred to you yet, but I think you just outgrew your shoes."

"..." Demyx forced his boots off, examined them, then examined his feet. "Oh."

"And I think you need a new set of robes too. You have, like, a full inch of wrist sticking out. And your pants look a little short, too, now that I think about it."

"..." Yeah, now that he was actually paying attention, all Demyx's clothing felt tight. "Oh...guess it all shrunk in the wash."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Guess you outgrew it all, doofus."

"Yeah, that's what I meant..." Demyx went and looked in the bathroom mirror; Axel followed him in. "I don't look any bigger," he frowned, comparing their reflections.

Axel ruffled his hair. "Everyone looks short next to me, doofus. Except Lexaeus, I guess." He held one arm out straight; it was about level with the back of Demyx's head. "You know, when you got here, you could have walked under my arm without ducking. Come on; you need new clothes."

Demyx sighed. "That's the fifth set I've gone through in eight months. Not just individual robes, that's five entire wardrobes' worth. What's everyone else gonna think?"

"That you're a growing boy, little brother. It's called adolescence, and it happens to everybody. It's the process by which a boy -"

"I understand the concept, dipshit. Are you going to try to give me 'The Talk' now?"

Axel carefully studied the ceiling. "Sorry. I have no way to accurately judge how much you know or don't know sometimes. Sometimes you seem like a little kid, and out of the blue, I get hit upside the head with something that reminds me that you're not nearly as young and innocent as you look, and you've been through a lot more and a lot worse in life than I have. I'm just over here muddling along as best I can."

Demyx blinked at him in bewilderment - he hadn't expected anything so...insightful, definitely not from Axel's mouth. "Well...despite Zexion's best efforts, I can barely tell a sine from a cotangent. I can't remember anything that's not set to music without having to either set it to music or beat it into my head. The whole concept of exergonic and endergonic processes makes me want to cry. That being said, I can keep myself fed for a week on ten dollars. I can speak two languages with complete fluency. And I know _exactly_ where babies come from, and have for quite a long time. Though I was extremely tempted to tell you I didn't just so I could see you try to struggle through that."

Axel stared at him. "You're cruel, you know that? But you know what I would have said?"

"What?"

"Well, the mommy and the daddy write a letter to the stork, asking for a baby, and the stork -"

Demyx tried to turn around and slug him, but was caught off guard by the sound of a seam splitting. Axel almost fell down laughing.

* * *

AN: Wittle Demy is growing up. And Axel is picking on him, of course.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	34. In which Axel's good advice is ignored

"So...Demyx...just how messed up a world is Fantasia?"

Demyx shook his head, looking a little dazed. "It's...it's...I dunno how to describe it. It's...it's really beautiful, at least in my opinion."

Axel sighed. "I heard it was one of those love-it-or-loathe-it worlds. Guess it's just as well that you seem to love it."

Demyx nodded slowly, his mind clearly elsewhere. "Yeah...I never saw music like that before..."

Axel cleared his throat, not certain he'd heard that right. "Excuse me...saw music?"

"Yeah. Saw music. I couldn't believe it at first, but..." Demyx sighed; there were definitely a few stars in his eyes. "That was incredible."

Axel didn't think it sounded so incredible; it sounded downright freaky to him. But, of course, Demyx was the sort of person who'd be thrilled by something like that. "Well, I'm happy for you...I have to say, I don 't think I'd enjoy it that much myself. I hear the inhabitants are pretty well blissed out all the time."

Demyx shrugged and examined the far wall. "I guess...that's kinda true for some of them..." His hand slowly reached into one of his robe pockets, apparently fingering something small. Something like pills.

Axel grabbed his elbow and yanked his hand out of his pocket. While Demyx struggled, he forced his closed hand open and found two little aqua-green pills clutched in it. "O-kay, what the hell are these? A souvenir of Fantasia?" Demyx just stared, apparently frozen. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Demyx closed his fist around the pills and tried to squirm out of Axel's grip. "Ax - don't worry - leggo - it's nothing bad!" he protested.

Axel only tightened his grip. "Nothing bad - how do you know? Have you taken them before?"

"No..."

"Then how the hell can you know if they're 'nothing bad' or if you're gonna drop dead as soon as you put them in your mouth? Do you even know what the fuck they're supposed to do to you?"

Demyx kept up his efforts to escape. "They're supposed to induce synesthesia...that's where you see sounds as much as you hear them...like music makes you see beautiful colors...it's something some people are born with..."

Axel wasn't impressed. "Some people are born with the IQ of a desk chair. That's something else drugs can give you."

"Ax -"

"Dammit, you spent enough time on the street, you should know what popping random shit can do to you..."

Demyx's face was pale and twisted with pain. "Axel, you're hurting me!"

It took a full second for the message to get through. Once he understood what Demyx was talking about, Axel quickly released his death grip on his arm. Demyx cradled it like it was broken. "Um...sorry about that...but still. Throw those things away, into the first trash can you find. I can't believe you'd even consider something like that."

"Have you ever tried anything like it?"

Axel shook his head. "Never tried anything but alcohol and cigarettes. And I only tried cigarettes once. But - if you've gotta try that shit, at least wait until you're old enough to drink. You're supposed to be able to make intelligent choices by then."

Demyx nodded once, as if he was agreeing to what Axel said, but Axel didn't like the defiant look in his eyes. He turned around and walked away, leaving Axel alone with a feeling of impending doom. _Man, if there was ever a wrong time for you to grow a spine and stand up for yourself...this is it._

* * *

AN: No. Demyx. You know better... (sigh) Or maybe he doesn't yet...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	35. In which Demyx does something truly dumb

Technically, Demyx had done as Axel asked. He'd thrown away the two pills Axel had found in his hand. Axel didn't need to know he'd been given six. And the dosage was only half a pill, so he still had eight doses left.

Besides, they weren't supposed to make his problems go away or make him feel like a god or make sleep and food unnecessary. He wasn't entirely an innocent - he knew about stuff that promised those effects, and he'd seen for himself what they really did. All this little half a pill was supposed to do was let him see music. It wasn't even addictive, and he'd asked carefully about that - and he didn't just ask the guy that gave them to him either. What gave Axel the right to talk? He didn't know what eluchin was, he'd never used it before - hell, he didn't even have the right to pretend he was completely clean himself; he used alcohol and caffeine on a regular basis, and they _were_ addictive!

Well. Taking the half pill didn't produce any immediate effects. Then again, he hadn't really expected it to. He waited patiently for it to take effect...how long had it been so far? It must have been only a few minutes...no, his watch said it had been half an hour...maybe his watch was fast...maybe it wasn't working right...he held it up to his ear and listened.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

With each tick, a little tinge of yellow floated in front of his eyes.

He tapped one finger on the polished marble floor of the Hall of Empty Melodies. A bigger puff of yellow, with a more golden tinge.

Tap. Tap. More puffs of golden yellow.

"Wow." That one word produced vertical silver-blue streaks, almost like a waterfall. "It works." Silver-blue with the barest hints of gold and pink, like sunset on clouds. "It works." A little louder, and the colors a little stronger. "It works!" That was beautiful...

He could have watched his own voice and his finger tapping on the floor all day, but eventually, he remembered what he'd really taken the eluchin to see. He summoned his sitar, with a glittery silver sound. What would the music look like? Like water? Like rain? Like rainbows? He stroked his fingers across the strings, and...nothing happened. He'd forgotten to put the mezrabs on.

Well, duh. Talk about an amateurish error. He'd been too excited to remember. Though, granted, this didn't seem like excitement to him. Well, he didn't have a heart. Maybe he was remembering it wrong.

It took him much longer than usual to put the mezrabs on his fingers; he was fascinated by the sound and sight of himself digging around in his pocket. The first note he played was a beautiful blue-green, like a tropical lagoon, and it mesmerized him. He played it again, louder, and the color grew stronger. The next note was a clearer blue, a summer sky that he hadn't seen in far too long. Then a sky-blue with tinges of purple, like it was close to sunset.

Eluchin was wonderful stuff, he decided.

He kept playing through the entire range of blues, more shades of blue than he had ever thought existed, or could exist, then started adding greens and purples to the music. The beautiful colors and music had him hypnotized. He'd never played anything so beautiful in his life. If Nobodies could get to Heaven, he was as good as there already, in his own private Nirvana of music and light.

How could there possibly be anything bad about this? This was perfection.

"Oh, there you are. Not like that's a surprise."

Demyx fell to the ground in shock and horror - the fires of Hell had suddenly intruded on his personal heaven, in flaming reds and oranges. He tried to summon a burst of water to quench them, but all that provoked was a white-hot scream. "Go away!" he screamed back, and blue-white cracks split the air like lightning.

As the colors faded, he saw Axel standing in the doorway, wiping his wet hair out of his face. "What the hell is the matter with you?" Demyx flinched away from the burning colors. "Oh, God...you're stoned!"

Demyx curled up on the floor, using his body to protect his sitar from the flames. "Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me," he repeated over and over, with the pale shades of a rainy sky.

A low, clear whistle, and a cardinal red. "I told you not to take that shit," and the fires returned. "It has just fucked you up left, right, and center, hasn't it?"

"Don't hurt me," Demyx whimpered, and the rainy-sky color darkened. There was a sigh, accentuated by golden sparks, and despite his struggles, someone picked him up, sitar and all, and set him back on his feet. "Leave me alone..."

"No." One burst of fire that made Demyx duck, and another sigh full of sparks. Fortunately for Demyx's residual sanity, Axel didn't say anything else on the way back to Demyx's room. Once he was back in his bed, though, the clicking camera and its yellow-green spots irritated him a little.

* * *

AN: Ladies and gentlemen...don't do drugs.

Published early for the benefit of the COCA crew.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	36. In which Axel teaches Demyx a lesson

Demyx stirred slightly and whimpered. "Axel, help me..."

Axel was prepared to do just that, but in his own way, not necessarily one that Demyx would appreciate. "I tried. I told you not to take that shit. Once you went ahead and took it anyway, there wasn't a hell of a lot I could do for you at that point."

Demyx paused for an instant, then opened his eyes. "Whaa?..."

Axel crossed his arms and glowered at Demyx. "Congratulations. Your foray into mind-altering substances was not an unqualified success. Let's leave the experimenting to Vexen from here on out, okay?" Demyx groaned. "So, was that little green pill worth taking?" Demyx shook his head miserably - he looked like he had a pounding headache. "Got any of them left?"

Demyx nodded wearily. "In my pocket."

Axel held out a hand. "Give." Demyx didn't hesitate, but he took a while to work his hand under the blanket and into his pocket. He handed Axel three and a half little aqua-green pills. "All right, I'm throwing them away for you this time. I'd burn them just to be sure, but they might produce toxic fumes."

"Muh." Demyx rolled over listlessly, facing away from the wall.

"You're not gonna start puking again, are you?" Axel said in a conversational tone. "Because that fluorescent turquoise stuff you kept heaving last night came this close to making _me_ puke. I'd rather not see any more of that than I already have - I'd rather not have seen what I already have, truly."

Demyx's eyes widened. "...The fuck are you talkin' about?" he asked, his face a little green. "I don't remember that..."

"Do you remember anything about last night in great detail?" Demyx shook his head. "Not even the great sex we had?" Axel had to move fast to keep Demyx's hands away from his neck. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I'm just messing with you! We did not have sex, and you did not puke turquoise goop! Please don't strangle me!"

Demyx abandoned his efforts to choke Axel to death and flopped back, clutching his head. "What the fuck would you even joke about that for?" he mumbled.

"To make a point. Because we _could_ have had sex, and you _could_ have been puking neon turquoise goop, and you wouldn't know about it. You can do things while you're drunk or otherwise intoxicated that you would never, ever do or allow while you were sober. That sort of shit happens, got it memorized? Trust me. I've been there."

Demyx groaned. "Remind me, I have to kill you for that sometime."

"What if I said I was sorry?"

"Then you can remind me later."

"Later - how does ninety years later sound?"

Demyx buried his face in his pillow and pulled the blankets up. "My head feels like it's gonna implode."

"So whatever you took causes hangovers. Another excellent reason not to take it in the future."

"Ax..."

"In addition to the fact that it causes dementia, psychosis, hallucinations, atypical violent behavior, generalized stupidity, erases your memories -"

"Ax, I think I kind of figured all that out for myself, thank you kindly. And every time you open your mouth, my head hurts more."

"Just making sure you got the message..."

Demyx rolled over to face the wall. "I get. The damn. Message. Got it memorized? Now take those pills and get rid of them. I wanna sleep."

Axel paused, with his mouth hanging open. "You just...used my line...?"

A few seconds later, he was chased out of the room by a water clone.

* * *

AN: ...Soo...let's see how much of the usual barrage of "Poor Demy"s is replaced by "Demyx, you idiot!"s. Demyx, you idiot, he told you not to take it!

And Axel: Neon turquoise goop? o.O Where did _that_ come from?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	37. In which Demyx is cranky

At least his head felt better. His stomach felt like it hadn't had anything in it for days, though.

Demyx reached up to brush the hair out of his face and found a sticky note on his forehead. Peeling it off, he found a short message from Axel: _Remind me - thank Zexion for camera loan, and fast film devel. Check wall._

What the hell was Axel talking about? Check wall? First he checked the clock - 1:46. He squinted and saw the little PM indicator light was indeed on - he'd slept right through breakfast and lunch both.

Okay. So much for eluchin. Apparently it wasn't as harmless as made out to be. He barely remembered yesterday.

He rolled over and saw the wall, or more specifically the series of photographs on it. All of them were of him, with a pale face, disturbingly red eyes, and hugely dilated pupils, sometimes watching or reaching for something invisible, sometimes crying or grinning for no obvious reason, sometimes just staring blankly at the camera. Shit, Axel must have taken them when he was still high. He'd probably distributed them to the entire Organization by now. Feeling more than a little sick, Demyx wrote a little mental note to himself: _Remind me - kill Axel at earliest opportunity. Destroy evidence._

Well, so much for this happy little sojourn. As much as it could be happy, if none of them had hearts. As he should have expected, Axel had taken his first major indiscretion - well, besides the D.C. thing, but that wasn't as bad as this - and used the opportunity to humiliate him. Just like all Demyx's other "friends". But the past nine months had been nice while they lasted.

Or maybe, just maybe, Axel had taken those pictures for Demyx's "benefit" alone, and wasn't using them to humiliate him before the entire rest of the Organization. _Not likely_, most of the rest of Demyx's brain said, but one little corner mentioned that once upon a time, that possibility would never have crossed his mind and he should at least give Axel the benefit of the doubt. He had told him _not_ to take it, after all.

Fuck, why had he? Why had he taken that particular moment and that indescribably stupid action to decide he could make his own decisions thank you very much? Why hadn't he listened to Axel and thrown all the pills away?

_Well, whatever other damage the eluchin might have caused, at least my ability to make the stupidest possible choice out of all choices available is intact._

The door creaked open. "So, feeling proud of yourself?"

"I dunno, Ax..." Demyx murmured bitterly. "Do I look proud of myself?"

Pause. "I gotta say no. You don't. You still look like shit, in fact."

"Thanks. Thanks a fucking ton." Demyx buried his head under the covers - he was in no mood to talk to anyone, especially not Axel.

"You feeling any better? Hungry at all? Because you haven't eaten in almost three days."

Demyx was about to deny it, just to get Axel out of his room, but when he mentioned he'd been fasting for three days, his stomach growled loudly. "Three...days? It's been that long?"

Axel nodded. "The first day you spent stoned, the second day you spent sleeping, and this is the third day."

Demyx groaned. "Holy shit...so, how'd the rest of the Organization like those pictures?" he asked pointedly.

Axel blinked, looking surprised. "Zexion's the only other one who's seen them, and that's because he's the one who developed the film. I guess, if he wanted to, he could have made copies...but _I_ haven't shown them to anyone else."

"Then why'd you even take them?"

"So I could show _you_ exactly what a mess you'd made of yourself." Axel took down one of the pictures and examined it. "Yeah, your eyes were seriously Freaky with a capital F. And you went bonkers whenever I said anything - you hosed me down the first time. And all I said was something like 'oh, there you are'."

Demyx groaned and curled up into a ball - what little he remembered was beautiful blues and greens and music, then fire he couldn't quench. "I...I don't remember..."

Axel ruffled his hair - a friendlier gesture than Demyx had been expecting. "I'm not surprised. Just - don't take that shit again, got it memorized? I already threw the other pills out; if you ever get any more, don't take 'em." Demyx nodded wearily. There was a sudden knock at the door, and Axel went to check the peephole. "It's Xigbar. I better answer it, or he's just gonna walk in here," he muttered as he opened the door.

"Good, now I can catch you too...you dudes need to report to the meeting room."

Axel sighed irritably. "Um...we have kind of a...situation here..."

Xigbar looked around Axel at Demyx. "Well, if your situation is well enough to get out of bed, there's an emergency meeting."

* * *

AN: Congratulations, Demyx, you're a situation.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	38. Which is the bomb

Well, talk about a surprise turn of events. He'd been lecturing Demyx about drug use one minute, and an hour later, the two of them were off with Xigbar on a mission to find Number Ten. Initially, Axel had been enthused at the prospect of returning to Earth - specifically, to Las Vegas - but when he got there, he'd immediately noticed a few very key differences from the Las Vegas he knew of, such as the lush tropical location, and the fact that it seemed to be the site of a massive gang war.

"This isn't exactly your Earth, dude," Xigbar had told him when asked. "The idea of a gambler's paradise named Las Vegas is pretty popular throughout the worlds. There's a bunch of 'em. Just remember, if a bomb goes off, run away from it, not towards it."

Well, if that wasn't the most obvious piece of advice ever.

The three of them were sticking close together, much to Demyx's all-too-obvious relief. It just seemed safer that way. They hadn't seen any bombs yet, but they'd heard gunfire, in the distance, even though they were sticking to the glitzier districts. Axel was starting to wonder if maybe the new guy wouldn't get killed before they found him - or if the three of them might be killed just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time - when something or someone outside a glamorous hotel caught his eye.

Xigbar noticed him craning his neck for a better look. "See something interesting, dude?"

"Yeah..." Axel squinted. "I think that might be the guy we're looking for. Outside that hotel. Oh, he just went inside - in his thirties, I guess, five-ten or so, blond hair, think he has a goatee."

"All right, I'll go check it out...so far, haven't heard anything that doesn't sound like the guy we're looking for...you dudes stay here. Keep an eye out for trouble, and if you find it, don't try to be heroes. Just save your own asses." Axel nodded, and Xigbar strolled casually into the hotel, looking for all the world like he wasn't looking for anyone or anything but a room and a night on the town.

"You've been pretty quiet thus far," Axel told Demyx when Xigbar had gone inside.

Demyx shrugged, staring into the deep artificial pool, complete with elaborate fountain, outside the hotel. "Haven't had a lot to say or any reason to say it, I guess."

Axel shrugged and leaned against a marble pillar - on closer examination, it turned out to be just concrete. "I guess that's a valid reason to not say anything. Doesn't stop a lot of people I know, though."

"I hope the guy you saw is the guy we're looking for - I want to get out of here. I hate this place," Demyx said without warning.

Axel blinked and stood up straighter. "O-kay...what brought that on?"

Demyx bit his lip. "All this glitter and glamor...but there's so much violence behind it...and everyone's pretending there's nothing wrong, that's fireworks not bombs, those are cars backfiring not gunshots, have a martini and place your bets. It scares the hell out of me."

Axel thought about that, then nodded, taking a few steps away from the pillar. "Good point. This place is a big facade, and now that you point it out, it's creepy as hell to me too. All these shiny happy people walking around pretending there's nothing wrong in the worlds except maybe a bad bet or a hangover, when they could get blown up at any time."

"Don't say that, Ax...it's not helping..."

"What? What?"

In the next instant, the world exploded.

"I didn't do it," was the first thing Axel said when he came to.

The woman in the EMS uniform looked at him oddly. "I certainly hope you didn't," she said. "How do you feel? Do you think you have any broken bones?"

Axel groaned. "I feel sore as all hell...but I don't think anything's broken...what the fuck was that?"

"A bomb," the woman said grimly.

Axel sat up unsteadily, wiping blood and grime out of his face. "Ugh...fuck, that hurts...where's Demyx?"

"Who's Demyx?"

He should have expected that answer. "My brother...he'd been standing right there by the pool..." He stood up, struggling not to simply pass out again, and staggered over to the edge of the pool. The surface was covered with debris, and the pool was full of wreckage, but under what had been part of the roof and one of the pillars they'd been standing by, he could see a small gloved hand, and a head of dingy blond hair... "Shit - he's trapped down there! We gotta get him out -"

The woman shook her head sadly. "Not worth the effort, by now."

"Not worth the - _what?!_"

"He'll have been down there for ten minutes by now. It takes four minutes to drown."

"But can't you -"

She shook her head again. "I don't like it either, but the cold, ugly truth is, we have to focus on the people we can save. If someone we could have saved dies while we were wasting our energy trying to save someone we couldn't..." She didn't have to finish the sentence for Axel to understand what she meant. "I'm so sorry. I really am."

Axel shook his head furiously - Demyx hadn't drowned; he couldn't drown. He was a water elementalist; how could water kill him? And besides, he was still down there - if he was dead, his body would have faded by now...but he was so, so still...so still...

He looked around wildly - surely the blast would have been heard inside the hotel. Surely everyone's attention would have been drawn to it...surely they would have come to investigate. "Xigbar?" he called hopefully. Maybe, just maybe, the Freeshooter would have realized they were in the blast zone. "Xigbar!" No response, and no sign of the one-eyed gunman. Axel stared helplessly at what little he could see of Demyx, submerged under the rubble. He had to get him out of there, somehow...but the last time Axel went swimming was six years ago at his friends' insistence. It wasn't that he was afraid of water, he just didn't like it.

But if no one else would...

He took a deep breath, all the air he could fit in his lungs, and jumped in feetfirst. If there was anything in his way that he couldn't see down there, he didn't want to break his skull open on it. He had to keep his eyes and his head clear, if he wanted to stand an actual chance...hell, he was just tall enough to keep breathing with his feet on the bottom. Maybe this would be easier than he'd thought at first. But he'd have to submerge in order to free Demyx from the rubble and get him back to the surface...and as long as he had this lungful of air anyway, he might as well...

Axel quickly remembered how much he hated being underwater. Even when all he had to do was stand up straight to breathe. It was the intense wetness, and clamminess, and a deep coldness that nothing else caused, that meant he was shut off from his powers...

The concrete pillar wasn't such a trial as he'd feared. It had Demyx pinned but not crushed - all he had to do was roll it away, as long as the adrenaline was masking how much everything hurt. Not like that was easy. The remains of the heavy roof was a struggle to lift off Demyx's back, though...that was holding him down with all its weight...Axel's lungs were starting to burn now, but if he dropped this, he could hurt Demyx even worse...it'd fall right across his back again, and maybe snap his spine...maybe it had already...maybe he was already dead...Kingdom Hearts, if he didn't get air soon...hell, if Axel didn't get air soon, he'd drown too...fuck, this shit was so heavy...shit, he had it far enough off that Demyx could move, but he was unconscious, Axel would have to drag him out of there somehow without dropping the remains of the roof...impossible...he had to surface, he had to breathe...he couldn't leave Demyx down here...if Demyx didn't come around soon, say, right now, they'd both die...but Axel couldn't give up...

All of a sudden, Demyx's eyes popped open, and he rolled out from under the remains of the roof bare seconds before Axel couldn't hold it up anymore and had to drop it. Axel stood up quickly, gasping for breath, and Demyx popped up a few seconds later. At first, he didn't seem to have suffered at all for being pinned underwater for several minutes; he wasn't even breathing heavily. Axel reconsidered that conclusion as Demyx groaned and slid back underwater.

He caught him quickly and lifted him back to the surface. "You scared the shit out of me, I hope you know." Suddenly, a strange pair of hands grabbed Demyx's shoulders and lifted him out of the water; a moment later, someone else hauled Axel back to dry land.

"Slick, dudes. Real slick. Talk about scaring the shit out of people." Axel twisted around to look up at Xigbar, who nodded at the blond man who was still holding Demyx by the shoulders. "Axel, meet Lourd Smythe, aka the new guy. Lourd, this is Axel, and the drowned rat you've got there is Demyx. We'd better get out of here while no one is paying attention to us."

The blond man frowned. "Shouldn't we take them to a hospital?" he asked with a definite British accent.

"As if. Think for a second, dude - if the hospital got in a couple live patients with no pulses, how would they react? Vexen should be able to take care of 'em." Xigbar gestured, and Lourd stared in frank astonishment at the portal that opened. "Get through there quick, before anyone sees it. Take him along."

* * *

AN: Ta da.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	39. Which is much less chaotic

"It's nice to be back in my own room," Demyx mused idly.

Axel ruffled his hair affectionately - he'd escaped the blast with only cuts and bruises, where Demyx had bruised ribs and a dislocated shoulder and had spent a couple days in the hospital wing while Vexen made sure he didn't have any worse injuries, especially spinal injuries. "Nice to see you back. How's your chest?"

"Sore as hell. Especially when I cough, breathe, or move the wrong way." Demyx pressed his good hand to his injured ribs, trying to ease the pain a little - every so often, especially when he moved wrong, the pain was almost enough to knock him flat. Before that could happen, he lay down on the bed - on his injured side, per Vexen's instructions, which not only intensified the pain but left him facing the wall. Vexen was right, though - it was a little easier to breathe deeper like that, and kept his injured shoulder elevated. "Sorry - I'm not being unsociable, just this is what Vexen told me to do." He took a deep breath - also per Vexen's instructions, to help prevent pneumonia - and almost blacked out from the pain. He didn't want to think how much it would hurt if they were broken.

"Ouch." Axel reached over and lightly stroked his forehead. "That looked like it hurt."

"It did," Demyx groaned. He focused with difficulty on Axel's bandaged hand. "How are you doing?"

Axel shrugged. "Sore and stiff all over, but other than that, functional. Nothing a couple aspirin can't take care of. I shudder to think what potent knockout drugs Vexen has you on, though."

"Ice and Tylenol. Speaking of which, I could use a couple."

"...Just Tylenol? Not Tylenol 3 or anything super-powerful like that?"

Demyx groaned. "Even if he offered it, I wouldn't take it." It was still much too soon after the eluchin incident - Demyx wasn't inclined to start taking any more powerful drugs, even if they were the only things that would let him breathe and move comfortably.

Axel made a little _pfft_ noise. "You're braver than I would be."

"Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"Tylenol. I need some."

"...Right." Demyx listened while Axel rummaged around his desk for the pill bottle. "You know, your desk is almost as messy as mine...here we go." He handed Demyx two little pills; Demyx didn't need a glass of water to wash them down with. "...I was going to say something else, but I forgot what."

"Were you going to offer to clean my room while I'm incapacitated?"

"...To quote Xigbar, as if. No, I have no idea what it was now, sorry."

Demyx rolled his eyes. "Maybe next time, you should get it memorized."

"...Okay, I guess you don't need codeine, if you're still whole enough to be a wise-ass." Demyx heard the pill bottle rattling again, and presumed that Axel was seeking some pain relief himself. "Oh, I think I remember now - I was gonna say that it's a good thing Luxord's element is going to be so useful, considering what a pain in the ass it was to go find him."

Demyx half-rolled over, but stopped when his ribs starting protesting again. "Luxord? Is that the new guy's new name?" Axel nodded. "What's his element?"

"You don't know yet?"

"Obviously not, or I wouldn't have asked..."

Axel smirked. "I think I'm just not gonna tell you. You can find out for yourself." There was a knock at the door, and Axel checked the peephole. "It's Zexion, and he's carrying a lot of books. I'm getting out of here."

"Axel, you -" Too late. The redhead had disappeared with remarkable speed for a wounded man.

* * *

AN: Too late, I used up all my creativity on the actual chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	40. In which Axel complains about medication

Axel sighed irritably. "You know, most one-day missions, we just get the assignment the day of, get whatever supplies we need if any, go out, do the mission, come home. What's so special about the Pride Lands?"

The steady flow of sitar music from next door hesitated. "...What brought that on?"

"Have you ever gone on a mission where they started making you take medication for two weeks before you left, that you're supposed to keep taking for a month after you get back?"

Axel looked into Demyx's room to see his reaction - stunned. "...If I had, I'm sure you'd have heard about it - what the hell are you talking about? Are they actually making you take medication for two weeks before sending you on this mission?"

"Yes!" Axel snarled in frustration, then grabbed the prescription bottle Vexen had given him. "Do you know what Lariam is?" he asked Demyx, holding up the bottle for him to look at. "I'm supposed to be taking one of these at the exact same time each day - does that seem even vaguely reasonable to you?"

Demyx took the bottle and examined it thoughtfully. "Yes...I know exactly what Lariam is and what it's for...and yes, it seems perfectly reasonable to me to make you take it two weeks ahead of the mission - where did you say you were going that you had to take this for?"

"..." Axel could barely believe his ears - Demyx thought that was reasonable? "The Pride Lands..."

"Yeah. That's like, um, sub-Saharan Africa, I think...so yeah. Lariam is perfectly reasonable."

Axel shook his head in frustration. "All right, before my head explodes, tell me...exactly what the fuck is Lariam and what the hell is it supposed to do?"

Demyx regarded him levelly, with faint amusement. "It's a malaria prevention pill."

"..." All the wind went straight out of Axel's sails. "A...malaria prevention pill?"

Demyx nodded. "Yes. And you need to start taking it two weeks ahead of time so it's at full effect when you actually get to the malaria zone. And I guess you take it at the same time each day so you always have some in your system - if the protection lapsed for just one minute, and a malaria mosquito bit you in that minute - boom, you're infected."

Axel was only irritated even more by Demyx's apparent knowledge of the subject. "I'm only gonna be there one freakin' day!"

Demyx raised an eyebrow with faint amusement. "Oh, that's plenty long enough for a malaria mosquito to bite you. It's long enough for dozens of malaria mosquitos to bite you."

Demyx's uncharacteristically cool logic was robbing Axel of his righteous indignation. "Look," he sputtered, trying to salvage some of that unusual emotion, "how the fuck did you get to be an expert on the subject? Did Zexion teach you all this shit?"

"At my request, yeah."

"...At your...request?! Why the fuck would you request him to teach you that shit?"

Demyx's faint amusement disappeared and was replaced by pure coolness. "Axel?"

This sudden mood change wasn't a good sign. "What?"

"I had malaria once. And it damn near killed me. In fact, I'm not sure why it didn't - it must have been only pure luck that kept me alive. And if I'd had access to decent medical care, including stuff like Lariam, I might never have had it."

And the righteous indignation was gone in a flash, replaced by...hmm...profound embarrassment and a keen desire to leave the area. "Oh...um..."

Demyx handed back the bottle of Lariam. "Malaria sucks. Just trust me on that."

* * *

AN: Blame Dan DeRegnier. AKA my parasitology teacher. Apparently the Pride Lands is a malaria zone.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	41. In which Demyx learns something new

Demyx had a remarkably good feeling about this mission, though he usually hated missions that involved going anywhere near a war zone. It was the kind of mission he liked best - where his job was just to charm people into or out of whatever he needed, as opposed to having to steal it or fight for it. Luxord's presence helped a ton, he had to admit. Sure, Demyx sitting on the bench playing outside the bar had lured the soldiers in, but Luxord's charm, not to mention his willingness to buy drinks and play cards all week if the patrol was up to it, had not only kept them there more than long enough for Axel, Xigbar, and Xaldin to get past where they should have been patrolling without getting caught, but won them both safe-conduct passes for the trip back, not to mention a fair amount of munny. Demyx still wasn't sure just what Luxord's element was, but he was starting to think it was luck. Now all the two of them had to do was get out of the conquered town, go home, and wish the other three luck.

Well, that was how the plan had started out. And then they'd walked back into the patrol they'd been assigned to distract. Demyx had been thrown for a loop, but Luxord seemed to take it in stride. "Good evening, gentlemen...what a coincidence, running into you again..."

The enraged and somewhat intoxicated sergeant in charge of the patrol glared at him. "Coincidence my arse. We were looking for you."

Now that threw Luxord for a bit of a loop. "Is that so," he asked hesitantly. Demyx no longer had such a good feeling about the mission.

The sergeant nodded nastily, and the rest of the patrol closed in. "Let's have the money back, cheat."

Demyx would have liked to disappear right about then. Instead, he let Luxord do the talking and tried to pretend he wasn't there. Luxord looked surprised and slightly indignant, which was probably not really the right response. "Are you accusing me of cheating?"

"Accusin', hell, we know you did. Give the money back." Demyx wasn't sure how much munny Luxord had won over the course of the evening, but judging from the expressions on the soldiers' faces, he'd taken some from everyone.

"Look, if you have any concrete reason to believe there was anything other than mere chance at work -"

One of the soldiers, bolder and substantially drunker than the rest, drew his pistol, probably to try to intimidate Luxord. He was so drunk that he didn't just intimidate them with his pistol; he fired it by accident. And he didn't hit Luxord.

Demyx pressed a hand over the hole in his chest and watched with vague interest as blood flowed out between his fingers. He coughed weakly, and tasted more blood on his lips. "So that's it, then?" he murmured weakly as the world started to go white, then black; he knew he should be panicking, or at least upset, but he felt remarkably calm, even if that was only his lack of a heart. Besides, even if he did have a heart, panicking wouldn't do a thing to get the bullet out or save him from bleeding to death. Better to go with whatever dignity he might have. It didn't hurt as much as he would have expected, and he wondered if Nobodies had a next life or an afterlife.

All that crossed his mind in approximately five seconds. Luxord looked down at him with wide eyes, realizing what had happened. "Oh, bloody hell," he muttered, and suddenly...everything seemed to go backwards, like a movie being rewound. Before Demyx could figure out what was going on, he and Luxord were alone in the street, and he had an intense feeling of deja vu - from right before they'd run into the soldiers. Luxord grabbed his elbow and hastily steered him down a different alley than they'd gone down the first time, and they hid behind a rain barrel until they heard the patrol pass by and fade into the distance. "Time to make ourselves scarce before they come back this way," he muttered.

Demyx felt his chest, and couldn't find a bullet hole. There was no taste of blood in his mouth, either. "Wow...okay...now that I'm not going to bleed to death...what just happened? Besides the soldiers hunting you down and accusing you of cheating? I mean right after I got shot."

"Just rewound a few minutes, to before all that...unpleasantness." Demyx nodded and opened a portal home - sure, they'd never be seen leaving the city, and the soldiers would probably keep hunting for them for a long, long time as long as they were still supposed to be in there, but it wasn't worth another bullet in the chest just to keep their covers intact. And he technically outranked Luxord, even though the gambler was over twice his age, so he had the authority to decide that.

Well, now he knew what Luxord's element was. He had to remember to hassle Axel about that.

* * *

AN: (la la la la la la la la...)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	42. Which is unnecessarily violent

That had gone well. A little too well.

Whatever decoy or distraction Demyx and Luxord had made had worked perfectly; Axel, Xigbar, and Xaldin hadn't run into a single patrol en route to the palace. Once inside, they'd dodged all the palace guards without too much trouble, found whatever books and scrolls they were supposed to get, met Zexion and handed them over, and made their way out of the palace. So far, the only complication they'd met in the whole complicated mission was the pouring rain that met them outside the palace. And to Xigbar and Xaldin, it wasn't even that much of a complication. Axel, however, would have to find someplace sheltered, wait for the rain to end, or catch up with one of the others to get home. The downpour was so strong it was blocking his powers.

_Maybe we shouldn't have split up,_ he thought. Then he thought _This was too easy. I wonder if we'll get home and find out Demyx and Luxord were murdered in an ambush._ The thought sent bigger chills up his spine than the rain alone. He wasn't sure about Luxord yet - he'd only been there for six weeks so far, and Axel still didn't know him all that well - but the idea of never seeing Demyx again made him feel cold and sick. He shook himself - no point in disturbing himself with unpleasant thoughts, there was no reason to think anything bad had happened to the decoys - and suddenly realized that while he was woolgathering, he'd been surrounded by soldiers, most of whom looked drunk and all of whom looked out for violence.

_We definitely shouldn't have split up._

"'Ey...you're dressed like those other bastards..." Oh, no...had Xigbar and Xaldin been caught? Or were they talking about Demyx and Luxord? Or had all four of the others been caught? He knew Zexion had made it back with the books and scrolls already, but... "So...where's your card-cheat friend?"

Oh...he must be talking about Luxord...and if they were looking for him, that must mean they hadn't caught him yet, which probably meant they hadn't caught Demyx either... Axel shook his head. "I don't know who you're talking about. What do you mean?"

He should have made something up. The soldiers clearly weren't impressed by his pretend innocence. "I think y'know damn well who we mean...that blond card-cheat and his little minstrel friend...where are they?"

"I told you, I don't know who you're talking about..." Axel backed towards the nearest door - if he could just get inside, and stay there long enough to dry out some, he'd be able to use his powers again, and then the soldiers would have a Situation on their hands if there ever was one...

He had a hand on the door handle when two soldiers suddenly grabbed his arms and threw him to the ground. "Where are they?!" their leader roared at him.

"Where are who?" Axel protested uselessly.

A muddy boot thudded into his side before he could get up. "Who d'ya think, you red-headed idiot?"

Axel quickly pulled himself to his feet, and was viciously shoved back to the ground. Something snapped in his arm when he tried to catch himself, bringing with it incredible pain. "Dammit - I - don't - know -" he hissed, rolling over and cradling his injured arm.

A soldier grabbed him by the collar and punched him in the jaw, leaving an aftertaste of blood. Axel probed gingerly with his tongue - the impact had knocked a tooth loose. "Well, let's try to help you remember!"

"But - I -" The next fist, this one in his eye, cut him off. When he tried to pick himself up, another soldier planted a foot on his chest and shoved him back to the ground, cracking his head against the cobblestones. "I don't - _unh!_" The boot slammed into his rib cage, and something else snapped. Breathing was suddenly painful.

There was nothing to remember - he didn't know where Demyx and Luxord were. They were supposed to have returned to the castle by now. But under a steady barrage of fists and boots, Axel couldn't even catch his breath long enough to defend himself, much less protest. All he could do was try to protect his head and wait for the savage beating to end.

_I knew things were going too well... _he thought as the world went dark.

* * *

AN: Dedicated to the girl whose "friends" beat the shit out of her and videotaped it. I hope her "friends" are all tried as adults and spend what should have been the best years of their lives BEHIND BARS WHERE THEY BELONG.

Sure, the obvious story for that would have involved violentdrunk!Axel. But...nah.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	43. In which Demyx worries a great deal

It was 1:00 in the morning. Every muscle and nerve in Demyx's body was begging for sleep. But as long as Axel was MIA, he didn't dare close his eyes, even long enough to blink. He had to stay awake until Axel was found. He'd tried to force himself to relax, briefly, but he'd almost put himself to sleep, and he didn't dare sleep, so he was still tense as all hell, but at least he was awake.

When someone knocked on the door, he didn't even bother to check the peephole; he just yanked the door open. To his disappointment, he found not Axel, but a remarkably grave Luxord. "They've found him," was all the Gambler said.

"Found him - where? Where is he? How is he?" _Please, don't let him be badly hurt...or worse..._

"Follow me."

Demyx hurried down the hallway after Luxord, ignoring how exhaustion was making his feet stumble. They wound up in Xemnas's front office, where everyone was supposed to go first after completing a mission - Demyx usually portaled to the hallway outside, sometimes well outside, instead of to the room itself, which wasn't uncommon practice. Normally it was just Xemnas and one other person in there at a time; now, most of the Organization was there. All their attention was focused on Axel, who was leaning heavily on Xaldin while Xigbar was trying to explain to the Superior what had happened. Axel looked like he'd gone through a boxing match with a bear; his face was a bruised, bloody mess, one arm was obviously broken, and he looked like he was having trouble breathing. Demyx squeezed between Saix and Lexaeus and raced over to him. "Axel...oh, no...what happened? Are you gonna be okay?"

Axel smiled lopsidedly, missing a couple teeth, and tried to give him a hug, but his broken arm stopped him. "I think so...sooner or later...agh...maybe later..." He looked up and saw Luxord in the doorway. "You...how damn much money did you win off those damn soldiers?"

Luxord blinked in surprise, then groaned. "Don't tell me you had a run-in with them?"

"They beat the shit out of me trying to get me to tell them where you were...you owe me a couple teeth...fuck, that hurts...damn..." He sank into the nearest chair, pressing a hand to his side. Demyx hugged him gingerly. "Ah...don't you worry...I'll live..."

"I hope so," Demyx murmured wearily. He was crying, without being aware of it.

"Aw." Axel ruffled his hair with his good hand. "You know, you're so cute when you're all worried like that."

Demyx blinked at that, then shook his head. "Why didn't you fight back?"

Axel sighed. "It was raining buckets by then. I tried to get inside and dry off, but they all just ganged up on me..." He pressed his hand to his side again. "Ah, Kingdom Hearts, that's painful."

Demyx hugged him again. "Poor Ax..." He suddenly yawned. "Sorry."

Vexen forced his way in, wearing a bathrobe, obviously having just been forced out of bed. "Out of the way, everyone...Nine, that includes you..." Demyx backed off reluctantly while Vexen examined Axel. "To the hospital wing with you, Eight. Alone." He hauled Axel to his feet, opened a portal, and disappeared with him, leaving the rest of the Organization standing in the office like a pack of idiots. Demyx went back to his room, intending to get a little sleep, but he stayed wide awake all night.

* * *

AN: Owchy. Luxord's winnings will be used to pay for Axel's dental work. I suspect that by the time Fori joined, very few of the Organization members still had all their original teeth.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	44. In which Axel is high on Percocet

It was kind of nice to have a personal servant, day and night, Axel decided. But not really nice enough to make it worth getting thrashed to within an inch of his life to get one. Well, if he had to get beaten to a pulp, it was certainly nice to have someone wait on him hand-and-foot afterwards. It wasn't like he could take care of himself too well.

Boy, did it still hurt to breathe. He fished another dose out of the bottle of painkillers, but the glass of water he'd been using to wash the pills down with was empty. All he had to do was clear his throat, and it was full again. "Thanks, Demyx," he murmured before swallowing the pills - it always paid to be nice to the servants. Especially when they were just helping you out of the goodness of their absent hearts and didn't really have to give you the time of day if they didn't want to.

_If Demyx caught me thinking about him as a personal servant, he'd...laugh and forgive me._

"You're welcome," Demyx said. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Nah...yeah. Put a movie in."

Demyx nodded and went right over to Axel's movie collection. "Which one?"

"Any we haven't seen in a while...jus' pick one."

"All right." Demyx picked a movie at random - like most of Axel's movies, it featured martial arts, senseless violence, gratuitous explosions, gorgeous women in not a hell of a lot of clothing, and men who looked good in tight T-shirts - and put it in to play. Then he scooted back to his original position, seated on the floor by the head of Axel's bed. "Sorry if it looks familiar - I don't think it's one we've seen lately, but it didn't look familiar just from the back blurb."

Axel shrugged listlessly. "Doesn't make much of a difference."

"Cool." Demyx sat quietly, in case Axel needed anything else, and Axel watched the movie. Well, he watched the movie as it drifted in and out of focus; the painkillers were messing with his mind a little. He didn't pay a bit of attention to the plot, such as it was; he just watched the explosions and fighting and attractive people when he could focus well enough to see the screen. When he blinked and realized the credits were rolling, it didn't faze him overmuch.

"'Ey, Dems...movie's over...Dems?" No answer. Considering how attentive and eager to serve Demyx had been lately, this lapse seemed odd, to say the least. "Dems? You 'wake?" Axel looked over the edge of the bed, with difficulty; Demyx was still sitting there quietly, apparently watching the screen, even though there was no longer anything there worth watching. "Dems?"

Axel reached down with his good hand and shook Demyx's shoulder; he jerked suddenly and stood up, his pale face flushing slightly. "Oh...uh...sorry, Ax...guess I just dozed off for a few seconds there..."

Axel motioned him closer. "Oh...you all right? C'mere..." Demyx obediently leaned down, and Axel felt his forehead. "Huh...don't got a fever..." Demyx flushed a little more. "Your face is turnin' red...y'feel all right?"

"Better than you do, I bet..." Demyx's face kept getting redder for some reason. "I'm fine. I just dozed off for a little bit."

"Y'sure? Y'don' look so good..."

"I'm fine, I swear...sure, maybe I'm a _little_ delicate, but I'm not sick _all_ the time...you're the one you should be worrying about right now..."

"Y'been sleepin' all right?"

The question seemed to take Demyx by surprise. "Um...I...guess I haven't been sleeping quite as much as I used to...but that's because I've been taking care of you all the time. I don't have insomnia or anything. Duh, I was just taking a nap." He yawned suddenly. "Oh, sorry."

"Gessome sleep, doofus."

Demyx looked helpless. "But what if you need something while I'm sleeping?"

Axel shrugged. "I'mma sleep too."

Demyx stared at him like he wasn't sure Axel was in his right mind, then shrugged, apparently finding nothing to argue with. He went back to his room, and reappeared a few moments later with a couple of the pillows he sat on to play sitar. While Axel watched with mild, painkiller-blunted interest, he dropped the pillows and lay down on Axel's floor. "All right, then...wake me up when you do." He must have been more sleep-deprived than he'd been letting on, because as far as Axel could tell, he was out within two minutes. Axel shrugged, lay back, and drifted off in a painkiller haze.


	45. In which Demyx has good news

Heart or no heart, Demyx was afraid he was going to burst from excitement before he could break the news to Axel. But he couldn't tell him right away - he had to wait for just the right opening, to maximize effect. He had to try to conceal his enthusiasm. He shook himself out, trying to relax a little, before opening Axel's door. "Hello, Ax."

Axel, who was sitting on the edge of his bed watching a movie - with some attention and interest, this time - turned and looked at him without that glazed-over look the painkillers always gave him. "Morning, Demyx...you look unusually cheery about something."

"Oh, um..." Oops. Not good enough. He still looked too excited. "I got a violin!" True, and he didn't think he'd told Axel about that either.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "A violin? What happened to your guitar and lessons?"

"I finished them. My teacher said I was almost ready to start teaching her." He'd barely believed his ears when he heard that, and it was all he could do not to burst out laughing when his teacher openly admired his ability to play from the heart. For some reason, whenever he remembered that, he started getting this funny warm feeling in the middle of his chest.

Axel just looked mildly amused. "I should have guessed it was because you'd picked up a new instrument. You're obsessed, aren't you?"

"Hey, I've spent every free moment for the past month waiting on you hand and foot; the least you could do is tolerate my interest!" Demyx quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. He'd never snapped at Axel like that before, at least not when he was healthy and in full control of his actions, and he wanted to take the words back as soon as he said them.

Axel laughed - softly and strained; his broken ribs were still causing him a great deal of pain, and laughing out loud would have left him in agony. "Oh, calm down. You have a good point - and you've earned the right to bite my head off, frankly. Hell, if I talked to you like that, you'd apologize for getting me irritated!" Demyx blushed and chuckled softly - it was true. "See? You admit it." Axel laughed a little harder, then clutched at his ribs and groaned. "Shit...gotta remember, can't do that anymore. Not until my ribs are all healed up. Kingdom Hearts, that hurts..."

"I'm sorry, Ax," Demyx murmured softly.

Axel waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, don't be. You didn't get together with a bunch of your friends, get drunk, and decide it would be great fun to beat the shit out of me. Though - next time you're working a decoy with Luxord, don't let him win so much money off of whoever you're trying to decoy, got it memorized? Gets 'em mad."

Demyx sighed. He hated seeing Axel like this - only the second person in his existence he thought he could rely on completely, disabled, helpless, unable to even dress himself comfortably or easily, with broken ribs and an arm in a cast. "At least you'll be all right soon..."

Axel reached over with his good hand and ruffled his hair gently. "Who are you trying to reassure, me or yourself?" He groaned and lay down. "What's really eating at me is I have no idea whether all those books and scrolls we got are actually going to be of some material help, or whether I went through all this shit for just so much scrap paper."

Demyx grinned - that was the opening he'd been looking for, to share his real good news. "Actually, they are gonna be of some use..." He gestured, and suddenly an oddly feminine Nobody appeared next to him and bowed gracefully.

Axel stared. "The hell is that? Besides some kind of Nobody I've never seen before?"

"I call it a Dancer." Demyx gestured again, and the Dancer did a neat pirouette. "It's a new kind of Nobody that Vexen created - thanks to whatever was in those books and scrolls. And they're not like Dusks, who aren't really smart enough to do anything on their own - they're not as smart as we are, but they're plenty smart enough to understand orders - something more complicated than 'go there' or 'attack'. Dancer, go get my violin, would you?" The Nobody glided into Demyx's room and returned shortly afterwards with an instrument case. Demyx opened the case and removed his new violin. "Ah, thanks. Now the funny part is, I didn't leave my violin in its case. The Dancer had to put the violin in its case, then bring it here."

Axel was staring in obvious disbelief. "So...are those Dancers going to be like our new servants, or something?"

Demyx shook his head. "They'll only answer to me, for some reason. And the other new kind of Nobodies he made - Dragoons - will only answer to Xaldin. Vexen says as soon as he figures out why that is, he'll start experimenting with some of the smarter Nobodies that already exist, like Assassins, and see if he can get them to respond consistently to just one person too."

"Now a gang of Assassins would be handy in a fight...wonder who'll get those, if Vexen can figure them out..." Axel mused thoughtfully. Demyx already knew, but he didn't want to spoil the biggest surprise of all.

* * *

AN: Ner?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	46. In which Axel learns something odd

"Axel, when's your birthday?"

Right until then, Axel had been busily massaging his newly-freed arm, trying to get used to not having it in a cast. The question took him by surprise. "Uh - January 7...why do you ask all of a sudden?"

Demyx looked up at the ceiling, looking dismayed. "That's in three weeks. Why didn't you say anything?"

Axel stared at him, now equally dismayed. "Holy shit. I guess I just never paid attention to the date...um...when's your birthday?"

"June first."

Axel did some quick mental calculations. "That was months ago, dammit...you're not fifteen, you're sixteen and have been for months...holy shit, that must mean Christmas is next week!" How in Kingdom Hearts's name he'd let that one slip, he couldn't figure out. "Um...quick, what do you want for Christmas?"

Demyx looked at him in continued dismay. "Christmas?"

...The hell? "You don't know what Christmas is? Are you really from Earth?"

"Yes, I am from Earth, and yes, I do know what Christmas is...but I don't want anything."

Axel stared at him in mounting horror and confusion. "What - what the hell?...How could you not want anything for Christmas?" He raised an eyebrow. "Are you under the mistaken impression that you've been a bad boy? As little self-esteem as you seem to have, I'd believe it."

Demyx glared at him. "That has nothing to do with it."

"Well, what, then? Why in Kingdom Hearts's name don't you want anything for Christmas?"

"Because I don't do Christmas. How's that for an answer?"

Axel blinked in surprise at Demyx's sudden hostility. "...The hell? Why don't you?" Demyx just shrugged. "Oh, come on..."

"I just don't, okay?" Demyx snapped.

Axel paused for a moment. "Okay...teach me to assume you don't have a temper..."

Demyx continued to glare at him for a few moments, then his face fell. "Sorry. I shouldn't have bitten your head off."

Axel waved a hand vaguely. "Forget it. Hell, you should do it more often. It might help me learn a little tact."

"Axel, nothing and no one -"

"I know, but we can still hope, right?" Demyx snorted. "Come on. A little optimism?"

Demyx smirked fiercely, but not without humor. "When it comes to you learning tact? I'm not _that_ stupid."

Axel ruffled his hair. "You're not stupid at all. You're just a little - you can be a bit of a fuzzbrain sometimes. And every so often, you do the weirdest things that must make complete sense to you, but not to anyone else."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "Fuzzbrain?"

"It sounded cute, and it seemed to fit..." Axel took a deep breath. "So, as long as we're on the subject of weird things that must make complete sense to you, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Nothing. I don't want anything. I told you, I don't do Christmas."

Axel sighed. "Well, if you insist, what do you want for an extremely belated birthday present?"

There was a prolonged pause, during which Axel started to think he'd said something wrong _again_; then Demyx suddenly snorted and laughed. "You're not gonna give up any time this century, are you? Fine...I'd like a colascione."

Axel just stared. "A colassawhat?"

"A co-la-sci-one," Demyx enunciated patiently. "Or a bouzouki. A kantele would be nice too."

"...What the hell are those?!"

Demyx grinned cheekily. "Stringed instruments. Of course."

"Of course," Axel repeated weakly. "Guess I'd better get shopping...talk about weird things that make sense to you and no one else..."

* * *

AN: (whistles)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	47. In which Demyx tries to ignore Christmas

Demyx knew, academically, that it was Christmas - unlike Axel, he kept track of the calendar. He wished he knew whether or not Axel remembered. If Axel hadn't remembered, that meant Demyx was off the hook. Unfortunately, once Axel learned something like that, he wasn't likely to forget. And since he probably hadn't forgotten, that probably meant he'd be bugging Demyx about it again. Demyx did not celebrate Christmas, did not want to celebrate Christmas, did not want to be bullied into celebrating Christmas, and was so reluctant to even hear about Christmas he'd chosen to skip breakfast just so Axel wouldn't get the chance to hassle him about it. When he heard the knock on the door, he was hoping it was Xigbar with a mission.

The door opened. It was Axel with a plate. Demyx smiled politely only because it would have been incredibly rude to swear at that point.

"Are you feeling all right?" Axel asked. "You were up and moving around fine earlier, but then you didn't show up for breakfast. I brought you some just in case you wanted any. By the way, merry Christmas."

"I dunno; I guess I'm just not feeling all that lively," Demyx lied. "But thanks for the food." He ate unenthusiastically, partly from anxiety and partly to lend credence to his cover story. He did not tell Axel "Merry Christmas" in return.

Axel frowned. "You're not sick, are you? You always seem to get sick at the worst possible times..." He put a hand to Demyx's forehead. "You don't have a fever..."

Demyx shrugged. "I'm just feeling kinda bleh. And what makes this a worst possible time? Was I supposed to have a mission today?"

Axel stared at him in amazement and vague horror for a few moments, then rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Dammit, Demyx...it's Christmas! Christmas is supposed to be a happy day of celebration!"

Now Demyx was legitimately not feeling well. He'd never celebrated Christmas once in his life. Throughout his childhood, at least as long as he could remember, other children had made Christmas, or at least the post-holiday return to school, a Hell on earth. And, dammit, he didn't have the nerve to tell Axel as much. "Oh, is it Christmas?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "I wasn't keeping track...I didn't particularly care."

"Demyx?"

"Hmm?"

"I call bullshit."

"What?"

"I'm not sure if you were keeping track or not, but you do care. See, I'm not always an oblivious clod. You do care, and you're trying to pretend you don't."

Demyx sighed and stared at his half-empty plate. "Axel, I don't celebrate Christmas, and I don't want to celebrate Christmas. I'd be a lot more comfortable if we left that subject alone."

Axel stared at him in active horror now. "You don't..._want_ to celebrate Christmas?!" Demyx shook his head. "Why not?!"

Demyx shrugged wearily. "I'd rather not go into that right now..." He set the plate aside, his appetite having failed him. "Sorry; guess my wet-blanket tendencies haven't been completely cured."

Axel gave him an "oh, please" look, then eventually sat down on the end of the bed. "Well, as long as none of us have missions today, I guess sitting here with you is healthier and more memorable in the long run than going and getting blasted with Xigbar, Xaldin, and Luxord."

"...More memorable? How so?"

Axel winked and tapped his forehead. "Alcohol fucks with your memory, got it memorized?"

* * *

AN: You can find more of Demyx's anti-Christmas thing in chapters 6-9 of "Nobody Died".

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	48. In which Axel falls inauspiciously ill

"Oh, no...poor Ax..."

Axel blinked awake, feeling more than a little fuzzbrained. His head was aching horribly for some reason, and his eyes didn't want to focus, but somehow he forced himself to focus on Demyx's concerned face. "Whaaa?..."

"Isn't this a happy birthday to you..." Demyx murmured worriedly. "I should go get Vexen." He disappeared into the bathroom before Axel could ask what he was talking about, then returned with a wet washcloth that he applied to Axel's forehead. "How'd you get so sick all of a sudden?"

"The hell?" Axel murmured fuzzily. He tried to sit up, and quickly gave up on that idea as his head started pounding even more fiercely and the rest of his body started to ache. "Fuck..." he groaned. "My head fuckin' _hurts_."

"I still have some Tylenol, if you want it," Demyx offered, then scooted off to retrieve it before Axel could say yes or no to the offer. It was probably just as well; he would have said yes if he'd been given the option. Before he quite figured out what was going on, Demyx was back, with two Tylenol and a glass of water. Axel barely had the energy to keep hold of the glass long enough to wash the pills down. "Why'd this have to happen on your birthday?"

"Shit luck, I guess..." Axel handed the glass back and closed his eyes, waiting for the pills to take effect. All he got was a rising wave of nausea. "Fuck...I think I'm gonna be sick..." Demyx hastily retrieved his trash can and moved it into position just in time for the pills to come back up, along with last night's dinner.

He handed the glass back so Axel could rinse his mouth out. "Poor Ax...you only got your arm out of a cast a few weeks ago, and now you're sick on your birthday..."

Axel groaned. "I've had worse birthdays."

Demyx blinked at him. "Well, does knowing it's been worse really make this one any better?"

Axel thought for a moment, then shook his head gingerly - moving at all only intensified the ache. "No, gotta admit it doesn't. Damn it, my _everything_ hurts." For some reason, the knowledge that he couldn't even hold down a couple Tylenol irritated him more than simply being sick on his birthday.

Demyx sighed. "Glad I tried to wake you up before breakfast...if I'd waited until you didn't come down to breakfast, I'd have brought you something to eat, and that would have been a waste..."

"Bleh." Axel didn't want to even think about food. He wanted to curl up and go back to sleep, but everything hurt too much. "No day is a good day to get sick...got it memorized?" He rolled over, trying to find a position in which everything hurt less, then thought of something. "Didn't you get any breakfast?"

Demyx shook his head. "If you need me for anything, it's not a big deal. I'm not gonna die just from missing one meal."

Axel groaned. "Have I ever told you you can be an idiot sometimes?"

Demyx shrugged. "Not as often as I've actually been an idiot, I bet."

Axel rolled back over again and glared at him. "Get some breakfast, you dipshit. I don't think I'm gonna die if left unattended for twenty minutes." Demyx nodded, then sat down and summoned his sitar. "...The fuck are you doing?"

"Giving you at least part of your birthday present." Without further ado, Demyx started playing, with a deep concentration that meant it was useless to tell him to give it up and feed his face already. Sure, it was a beautiful piece...most of Demyx's other compositions always sounded like water in some form, like spring rain or a waterfall, but this one reminded Axel of fire for some reason...soft and warm and comforting, like a fireplace blaze on a winter night...but...wait, what had he been thinking about? Oh, yeah...Demyx needed to eat, to keep up his strength, because he seemed to get sick so easily...though he wasn't gonna listen...and it really wouldn't do that much harm if he waited until he was done playing...it was a beautiful piece, after all...funny, he didn't ache all that much...it must have just seemed worse than it actually was...that really was beautiful...he just had to make sure Demyx went and got some breakfast after he was done...but he could wait...he could wait...if the music was his birthday present, it was a pretty good one, as they went..._zzz_.

* * *

AN: I woke up this morning and asked Axel-muse and Demyx-muse what they wanted to do today. Axel-muse wanted AkuDemy porn. Demyx-muse wanted Axel incapacitated until further notice. Guess who won.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	49. In which the duo return to Twilight Town

"You really don't have to do this," Demyx protested ineffectively.

"Yes I do," Axel replied. "You spent every free moment of almost two months looking after me while I was all busted up, and then after I got sick, and not only did you not complain or expect anything for it, you don't even seem to be aware that you did anything spectacular, or even worth mentioning. You deserve something nice after all that. And stop blushing."

Demyx could feel his face growing redder anyway. He _hadn't_ done anything spectacular. Taking care of your friends when they couldn't take care of themselves very well was just the right thing to do - he couldn't be the only Organization member left with a conscience - obviously, otherwise Axel wouldn't be taking him to Twilight Town for a day off - so why did he think it was so amazing? He was just doing what he was supposed to.

But Axel would never believe that. So Demyx kept his mouth shut on the subject. Instead, he asked "Where are we going?"

Axel shrugged. "Wherever you feel like. I owe you. I'll buy you anything you want, so long as it actually fits in my budget and it doesn't involve bug candy."

Demyx blushed again. Now he would be reluctant to point out anything he wanted, because he knew he'd be spending Axel's munny instead of his own. That was something else it seemed useless to mention. "That's nice of you," he murmured instead.

Axel ruffled his hair. "And please, whatever you decide you want, speak the hell up. Don't just make me guess. After all, I missed your birthday too."

"That's because I never mentioned it when it passed."

"That's no excuse, little brother. And just so you know, your face is incredibly red." Demyx blushed even deeper, and Axel laughed. "Look at you. How can you go through life being so readily embarrassed?"

"I'm not embarrassed," Demyx protested. Pointlessly.

Axel grabbed his neck and gave him a noogie. "What say we start with some ice cream?"

"Axel, did you not notice the snow or what?"

Axel released him, then tweaked his blue scarf. "What's snow have to do with it? Oh, I forgot, you actually get cold, don't you." He smirked, obviously confident in his immunity to winter temperatures. "How about some hot chocolate, then? Most of the ice cream shops are either closed for the season or have switched over to a winter menu anyway."

"Fine, hot chocolate sounds good..." Demyx rubbed at his ears. "Preferably inside."

"I take the ear rubbing to assume you'd like some earmuffs too? Can't let those precious ears of yours freeze off, now can we? Otherwise you wouldn't be able to hear all that lovely music!"

Demyx was blushing so furiously at this point it barely mattered. "Axel -"

Axel almost doubled over laughing. "Your face is just priceless," he gasped. Then he straightened up and calmed down a little. "Seriously. Don't let your ears freeze off. Put your hood up until we get inside, then once we're done with the hot chocolate, we can go find you some earmuffs or something."

"Ax...why are you doing this?"

"Because I owe you. Because I like you. Because you're so damn shy you wouldn't dream of doing it yourself. Because it's fun to have a little brother to fuss over."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "Fun?"

"Yes. Fun. Now do you want to argue the point all day or do you want some hot chocolate?"

Demyx was forced to concede defeat. "...I want hot chocolate."

* * *

AN: Aww.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	50. In which Axel made a big mistake

Axel's head hurt. That was the first thing he knew when he woke up. A few moments later, he realized his mouth was intensely dry. When he cracked an eye open, he quickly shut it again - even the light of Kingdom Hearts seemed unbearably bright. And for some reason, he was lying on the floor, covered in his own vomit.

He didn't remember what he'd been doing the night before, but it didn't take him too long to figure out.

_Fuck it all...I must have been wasted beyond all reason._

Instead of trying to remove the now-disgusting robe he'd been wearing last night, he simply burned it off. It was easier that way. He staggered upright, with difficulty, and knocked on the bathroom door - Kingdom Hearts, that was loud. "I'll be out in a second," Demyx said - he might as well have yelled.

"Not so loud," Axel muttered, clutching his pounding head. Fuck. He needed aspirin and needed it now. And a shower - damn, he reeked. Like sweat and stale cigarettes and whiskey-scented spew. As soon as he heard Demyx's bathroom door open and shut, he staggered blindly into the shower and turned the cold water on full, not even bothering to remove the rest of his clothing. His clothes smelled as bad as he did, anyway. They needed washing.

Once he felt a little more alive and a little less hungover, and his eyes had adjusted a little to the maddeningly bright light, he emerged from the shower, not bothering to dry himself off with a towel, and started tearing the bathroom apart, looking for aspirin. But fuck it all to hell, he couldn't find any. He tried to open Demyx's door, but the deadbolt stopped him. "Dems, you got any aspirin?" he asked anyway.

"Um, no, I don't think so..." Demyx's voice was oddly subdued, which Axel was grateful for. "I have some Tylenol, if you want it..."

"Sure, what the hell." Axel tried to wedge his hand through the crack of the door, to get the bottle, but the door wouldn't open far enough. "Fuck...open the door." Long, long silence. "What the fuck? What's the holdup?"

Demyx's voice was barely audible. "You need to move your hand first."

"Is that all? Why the fuck didn't you say somethin' earlier?" Axel removed his hand, and the door shut, then opened again, unrestrained by the deadbolt. A hooded figure on the other side handed him a bottle of Tylenol at arm's length. "Thanks..." He stared. "Dems, why the fuck do you have your hood up?"

"I just...felt like it," Demyx said softly.

Axel wasn't impressed. "Fuck, with that thing on, I dunno if I'm talking to you or who..." He grabbed Demyx's hood and yanked it back. "...Damn...what the fuck happened to you?"

Demyx quickly flinched away, one hand moving to cover his black eye. "Nothing..."

"Nothin' my ass...spill. Who hit you?"

Demyx looked down at his feet. "Nobody," he whispered.

Axel blinked in confusion. "Nobody as in no one, or Nobody as in someone who doesn't have a heart?" Demyx's face turned red, and he looked like he wanted to cry. "Someone who doesn't have a heart?"

Demyx took a few steps back, refusing to look at Axel. "Ax, leave me alone."

"No. Who hit you?" Axel was starting to get a really awful feeling in the pit of his stomach, and not just nausea. His father had never been a very kind or loving man, but he only turned physically violent when he was drunk...

_I'm not like him. I'm nothing like that bastard._ But Axel was no longer so sure. "Wasn't me, was it?" he asked dully.

Demyx nodded reluctantly. "I didn't want to say anything..." he whispered in a choked voice. "You were too drunk to know what you were doing..."

The world spun a little. "Yeah. I...guess I was...sorry..." The awful feeling in the pit of his stomach suddenly grew overwhelming. "...I'm gonna be sick." Axel quickly retreated into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him, abandoning the Tylenol.

* * *

AN: Bad Axel. Bad. :( You hurted Demy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	51. In which Demyx talks to Xigbar

It was just Demyx's luck that Zexion was gone on a mission. He would have loved to have the excuse of lessons to stay out of his room all day. The idea of going back and having to face Axel again was just...unbearable.

_He didn't mean to do it._ he tried to reassure himself. _He was too drunk to know what he was doing. If he'd known what he was doing, it would never have happened._

His eye still hurt. So did his arm, and the lump on the back of his head - where Axel had grabbed his arm and thrown him against the wall. And he still remembered what Axel had said to him.

_"Fuckin' worthlesh runt...the fuck'd they letcha in for?"_

Dammit, he was crying again. He scrubbed angrily at his eyes, ignoring the pain.

_He didn't mean to say that. He was too drunk to know what he was saying._

Talk about thin comfort. He felt like he was going to be sick to his stomach - it was probably just as well he couldn't bring himself to eat breakfast. There wouldn't be much left in there.

He finally looked up and saw that his aimless wanderings had led him to the Hall of Empty Melodies. _A safe haven_, was his first thought, but - no. If Axel came looking for him, the Hall would be near the top of his list of places to check. He needed to find some place where Axel would never think look for him. But he couldn't think of anywhere in the castle where Axel wouldn't look for him and no one else would accidentally find him.

Then how about outside the castle?

It was as good an idea as any. He opened a portal to Twilight Town, to the deserted alley he and Axel always started out in, where no one could see the portal. No one liked to think of Twilight Town having a bad side, but every city did, including the most beautiful and charming, it seemed. Though, granted, it wasn't nearly as ugly as where he'd grown up. He stared up at the clear blue sky - something he was no longer used to, but it always seemed more _right_ than the endless darkness of the World that Never Was - and decided he didn't really feel like heading downtown to all the bustling shops and confronting all the cheerful, charming people. What he really wanted to do was sit down right where he was and cry.

He'd never felt so low in his existence. He was living in a castle, never wanted for food, clothing, medical care, or spending money, had more than adequate time to play and compose - hell, if he didn't have a mission for a few days, he could spend them all composing or playing nonstop if he cared to go without food or sleep for that long - and yet here he was, still the lowest rung on the ladder, still being turned on by "friends" and collecting bruises and insults from drunks, still crying his eyes out in a back alley. Even now that he lived in a castle, he was still a little piece of street trash. Unwanted, unneeded, unnoticed. When the weather mysteriously turned to rain, he welcomed it - it suited his mood. Not even the odd rumble of thunder could shake him out of his depression.

"There you are, dude - way to disappear and not tell anyone. Come on, let's get back home before Axel flips out completely. Damn, how can you stand being out in this crap?"

Demyx looked up at Xigbar in complete confusion, scrubbing at his eyes again. "What?"

"Axel's freakin' out - he's convinced it's his fault you ran out and didn't tell anyone where you were going. I think he's chewed all his fingernails off by now." Well, it was his fault, and Demyx still didn't feel like going back to the castle. But he couldn't bring himself to struggle at all as Xigbar hauled him to his feet. "Dude, your hands are freezing. I think you need some hot chocolate - come on."

Lacking the will to argue or even protest, Demyx let Xigbar lead him downtown, to the hot chocolate shops that hadn't yet been converted back to ice cream shops. The one they eventually stopped at wasn't the one he and Axel usually went to, which was all to the good, to his mind. "No whipped cream," was all that he said.

"You trying to burn your tongue off, kid?" Demyx just shrugged. "All right...whatever you say..." Xigbar went up to the counter, and returned in a few minutes with two cups of hot chocolate. "So, ready to explain the logic behind your disappearing act?" Demyx shook his head. "Does it have anything to do with that shiner?" Demyx froze instinctively at that question. "Axel give it to you?"

Demyx tried to deny it, but he was forced to nod. "Last night. He was drunk," he murmured, feeling helpless. He took a drink of the scalding hot chocolate, to try and take his mind off it.

Xigbar's eye narrowed. "Is that so." Demyx was forced to nod again, taking another drink to try and conceal his distress, even though he had the feeling it would all come back up later. "Well. I think someone's been on his last night out for a while. Fuck, I knew he'd find a way into any bar brawl once he'd had a few, but I didn't think he'd bring the habit home. I think we need to find him something more interesting to do on bar nights."

Demyx wasn't quite sure what to think. "Oh...um..."

"By the way," Xigbar continued, "he won't be allowed to keep alcohol in his room for a while. I dunno whether he does right now or not, but I'm gonna tell him tonight, and if you catch him with any starting tomorrow, tell me right away. Okay? Also tell me if he tries to get rid of it by drinking it all." Demyx stared blankly in confusion, and Xigbar cleared his throat hesitantly. "If he tries to...get back at you for ratting on him, tell me that too, okay? You haven't done anything wrong so far but get in the way, and you don't deserve any punishment for it."

Demyx could feel his face turning red. "I will," he murmured, wondering if he actually would or not.

* * *

AN: The author is waiting for reader comments.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	52. In which Axel cleans the bathroom

Axel wasn't having a good day. Again.

Granted, after what happened last time, he hadn't really wanted to go out to the bar with the others. He never wanted to wake up hungover to discover he'd been throwing Demyx around again. It just seemed a little much to make him clean all the bathrooms as long as he was staying home. If Demyx's Dancers, the most dextrous of the lesser Nobodies, were smart enough to put an instrument in its case without being explicitly told to, they could probably work out how to clean a toilet. Instead, Axel had to do it. At least he was given an actual toilet brush to do it with. If they'd wanted to be really cruel, they could have given him a toothbrush or something. Or ordered him to clean every single bathroom in the castle, instead of just the ones in the residential quarters.

Like he needed another reason never to come home drunk and pissy again.

"I fucking hate cleaning bathrooms," he muttered as he started scrubbing out his own toilet - he'd saved his and Demyx's bathroom for last, so he could go right back to his room and collapse when he was done. The door creaked open a crack. "And...you have no sympathy at all, do you." That was a statement, not a question. The door creaked again. "Stick around. Watch. You probably think this is funny."

"No." Just that word, and nothing else.

"No, you don't want to stick around, or no, you don't think this is funny?"

"I don't think it's funny."

"Thanks. I guess." Long pause, which Axel spent scrubbing the toilet. "So, are you going to offer to help?"

"...No. I don't like cleaning the bathroom either."

"Smart." Axel went back to scrubbing the toilet. "You know, it would be more comfortable if I could see you, so I'd know I wasn't actually talking to Zexion."

Pause. "I'd have to be in or on the toilet for you to be able to see me right now."

"Good point." Axel finished scrubbing the toilet, flushed it, and rinsed the brush out in the bathtub. "Are you still mad at me?"

"...For what?"

"Slugging you. Obviously."

"Nnh..."

Axel finally turned around and looked at Demyx. "That's just a yes or no question."

Demyx was looking at his feet. "Well...you were drunk. You didn't know what you were doing. It wasn't your fault."

Axel rubbed his forehead. "So...you were never mad at all?"

Demyx shrugged and half-smiled faintly. "Do I get mad?"

Axel shook his head, a little dismayed. "There's a little difference between not getting mad about something that's not a big deal, and not getting mad about something that is a big deal. If someone punched me in the face for no good reason, I'd bust their skull open, whether they were drunk or not."

Demyx stared at him, baffled. "...Where is this leading?"

Axel sighed. "I mean you really need to grow a spine. Learn to fight back. Seriously, you make it too easy for people to walk all over you. That's probably why they did it so often, and that's why they're probably going to keep doing it for the rest of your life. You always just...sit back and let them. I'm sorry, but it's true."

Demyx stared at him for several long moments with an indecipherable expression. "You're right," he said finally.

Axel sighed again and shook his head. "Way for me to put my foot in my mouth _again_. I wasn't trying to call you worthless or a wuss or anything, and I'm sorry if it came out like that." Demyx's face started to crumple. "...What?"

"You...you s-said I was...you called me a worthless runt...said they sh-shouldn't have let me in..." Demyx whispered softly.

Axel stood up and spun around, dropping the cleaning supplies. "_What?!_ When?!"

Demyx looked like he wanted to curl up and die - more or less how Axel felt. "...When you were drunk."

Axel wanted to throw himself off a balcony. "Goddamnit. God-_fucking_-damnit. I am so fucking sorry." Demyx turned away, raising his hood. "Don't do that - I'm sorry. That was just the alcohol talking. I didn't mean it. It's not true."

Demyx turned back briefly; Axel could feel his sad gaze under that dark hood. "You d-drank that alcoh-hol, d-didn't you?"

"What? What do you...Demyx? Where are you going? I'm sorry; I didn't mean it...don't you believe me? Don't shut that - " _Slam!_ "...Door. Dammit."

* * *

AN: Axel...you gots some 'splainin' to do.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	53. In which Demyx beats up some dummies

Demyx felt like his arms were going to fall off. "Lexaeus...I think the dummies are dead."

The Silent Hero shook his head. "Took too long. You need to move faster."

Demyx groaned. He didn't waste time protesting, or complaining about how tired he was; Lexaeus's response, in its entirety, would be "Exhaustion builds endurance". Not in Demyx's experience, at least not yet. He'd never been in this much consistent pain in his life. "My everything hurts," he murmured under his breath, then reluctantly reset the dummies, raised his sitar, and tried to take them all down faster than he had before. By the time the last of the dummies fell to the sandy floor, the only thing Demyx noticed that was different from the first, third, or dozenth-odd time was that his arms hurt a little more and he had a little less energy. And he had no way of knowing if he'd been any faster or not, or even if he had been whether it was faster enough for Lexaeus. But judging by the expression on his face, he would be expected to set the dummies back up and take them down again. And again. And again.

_What the fuck sort of idiotic dumbass would volunteer to go through this?_

_Me._

Demyx couldn't take it anymore. His legs collapsed from under him. Somehow, he found himself on the ground, sobbing weakly, without the strength to pull himself to his feet.

Fortunately for him, Lexaeus was nothing if not patient; this wasn't the first time Demyx had crumbled during a workout, and Lexaeus always sat silently and waited for him to calm down on his own, instead of screaming at him, which would only have made things worse. This time, though, Demyx wasn't sure if he could calm down and continue. Every muscle and joint in his body hurt, including the little tiny muscles in his eyes. His fighting skills hadn't improved a bit in five weeks. He felt so weak and drained he wondered if he was going to die of exhaustion right there. And he'd volunteered to put himself through this hell.

_I. Am. Such. An. Idiot._

He couldn't keep doing this. He had to tell Lexaeus thanks for his help, but it was hopeless; there was no way in hell he'd ever be any sort of fighter; he might as well give up on abusing the dummies and himself and accept his permanent place as the weakest link in the Organization. What in Kingdom Hearts's name had he been thinking when he'd asked for intensive fighting practice?

_"I mean you really need to grow a spine. Learn to fight back. Seriously, you make it too easy for people to walk all over you. That's probably why they did it so often, and that's why they're probably going to keep doing it for the rest of your life. You always just...sit back and let them. I'm sorry, but it's true."_

Demyx sighed, pulled himself to his feet, and started setting the dummies up again. Just like every other time he'd almost quit.

_I'm such an idiot..._

* * *

AN: Yes, but you are a determined idiot. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	54. In which Axel gets a severe shock

How much Axel enjoyed sparring practice depended largely on who his opponent was. This promised to be an easy fight, but he wasn't looking forward to it at all. Rather, he was dreading it. He really, really didn't want to fight Demyx.

_I beat the shit out of him once already. I don't really want to do it again._

Like he had much of a hope of getting out of it. He'd never mastered the ability to fake sudden illness. Demyx had, but he'd made it clear long ago he wasn't going to use it to get out of fighting anymore. Axel had been kept awake half the night, listening to him being sick and wishing he dared go in there to reassure him and talk him into backing out due to illness, like he used to when they were still new here.

Too late. They were already in the arena, facing each other and waiting for Xigbar's cue. Axel was struck by how different Demyx looked - he hadn't seen very much of him since...since that incident. He'd _grown_ - not just taller, but larger in general; he'd gone from scrawny to lean and muscular. _What the hell have you been doing in your spare time?_ Axel wondered.

But when he looked into Demyx's eyes, he could still see the same frightened kid that had shown up two weeks after he did - afraid to hurt, afraid to be hurt, unwilling to fight at all.

Axel knew he wouldn't be allowed to hold back too much, but he promised himself that he'd go as easy on Demyx as he could get away with.

The whistle sounded. Axel and Demyx immediately summoned their weapons, Axel spent one fraction of a second adjusting his grip...and he was promptly blown off his feet by a massive jet of water. The chakrams were knocked out of his hands and sent flying across the arena, and he was too wet to simply summon them back; he had to run after them.

_Talk about a move I didn't expect!_ he thought in shock. He managed to get one hand on one chakram before being bowled over by another blast. So much for letting Demyx off as easy as possible - Demyx wasn't giving him a single break. As soon as he got his hand on the other chakram, Axel decided, he wasn't giving Demyx a single break either.

But every time he got within five feet of it, either he or the chakram was blown away by a jet of water. Before very long, the chakram he'd already grabbed was knocked out of his hand. While he watched, flat on the floor and soaked to the bone, a pair of water clones suddenly appeared and ran off with them both. "That's not fuckin' fair," he groaned.

Demyx didn't respond, nor did he flatten Axel with yet another crushing wave. Instead, he just stood there watching him, sitar in hand, as Axel picked himself off the floor, dusted himself off a bit, and waited to dry out. Once he was dry enough to use his powers again, he reached out to summon his chakrams away from the clones...

_Bwoosh._

He went head over heels, carried across the arena by _another_ wave. He staggered to his feet again, waited until he dried out, tried to summon his chakrams again - and promptly got soaked again. A third try got him exactly the same treatment. The fourth time he dried out enough to use his powers, he just stood there, staring at Demyx. _To think I'd intended to go easy on you,_ he thought. Then he realized that _Demyx_ had been going easy on _him_ the entire time.

Well...fire versus water. Like fire ever stood much of a chance.

He raised his hands in the air. "You've got me over a barrel, I think," he murmured.

The whistle blew again. "Don't tell me you're crackin', dude?" Xigbar asked from his ceiling perch.

Axel groaned. "Crack_ing_, hell, more like _cracked_. I can't fight soaked." Hell, Demyx could have done a lot worse to him than just keep him too wet to fight. He shivered a little as he remembered way back when - being trapped in a cave, unable to fight, cornered by a man with a shotgun who'd mysteriously drowned on dry land.

"If you say so, dude." Xigbar blew the whistle again. "That does it, then. Nice job, Demyx."

Axel summoned his chakrams away from the water clones without getting soaked, then dispelled them. "Talk about a surprise." Demyx dispelled his water clones and his sitar, and wordlessly portaled out of the arena without stopping for so much as a handshake. Axel rubbed his forehead, feeling more drained than the fairly brief fight should have left him. He portaled to Demyx's room, hoping to catch him there. Demyx was sitting with his back to the wall and his head between his knees, looking more dejected than if he'd lost the fight. "Uh...Demyx...just wanted to say, good fight."

Demyx raised his head slightly and looked at him with a dull expression. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"What? Yeah. I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Demyx sighed and straightened out a little. "I hate fighting," he murmured.

"Well, if you do, you picked a good way to handle it - keeping your opponent off-balance and separated from his weapon."

Demyx shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Axel sighed and ruffled his hair. "You did good. Honestly. You won without hurting anyone - you should be proud of yourself."

Demyx snorted. "I kicked your butt, didn't I?"

"Yes. Fair and square and then some. I never stood a chance. And to think I'd intended to go _easy_ on you. _You_ were going easy on _me_ the whole time, weren't you."

Demyx ducked his head and blushed a little. "Yeah...I didn't want to...hurt you..."

Axel ruffled his hair again. "The only damage done was to my pride."


	55. In which Demyx takes a nap

Demyx wasn't just moody after the fight with Axel. Two months of intensive workouts were catching up with him, and once the adrenaline wore off, he was exhausted and sore beyond all reason. He wasn't just slumped against the wall angsting; he was there because he could hardly move anymore.

_Don't complain,_ he reminded himself. _You just knocked Axel across the arena four or five times; he's probably pretty sore himself, even if he says all that got hurt was his pride._

Once Axel left the room, Demyx dragged himself upright and peeled off his sweaty clothing, intending on soaking out all his soreness and tiredness in the bathtub. He was down to his T-shirt and boxers when he decided he just couldn't stay upright long enough to peel those off too and still actually make it into the bathroom. Instead, he stumbled into the bathroom still half-dressed, gingerly climbed into the bathtub, and turned on the tap - he didn't even have the energy to fill it himself. He'd intended to turn it off when the tub was full - he didn't want to flood the bathroom, after all - but he was so worn out, and the water felt so good on his aching muscles, and he was finally starting to relax...and he fell asleep with the tap still running.

He was having some wonderful dreams - about being a merman in Atlantica, and playing sitar for a growing and increasingly appreciative crowd, and catching the eye of a beautiful red-haired mer-princess with a gorgeous singing voice - when something suddenly grabbed his shoulder and wrenched him out of the water. "Dammit, what the hell are you doing?!" Axel demanded.

Demyx shook his head, trying to rub water and sleep out of his eyes. "The hell am I doing - what the hell are you doing? I was just sleeping..."

Axel just stared in disbelief. "_Underwater?!_"

"...Huh?"

"You were lying in the bathtub one hundred percent submerged, eyes closed, with the faucet still running - I thought you were fucking drowning! I thought you'd fucking killed yourself!"

"..." Demyx let himself slide underwater again. Much to his surprise, he could still breathe easily, though not exactly with his lungs.

_Now this is cool._

He sat up, raising his head out of the water. "Turns out I can breathe underwater. Now that's handy."

Axel stared at him in surprise. "Oh. Um." He scratched his head. "Well, that would explain why you didn't drown back in Vegas. Wish I'd known that earlier. Now maybe the next time you conk out in the bathtub, I won't mistake it for a suicide attempt."

Demyx stuck his tongue out at him. Then he yawned. "Damn, I'm still wiped out...can I go back to sleep without you freaking out?"

Axel rubbed his forehead. "Yeah...I guess...one thing, though, before you conk out."

"What?"

"...You flooded my room."

Demyx could feel his face turning red. "Um...sorry..."

* * *

AN: I let the last chapter go without an AN! D:

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	56. In which Axel has a heart attack

Axel found himself staring at his darkened ceiling, wishing he could sleep. But it seemed like the only way he'd be able to sleep tonight was to drink himself into oblivion, which he couldn't do just then and wouldn't do if he could. He didn't want to wake up on the floor and discover he'd been pounding on Demyx again. Or try to pound on someone else and not wake up at all.

He tossed, turned, rolled, and stretched restlessly, hoping that maybe a more comfortable position would be more conducive to sleep. No dice; there didn't seem to be any such thing as a comfortable position for him tonight. He kept trying anyway - maybe he could just wear himself out. Instead, he rolled right off the bed and landed on his rear in a tangle of sheets. "Ow...fuckin' dammit..." He almost had his bedding back in just enough order to be worth trying to sleep on when he heard a tentative knock on the door. "Oh, for the love of Kingdom Hearts...what do you want?"

Demyx's voice was as hesitant as his knock. "Are you okay?"

Axel sighed heavily, unconsciously putting a hand over his chest - for some reason, it felt like there was an empty hole there, slowly nibbling away at him and threatening to overwhelm his whole body. "No. I feel like shit and I can't fucking sleep."

"Do you...need any help?"

"Yeah, come in here and knock me out." Axel flopped back on the bed and went back to staring at the ceiling, wondering where the hell that big empty hole had come from and how he could make it go away.

"...Want some hot chocolate?"

"...The hell?"

"It might help you sleep..."

Axel groaned. "Right now, I think a baseball bat would do more good...but if it'll make you feel better, go make some hot chocolate." There was silence on the other side of the door, so Axel assumed Demyx had either gone back to bed or gone down to the kitchen. He went back to fighting for sleep and wishing that damned empty hole would just go the fuck away and let him sleep.

The door quietly creaked open. Axel summoned a small flame and found Demyx standing there carrying two cups. "I hope you like marshmallows," he said in an apologetic tone, handing Axel one of the cups.

Axel looked down into the cup - Demyx hadn't gone for the mini-marshmallows; those were full-sized marshmallows in there. "You went to town on this, didn't you? Did you make it with water or milk?"

"Milk...why do you ask?"

"Ah...the deluxe version, huh? Don't tell me, you used syrup instead of powdered cocoa."

"Yeah...how'd you guess?"

"Never mind..." Axel took a drink; the hot, sweet liquid did have an oddly calming effect, though the empty hole in his chest still refused to just go away.

Demyx sat down at the foot of the bed, sipping his own hot chocolate. "So...what's the matter?"

Axel sighed. "I dunno. I just...I feel like there's this big hole in my chest...I dunno why, but it's not lettin' me sleep at all." He hadn't really intended to share that information, but with hot chocolate in hand and Demyx sitting at the end of his bed, it just came out of its own accord.

Demyx frowned sympathetically. "That stinks...I hope it goes away soon...I hope it's not anything really bad..." He scooched a little closer, shifted his cup to one hand, and started rubbing Axel's back with the other.

"Guess that's a little kinder than just knocking me over the head with your sitar or something..." Axel mumbled. The empty hole was still there, but it had stopped growing. Maybe it was even starting to shrink a little.

The two of them woke up the next morning sprawled haphazardly across Axel's bed, still clutching empty cups.


	57. In which Demyx watches the rain

Edmy had never been fond of the rain. Demyx, however, was somehow enthralled by it. He'd never really realized before how beautiful it could be - he'd never thought of the World that Never Was as a beautiful world before; it was usually too dark and dingy for his tastes, but somehow the rain had turned it into a shimmering, glittering cityscape, shining in the light of Kingdom Hearts. And the still-falling rain made the air seem to sparkle despite the lack of stars. He'd stopped caring about how cold and wet he was getting; he didn't especially care if he caught pneumonia from sitting out on the balcony in the rain all night as long as he got to enjoy this beauty.

"Are you going to sit out there all night, or just until you catch pneumonia?"

Catching it from Axel, though, was something else entirely. "I'm just watching the rain, Ax."

"...Has anyone ever told you you can be a bit of a doofus sometimes?"

"Who hasn't? Including myself?"

"Ouch. Touche...so why are you watching the rain anyway?"

Demyx glanced down at Axel, peering through his bedroom window, and gestured at the sparkling city. "It's so beautiful, that's why. Look at the way it shimmers."

Axel stared uncomprehendingly at the city. "Looks just the same as ever, from here."

Demyx sighed irritably. "So all the shiny rain is just totally blowing by your eyes, I take it?"

Axel snorted. "You know what would really improve the view out there? A good three-alarm fire."

Demyx stared down at him. "...You really are a pyro, aren't you?"

Axel chuckled and summoned a tiny flame that somehow held its own against the gentle rainfall. "How do you think I got this element? I was the bane of unattended trash cans throughout the area!" The flame flared larger and brighter for a moment, then disappeared. "How about you? What's your elemental story? Were you a hotshot swimmer or something, or did you drown?"

Demyx shook his head. "I froze to death, actually. I was under a bridge, though."

Axel nodded, looking sympathetic. "Maybe that had something to do with it. Since ice was taken already."

Demyx shrugged. "I dunno. I was always a good swimmer - I loved swimming - but I never got a chance to swim competitively. Truth be known, I didn't like competitive swimming. And I loved to just - sit and watch the ocean, when I didn't have anything better to do."

Axel nodded again. "And the rain?"

Demyx shook his head. "No...I never liked the rain before...I dunno why I like it so much all of a sudden...makes me wonder what I've been missing..."

Axel looked at the damp city critically again. "I'm thinking you weren't missing much. I'm still wondering what you're seeing now."

"Oh, stuff it, Ax. It's really beautiful. It makes the whole city sparkle."

"...Right. Whatever you say." Axel whistled softly and drew little circles around his ear with his index finger.

With his head sticking out of the window, he made such a tempting target. And Demyx didn't even have to summon any water; he just controlled the rainwater that was already available. Axel's indignant yelp must have been heard in the next world over.


	58. In which Axel and Demyx shoot the breeze

"Axel, what were your parents like?"

The question took him by surprise. "Huh? Why do you ask?"

Demyx shrugged. "Just curious. Since I never knew my parents."

"Oh. Well." Axel leaned back and stared at the sky, toying with his now-empty ice cream stick. "If your parents were anything like mine, you should be grateful. As public opinion had it, my dad was a highly respected personal injury lawyer, the senior partner in a highly respected legal firm, and my mom was one of those high-powered executive types that somehow still had time to raise the perfect family - well, perfect if you left me out of the picture. At home, my dad was a drunken, abusive ambulance chaser and my mother was a drunken workaholic that never had time for her kids and probably should never have had any. I was raised by nannies. My younger brother was raised mostly by me. The only person I ever really looked up to was my grandfather - my dad's father - and he died when I was nine. Of liver cancer. He wasn't exactly a teetotaler himself. My grandmother died before I was born, and my mother's parents were stuck-up assholes."

Demyx frowned sympathetically. "That's pretty awful."

Axel nodded and sat upright again. "You know, I told my brother I was bi almost as soon as I realized it myself. I never told my parents at all. Shows you exactly how much I trusted them. Though sometimes I was really, strongly tempted to bring another guy home for the night - yes, for that - while my parents were there just to see their reaction." He laughed humorlessly. "I think the only reason they wouldn't have kicked me out on the spot is because they'd have to explain exactly why they'd disowned their firstborn son and heir, and it would have been just too humiliating to explain to the whole stuck-up, self-important town that said firstborn son and heir liked other men."

"When did you realize you were bi?"

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Is there some particular reason you're asking that question? Not questioning your sexual orientation, are you?"

Demyx stuck out his tongue. "Not yet. I'm just curious and had nothing better to do than ask. You know more-or-less my whole life story; up until now, I've only known bits and pieces of yours."

"Not yet? You mean you might later?"

"Hey, Axel, want a bath?"

"All right...I was fourteen, on the couch watching TV, some red-carpet spectacular or other. And this hot fashion model came down the red carpet on the arm of her hot actor boyfriend. They showed them from the rear, and I looked at her and went 'Wow, she's got a nice ass...hey, he's got a pretty nice ass himself...wait, what the hell am I doing checking out another guy's ass?' It didn't fully click right away, but that was kind of the first step."

Demyx stood up and examined Axel critically. "Hmm..." Axel stared at him, wondering what the hell he was doing. "Hmmmm...well...after careful consideration and examination...I'm forced to confess..." Axel swallowed involuntarily. "I don't find you sexually attractive at all." Axel was so taken by surprise he burst out laughing involuntarily, and Demyx grinned. "In fact, if I make a conscious effort to imagine you as a girl, which kind of hurts my head, the end result is kind of cute but way too skinny. Like, unhealthy skinny. Anorexic skinny."

"I'm not anorexic."

"That much is obvious to anyone who's ever seen you eat."

* * *

AN: I wrote this because I needed filler. I don't like it, but I need the next chapter to be Demyx's POV.


	59. In which Demyx learns something horrible

"Hey, Demyx? Are you busy?"

"Not often, unless I'm on a mission or in lessons or something. Why?" Axel walked in carrying, of all things, a turntable and a 45. "...What the...?"

Axel shrugged helplessly. "I swear, this was the only format I could find it in."

"Do you even know how to use one of those things?"

"Yes, I do, in fact." Axel set the turntable down and started searching for a plug. "I heard this on a mission a couple weeks ago, and I thought it sounded familiar, but I couldn't tell you where I'd heard it before to save my life. So I bought myself a copy and hoped that maybe you'd recognize it."

"Hmm..." Demyx set his guitar down and sat up on the bed. "Let's hear it."

Axel started the record playing, and they both sat back and listened. As the first mournful guitar notes sounded, Demyx frowned angrily - he knew that melody. He'd played it before - after his first disastrous match against Saix, when he'd come that close to running away from the Organization entirely - that was the tune he'd been playing, while he sat on the stormy, rocky beach and cried, only on guitar instead of sitar. His hands involuntarily clenched into fists - someone had stolen his music.

_"The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they call Gitche Gumi..."_

Oh. They'd put lyrics to it too. Demyx had never been much of a lyricist - maybe he could at least hear the whole thing out before throwing a fit.

_"The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead when the skies of November turn gloomy..."_

Well. That was cheery. Not.

_"With a load of iron ore 26,000 tons more than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty, that big ship and crew was a bone to be chewed when the gales of November came early."_

...What? What was this song about? Not a...well, maybe not...he had to keep listening.

"_The ship was the pride of the American side, coming back from some mill in Wisconsin. As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most, with a crew and a captain well-seasoned. Concluding some terms with a couple steel firms when they left fully loaded for Cleveland, and later that night when the ship's bell rang, could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?_"

That...didn't sound encouraging. At all.

"_The wind in the wire made a tattletale sound and a wave broke over the railing, and every man knew, as the captain did too, 'twas the witch of November come stealin'. The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait as the gales of November came slashin'. When afternoon came it was freezin' rain in the face of a hurricane west wind."_

"Ax-Axel...wh-what's this song called?"

"_When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck, sayin' 'Fellas, it's too rough to feed ya.' At seven PM, a main hatchway caved in, he said 'Fellas, it's been good to know ya!'_"

"'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald'."

"_The captain wired in, he had water comin' in, and the big ship and crew was in peril, and later that night, when his lights went out of sight, came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald._"

"T-turn it off. P-please - please, t-turn it off..."

Axel hastily jerked the plug out of the socket. "What? What's wrong? You look like a ghost."

"W-was that song...b-based on a real shipwreck?"

Axel nodded. "As far as I know, yeah. It really happened. And not that long ago - no more than a year or two."

"A-and everyone d-died, didn't they?"

Axel nodded warily. "That's what the song says...29 men total; no survivors."

Demyx held up one hand - it was shaking like a leaf. His whole body felt like it was shaking violently. "No. N-no. P-please..."

Axel stared at him in alarm. "Demyx, what's wrong? You look horrible." Demyx couldn't answer - he curled up in a ball, sobbing brokenly. "Demyx? Come on, say something...what's wrong?" Demyx couldn't even raise his head and look at Axel. He wished he'd never played that song, or visited that beach. He desperately wanted to die.

_I played that song. I called that storm. I sank that ship._

_I killed those men._

* * *

AN: Ehem. Read "The Gales of November".

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized? And I found out just recently that Gordon Lightfoot gave the rights to "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" to the families of the victims, so they're who it belongs to.


	60. In which Axel forcefeeds Demyx

_"The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they call Gitche Gumi - Superior, they said, never gives up her dead when the gales of November come early!"_

As the record wound down and ended, Xigbar shrugged uncomprehendingly. "Well, it sure as hell is a sad song, dude, but I can't see or hear what in it might have made Demyx flip out like that."

Axel shook his head, feeling drained. "I don't either. But flip out is exactly what he did when he heard it. Didn't get all the way through the song, even - he begged me to turn it off about halfway through. He asked me first if it was based on a real shipwreck - it is - and if everyone on board died - they did; you heard the whole thing. Then he just curled up in a ball and started crying. As far as I know, he hasn't said a word since."

"Hasn't eaten in three days, either, which is even more worrying."

"Is that why Vexen won't let him out of the hospital wing?"

Xigbar snorted humorlessly. "Not the only reason. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, dude, but...he's been classified as a potential danger to himself."

Axel blinked uncomprehendingly. "Meaning..."

"Suicide risk. Being treated as such."

Axel stared at him in horror. "...No. Not Demyx. He wouldn't. He couldn't."

Xigbar shook his head, looking bleak. "He might have tried already. Anyone tell you where he was found after he took off running?" Axel shook his head. "Lexaeus found him standing on a little-used balcony, leaning over the rail - pretty damn far over the rail, as I understand. Far enough that it wouldn't have taken much to send him straight over said rail."

"No..." Axel shook his head, feeling sick. "That can't have been what he was there for..."

Xigbar shrugged. "Better safe than sorry. Like you said, he's not talkin' at all, so...can't exactly explain himself."

"Dammit, I wish he would..." Axel groaned. "Is he allowed visitors?"

"Can't think why he wouldn't be, dude. Long as you don't start playing that song."

"Great..." Axel teleported away, but he didn't go straight to the hospital wing. He stopped at the kitchen first, to pick something up, then headed to the hospital wing with it. It took him a few minutes to find Demyx's room - the Melodious Nocturne was still staring blankly at the wall, apparently unaware of his surroundings, up to and including the IVs in his arms. He looked painfully thin and pale, and his eyes were dull. "Hey, Demyx..." No reaction, not even a faint twitch. Axel sighed. "I brought you something..." Still no reaction. Axel shook his head and held the ice cream up to Demyx's lips. Demyx's eyelids flickered slightly in surprise when the cold ice cream touched his skin. "Come on. I know you like it." Demyx closed his eyes and drew back a little, turning his head away. Axel sighed and moved the ice cream so it was touching his lips again. "Come on...you have to eat something...I hate seeing you living off IVs like this..." Demyx moved away again. "Please...just one bite...?"

One second passed in approximately three or four hours. "Fine..." Demyx leaned in and took one little bite of the ice cream. Then he turned his head away again, eyes still closed.

Axel was thrilled - that was the first word he'd said and the first bite of food he'd taken in three days - but he was still deeply worried. "That wasn't much of a bite...you can do better than that..." Demyx opened one eye and glared at him. "Look, I'm sorry I couldn't make...chilli paneer for you, but I can't cook worth shit. So I'm afraid there aren't a whole lot of options besides the ice cream."

"Go away." Demyx closed his eye again.

"Not happening. Now that I finally got you to do something other than curl up in a ball and be miserable."

"Ax..."

"See? Now you're busy being mad at me. You're not so busy being so miserable anymore. Take another bite of the ice cream." Demyx buried his face in his pillow. Axel touched the ice cream to his ear, and he jerked. "Would you rather eat it or listen to it?"

"Dammit, Ax..."

"How badly do you want to live off IVs for the rest of your life? You've already lost enough weight that I can tell. Come on, don't do this to yourself. One more bite."

Demyx turned his head and glared at him. "If I take that bite...will you go away?"

Axel shook his head. "No, I'll keep asking you to take one more bite until the ice cream is all gone."

Demyx groaned. "So...I have to eat the whole thing to make you go away?"

"...Yeah. That's basically it." Axel held out the ice cream again. Demyx continued to glare at him venomously, but he leaned forward and took one more bite. Axel smiled encouragingly and stroked his forehead. "Good..." Demyx groaned and turned his head away again, but Axel moved the ice cream along with him. "Hey, come on...don't do that...work with me here..."

"L-leave me alone, Ax..." Demyx whimpered, trying to keep his mouth away from the ice cream but only succeeding in getting it smeared over his face. "Stop it..."

Axel grabbed his chin and held his head still. "No. I don't care if I have to melt it and pour it down your throat. I'm going to make you eat this if it kills me." Demyx whined and struggled like he was being tortured. "Stop it. I'm not gonna let you waste away in here if I can possibly help it, got it memorized? Now eat."

"Axel, stop..."

"Not until the ice cream is gone." Demyx took one more little bite, then jerked his head away. "Oh, come on..."

"Axel, don't do this!"

Axel grabbed his chin again. "Demyx. Stop. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to keep you from hurting yourself." Demyx whined again. "Please. Knock it off. For the love of Kingdom Hearts, eat the entire goddamn ice cream bar."

Demyx moaned and gave Axel a long-suffering look, but obediently took one more bite of ice cream. "Dammit, Ax...didn't it occur to you there's a reason I wanna be left alone?"

"Yes. But it's not important to me right now. What is important is that you eat. I've finally got you talking - now I just have to get you to feed yourself. Look at you; you've got ice cream all over your face now." Demyx moaned faintly and turned away again, and Axel went back to stroking his forehead. "You're not in pain, are you?" he asked, concerned. Demyx shook his head. "Good..." Axel gently brushed away the tears sliding down Demyx's face and sighed. "Maybe you're not in pain, but you are suffering. What's wrong?"

Demyx took a deep breath. "I c-can't t-tell you."

"Does it have to do with that song?" Demyx nodded. "All right...I won't ask about specifics until Vexen lets you out of here. But that's not gonna happen until you start eating on your own, you realize." Demyx whimpered. "Come on...I miss having sitar music playing next door."

Demyx gave him a tortured look, but he sat up a little and took another, larger bite of ice cream. "If I throw this all back up later, it's your fault."

"Do you feel sick to your stomach right now?"

"No..."

"Then even if it does come back up, it'll do you some good while it's in there. Come on, just eat..."

Demyx blinked up at him in confusion. "Axel, you're crying..."

Axel hastily scrubbed at his eyes. No wonder the world was starting to look a little foggy. "Oh...I didn't realize..."

Demyx sighed heavily and took another bite of ice cream. "I'm sorry."

* * *

AN: ...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", got it memorized?


	61. In which Demyx is gloomy

As Demyx had feared, the ice cream came back up about an hour after Axel left. However, he couldn't bring himself to tell either Axel or Vexen (though Vexen found out the hard way when he came in, much to his displeasure), and when Axel came back an hour after that with a cup of hot chocolate, he forced himself to drink it to make up for the ice cream that wouldn't stay down. Besides, it had huge marshmallows in it. He couldn't resist the huge marshmallows. Especially since Axel had _toasted_ them lightly. He'd never had toasted marshmallows in hot chocolate before - he'd never even _thought_ of toasted marshmallows in hot chocolate before. And, inexplicably...the hot chocolate actually made him feel better somehow.

And when Axel later showed up with a Cricket Lick-It he'd somehow overcome his revulsion for insect candy to buy...well, Demyx just couldn't resist the gesture or the candy.

It was another two days before he ate a complete meal, or managed to smile a little. Eating a complete meal was what led to his being released from the hospital wing, seven pounds lighter, and being released from the hospital wing made him smile a little. But as Axel led him back down to his own room, he wondered if he'd ever really feel okay with himself again.

Axel picked up on his depression. "What's up in there?" he asked gently, ruffling Demyx's hair. Demyx sighed; he no longer wanted to talk. He couldn't bear the thought of telling Axel the truth. Would Axel think less of him for it? Maybe, but probably not. It was Demyx himself who was thinking less of him for it. "Come on, spill..."

Twenty-nine men. Without even knowing it.

"I...I c-can't...t-tell you..."

Axel gave him a hurt look. "Demyx, come on. It has to do with...with that song, right?" Demyx was forced to nod. "What about it?"

Demyx shook his head - he could feel himself starting to come apart at the seams again. "I...I d-don't...oh, dammit..."

"Hey." Even though they were still in the hallway outside their respective rooms, Axel pulled him into a quick hug. "Come on. You can trust me. There's not a whole lot you can tell me that's gonna make me feel any worse about you. It'd have to be pretty bad to outdo some of what I've done."

"Mmph." Demyx buried his face in Axel's shoulder. "You can't have been that bad."

Axel snorted. "Oh, I was pretty damn bad." He softened and led Demyx into his room. "Come on. You get sick easy enough - whatever's eating you, if you hold it in, you'll probably get...tuberculosis or brain cancer or something."

"...The hell?"

"You know what I mean...maybe." Axel sat him down on the bed, then sat down next to him. "So...what was it about that song?" Demyx kept his mouth shut and his gaze elsewhere. "You recognized it...I could tell...but you'd never heard it before, because you didn't know what it was about..." Axel suddenly looked at his feet. "You asked me if it was about a shipwreck..._a shipwreck_...goddamnit. Now I remember. You played it before, didn't you...on that beach...God fucking dammit. No fucking wonder it sounded familiar." Demyx curled up in a ball, sobbing helplessly; it felt like his chest was being torn open from the inside. "You never even knew they were out there, did you..."

"N-no..."

"Dammit. Poor Demyx..." Axel stroked his hair lightly. "No wonder you were so cut up...what a horrible accident..."

"Mmph. Fine. You got it. Happy now?" Demyx said sourly, wishing he could shrivel up and die. It seemed better than continuing to live with himself.

"No. I'm not. My little brother is heartbroken; how am I supposed to be happy?"

Demyx half-rolled over and looked at him. "Heartbroken?...We don't have hearts..."

Axel half-smiled. "You're not acting like you don't have a heart."

Demyx rolled back over, staring at the empty wall. "Feel like it."

Axel hugged him. "Well, according to The People Who Think They Know Everything, without a heart, this shouldn't mean a damn thing to you - you shouldn't be able to care less. But you do care. You care so much it damn near killed you."

"It hurts, Ax." Demyx buried his face in his pillow and sobbed. "It fuckin' hurts."

Axel continued to quietly stroke his hair for a while; Demyx neither knew nor cared for how long. He only noticed suddenly that he was alone in the room. Somehow, this realization only made him cry harder, even though it wasn't like Axel was going to sit there all day and watch him bawl or something. He wondered if maybe he could cry himself completely dry, and whether that would kill him, then wondered if he was going to find out, then decided that didn't sound so bad. Then something tapped his shoulder, and forcibly rolled him over when he didn't respond, and Axel handed him a cup of hot chocolate with toasted marshmallows in it. He smiled and shrugged apologetically. "It was the only thing I could think of."

* * *

AN: Hot chocolate always works in a pinch.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	62. In which Axel asks a strange question

"Is your immune system just extremely susceptible to stress or what?"

Demyx's response, in its entirety, sounded very much like "Mmph...bleh...leave me 'lone..."

Axel ruffled his hair lightly. "No can do, little brother. Someone's gotta take care of you when you do this to yourself."

Demyx buried his face under the covers. "Leemee 'loooone," he whined.

"Demyx -"

"Pleeeeeease..."

"No." Axel switched to rubbing Demyx's back as the younger Nobody was caught in another coughing fit. "Demyx, why do you hate yourself?"

There was a long pause, and Demyx's unkempt blond head poked out from under the covers. "...What?"

Axel felt a little low even asking the question, but he felt like it had to be asked - it was pretty obvious he did. "Why do you hate yourself?" he repeated.

Demyx looked up at him in confusion. "I...I don't...I can't. No heart."

Axel hugged his feverish body gently. "Look, if even I managed to pick up on it, it's pretty obvious you have some issue going on in there. It's not just guilt about the shipwreck. This is an ongoing problem. I can count the number of things I think you like about yourself on the fingers of one hand, and one of them is your hairstyle."

Demyx blinked at him. "What are the other four?"

"There's only two. Your ability to play sitar, and your ability to compose."

"Mmph. Add guitar and violin to the list, and you're up to four." Demyx buried his head under the covers again.

"I noticed you didn't argue with me there." Demyx curled up and started coughing again. "Are you just trying to avoid talking to me by covering yourself with these coughing fits?"

"I'm sick. S'why I'm coughing."

"That's not what I asked." Axel sighed heavily. "Come on. Talk to me."

"Mmph. You asked a stupid question."

"I did not. You're just refusing to answer."

"Bleh." Demyx curled up under the blankets. "Stupid question."

"Demyx..."

"M'tired..."

Axel smoothed his hair back gently. "Probably ought to check your temp again..." He handed Demyx the thermometer - Axel couldn't hold it himself because his presence could drastically skew the results. Demyx looked less than thrilled, but he obediently stuck the thermometer in his mouth, and actually nodded off with it still in place. He jerked a little in surprise when it beeped with results. Axel half-smiled as he took it, but his face fell a bit when he read it. "103.5. Not that great."

Demyx shrugged weakly. "Meh..."

"Oh, curb your enthusiasm, you little invalid. Granted, I don't know what you're supposed to be enthusiastic about." Demyx opened his mouth and took a breath, as if he was going to say something, but started coughing violently instead. Axel frowned in alarm as he rubbed the younger Nobody's back. "If you cough up a lung, I'm hauling you straight back to Vexen, got it memorized?"

Demyx finally caught his breath, pressing a hand to his chest as if the coughing fit had been acutely painful. "N-not yet...I don't think..." He lay back down, tears trickling from his eyes. "So...why'd you ask that stupid question?"

"Because you worry me sometimes."

"Mmph...why?"

"Because the simplest comment can send you into a depressive spiral. You don't really seem to believe you can do anything well that doesn't involve music, if the way you blush and stutter any time anyone gives you a compliment is anything to go by. You apologize for everything, from weather to plumbing leaks, and when you actually do something worth apologizing for, you practically go into this bowing and scraping ritual. And when you find out you might have had something to do with something really bad - and there's a good chance it wasn't entirely your fault, or even any your fault; really bad storms are more the rule up there than the exception - you completely come apart at the seams. You stopped eating and talking for three days." Axel hugged him quietly, wondering how to say the next part. "I...even heard you tried to...go over a balcony rail..."

Demyx sat up a little and hid his face, not in his pillow or bedding, but in Axel's arm. "No...I was thinking about it, though..."

Axel hugged him a little tighter. "Glad you didn't get the chance."

"Mmph."

"You say that a lot, don't you."

"Mmph."

"Come on, Demyx..." Demyx let go of Axel's sleeve and fell back on his pillow, coughing explosively. Axel sighed and waited until the violent fit was over. "Damn. Still got both lungs?"

Demyx groaned. "Seen any Lungless around? If not, I think so..."

It took Axel a good minute and a half to get the joke and start laughing. By then, Demyx had curled up and gone to sleep.

* * *

AN: And how long will it take you to get the joke?


	63. In which Demyx goes hiking

This mission had been a lot more fun earlier in the day. It had started out a nice, relaxing hike through the forest, somewhere in the New World far away from current human habitation, and go check out a particular ancient site rumored to be the home of a new and previously unknown type of Heartless. He wasn't supposed to get to said ruins until the next day, and if he found the new Heartless in question, he wasn't supposed to pick a fight, just look around and come back.

_To think I'd actually looked forward to this,_ Demyx thought. He'd spent his whole life in cities, from India to the United States to the World that Never Was; forests, and hiking through them, were entirely novel experiences for him. And, for the first few - actually, the first several hours, it had been as much fun as he'd expected. Not so much now, though. Now the novel, exciting, and invigorating parts had all worn off, and he himself had worn out. His backpack had gained fifty pounds, he was sweating like a pig and starting to smell like it, his feet, legs, and back ached horribly, and his route had been going more and more uphill all day. Now the thought of more of the same tomorrow, instead of lifting his spirits, made him want to cry, throw up, or both. Hell, finding a level enough spot to pitch a pup tent seemed beyond him.

_Why in Kingdom Hearts's name didn't they send Saix? I get the impression a two-day hike wouldn't faze him too much..._

Demyx groaned as the next part of the trail started to look less like hiking than mountain climbing. Lacking any other option, he started dragging himself up the steep slope, trying to ignore how his enormously heavy backpack weighed him down. When he finally dragged himself all the way up the slope, he found himself on a plateau, approximately ten feet by ten feet - perfect for camping on, except it was still daylight and he wasn't supposed to stop until nightfall; otherwise he'd be out there for three days instead of two. On one side was the steep slope he'd just climbed up, on two sides were more steep slopes he'd have to climb up to get away from the plateau, and on the last side was a narrow but deep gorge leading to a larger plateau and gentler slopes. If he could get across the gorge, he'd have a much easier time the rest of the way. Now if only he could manage that - at no point did it seem narrow enough to jump easily. Of course, there was nothing so convenient as a bridge anywhere he could see.

He propped his backpack against a tree, just to get that damn weight off his back, and walked along the edge of the gorge, looking for any potential way across. He didn't find anything ideal, but he found a large section of tree trunk, wedged about five feet down the rocky face on his side and propped up against the edge on the other side. Maybe it was just crazy enough to work - he'd leave his backpack exactly where it was for now, and cross the gorge and explore ahead without it; if it turned out to be a dead end, he'd rather teleport back to it than waste all that effort lugging it around, and if not, he'd rather teleport back and get it than try to cross the gorge with it. If its weight unbalanced him while he was trying to cross that log...He shuddered involuntarily, not wanting to think too hard about that.

He really, really wished Axel was there. He could have used some reassurance that wouldn't come packaged with criticism.

Holding his breath, he lowered himself down the side of the cliff over the near end of the log, hoping and praying to...to any gods that might listen to Nobodies that he wouldn't lose his grip. He didn't breathe again until he found a solid foothold on the old wood. Then, somehow, magically, he got himself turned around and started to inch his way across the log, using the occasional protruding branch as a handhold. The log, though decaying, seemed sturdy enough to hold his weight and then some, and more stable than he'd expected.

_I might be able to do this,_ he thought.

And then the next branch he grabbed broke away in his hand, and he slid off the log and down, scrabbling helplessly for a handhold even as he spun through empty air. His last thought as the bottom of the gorge raced towards him was a desperate hope that the rest of the Organization would somehow find out what happened to him.

* * *

AN: Um.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	64. In which disaster has already struck

"Demyx! Demyx, are you around here? Can you hear me at all?" Axel listened carefully and heard - nothing. Nothing but birdsong and wind and rustling leaves, and definitely nothing like an answering voice. He felt indescribably lonely all of a sudden - his best and only real friend had fallen off the face of the worlds, and no one had any idea what might have happened to him. The elder members tried to reassure him by saying that if Demyx was dead, his stone in the Proof of Existence would have turned from blue to red, until Axel asked if they'd ever had a member die before so they'd know for sure. That only led to an uncomfortable silence, and a very uncomfortable sensation in the pit of Axel's stomach.

He should have come back by then. He should have come back two days ago.

"Eight, stop wasting your breath...the scent trail is still quite faint and at least four days old."

Axel rubbed his forehead and sighed. "Whatever..." If he'd had to guess which member had the freakishly keen sense of smell, he'd have guessed Saix, not Zexion. Granted, Zexion was better company than Saix, but not by much. He'd have preferred Xigbar; Xigbar wasn't such a prick. "Demyx!" he called again, not really giving a damn about what Zexion said.

"Eight, what did I just -"

"Oh, shove it up your ass and die, you self-important pipsqueak." He didn't really give a damn about what Zexion thought, either. The only response was a deeply offended silence, which he thought was all to the good. "Demyx!" Zexion sighed irritably, but said nothing; considering the mood Axel was in, the Cloaked Schemer might as well have started in on a tirade. "Look, Mr. Omniscient-Dog-Nose, if you're so damn convinced I'm wasting my effort, why don't you go on ahead and look for him?"

There was one reason Zexion was a better companion than Saix. If he'd been with Saix, Axel would have taken his life into his own hands twice over within the space of a minute. Zexion just glared murderously at him. "On the whole, it seems more entertaining to wait while you waste your effort and exhaust yourself totally. If finding Nine was not of the utmost importance, I would willingly do exactly that."

Unable to come up with an appropriately witty response, Axel just turned on his heel and walked up the slope - well, climbed up the slope; walking, per se, was nigh impossible, given how steep it was. The uphill scramble robbed him of much of his dignity, which did nothing to improve his mood. Once he reached the plateau at the top of the slope, he collapsed against the trunk of a tree, sinking to the ground for a few minutes of rest while Zexion continued to pick his fussy way uphill.

Then he saw it. An oversized, bright yellow backpack propped against a tree.

All his energy raced back in an instant. "Demyx? Demyx!" He had to be somewhere, he had to have been _here_, recently, for him to have left his backpack here...why hadn't he come back to retrieve it? The rolled-up tent was still right there with the rest of his gear... "Demyx!" No response. Feeling sick to his stomach, Axel peered down into the gorge that bisected the plateau, lighting a fire in his hand to illuminate the bottom as much as possible.

_No...please...that can't be...that's just a log or something..._

He swallowed hard and portaled down to the bottom, not caring that he couldn't see where he was going and couldn't be sure he was going where he wanted to. He ended up about thirty feet away from the dark shape he'd seen from the top, brightening the fire and racing towards the shape the instant he regained his bearings. His speed doubled as he was finally able to recognize it. "Demyx...no...please..." he whispered, kneeling next to the younger Nobody and stroking his bloodied hair gently. "Please, wake up...Kingdom Hearts, don't do this to me...don't leave me alone here..."

"Mmm-neh...?" One sea-blue eye opened a crack; the other was sealed shut with dried blood. Axel hastily licked a thumb and started rubbing it away. "Ax...wha..."

"Oh, thank God. Thank Kingdom Hearts. Thank what the hell ever. Don't talk. Don't try to move. I thought you were gone..."

"Nehh...n-not yet..." Demyx's other eye was open now.

"Shhh. Not yet, and not anytime soon." Axel wanted to scoop him up and portal home with him, but he knew that would be a bad idea - Demyx could have a broken back or broken neck or something, and moving him could leave him paralyzed for life, or worse. And - Kingdom Hearts, he was burning with fever. He'd been down there for days; he'd probably developed an infection, or heatstroke, or something... "We gotta get you out of here."

Demyx shook his head faintly. "Too l-late..."

A sudden lump of icy cold lead formed in Axel's stomach. "Too late? What do you mean?"

"F-for me...not gonna...m-make it..."

"N-no." Axel took Demyx's left hand - his right arm was in an unnatural position that screamed serious injury - and squeezed it gently; Demyx squeezed back weakly. "You're not - you're not gonna d-die here, got it memorized? Not if I can do anything about it."

Demyx gave him a sad, gentle smile. "Ax...y'can't...'m sorry...j-just wish I...could play...o-one more song..."

"_No,_" Axel said savagely. He'd tried so hard - over a year and a half - the scared little boy he'd worked so hard to befriend and who'd come so far _could not_ die in front of him - "Goddammit, I already lost one brother too soon - I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose you now without a fight!"

Demyx stared up at him, almost in disbelief. "Ax?"

"You _can't_ die! You_ gotta_ make it!" Axel was sobbing now, and didn't care. Around Demyx, it was so easy to forget he wasn't supposed to feel emotions - and the thought of losing his best and thus far only friend was tearing him apart. If only they'd come searching sooner!

"Ax, you're cryin'..." Demyx smiled a little bit more. "Okay...big brother...'f it means s'much t'you...I'll try."

"If? Dammit, you little idiot...if you died, I dunno what the hell I'd do. Probably freeze up and turn into Vexen."

"Heh...that'd suck..."

"Damn straight..." Axel suddenly summoned a tall pillar of flame for a moment, much taller than the gorge was deep. That ought to let Zexion know where he was. "There. Help should come soon." Demyx smiled weakly at him, and the two of them waited, neither one of them willing to leave the other.

* * *

AN: Published early, because I won't have time to publish it tomorrow morning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, got it memorized?


	65. In which Demyx wakes up confused

"...Where am I..."

Demyx felt a light pressure on his forehead. "You're in the hospital wing. How are you feeling?"

"...Sore..." Demyx opened one eye - Axel was leaning over him, looking concerned, afraid, and hopeful. Memories started to trickle back about how he ended up there - the mission, the gorge, the log, the fall, the days spent trapped at the bottom of the gorge, injured, immobilized, and puking something that looked like coffee grounds, with no food and no hope of survival, waking up on the fourth day to find Axel leaning over him...and not a hell of a lot after that. He must have been out cold - maybe anesthetized. Well, if he had been anesthetized, it was wearing off - his everything was starting to hurt, especially his head, ankle, shoulder, and stomach. Oh, yeah, he'd dislocated his shoulder again. He'd recognized the sensation from the last time it had happened. And on top of that, he felt weak, nauseated, and feverish. "How long've I been here?"

"Just overnight, so far. You scared the shit out of me, I hope you know. When I found you down there, I was sure you were dead."

Demyx shook his head, making it pound even more fiercely. The pain made him feel even sicker. "No...no such luck..."

"I think it was pretty damn lucky." Axel looked oddly tired, like he hadn't slept all night. "Ready to hear the damage total, now that you're supposedly all fixed up?" Demyx nodded warily. "Well, the biggest issue was internal bleeding..." Axel swallowed hard. "This is just what I heard secondhand from Vexen by way of Xigbar, but apparently you'd lost a lot of blood without there being any obvious sign. If you weren't a water elementalist, it probably would have killed you...good thing blood is mostly water...and you got a bad infection, but I guess that's getting better to, now that you're actually getting medical care." He swallowed again. "Other than that, you had a bad concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and a badly broken ankle. Nothing really...life-threatening."

Nothing life-threatening? What the hell was Axel saying? "Sounds bad to me..."

Axel smiled weakly and ruffled his hair gently. "You'll live. That's the important part. Hope you like the extra blood."

"...The hell?"

Axel's face twisted a little. "...Yeah. Apparently, between the injury and the surgery, you'd lost enough blood that Vexen started asking for willing donors. It's not like he could call up the blood bank or get a unit out of the fridge...I volunteered. Good thing I'm type O."

Demyx could feel his face turn a little pale. "H-how much?"

Axel shrugged. "Just a pint. That's all Vexen would let us donate."

"Us? Who else..."

"Saix and Xigbar, I think."

"Oh..." Demyx said in a very small voice, then abruptly gagged violently. The thought of losing or being given all that blood had intensified his nausea to the breaking point. Nothing came up, probably because nothing had gone in for days.

Axel rubbed his back with a concerned expression. "Don't do that," he admonished gently. "You might pop your stitches or something."

Demyx moaned, clutching his stomach with his good arm. "Fuck...hurts...so damn bad..." he gasped, tears rolling unnoticed from his eyes.

Axel sighed sadly. "All right...I'll go ask Vexen about maybe getting you some painkillers. You just work on getting yourself repaired, got it memorized? I think we've had enough consecutive crises for a while."

* * *

AN: Ouch.

Disclaimer: How often should I post one in one story?


	66. Which contains an announcement

When Axel heard the first soft notes, interfering with the sounds of his video game, he didn't remember what they were or where they were coming from at first. It suddenly hit him that to his knowledge, Demyx hadn't so much as summoned his sitar for anything but fighting since he'd found out about the _Edmund Fitzgerald_. Axel had almost forgotten what it sounded like. Unable to resist, he paused his game and silently crossed into the other room.

Demyx, as he was now remembering was pretty usual, didn't seem to realize he was there for several minutes - he continued to play quite contentedly, occasionally pausing to write something down. It was a familiar scene, one that Axel was only just realizing he hadn't seen for too long, only marred by the fact that Demyx was seated with one leg straight out and a cast on his ankle, instead of sitting cross-legged as usual. "Is it any harder to play like that?" Axel asked curiously.

Demyx jerked, startled. "Oh - Ax - hi...didn't know you were there..."

Axel shrugged. "Didn't mean to bother you. I was just listening in." He sat down on Demyx's bed as the musician went back to composing. "Been a while since I heard you play last," he said conversationally.

Demyx shrugged. "I...I haven't...really been inspired recently, I guess. Not until just these past few days." He strummed a few more notes, then wrote them down on his staff paper. "You know...most of the time, when I was stuck in that gorge, all I really wanted to do, besides get out of there alive, was play. And I couldn't, because my shoulder was dislocated and it hurt like hell to move." He shook his head. "I fully expected to die down there, and I just wanted to play one last song."

"I know," Axel said softly. "You told me so."

Demyx blinked in confusion. "What? When?"

"When we were down there. You thought you were dying, I guess."

Demyx started to turn a little red. "I...I don't remember that."

"You were probably at least a little delirious. You were really messed up." Axel leaned over and ruffled his hair. "Good thing you're all back together now. Well, except the ankle, but that'll fix itself too, sooner or later."

Demyx nodded. "Yeah...and to answer your first question, it is harder to play like this, because it's harder to keep the sitar in place. I kind of managed to adjust to it, though. The cast makes it really hard to sit cross-legged comfortably."

"I can imagine." Axel stretched out on the bed, totally unfazed by the fact that it was Demyx's bed and not his own. "Just imagine, though - what if you'd had a dislocated ankle and a broken shoulder?"

"...Then I would be in a world of hurt right now, but I'd be playing as long as my arm wasn't in a cast."

"You know, I believe you one hundred percent." Axel listened patiently as Demyx continued to work on his composition, appreciating each snatch of music as it was played and transcribed. He wasn't able to appreciate the work as a whole, however, until Demyx finally completed his work and started playing it through. It was - not frightening; it was frightened. Frightened and lost and alone and in pain and...and...and _dying_. As the music seemed to wind down, it was pervaded by a deep, all-encompassing sense of hopelessness and regret and resignation, until Axel was tempted to cry.

Then, just as the music had reached its most depressing...there came hope, so sudden and so unexpected it was accompanied by not only disbelief, but denial. The pain intensified briefly, but the hope remained, while the denial and fear and loneliness and the rest faded away. The pain never went away, but the music strengthened, and the hope was joined by joy and relief and a deep, intense gratitude that was almost powerful enough to induce tears all by itself. As the song ended on a high, triumphant note, Axel had to go give Demyx a hug. "You're welcome," he murmured.

"Thank you," Demyx murmured back. The exchange might have seemed odd to someone who didn't know what was going on, but to the two of them, it made perfect sense.

* * *

AN: Also, on Saturday, I'll be leaving for a month's vacation. My Internet access during this time will be dubious at best.


	67. Which is just another chapter

Demyx hadn't realized how little time he'd had to spend playing and composing recently until he suddenly had all the time in the worlds, and a chance to realize how much he'd missed it. Granted, that came along with breaking his ankle so badly it had to be held together with pins and screws; it really would have been preferable to get a break without having to hurt himself seriously first. Oh, well; some good came out of everything. If he couldn't walk, train, or do missions, at least he could play and compose. And it was kind of fun having Axel fussing over him all the time.

"If it weren't for me, you'd never eat, I swear," Axel grumbled.

"Hey, when you had a broken arm and broken ribs, I never complained about having to take care of you, did I? Wait, you wouldn't remember; you were high on painkillers half the time, weren't you."

Axel stuck his tongue out. "I wasn't complaining about taking care of you. I was complaining about you."

"That's not very nice." Demyx closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment, trying to listen to how the music wanted to go. The answer surprised him a little - the peaceful music suddenly became rather more upbeat - but he liked it, and it did flow. After running it through his head a few times, he wrote it down. It had a nice, cheerful tone that he looked forward to playing later. "That is nice," he murmured to himself.

"Are you talking to me still, or to yourself?"

"Huh? Just to myself..." Demyx hummed softly as the music continued - now it was something he'd like to dance to, if he could. "I wish I could stand up and dance," he sighed.

"Ever try dancing on crutches?" Axel asked cheekily.

"Bite me..." The music sank to reflect his disappointment, but Demyx refused to write it down like that. Instead he read and reread what he'd already written, trying to lift his mood before continuing. When it tried to go back to a dance tune, he resisted that too. Bad idea - the music stopped completely. "Ahh - dammit..."

"This may sound like a ridiculous question, but - why do you keep talking to yourself like that?"

"I'm composing," Demyx grumbled. "I'm trying to come up with something that is neither depressing nor makes me want to dance...and right now, I'm not having much luck coming up with something that isn't one or the other."

"Right..." Axel rolled his eyes. "See, that's why you need me. If it weren't for me, you'd let yourself starve while trying to perfect a composition or something."

"Ax -"

"It's true, isn't it? Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah, it's..." Demyx looked up at the clock and got a surprise. "Oh...it's...almost dinnertime."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "See? You keep working on that, and I'll bring something back from dinner." He stood up, headed for the door, and almost walked right into Xigbar.

"There you are, dude," Xigbar said conversationally, while Axel was still trying to regain his bearings. "The boss just called an emergency meeting."

Axel sighed. "Wonderful...Demyx, grab your crutches..."

"He doesn't have to come, dude."

"What?" Axel and Demyx said at the same time.

"Standard operating procedure. Members on the disabled list are exempt from meetings, emergency or otherwise, unless specifically ordered to make an appearance."

Demyx blinked in surprise. "Okay. I didn't know that..."

Axel rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Great. I'll see you later, then. I'll bring food, too, if I get the chance."

"Later," Demyx said distractedly. He was already thinking about his thwarted composition again.


	68. In which Axel plays the hero

Axel suddenly realized, out of the blue, that Luxord had been there for almost a year already - and that it wasn't too long before Demyx's seventeenth birthday. His sixteenth had blown by them both, and he was resolved not to let that happen again. If he hurried through this mission, he might have time today to run into Twilight Town or somewhere and pick up a present, depending on when Saix and Xigbar got back with the new member and how long his or her introductory meeting took. Demyx was still laid up with a broken ankle, and had been keeping to his own room for the most part; Axel could just tell him his mission had taken longer than expected if he came back late. He was determined to make this a surprise.

This didn't look like such a tough mission anyway. It seemed a pleasant, fairy-tale-ish world, sleeping peacefully under a full, round moon and a pleasantly starry sky, except for a bit of ongoing merriment in the town tavern. He was supposed to be investigating Heartless activity; he didn't think there was enough darkness in this world to attract Heartless. He'd probably have enough time to stop at the tavern for a drink, assuming the public room didn't close well before midnight - the town seemed so charmingly innocent that it just might. Food and drink in this type of world was always good; he hoped he'd get a shot at some.

He was still standing there wondering if he could finish the mission in the hour or two left before this world's midnight when the Creatures started pouring out of the forest. He wasn't sure how to describe them, other than as Creatures - four feet tall, gleaming red eyes, disproportionately long arms, disproportionately large and numerous weapons. They started hacking at the doors of the nearest dark houses, and the town suddenly filled with screams, and the world no longer seemed so pleasant or innocent.

Axel summoned his chakrams without really thinking about it. He flung them both at the Creatures, leaving trails of fire through the night, as sleepy-eyed men and boys stumbled out of houses and tavern with knives and heavy sticks and other thoroughly inadequate-looking weapons. He scored two solid hits, but the firelight revealed more of the Creatures than he'd expected; he'd thought there were about a dozen and a half, but now there looked to be forty or more. Feeling a little sick, he resummoned his chakrams and ran at the Creatures, throwing jets of flame ahead of him. The Creatures screamed and gibbered inhumanly as their comrades burned, then they swarmed up to encircle Axel. Abruptly surrounded and now wondering if he was going to get out of here alive, Axel twisted around, spinning, slashing, and burning, trying to at least keep the Creatures at bay. Finally, he was too exhausted to keep up his dance of death, and was forced to drop his weapons - and realized the Creatures were all either dead or fled.

"You've saved us. Thank you, fire mage."

Axel blinked and realized that now the townspeople were encircling him, their eyes bright with gratitude. "Oh...uh...you're welcome. Anytime." He dispelled his chakrams, and as if that was the signal, the townspeople dragged him off to the tavern for an impromptu celebration. He didn't even have time to figure out what was going on, let alone protest, before he found himself seated at the best table in the tavern while every housewife in town fought to offer him the best selections from her pantry and every single girl fought for the right to wait on him. And, of course, the tavern keeper had the ale flowing freely, and all those single girls made very sure Axel's mug was always full.

_Talk about an unexpected turn of events,_ Axel thought to himself. _Or talk about right place at the right time._ Normally, trying to play the hero with their powers was strongly discouraged by the Superior, as they were likely enough to be endangered or injured during the regular course of their assigned missions, and there were more than a few worlds where Nobodies would be killed on sight as soon as they were found out. He hadn't really been able to help himself this time, but - amazingly enough - he was uninjured, he was the great hero and the toast of the town for a night, and it was damned unlikely that anyone here would find out he didn't have a heart. In fact, it seemed like the worst thing that could happen to him right then was getting drunk off his ass.

He had to admit, as his mug was refilled for the third or fourth time, that was looking pretty likely. That was the thing about fairy-tale-ish worlds; they really loved their heroes.

* * *

AN: Next chapter will come God-knows-when.


	69. In which Demyx has a bad day

"Uh, dude...hate to interrupt you, but...we're really gonna need you at this meeting."

Demyx blinked in confusion at Xigbar, setting aside his composition. "I thought the disabled didn't have to show up..."

"Unless specifically asked. I'm specifically askin'."

"Um...why? Presumably beyond just meeting the new guy?"

Xigbar sighed. "You'll see when you get there, kid...trust me, it's gonna be pretty obvious. Just grab your crutches and go."

Not seeing anything else to do, Demyx dispelled his sitar, picked up his crutches, and limped his way to the meeting room. Just outside his destination, he met a disturbingly androgynous person with a slightly bewildered expression and undeniably pinkish hair, wearing obviously new and somewhat ill-fitting robes - obviously the new...uh, guy. "You must be the new member," he said, in an attempt to be friendly - and gender-neutral. "My name is Demyx."

The newcomer raised an eyebrow. "You may address me as Ramaliu," he said in a voice far too deep to be female, "at least for the time being."

Demyx blinked. "Pleased to meet you," he said, thrown off a bit by Ramaliu's manner. "Um, where are you from?"

"The world of Etrylar...I was a prince of the Elven kingdom of Sarilan..." Ramaliu replied in a tone that smacked of self-importance. "And yourself?"

Demyx swallowed hard. Assuming Ramaliu wasn't bullshitting him, there was no way his more-than-humble origins could measure up to that. "I'm from Earth...I was a busker."

"A...busker?"

"A street musician."

"Oh." Ramaliu recoiled, almost visibly. "Were you," he added with obvious disdain. "How...interesting." That was delivered with something very close to a sneer. "And...you will outrank me?" _A little street rat like you?_ he might as well have added.

Demyx could feel his face flushing all the way to his collar. He'd spent most of his life being treated like he'd been scraped off someone's shoe, undergoing humiliation after humiliation day after day. Normally being sneered at and talked down to like that would have left him staring at his shoes, mumbling his words, and retreating into corners for the rest of the day.

"Yes, I will outrank you, because I've been here for almost two years and I'm not sure you've even been here two hours yet!" he snapped, surprising himself even more than Ramaliu. "Just where the hell do you get off, wandering in here and hoping to just trample on me just because you were born in a palace and I wasn't? My life was a fucking hellhole before I got here! I was keeping my own ass fed and sheltered at the age of eleven because I had exactly no one to pander to my every whim! As far as straight-up quality of life goes, losing my heart was probably the best thing that ever happened to me! So you got everything handed to you right from the cradle - great! But don't expect me to fall at your feet in reverence just because that's what you're used to!" Then he turned around and limped into the meeting room, wondering where in Kingdom Hearts _that_ totally uncharacteristic outburst had come from.

Almost as soon as he teleported into his seat, Xigbar appeared right next to him, standing on thin air as if it was solid ground. "Wow, sure tore him a new one, didn't you? What'd he say to set you of all people off like that?"

"Not so much anything he said as his attitude...like 'ew, what did I step in that I'm scraping _you_ off my shoe?'." Xigbar chuckled appreciatively. "So, why did I absol - ohhhh." Demyx looked across the room and saw Axel, sprawled in his own seat. Axel giggled and waved at them, quite obviously three sheets to the wind. "My God..." Demyx groaned. "Axel, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Noshin'," Axel drawled. "I feel...pretty damn good ri'now. I gotta shay."

Demyx looked at Xigbar in horror. Xigbar sighed and shrugged apologetically. "Your purpose in being called to this meeting is - make sure he doesn't set himself or anyone or anything else on fire. If he does, put it out."

Axel, who was listening in, frowned at Xigbar. "Thash not ver' nishe," he complained.

Demyx almost burst into tears.

* * *

AN: Okay, _this_ is the last chapter before I leave. Scheduled departure time is somewhere around the crack of dawn, so I'm publishing this tonight. Also, I do not like Marluxia. You know, just in case that wasn't already clear.


	70. In which Axel wakes up hungover

The first thing Axel was aware of was that his mouth tasted like vomit. The second thing was that his head was pounding horribly. The third thing was how damn _bright_ the lights were in his room - mind-bendingly, painfully bright.

The fourth thing, of course, was that he had a wicked hangover. The fifth was that Demyx was standing next to his bed, glaring at him. "I hope you're proud of yourself," he snapped in a way-too-loud voice. "That was an absolutely _brilliant_ performance at that meeting. And way to impress the new guy while you're at it. I think you might have scarred poor Marluxia for life."

Axel threw a hand over his eyes, trying to block some of the brightness. "The fuck're you talking about?" he mumbled.

Demyx crossed his arms angrily; his attitude and tone reminded Axel of Zexion. "I refer specifically to you showing up at the new guy's first meeting _drunk off your scrawny ass_." Axel flinched and covered his ears. "Now, would you like specifics or should I just leave your intoxicated antics up to your imagination?"

"Oh, Kingdom Hearts..." What the hell had he been thinking? He'd been drunk - well, obviously; it was hard to get a hangover by staying sober - which wasn't all that bright in and of itself, but showing up drunk at a meeting? Especially the new guy's first meeting? "The hell did I do?"

"Mostly played the drunken fool," Demyx reported with mixed disgust and relish. "Highlights included puking all over yourself and setting your own pants on fire. By the way, Xigbar told me specifically to show up even though I'm on crutches, just in case you did something like that. Good thing, too."

Axel's head was pounding even more fiercely now, and his stomach was starting to get in on the act. "Kingdom Hearts..."

"What the fuck were you doing, getting crocked before 5:00 in the afternoon?" Demyx exploded abruptly. "Especially since you would have been just coming back from a mission at that point?!"

Axel covered his ears again. "Kingdom Hearts, I'm beggin' you, not so loud...show a little mercy already..."

"What were you doing getting drunk on a mission?"

Axel searched the depths of his aching brain, trying to recall exactly what the mission had been and how it had ended in intoxication. Unfortunately, the alcohol had taken its toll on even his steel-trap memory; he was forced to admit he had nary a clue. "Fuck...I dunno...can't remember." He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"Oh, you think?"

"Every so often...it's not a consistent thing."

"I noticed..." Demyx sighed, suddenly looking weary, and sat down on the end of Axel's bed. "Well, now our pink-haired, androgynous newbie thinks you're an insatiable lush who probably never sobers up on his own." He shrugged listlessly. "Of course, he thinks I'm a worthless little piece of street trash who really should have been kept in his place - you should have seen the look on his face when he realized the little piece of street trash was going to outrank him. Like a dog just did something on his best shoes."

Despite the hangover, Axel chuckled slightly. "Sounds like an elitist, self-important prick to me. Not the kind of guy I'd be in a hurry to make friends with anyway. Besides, if you sort through street trash long enough, you can find some real treasure." Demyx suddenly flushed bright red. "...I didn't mean that the way I think it came out..."

* * *

AN: A chapter! All the way from Utah!


	71. In which Demyx is way too tired

"This isn't the original map you were sent out with..."

Demyx nodded wearily. "I know. That one fell in a mud puddle, so I improvised with the ones they had at the trolley stops."

"Sensible...so the largest concentrations of Heartless are in - Nine, do you need to report to the medical wing?"

Demyx caught himself just in time - he'd been about to fall asleep on his feet, and judging from the way Xemnas's amber eyes were boring into him, the Superior knew it. "Uh...n-no, sir...I just...didn't get much sleep last night." He was blushing, he knew, but there wasn't much he could do about that either.

Xemnas looked rather less than impressed. "How much sleep constitutes 'not much'?"

Demyx scratched his head, struggling not to yawn and wishing he could sink into the floor. "Well...none, really."

"None," Xemnas repeated in a flat tone. "Dare I ask what you spent the night doing instead of sleeping?" he asked in a way that implied Demyx had better have a really good answer.

Unfortunately, he didn't, and he knew it. "...Composing..." he said in a small voice.

He swayed a little, either from exhaustion or from the intensity of the Superior's glare. "- came to a combat situation, I cannot be certain whether the results you provided are reliable, or whether your exhaustion has rendered them inaccurate to the point of uselessness. The mission will most likely need to be repeated simply to verify your results."

Demyx blinked furiously. He'd missed the first part of whatever Xemnas had said - maybe he'd blacked out for an instant - but he'd heard enough to understand that the mission would have to be redone, just as if he'd straight-up failed it, because Xemnas didn't think his results could be trusted. "But - I -"

"May now have cause to think twice before forgoing a night's sleep in favor of entertainment? Dismissed. Get some rest."

Demyx sighed - there wasn't anything to argue with there, because damn it, the Superior was probably right. He trudged listlessly out of the office and opened a portal back to his room, intending to get some sleep before he simply fell over. It wasn't until he found himself in Axel's room that he realized exhaustion might have taken a larger toll on him than he'd originally thought. "Demyx, are you okay? You look sick," Axel said, looking up from his magazine.

Demyx shook his head, tempted to just fall on Axel's floor and sleep there. "No...I'm just really tired," he mumbled.

Axel eyed him questioningly. "Did you...need me for anything, or...?"

Demyx shook his head again - the world seemed to spin a little bit as he did so. "No...I'm just so tired I can't make a portal go where I want it to."

Axel nodded warily. "You must be _damn_ tired."

"I am..." Demyx found himself swaying again, and caught himself. "Superior already chewed me out for it..."

"Demyx?"

"Huh?" Demyx blinked, suddenly aware that he'd zoned out for a second - again.

Axel gave him a long-suffering look. "Please, for your own sake, get your ass to bed before you pass out. If you try to stay up and play sitar again, I swear I'm going to come in there and knock you out."

Demyx stared stupidly at him for a long moment. Then, for reasons unknown even to himself, he began to giggle. Soon, he was staggering against the wall, giggling hysterically and knowing he was being an idiot, but totally unable to help himself. Even when Axel grabbed him by the elbows and physically propelled him back to his own room, he didn't stop giggling until his head hit the pillow and he went straight to sleep.

* * *

AN: Exhaustion makes you do stupid things. It also makes you write stupid chapters.


	72. In which Axel goes shopping

Demyx's total exhaustion was so obvious Axel didn't waste very much time making sure he was really asleep. Almost as soon as his eyes closed, Axel was out of there, en route to Twilight Town. Demyx's birthday was no more than a week away, and he had done exactly no shopping. Since his sixteenth had blown by them both unremarked, Axel was determined his seventeenth would at least have a cake and a couple presents.

Unfortunately, even in the middle of one of his favorite shopping districts in the worlds, he was completely devoid of ideas. T-shirts with wiseass sayings on them? Demyx bought enough of those for himself; Axel couldn't be sure he wasn't picking up a repeat. Decorative collector's knives? Axel loved them, but Demyx had never seemed interested - "not seeming interested" being short for "couldn't care less if he tried". Books? Axel wasn't much of a reader himself; he knew Demyx liked a good book every so often, but he couldn't think what kind of books he liked to save his life. Video games? Demyx only played when Axel begged him to, and he wasn't much good at anything even then, except Guitar Hero. And Axel's copy was the only one they needed. Agate bookends? Oh, please.

Eventually Axel found himself pacing restlessly up and down the sidewalk, totally ignoring everyone he accidentally crowded into benches or walls or each other, trying to think what the hell he could get Demyx that Demyx would actually appreciate. What was Demyx's main interest? Music, duh. But everything Axel knew about music came from either talking to Demyx or playing Guitar Hero. He thought maybe Demyx would appreciate an electric guitar and a set of amps, since the guitar he currently had was acoustic, but he did have a budget limit. And he didn't know what CDs he did or didn't already own any more than he knew what T-shirts were in his closet.

He finally looked up, and found himself standing in front of a large candy store - one that had scorpion lollipops and chocolate-covered ants prominently displayed on a back shelf that was clearly visible through the window. He took an automatic step back in revulsion, almost fell backwards over a bench, and then realized - Demyx, having such odd tastes as he did, actually liked bug candy, or at least thought it was interesting. As a matter of fact, it was in front of this store, almost two years ago, that a still very reticent and unfriendly Demyx had quite cheerfully tormented him past the point of nausea with descriptions of all the insect-filled "goodies" he could see.

_I wonder if he still remembers._

Fifteen minutes later, with a bag of chocolate-covered crickets and mealworm-containing lollipops that he'd managed to buy despite almost throwing up in the middle of the store, Axel was back to pacing and thinking. Sure, the bug candy was funny, but in and of itself it wasn't much of a birthday gift. Since he'd seen every store in this block six or seven times, he started walking in one direction, only casually glancing at the stores he passed - none of them seemed to hold the answer he was looking for anyway. The next time he looked up, he was standing outside a pet store at the edge of downtown, where the stores gave way to houses. He sighed and turned around, preparing to go back the other way and actually pay attention this time, otherwise the candy would be all Demyx got out of him.

And then he saw the goldfish.


	73. In which Demyx gets a surprise

When Demyx woke up, it totally escaped him that today was anything special. He rolled out of bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and spent a few minutes playing sitar before actually getting started on the day. It woke him up a little, but not very much, and he stumbled into the shower still barely aware of what was going on around him. He didn't even see the goldfish until he was drying off; even then, it took him a minute and a half to actually notice it and ask himself "What in Kingdom Hearts's name is a goldfish doing on the bathroom counter?"

He stared at it, baffled. It was a very ordinary goldfish, in a very ordinary fishbowl, with absolutely nothing extraordinary about it save for its absurd location. On closer inspection, he found a Post-It note attached to the counter behind the bowl.

_Meet Chompers. Happy birthday. See you at breakfast._

The note wasn't signed, but Demyx didn't need a signature to know who left it. He could see himself blushing furiously in the mirror, but he didn't care. He'd have hugged the little fish if he could. "How did I forget it was my birthday again?" he wondered aloud.

Just then, he heard, or thought he heard, a soft whooshing sound like a portal opening and closing on either side of him. He looked around pointlessly, but didn't hear anything else, and decided he was just hearing things. When he went back to his room to get dressed, he found half a dozen mealworm lollipops arranged symmetrically around a box of chocolate-covered ants, and laughed until he cried.

"Take it you like the candy - I thought you - _shit! Sonofabitch - sorry!_" Axel shut the door as quickly as he'd opened it as Demyx scrambled to cover himself. "Sorry! I was thinking you'd at least have _something_ on by now!"

With that impetus, Demyx dressed in record time, and opened the door fully dressed while Axel's face was still every bit as red as his hair. "Sorry...it's just...it was such a surprise...and the fish..." He suddenly realized he'd left the goldfish bowl in the bathroom, and went and retrieved it while Axel was still trying to regain his composure. "He's so cute...but why Chompers?"

Axel shrugged, his face starting to return to its normal color. "I dunno...it sounded cute, I guess. Oh, and...happy birthday. I just wanted to tell you in person. I wish I'd had a little more time to shop, seeing as how I missed the last one completely..."

As soon as Chompers and his bowl were resting stably on Demyx's desk, he went over and hugged Axel tightly. "Axel, this is already the best birthday I've had in years. Hell, it's the first real birthday I've had in years. It's great. It's wonderful. It's better than I ever expected." He looked up, and saw that Axel was just as red as ever.

"You deserve an extra-special one, then," he murmured. Then he coughed and straightened up a little. "All right, we better go down to breakfast...guess I better keep my fingers crossed that I don't get a mission today...well, even if I do, we can have some fun after you get back. Go out for the day, go out to dinner, get whatever strange and exotic food your little taste buds desire but can't usually get. I'm sorry I haven't the faintest idea where to find you any strange and exotic stringed instruments, though maybe you do."

"I don't mind. Seriously. I haven't had an actual birthday in..." Demyx counted on his fingers. "Six years."

"You, sir, are way overdue, got it memorized? Come on. I got work to do." Axel grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down to the kitchen, grinning broadly.


	74. In which Axel is really not happy

_Ugh...tonight's lesson is, all things in moderation...especially spicy Indian food..._

Well, maybe if he'd had sense enough to pass on the ice cream and cake, Axel would be far less uncomfortable right now. Or just eaten less of everything. But the lamb Madras Demyx had insisted he try was so damn good, and he hadn't been in a position to ask for a take-home container...spicy as hell, but damn good...

Of course, he'd liked it better when he wasn't tasting it in the back of his throat every time he moved. No food is nearly as good when it's trying to come back up.

Axel rolled over onto his side, which put the least pressure on his overfilled stomach, and listened to the faint snores from the next room. Demyx had sense. Demyx hadn't eaten more than half the amount Axel had - smaller portion at dinner, smaller slice of cake, less ice cream - and was now sleeping quite contentedly. Axel envied him deeply just then.

Moaning faintly, he sat up to reach for the bottle of Pepto-Bismol, and his stomach contents nearly forced their way out. He had to swallow hard to keep everything down, including the Pepto-Bismol. "Just about serves me right," he groaned out loud.

The snoring next door had stopped. It was soon replaced by hesitant footsteps, and then the bathroom door creaked. "Ax, are you all right?"

Axel eased himself back down onto the bed - simply flopping down would have been too violent for his system just then. "Blah...I will be sooner or later...but right now I'm thinking later."

Demyx took a few hesitant steps into the room. "What's wrong?"

"Indigestion, is all. Too much lamb Madras, not enough sense."

Demyx sounded a little stricken. "I thought you liked it..."

"While I was eating it, I loved it. Now that I'm having to fight to keep it down, I'm not quite so fond of it."

Something wet and cool started to trickle down Axel's forehead, and he batted a hand at it. "It's just water," Demyx said softly. "I thought maybe you could use something to cool you down a little, and maybe take your mind off your stomach."

Axel wasn't sure where the sense in that was, but he wasn't sure where it wasn't either, and he felt too miserable to check. "Long as you don't get my pillow all wet, I guess," he mumbled. "Ugh...teach me to eat so damn much at a time..."

"I'd have figured that if anyone could handle it, you could. You eat so much most of the time..."

"Most of the time, I'm not eating super-spicy Indian food I've never tried before, and piling cake and ice cream on top of it. I think that kinda makes a difference. You're used to Indian food - or you just ate less than I did." Axel clutched at his stomach and moaned again. "I think I'm gonna be sick..." Within a matter of seconds, Demyx had grabbed his trash can from the other side of the room and moved it over to the side of the bed. Axel nodded his thanks and leaned over it, breathing heavily and waiting for lamb Madras, cake, and ice cream to start working their way out.

Nothing happened. After a few minutes, Axel's nausea began to die down, finally. He smiled sheepishly at Demyx. "False alarm, I guess."

"Oh, trust me, I'd rather have moved the trash can over for nothing than have to stand here and watch you puke your guts out." Demyx sat down in Axel's chair, but made no move to return the trash can to its former position. "Think you're gonna be able to sleep now?"

"Maybe." Axel lay back down, and wasn't greeted by another intense surge of nausea. He still didn't feel even vaguely well, but he no longer felt like he was sure to spew if he moved wrong. "I feel a little better, I guess..."

"Good." Demyx chuckled softly. "And maybe next time, a little moderation, eh, firecrotch?"

"..._Firecrotch?!_" Axel's first reaction, on hearing his new nickname, was to spring out of bed and slug Demyx. He managed to sit halfway up before the nausea came rushing back, and he was forced to lie down before he was sick. "Okay...tonight, you can get away with that. Tomorrow...call me Axel, got it memorized?"


	75. In which Demyx gets interrupted

Demyx felt good that morning, for some inexplicable reason. Very good. Almost walking-on-air good. Sure, he hadn't had a mission today, but that in and of itself wasn't enough to explain his elation. Wondering what was with this strange mood, he flopped on his bed and almost involuntarily summoned his sitar.

Oh, yeah. That was it. Music started bubbling out like a spring almost as soon as he started playing. He was thrilled - he loved this. And the music came bubbling out of his soul faster than he could hope to play it, making him struggle to keep up - but he loved the struggle. As long as he had the music inside, he didn't feel empty, as so many of the others seemed to. While he was playing, even if he had to rush to get the music out and get it out right, he felt complete.

Music made a very good heart, he decided. Maybe even better than the original.

_I have to write this down..._

He sprang to his desk and found a pencil and some blank staff paper, hastening to write it all down before something distracted him and made him forget. "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful," he whispered over and over to himself. Just the sort of thing he could play later to brighten up a bad day, or make a good day even better. Like today. This was shaping up to be a rare one, and no mistake - he felt like nothing and no one could knock him down.

"Kingdom Hearts. Would you fucking knock that shit _off_ already."

Well, that did it.

The sitar slid out of his hands and hit the floor before he could grab it. "Uh - uh - hi, Ax - did you just get back from your mission or something?"

Axel glared blearily at him with bloodshot eyes. "For your information, I was not on an overnight mission. Now would you cut the noise."

Not on an overnight mission? Then where had he been all...oh. "Let me rephrase that. Did you just get back from your night of drunken carousing or something?"

Axel looked like he wanted to slug him, but didn't move. "...Maybe."

Demyx rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I have to ask, is waking up hungover in a back alley behind the bar really worth a night of fun you can't even remember?"

"I have never woken up hungover in a back alley, thank you kindly."

Demyx had a strong suspicion that Axel was either lying or being selective about his memory, but he didn't press the issue. "So where did you wake up? In bed with a girl who looked a lot hotter when you were both trashed?" Axel's face turned bright red, almost as red as his eyes, and he nodded faintly. "Well. I hope that was fun. Do you even know what her name was?"

"Patricia. She'd left her purse lying open on the table, and I read it off her driver's license. Are you done tormenting me yet?"

"...Maybe. But that was an excellent composition you barged in on and demanded I stop. I hope it's not ruined."

"You have no idea how much louder everything sounds when you have a hangover..."

Demyx nodded slowly. "That's right. I don't. And right now, I don't ever intend to get drunk enough to find out."

Axel shook his head, holding it like it was pounding horribly. "I really, really need to get to work on corrupting you, got it memorized? Now if you need me, I'm going to be hiding in a dark, quiet corner until I feel less inhuman. Have fun with your music."


	76. Which finds Axel in a thoughtful mood

Staring at his still-dark ceiling waiting for his alarm to go off, Axel started to think, which would have surprised a few other members of the Organization. Specifically, he was thinking about Demyx's reaction to him walking in hungover yesterday. He'd taken it completely in stride, and even gave him a hard time about it. If he remembered right, the first time Demyx had seen him drunk, he'd flipped out completely.

That was almost two years ago now. Well, not quite two years - over a year and a half, at least. It had been almost two years since the two of them lost their hearts.

He leaned back on his bed and sighed, thinking about the scared little kid he'd found sleeping in the next room one day - undersized, underfed, afraid of everything and everyone, especially Axel. If he remembered right, and he probably did, Demyx had found out what his element was when he accidentally squirted Axel in the face for getting too close. For which accident he'd apologized profusely, of course; he hadn't lost that habit with age. And the first time he'd heard Demyx laugh, he'd hushed himself almost immediately, like whenever he'd laughed before, he'd been punished. A wave of pity and sympathy was already building for that sad, starved, frightened little boy all over again.

From next door, he started hearing sitar music. Demyx must be awake.

Axel had found it very hard to believe that the scrawny little creature he'd first met was really fifteen, like he'd claimed to be. Looking at Demyx now, at (supposedly) seventeen and a month, he must have been telling the truth, or at least hadn't overstated his age by much. He was almost a foot taller than he'd started out - he'd started to shoot up like a weed almost as soon as he started getting decent food regularly - and while he was hardly overweight now, he'd certainly fleshed out and developed some actual muscle. While he'd probably never have much in the way of self-confidence or self-respect, the wary, hunted look was gone, and he'd long ago stopped flinching away involuntarily from all human contact. And he smiled. He smiled quite a bit. Axel used to have to coax him into smiling.

_The little guy is growing up,_ he thought warmly. His adopted little brother that he bought ice cream and hot chocolate for and fussed over when he was sick was starting to come into his own.

Then came the uncomfortable thought: _I wonder if he's going to outgrow little-brother status..._

Then the sitar music stopped abruptly and was replaced by the sound of prolonged coughing. Axel instinctively sat up in alarm and went to investigate. He found Demyx, seated on a pillow on the floor, curled up around his sitar and coughing nonstop. "Are you all right?" he asked after the coughing fit stopped.

"Hhhyesss..." Demyx had almost no voice at all. The best he could do was a strangled whisper.

Axel almost laughed out loud as he put a hand on Demyx's forehead. "Nuh-uh. Don't think so. Think you'd better get yourself back to bed. I'll put something on for you to listen to and then go make you some tea, okay?"

Demyx chuckled hoarsely. "Just love to fuss over me, don't you? Is it fun for you or something?"

Axel did laugh at that, and ruffled his hair. "Hey, I gotta fuss over you sometime, little brother. When you're sick is as good a time as any."


	77. In which Axel begins sitar lessons

"One of these days, I think I really need to learn how to play that thing."

Demyx eyed Axel very carefully. On the one hand, he was thrilled that Axel was interested enough in the sitar to want to learn how to play; on the other, he was very much afraid that Axel had no idea what he was getting into. "How serious are you?"

Axel sat down next to him. "How serious do I need to be?"

Demyx sighed. "Very, _very_ serious."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Come on. It can't be that bad, can it?" Before Demyx could interrupt, he forged on ahead. "Two years now, I've been listening to you working magic with that sitar almost on a daily basis, and frankly, I'm jealous as hell. I wish I could do that. I want to learn how."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather learn guitar? It's a much easier instrument..."

Axel shook his head. "Doesn't have the same effect."

_Axel, I mastered the guitar in about six months. I haven't completely mastered the sitar in twelve or thirteen years, and quite honestly, I don't think I will for decades._ "I think you have a mistaken impression about what you're getting into..."

Axel's eyes narrowed. "Try me."

Demyx sighed and accepted defeat. "All right...sit down on a pillow and take your shoes off."

Axel looked blankly at him. "Is there a -"

"Being barefoot helps hold it in place." Demyx tugged the mezrabs off his fingers and handed them to Axel. "Know how to put these on? You've seen me wearing them often enough; I think you should."

Axel forced one of them on with difficulty - his fingers were rather larger than Demyx's. "How long does it take before it doesn't hurt to put it on?"

Demyx smiled blandly. "It never really stops hurting, but it starts hurting a lot less once you start developing some callus." He showed Axel his own callused fingertips, with dark grooves worn into them over years and years of wearing the mezrabs. "It only takes a year or so to develop enough to make a difference."

"A...year?"

Demyx nodded. "By then, you should be ready to move on from practicing scales to learning ragas and raginis. Indian classical music."

Axel gave him a bug-eyed stare. "You're shitting me. A year of practicing scales?"

Demyx shrugged. "Hey, I have no intentions of putting you through anything I wasn't going through before I started elementary school."

Axel continued to stare. "...Hold on; I'm just trying to picture you as a kindergartener trying to play one of these things."

Demyx glanced over again. "Ax, you're holding it wrong...you only use two fingers of your left hand. It's not like a guitar. I know that probably seems all wrong to you, but you're just gonna have to fight the instinct."

Axel now had a deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes. "...Huh?"

"And you shouldn't be using your right hand to support its weight at all. In fact, your hand belongs here - " Demyx grabbed Axel's hand and moved it to the base of the fretboard, just above the resonating chamber. "And your thumb should stay anchored where it is. This string - the steel one - is the one you're going to focus on. Most of the other strings are drone strings; the ones that run under the frets are sympathetic strings that aren't meant to be played on at all."

Axel gulped. "The hell did I just get myself into..." he murmured softly.

"It's not too late to give it up and take up guitar lessons instead."

Axel continued to stare blankly at the sitar for several moments. "All right...how do you actually get a recognizable note out of this thing?"

* * *

AN: I is not dead. I is busy on other things.


	78. In which Axel drops sitar lessons

After three weeks, Axel was finally forced to admit that pestering Demyx for sitar lessons hadn't really been a good idea on his part. The fact that he'd just realized he'd been avoiding Demyx for one of those weeks just so he wouldn't get roped into any more lessons was a bit of a clue. Or the fact that he was starting to shudder a little whenever he heard Demyx play, and not because the quality of his music had taken a sharp downturn. Or the fact that he'd quit playing Guitar Hero because he really didn't want anything to do with playing music just then - it made his fingers hurt.

Eventually, he decided he really owed it to Demyx to explain that he was no longer interested in lessons, sorry for wasting your time, thank you for trying anyway. He could hear someone moving around in Demyx's room, so he just looked in through the bathroom door - Demyx was changing CDs, and then sitting down on his bed with a comic book. "Ah, hey, Demyx, I -"

"Sorry, Axel, I'm just incredibly busy right now, I really wish I could tell you when I'll be free, but I can't," Demyx snapped, and buried his face in his book.

Axel just stared blankly. "...I gotta tell you right now, you don't look really busy..."

Demyx didn't even look up. "Well, I am, so this better be really quick if it's gonna happen at all."

_What the hell brought this on?_ "Uh, yeah...it's about sitar lessons..."

Demyx looked up briefly, eyes flashing. "Sitar lessons? Axel, what is this about sitar lessons? Have you been taking sitar lessons from someone else without my knowledge? Because you sure as hell haven't been taking them from me!" He went right back to the comic book as if Axel wasn't even there.

Axel blinked. "...The hell...?"

"If you had been taking lessons from me," Demyx continued in a thin voice without looking up, "then maybe you would have shown up for them at least once this week, instead of only rarely being in the same room with me outside mealtimes and then only for a few minutes because you were incredibly busy and couldn't tell me when you'd be free."

"...Oh..." Now Axel was seeing the light. "Sorry about that..."

"So I hope you're not here to cancel the sitar lessons you were apparently never taking in the first place. It strikes me as being kind of unnecessary."

Axel sighed. "You're mad at me, aren't you."

Demyx looked up at him again. Axel wondered if he was seeing things or if there really were tears in his eyes. "Why, Axel, whatever gave you that impression?"

_If I'd known he'd take just refusing to cooperate for lessons that personally, I'd have done this last week..._ "Look, I'm sorry..."

Demyx snorted. "At least you had the decency to actually tell me sometime, even if it wasn't until after I'd figured it out for myself."

Axel took a few deep breaths, but couldn't come up with anything intelligent to say to save his life. He swallowed hard and winged it. "Look...you were right, I was wrong, I should have tried guitar lessons first, you're the prodigy, not me, I had unreasonable expectations..."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "You sound like you're reading off a notecard - did you memorize that speech ahead of time?"

"...And here I was proud of how well I'd managed to wing it without making a bigger ass of myself."


	79. In which Demyx plays possum

"They were so sending the wrong guy for this one..." Demyx murmured nervously. "I hate these violence-ridden post-apocalyptic worlds...I don't care if they're full of hearts and Heartless, they oughta be left to die in peace..."

"'In peace' is a relative term, Nine," Zexion said dryly. "Besides, I don't believe you've ever seen the Nexus."

Demyx looked sideways at him. "Let me guess, it's a violence-ridden post-apocalyptic world?"

"In part, it is a post-apocalyptic world that is violent to such an extreme that murder has gone from a popular pastime to a way of life. In part, it also contains its own Hell, and convenient gateways thereto."

Demyx shuddered. "Why don't I never go there, then."

Zexion shrugged and smirked. "You may find the experience informative."

"No thanks. I choose life."

"Suit yourself..." Zexion, as usual, got the last word, and there wasn't much Demyx could do about it besides accept it and keep going. Besides, the sooner they finished the survey, the sooner they could go home, and getting the hell out of here was high on his list of things - wait, what was that? That flash? Light reflecting off something in that open window...something like...

One foot suddenly shot out, knocking Zexion off-balance and sending him to the pavement; the Cloaked Schemer had no time to object, because Demyx had voluntarily hit the pavement at almost the same time - as a line of bullets suddenly rattled off the wall where they'd been standing. Oddly enough, the only thing Demyx could think was _I was right, that was a gun barrel_. The sound of machine guns firing seemed to go on for hours, though it could only have lasted a few moments at best - and by the time it was over, Demyx noticed the street was drenched in blood, and Zexion was lying motionless, his eyes empty and lifeless and his clothes shredded by bullets - but then he slowly winked at him, and he realized it was all illusion. He probably looked much the same, even though he was really uninjured. For several tense moments, they both held their breath, hoping whoever had been firing wouldn't decide to pump a few more rounds into their apparently lifeless bodies just to make sure. Demyx would have loved to raise his head and look around, or even open his eyes fully, but for all he knew, that would ruin the illusion. And lying sprawled in the alley pretending to be dead was so damn uncomfortable.

Finally, they heard footsteps, at least two pairs of feet - their playing dead was apparently worth the effort, but they had to hold extra-still now. As the footsteps came right up to them, Demyx had to struggle not to blink. "Moteth's fangs, mate - how many rounds did you waste on these two?"

"Impossible to waste shots on Rising Sun, Ji. Every shot's worth it."

"They ain't with Rising Sun, you trigger-happy dipshit. Dunno where the fuck their outfits came from, but if they were Rising Sun, they'd have their crest on 'em somewhere. Somehow, I don't think you just shot 'em all out."

A big, heavy foot suddenly planted itself firmly on Demyx's hand, bringing with it a disproportionate amount of pain and a sickening popping sensation in his ring finger. He bit through his tongue, but otherwise managed not to flinch even slightly. "They coulda been," the laconic gunman said with an irritated grunt - Demyx guessed it was his foot, from how close his voice was.

"They coulda been, yeah. They coulda been our guys, you fucktard. Or Grey Kingfisher - you have any idea what kinda sling our asses would be in if you blew away a couple guys from Grey Kingfisher? Fuck, they coulda been your little brothers, for all the attention you paid. Gimme that gun - I ain't gonna trust you with it anymore. 'Fraid you're gonna shoot _me_ next."

There was the sound of a brief struggle, but no additional gunfire. "Asshole," the gunman muttered once the struggle was over; presumably his companion had forcibly taken his gun.

"Hey, I'm not doin' this to be an asshole, I'm doin' it for the sake of everyone you come in contact with..." The foot finally moved off Demyx's hand, and their attackers moved on down the alley, arguing all the way. Once everything had been silent for several minutes, Zexion finally stood up. Demyx followed stiffly.

"Excellent reflexes, Nine..." Zexion said, sounding more than a little shaken, even though his face was still almost perfectly level. "Fortunate they didn't stop to check for vital signs..." Demyx nodded mutely and spat out a gob of blood. Zexion's expression changed, as much as it ever did, to alarm. "Are you injured?"

"Bit my tongue," Demyx muttered painfully, clutching his hand. "I think that asshole broke my finger when he stepped on my hand."

Zexion looked at him blankly for several moments, then sighed. "Better than a bullet, at least. I think I may safely confess that at this moment, I would willingly accept any excuse to end this mission prematurely. A possibly broken finger will do."

* * *

AN: Hey, I live. I've been busy with Lung Qin Xiang.


	80. In which Demyx is extremely grouchy

"So, something has finally managed to stop you from playing sitar for a while. I didn't think that was even possible."

"Shut up," Demyx snapped, examining his bandaged fingers - only one was actually broken, but it had been bound to its neighbor while it healed.

Axel held up his hands in self-defense. "Just making an observation. No need to bite my head off." Demyx growled and muttered something that sounded like a curse. "Wow, someone's got his boxers in a bunch..."

"Screw you." Demyx flopped onto his bed, still examining his fingers with an air of despondency.

"What? What did I do?"

"Kept talking when I told you to _shut up_," Demyx snarled.

Axel just stared blankly at him, baffled by this uncharacteristic bad temper. "...What's eating you?"

"Nothing. Get lost." Demyx drew his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and glared off into space as if Axel wasn't there.

"...Was it something I said...?"

"It's more the fact that you're still here and still talking."

Axel sighed and sat down directly in Demyx's field of vision. "If you really want me to go away, tell me what crawled up your ass and died."

"Don't make me hit you."

"You can't make a fist."

"I'm ambidextrous. I can break your nose with my left hand too." Indeed, Demyx's hand was already balled into a fist, and his arm was now cocked to deliver it.

Axel tried not to make it obvious he was inching backwards. "Too bad you can't play left-handed..." Demyx's face crumpled, and he seemed to be struggling not to cry. "...Is that it? You're being all pissy because you won't be able to play for a while?"

"Good heavens, Mr. Holmes, I think you've finally found the answer!" Demyx snapped in an artificially shocked tone. "Now would you _piss off_!"

Axel contemplated the odds of getting Demyx to calm down versus the odds of catching a left hook in his right eye. "...No."

Demyx's eyes narrowed even further, and for a moment, Axel was sure he was about to get the left hook. Then, unexpectedly, Demyx sighed, relaxed, and lay back, staring blankly at the ceiling. "Fine...I give...stay if you feel like it." He sighed again. "Even if I restrung my sitar backwards so it was set up to play left-handed, I couldn't play...it would have been nice for Vexen to have not tied my fingers together when only one was actually broken...can't even hold a pick or a bow, right now."

Axel nodded sympathetically while privately giving thanks that Demyx hadn't seen fit to deck him. "So you can't play guitar or violin either. That does suck."

"Can't play anything but a CD," Demyx murmured glumly.

Axel sighed. "Poor Demyx...so, what do you want to listen to?"

"You never calling me 'poor Demyx' again," Demyx muttered, but without a hint of his previous ill humor. "This is gonna get so damn boring...put on some Dragonforce. Dragonforce is never boring."


	81. In which Demyx gets a nasty shock

There were many more pleasant things in life than being suddenly awakened at 2:00 in the morning. And if you had to be suddenly awakened at 2:00 in the morning, there were many more pleasant things in life to be suddenly awakened at 2:00 in the morning by than the sound of someone heaving their guts outside your door.

_If whoever is doing that isn't dying right now,_ Demyx decided, _I'm going to kill them_.

He remained exactly where he was, trying very hard not to listen, until the sounds of sickness had ended. The groan and thud at the end made him wonder if whoever had just been puking their guts out had then collapsed, possibly seriously ill and in desperate need of help they were too weak to get for themselves, and considering where he was, it couldn't not be another Organization member...and concern for whoever it might be forced him out of his warm bed to search for his flashlight and go investigate.

Axel was lying just outside his door, facedown in a pool of his own vomit. Demyx's suddenly overwhelming concern disappeared entirely when he noticed the entire scene reeked of alcohol. "You drunken _bastard_...!"

Axel rolled over slowly, very slowly, and blinked in the light from Demyx's flashlight, apparently not caring what a disgusting mess he was. "'Elllooo, Demmy..."

"Dear Gods! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Angry, disgusted, and ashamed on his friend's behalf, Demyx turned a massive jet of water on him. Axel yelped as he was blown down the hall - let him yelp; he'd be a lot cleaner in a second.

After he decided Axel had had enough of a bath and cut off the stream, Demyx kept his flashlight trained on him, just to make sure he hadn't been hurt. Axel lay at the end of the hallway for several moments, his eyes open and glowing, then eventually tried to stagger to his feet. Considering how wet the floor was - and how intoxicated he was - it took him five or six tries. "D-demmyyyy...whyyyya doooo thaaaa'?"

"Because I didn't appreciate having a puddle of spew outside my door, okay? Or are you too drunk to make sense of anything I say?"

"I...I' not...drannk..." Axel half-stumbled, half-slid in his direction, clinging to the wall. "Ony haaa...lllliiiillll..."

"You mean a little, or a liter?" Considering how drunk Axel was, Demyx would have believed the liter more easily.

"A liiiiillll...shupi'...kid..." Now Axel was close enough for the flashlight to pick up the expression on his face, and Demyx gulped. He looked _pissed_. "I'm nod...fuggin'...drunk...goddit...m-memo...m-memmm...wha'a fuck everrrr...liiiillll ashhhollle..."

The flashlight beam started to shake - no, that was Demyx's hand. He was wondering whether he'd have the nerve to fight back, if Axel attacked him. Hell, drunk as Axel was, he probably couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from the inside with his fist...but on the other hand... "Axel...go to bed..."

"N-no." Axel was within easy reach now; still leaning on the wall, but if he wanted to, he could...he still looked so angry...and Demyx froze, knowing he couldn't fight if he had to. "Why...whyyyy y'shaaay...I drunnnk?

Demyx pressed himself against the door, slowly reaching for the handle and wondering what idiotic impulse had led him to close it on the way out. "Ax...l-leave me alone...p-please..."

Axel's hand suddenly extended; Demyx flinched, expecting to get slapped at best, but Axel only took his chin and looked closely at him. "D-demmyyyyy...whyyyya cryyyyyinnnn'? Y'shcaaaared?" Demyx couldn't even nod. "I...I shooorrryyyyy...dunnn be shcaaaaared-d..." Axel no longer looked so angry; if anything, he looked...concerned? No, or at least, that wasn't the whole answer...it was something Demyx couldn't fully identify. "Yannooo...you'sh verrrr' preeetty..."

Demyx's mouth dropped open. "...What did you just say?" he asked in an unintentionally soft voice.

"I shaaaaid...ya verrr' prettyyyy." Without warning, Axel suddenly leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. Demyx noticed, with the part of his mind that was neither panicking nor busy keeping his body from panicking as well, that he tasted like whiskey and spew - not a very charming combination.

Then it finally trickled through even to that part - _my best friend is drunk off his ass, and _kissing me on the lips.

One hand quickly shoved Axel across the hall while the other finally found the doorknob. While Axel was still trying to recover from this new confusion, Demyx ran back into his room, closed and locked the door behind him, closed and locked the bathroom door, jumped back into bed, and pulled the covers over his head.

There was a tentative knock on the door. "Demmyyyy...I shorryyyy...commme baaaack..." Demyx pretended not to hear it, or any of Axel's other entreaties. When he heard another loud thud, like someone hitting the floor, he was too afraid to investigate.

* * *

AN: Axel is going to be so humiliated tomorrow.


	82. In which Axel gets blackmailed

Axel had woken up hungover in stranger places than outside Demyx's door. Frankly, inside the castle and within fifteen feet of his own room was a pretty good place to have collapsed in a drunken stupor. Well, it would have been if it hadn't opened up some downright ugly possibilities. Dragging himself to his feet, he knocked gently on Demyx's door to spare his own pounding head, then staggered to his own room when he received no answer.

_Is it because Demyx isn't in his room...because I disgusted the hell out of him with my antics...because he didn't hear me...or because I beat the shit out of him...again?_

After showering and putting on some clean clothes, he stumbled down to the kitchen for what breakfast he could choke down. Thankfully he wasn't the only one there with bleary red eyes - Xigbar hadn't even shown up; he must still be sleeping off the hangover. Xemnas looked something less than pleased with that, Vexen even more so - it had somehow become his job to hand out mission assignments in Xigbar's absence, though Axel thought it served him right for being such an utterly cheerless stick-in-the-mud. Demyx was there, however, and looked uninjured - a huge relief - but he didn't seem eager to socialize or even communicate with Axel, beyond some very strange looks. He was left wondering whether he even _wanted_ to know what he'd been doing the night before. Almost as soon as he finished his breakfast, Demyx disappeared after giving him one more very strange look, thereby ending the debate, at least in Axel's mind.

As he was stumbling back to his room to go lie down for a while, Axel tripped over absolutely nothing at all. "Absolutely nothing" soon resolved into Zexion's foot. "The hell was that for?" he demanded as soon as he recovered his balance.

Zexion smirked thinly. "I had an important matter to discuss with you, preferably in private..."

Axel glowered at him. "Yeah. The middle of the hallway is real private. Look, I feel like shit and my head feels like it's going to explode. Can I get back to you on that?"

Zexion's smirk broadened. "This will only take a few moments - surely you can withstand the natural consequences of your own overindulgence for that long?"

_I swear I'm gonna kill the little prick someday... _"Can we get Luxord to mediate just so I know it won't take long?"

That infuriating smirk broadened even more. "No, for two reasons. Ten is in much the same condition as yourself, and I'm certain you would prefer as few eavesdroppers as possible."

Axel sighed, defeated. "Fine. So what's this 'important matter'?"

Zexion opened a portal to the library, beckoning Axel through first. The library was one of the best-lit rooms in the Castle; it made Axel cringe and hide his face under his hood as his head pounded even more fiercely and his stomach started to protest his breakfast and continued activity and refusal to just lie the hell down already. Zexion, almost smug in his utter lack of concern or sympathy, crossed over to the table, picked up an envelope, and brought it over to him. "I have a photograph here that I thought would interest you greatly..."

Axel watched closely as Zexion slid a photograph out of the envelope. It was a picture of him, apparently pinning Demyx to his own door, and obviously kissing him full on the lips. For his stomach, that was the final straw. "Eight! That's disgusting!"

Axel wiped his mouth and glared blearily as Zexion retreated several feet, taking the photograph with him. For a second, he hoped he'd managed to get some pancakes and coffee on the little Schemer's shoes, but no such luck. "Where the fuck did you get that?! Is it digitally altered or something?!"

Zexion scowled at him. "This is a photograph I took last night, of your actions while in a state of utter intoxication. Incidentally, Nine seemed horrified; if he's been avoiding you thus far today, you now have your explanation. But the picture is true and unaltered. Ask Nine."

Axel could feel his face turning bright red. "Aw, fuck...what the hell were you even doing down there?"

Zexion's smirk started to return. "I was en route to inform the other elder members of the appearance of a twelfth stone in the Proof of Existence."

"A...twelfth stone? A new member?"

Zexion nodded. "The meeting should be called within the next hour or two. I had been considering, as long as I had this photograph, keeping it and showing it to the new member when she arrives. Imagine if this was her first impression of you."

Axel's first impulse was rushing over and throttling Zexion with his bare hands, until his mind caught up with his ears. "...She? Her? The new member's a girl?"

"Female, though I suspect 'woman' would be the more appropriate term..."

Axel wavered between "calling Zexion's bluff because romance is probably impossible for us" and "not under any circumstances letting Zexion wreck my chance with the first and only girl in the castle". "...How much will it cost to take that picture off your hands?"

Zexion smirked like a cat with all the cream. "Now we're negotiating..."

* * *

AN: Reactions to the last chapter were mixed. I had some people saying "Yaoi! Finally!" and some saying "Ugh, if you put yaoi in I'm out of here". Here's a hint: Ever read my other stories? This one is set before any of them - do any of them contain any hint of Axel and Demyx _ever_ having been _anything_ but close friends and semi-adopted brothers? (Besides "Into the Nexus" - Axel was drunk then too.)

Also, I've dropped enough hints about Zexion's blackmailing. It was high time to see some.


	83. In which Demyx is forced to meet Larxene

Demyx wished he could spend the next few days hiding in a dark hole. Life next to Axel was just not comfortable right then, and the fact that Axel seemed aware of his drunken antics didn't help at all - hell, it would have been less awkward if Axel was oblivious. And Axel's beloved Xbox had disappeared, for no reason Demyx could think of; at first he suspected it had been stolen, but Axel's demeanor indicated that he knew exactly where it had gone, he didn't expect it back, and he was thoroughly unhappy about it.

And of course, there was the new member. New _female_ member, no less. Demyx felt like there was a subtle cloud of doom following him around the whole day - she'd hate him on sight, he was sure of it; make fun of his hair and his shyness and his inability to fight and everything about him worth taunting - which was everything.

And of course, she would be beautiful. It wouldn't hurt as much for the only girl in the castle to hate him if she looked like Xaldin in drag.

Never before had he really resented that a broken finger wasn't serious enough to land him on the disabled list and allow him to skip the new girl's first meeting. Briefly, he considered throwing himself down the stairs in an effort to break an arm or worse, but decided against it as not worth the reward. Besides, given his luck, he'd either be unscathed or break his neck. Instead, he'd teleported straight into his chair without even walking most of the way to the meeting hall first, as he usually did. Once he was seated, his attention, for possibly the first time in two years, was focused exclusively on the Superior and anything he might have to say. He didn't even look in the direction of the new member's chair, even when Xemnas specifically called the entire Organization's attention to her; he looked at the arm of Luxord's chair instead, which was in the same general area. When the meeting was over, every male Organization member young enough to still have a libido - which left out only Xemnas and Vexen - was clustered around the new girl; Axel and Marluxia had managed to work their way into choice positions on either side of her. Demyx didn't even look at her closely enough to register anything but blond hair before fleeing.

Once back in his room, however, he wondered if he hadn't been just plain stupid, and made some incredibly rash assumptions. Well, she must be attractive; otherwise all the other guys wouldn't have been crowding around her like the only bottle of water in the desert. But he didn't really have any concrete reason to believe she'd hate him on sight - maybe she was incredibly nice. Maybe she'd be incredibly shy, and find it easiest to make friends with the shyest guy in the Organization - namely him. Maybe she'd even...

There was a sudden knock on his door, and he opened it reluctantly. Xigbar was there, with the new girl; of the previous entourage, only Axel and Marluxia were still hanging around, at a safe distance behind. "There you are - Demyx, this is Larxene. See, I knew we were missing one."

Demyx barely heard a word - his attention was all focused on Larxene. Her face was an almost flawless oval, highlighted by sleek blond hair - of which two strands were mysteriously defying gravity - her lips were _just perfect_, and the rest of her - well, no one got a uniform that fit on their first day, it seemed, and hers was too tight. Especially around the chest.

It was just that the sparkle in those blue eyes seemed such a malicious sparkle...

"The dork with the ugly-ass mullet? I could've kept missing him."

Axel flushed, Marluxia smirked, and Xigbar winced. "Just wait until you get to know him; he's a really sweet guy...uh...why don't I show you to your room..." He led her off, and Marluxia followed as soon as they were a safe distance away. Axel stood still, glancing back and forth between Larxene and Demyx, then took off after the other three. Demyx was left standing in the doorway, feeling sick and empty, his face still completely vacant.


	84. In which turnabout is fair play

Axel groaned. He didn't know who the hell that could be puking their guts out outside his door at 2:00 in the morning, but he assumed they were drunk and he wished they'd go spew somewhere else. At any rate, there were only three people - well, three other people - he figured were likely to be wandering around drunk at this hour, and as soon as they were finished, he reluctantly dragged himself out of bed to confront them.

Well, it was someone wandering the halls drunk at an ungodly hour. It was just the last person he'd expected. "...Demyx?! What the fuck are you doing?! What the fuck happened to your hair?!"

"Cut it," Demyx slurred, looking at his shoes.

"I guess..." Sometime between now and dinner, his distinctive mullhawk had been brutally cut down to no more than a short mohawk. Axel quickly decided it was a change for the worse. "Before you started drinking, or after?"

Demyx slumped into a sitting position against the wall. "B'fore..."

Axel sighed heavily and knelt next to the younger boy. "All right, where'd you get the booze? Luxord give it to you? Or Xigbar? You're too young to have gone to a bar - legal drinking age in most worlds I know of is _at least _eighteen." He was inwardly promising to gut and incinerate whoever had given Demyx alcohol he damn well shouldn't have been allowed.

Demyx shook his head weakly, still not making eye contact. "Found one where ish shishteen."

Axel shook his head in frustration. "Why'd you do it?"

"She shaid i'wash ugly."

Axel blinked. He'd been trying to find out what had possessed Demyx to find a world where he could drink legally and get wasted, but he seemed to have gotten an answer as to why he'd butchered his hair. "Okay..."

"You were there," Demyx mumbled. "Y'heard 'er. I shaw ya. N'then y'wen' chashin' righ' affer 'er."

Axel felt six inches tall and lower than dirt. _Bros before hos - that sound familiar at all, you dipshit? Ring any bells in your little hormone-addled brain? And she cut him down right in front of you, and you not only didn't defend him _at all_, you went chasing after her like a stupid puppy._ He sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just - "

It's just that something about Larxene drew him like a magnet. Something more than just her beautiful face or her gorgeous body. It probably wasn't the attitude she'd displayed so far - Demyx wasn't the only one she'd been snide and insulting to, and she'd only been there less than 24 hours. It wasn't even that she'd been treating Axel in any special way - she'd been as rude to him as to Marluxia or anyone else. It was just - something about her. He wondered if it was the same thing that had drawn him to a frightened, withdrawn little boy way back when - or if he was inventing a comparison just to justify his actions and make himself feel a little less like a total heel. Demyx had been his best friend for two years; he didn't know a damn thing about Larxene except that she was beautiful and rude.

Axel sighed again, not knowing what to say. "You shouldn't have cut your hair like that. It looked a lot better the way it was."

Demyx glared at him. "Fuck you," he snapped, and one fist abruptly shot out and nailed Axel in the eye.

Axel fell back, stunned. "_Damn...son of a_..." Then he stopped, and shook his head, and sighed. "Fuck it all...turnabout is fair play, I guess." Demyx suddenly burst into tears, and Axel, not knowing what else to do, helped him to his feet and into bed.

* * *

AN: Published early. Tune in the day after tomorrow for Demyx's excuse.


	85. In which Demyx is hungover

When he woke up, Demyx wondered immediately whether he was running a high fever or what. His skin felt flushed, his stomach felt wobbly, and the rest of him just felt rotten in general. He rolled over, very gingerly, and discovered his curtains had been drawn tight shut; the only illumination in the room was one small nightlight on the opposite wall. Somehow, even that little glow seemed unreasonably bright.

_You're not sick, you're hungover, genius._

He peered at the little note that had been left on his end table with a bottle of aspirin. _I'll tell the others you're sick,_ it read in Axel's handwriting._ Nothing makes it go away except time, but aspirin might help._ Oh. Of course Axel would have experience dealing with hangovers. Not wasting time wondering what Axel thought of him now, he ignored both aspirin and note and went back to sleep. Sleeping was more pleasant than being awake just then.

He woke up again a few hours later, feeling a little less like death in a bucket, but still not exactly fit to face a day. He didn't even feel fit to eat anything, so he dragged himself out of bed and over to his stereo, fighting nausea every step of the way. Somehow, the volume had been turned up to outrageous levels, which didn't help; he had to turn it way down to be able to rest and listen to it comfortably. Without intending to, he fell asleep again.

The next time he woke up, it was to a very soft knock at his door. Feeling more alive than he had so far that day, he hauled himself out of bed and opened it to find Axel standing there looking like a whipped cur. "You okay?" he murmured softly.

"Better," Demyx mumbled in reply. "Been asleep most of the day."

"Pretty good way to spend a hangover, sleeping." Axel sighed heavily and ruffled the short mohawk that was all was left of Demyx's hair. "I'm sorry."

Demyx blinked, wondering what he'd missed. "Sorry? For what?"

"For serving as such a shitty example." Axel sat down at the foot of the bed, pulling Demyx down next to him. "The whole time I was on my mission today, I was wondering - why the hell would you do that? What on God's green earth would possess you to go out and get wasted like that? You've never done anything like that before...well, except the eluchin incident...and eventually, the only answer I could come up with was, because you've seen me do it so damn often." He sighed. "I gotta say, I'm more ashamed of myself remembering you staggering around drunk last night than I've ever been waking up hungover on a park bench or in a motel room with a stranger or whatever weird spot I happened to pass out in. Combined." He put an arm around Demyx's shoulders and pulled him closer, so he was leaning on Axel's shoulder, and managed a sad smile. "I've been a bad brother."

Demyx sighed heavily, feeling intensely gloomy. "It wasn't your fault." Well, at least not in the sense Axel thought. He'd taken the effort to find a world where he could legally drink because he wanted to forget the sight of Axel looking at him, looking at Larxene, looking at him, and following Larxene. But Axel didn't need to know that. He was depressed enough as it was.

Axel rested his chin on top of Demyx's head. "You know...you _really_ shouldn't have cut your hair. What in Kingdom Hearts's name possessed you to do _that_?"

Demyx could feel himself blushing all the way to his collar. "Larxene said it was ugly..." He remembered that all too clearly. Despite his best efforts, he still remembered almost everything that had happened before he left the castle the day before.

Axel snorted. "I say it's ugly now and you'd better let it grow back to the way it was. Now whose opinion do you trust more, mine or hers?"

Demyx sighed again. "Yours."

"Good...I think." Silence reigned for a few minutes. "I'm...also sorry for the way I treated you," Axel said awkwardly. "'Bros before hos' - that's supposed to be an unbreakable rule, and I went and broke it with my little brother watching."

Demyx stirred slightly. "How would Larxene react if she heard you refer to her as a ho?"

Axel sighed. "She'd kick me in the balls. Not like I don't deserve it."

Demyx cringed involuntarily, and silence resumed its interrupted reign. After a few minutes, he decided it was his turn to break it. "Thanks for the aspirin and stuff."

Axel's face twisted into something like a half smile. "I have way too much experience dealing with hangovers...at least I got to put it to good use."


	86. Which wanders a bit

"So Demyx...what do you want for Christmas?"

For the first time in a very long time, Demyx hit an off note. He cringed deeply. "Axel...refresh my memory. Did we or did we not have this discussion last year?"

Axel grinned cheekily at him. "What discussion are you talking about?" he asked, even though he knew damn well.

"About what I think of Christmas."

"Refresh my memory - what do you think of Christmas?"

Demyx ground his teeth. "I. Don't. Do. Christmas."

"Why not?" That was the real heart of the matter - if Axel had received an answer the year before, he'd forgotten it, which argued for him never having received an answer. "It can't be that you have something against love and good cheer..."

"I just don't, okay?" Demyx snapped. For some reason, he looked a little shamefaced. "Can we drop the subject?"

Axel pretended to think for a moment. "...No."

"Argh!" Demyx looked like he was tempted to punch Axel in the face. "I don't want to go into it! Axel, for the love of Kingdom Hearts, please, drop it!"

Axel thought very carefully about this, oddly enough. If he simply dropped the subject, as Demyx requested, his curiosity would go unsatisfied yet again, and he'd still have that question gnawing at the back of his mind constantly, but Demyx would neither clam up completely nor give him a black eye. If he kept trying to force the issue, he might finally get an answer, he might get no answer, he might get ordered out of the room, or he might get his skull busted open. Demyx was generally peaceful to the point of self-endangerment, but he did have his limits - as Axel knew damn well, having exceeded them once or twice.

He couldn't _not_ wonder, though - how could a holiday like Christmas end up with such horrible associations for Demyx that he steadfastly refused to have anything to do with it? And why wouldn't he explain?

"All right. I give."

Demyx just stared at him in disbelief, then seemed to sag a little - probably with relief. "Good."

"Not that I'm not still curious, but -" Demyx's eyes narrowed again, and Axel held up his hands. "Hey, I give! I said I give!" Demyx sighed, set his sitar down, and lay flat on his back. "What? What's going on now?"

"What do you mean?" Demyx asked listlessly, staring at the ceiling.

Axel sighed in irritation. "Why did you just set your sitar down and flop like a rug? There has to be some valid explanation, I assume!"

"You sound like Zexion when you talk like that..."

"Everyone talks like that sometimes. It's just that Zexion talks like that all the time, so whenever anyone else does it, everyone goes 'You sound like Zexion'. So, what is with the ragdoll act?"

"Ragdoll?" Demyx seemed to ponder that for a moment. "That's an interesting description."

"...Would you sit up straight?"

Demyx pondered that as well, then shook his head. "Don't think so. The floor is surprisingly comfortable."

Axel sighed again, wondering how the conversation had gone this far off-track in so little time. Then, on impulse, he lay flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. "...What do you know, it is pretty comfortable. Must be because of that thick carpet."

"I did go for it because it was so soft."

Axel nodded. "So...what do you want for a completely random non-holiday?"

There was silence for a long moment. Then one of Demyx's many pillows suddenly landed on his face, and the discussion turned into a pillow fight.


	87. Which is a bit silly but fun

_I'm not getting out of bed today_, Demyx decided first thing in the morning. No one had missions on Christmas, it seemed easier than dealing with Axel's insistence that he try to enjoy a holiday he'd never celebrated before in his existence, and he only rarely got a chance to sleep in as long as he damn well wanted. Instead of rolling out of bed when his alarm went off, he turned it off, pulled the sheets over his head, and went back to a happy underwater dreamland where he could spend the day swimming with dolphins. All was going splendidly until one of them took it into its head to start shaking him around.

"Come on, get up already..."

Forced back to consciousness entirely against his will, Demyx swatted at Axel's hand. "Beat it. I'm tryin' to sleep in." There was a pause, and someone reached under the blankets and grabbed his ankle. His instinctive response was to try to kick himself free, and his foot connected with something bony.

Axel yelped and pulled back, clutching his elbow. "Dammit, right on the nerve...ow..."

"Serves you right," Demyx muttered, and retreated back under the sheets.

"Thanks to you, my hand is completely numb and the rest of my arm hurts like a bitch..."

"I'm practically nauseated with concern."

"All I was trying to do was -"

"If you mention what day it is, I'll kick you somewhere where it'll hurt a hell of a lot more."

There was a long silence. "...You'd have to get out of bed to do that. By the way, merry Christmas."

By the time Demyx was out of bed and ready to carry out his threat, Axel had retreated behind his bathroom door. "Get back here, you jackass!"

"Not until you change your mind about kicking me!" came the muffled response. "Besides, I got you out of bed, didn't I?"

"...Good point. I'm going back to bed."

"...Hey, hold on a -" Axel jerked his bathroom door open, just in time to get a solid kick in the knee. "Owww!"

"I told you..." Demyx said in a singsong voice as Axel slid to the floor, cursing and clutching his knee. "But did you listen?"

Axel glared furiously at him, as if struggling not to just set him on fire. _Shit...way to go too far, dumbass..._ He took a few deep breaths, and, with obvious effort, cracked a weak, pained smile. "Well...now I got a busted knee...guess I'm just gonna sit on the bathroom floor all day...unless someone helps me up..."

Demyx heaved a sigh of relief as he stooped to help Axel stand. "For a second, I was sure you were gonna set me on fire."

Axel chuckled as Demyx led him back to his own room. "I admit, I was considering it...and, um, by the way..."

His foot suddenly shot out and snagged Demyx's leg. Demyx found himself toppling unceremoniously to Axel's floor, with just enough presence of mind left to take Axel down with him. "Hey! What happened to your bad knee?"

Axel was laughing out loud as he winked at him. "Guess it healed pretty fast."

"Ah, see if I ever take pity on you again, you -"

Axel waved a hand. "Oh, you will. Next time I come back from a mission all beat up and bleeding, you'll be falling over yourself to take care of me."

For some reason, Axel's cavalier attitude bordered on infuriating. "What makes you think so?" _What the hell makes you assume I'm gonna play your lapdog?_ was what Demyx really meant.

Axel ruffled his hair affectionately. "Because that's just how you are. You can't see anyone in trouble without racing to help in whatever way, shape, or form you can." He stuck out his tongue at Demyx. "So don't get all huffy with me just because you're too nice for your own good."

Demyx rolled over onto his back, not really knowing what to say to that. "So I should work on being less nice?"

"No," Axel said simply. "There are a hell of a lot worse faults than being too nice. Hell, I wish more people in the worlds had that particular fault. Oh, um, by the way..." One hand reached into the dark, messy space under his bed. "Here...no, that's not it...dammit, where'd it go...oh, here it is..." He handed Demyx a wrapped package, rectangular and thin and sort of flexible, like a book. "It's for you. The C-word does not need to be mentioned."

Demyx gingerly peeled the wrapping off, and discovered a blank notebook full of staff paper. He could feel himself turning red as Axel's hair. "...Thanks..."

Axel suddenly pulled him close and gave him a noogie. "I'm not gonna say it. I promise, I'm not gonna say it. Just, when you get that all filled up, I wanna hear it."

"But...I didn't get you anything..." Demyx murmured faintly.

"Well, you didn't kick me in the balls, like I expected you to...if you want to demonstrate your gratitude, go have fun. Fill that notebook." Axel gave him a gentle shove. "Go camp out in the Hall and don't come back until you have something written. I'll bring you meals - I know you won't think to eat on your own..."


	88. In which Axel misses a party

"...Demyx? Are you okay?"

Demyx just flopped into bed fully-dressed and buried his face in his pillow. "No. Go away."

Axel had an odd sense of deja vu. "You know me better than that...so what's wrong?"

"Don't feel like talking."

"All right," Axel said, as if he was conceding the point. "However, it just so happens I feel like sitting right here and not moving for a while." He sat in Demyx's desk chair and stretched out, with his feet on Demyx's desk. "Nice chair you got here."

"Axel..."

Demyx didn't look angry, fortunately, just depressed. "A really nice chair. Where'd you get it?"

"Axel, leave me alone. I don't feel well."

Axel shook his head. "Now that is exactly the wrong thing to say to get me to leave you alone, got it memorized?"

Demyx sighed heavily. "Ax, I wanna sleep, okay...?"

Axel raised an eyebrow, even though Demyx wouldn't see it. "Fully dressed?"

"Mm-hmm."

Axel turned to look - Demyx had his eyes closed, and looked like he was at least about to fall asleep, if he wasn't already. Sighing, he removed his feet from the desk and shoved the chair over to the bed. "What's wrong?" he asked, putting a hand to Demyx's forehead and frowning. "I don't think you're running a fever..."

Demyx rolled over reluctantly and put a hand to his chest. "It just feels like...there's a big _hole_ in there...that shouldn't be there..." He groaned faintly. "Maybe I shoulda just come home early and pleaded illness..." He rolled back over and tried to sink into the mattress.

"You know, it might work better if you actually changed into your pajamas and got under the covers," Axel said in a conversational tone, trying to think of what could be causing this and what he could do about it. "...Hot chocolate. You need hot chocolate."

"Mmph." Figuring that was the best response he was likely to get, Axel portaled down to the kitchen. Xaldin seemed to be in the middle of something important, so he just grabbed a mug and a packet of powdered hot chocolate mix and fled before anyone noticed him. By the time he returned, Demyx was putting on his pajamas. "That was quick..."

"I didn't wanna get in Xaldin's way. He was doing something that looked important." Axel held the mug out to Demyx. "Need some water - I can heat it up myself."

"Mmph," Demyx grunted as he filled the mug with water. "Probably getting ready for the party tonight."

"Party?" Axel was baffled for a moment, until he remembered what Demyx was probably talking about. "Oh yeah, the New Year's Eve party..."

Demyx smiled a very little. "Wouldn't think you'd want to miss that, would you..."

Axel shrugged as he started heating the mug. "We got time..." The party didn't start until 9:00, after all, and it was only...He checked Demyx's clock. 8:17.

_Option A: Hope Demyx is doing better in under 45 minutes. Option B: Show up late._

_Take Option B, dipshit. You owe him anyway._ "Just a second. I need something to stir with..."

By the time he got back from the kitchen with a spoon, Demyx was bundled up under the covers and seemed to have gone to sleep. Axel sighed in exasperation, and Demyx stirred and opened his eyes. "Not sleeping yet...no such luck..."

"Good..." Axel stirred the mix into the hot water and handed it to him. "So...other than that, how was your day?"

"Not so bad...considering..." Demyx took one drink and set it down. "What about you? Shouldn't you be getting ready for the party?"

Axel ran a hand through his hair. "...Nah...that can wait...I'll just stick around until you're feeling better."

He never did make it to the party, but he had to admit he didn't especially mind.


	89. Featuring Demyx as Spiderman

_This is _not_ how I wanted to spend Axel's birthday..._

Demyx crawled carefully across the ceiling, trying to trace the flow of water through pipes he couldn't see. There was apparently some sort of plumbing problem in this general area, that was holding up one of Vexen's experiments in progress, and having him check out the water situation was easier than trying to fit someone into the crawlspaces. He really, really wished he could have done it from the floor. "Xigbar...how do you put up with this?"

"What are you talkin' about? This is fun, dude!"

"Fun? If I was standing up, I think I'd be sick..." He tried to relocate the water flow and where it might be going awry, as vertigo had interrupted his concentration. "Shit...I think I need to be on the wall..."

"Which wall? Crawl over to it and I'll reorient you."

"...What the hell is this? A comedy act?"

Demyx looked up - down? - just long enough to make out an untidy shock of red hair, before nausea fixed his gaze to the ceiling again. "No. I'm trying to find where something's going wrong with the plumbing." He crawled sideways over to the wall he thought the problem was hiding behind, the world shifted around again, and - oh, Kingdom Hearts. Looking at everything upside-down wasn't nearly as bad as looking at it sideways.

And Axel was laughing at him. "It looks like a comedy act. Or a Spider-Man impersonation."

Demyx shuddered and gulped, trying to make everything in his stomach stay where it belonged. "Xigbar...if I threw up right now, where would it go?"

"I could make sure it landed on Axel's head..."

"...Eww." Axel backed several steps down the corridor. "It looks like fun, though..."

Demyx didn't answer. He just gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, and crawled across the wall to where he thought the problem was. "Okay...I think it's around here...and I think if I don't get off the wall in five seconds, I'm gonna be sick."

"All right, crawl over to the floor and I'll set you back up straight," Xigbar said with a note of urgency. Demyx's stomach lurched as he opened his eyes to check which direction the floor was in, but he made it all the way there without embarrassing himself.

Once the world was finally oriented correctly, he sprawled on the floor, not caring whether or not he looked stupid. "I love level ground...By the way, Ax...that wasn't fun."

Axel peered down at him, grinning cheekily. "Why, Demyx, your face seems to have turned a rather unusual shade...if I dragged you upright, would it make you spew?"

Demyx held up a hand. "Give me a few minutes. Xigbar...I hate this job..."

"I could tell. Good thing there are ladders in the crawlspaces."

Demyx wanted to cry. "Okay, no. Just...no. I've suffered enough."

Xigbar was laughing as he strolled casually down the wall. "Fine, fine, you can try to squeeze into the crawlspace tomorrow...you two get out of here and go have some fun, all right? Don't get wasted!"

Axel stuck out his tongue at him as he helped Demyx back to his feet. "Don't worry, I'll keep him in line!"

Demyx grinned and socked him lightly in the shoulder - he was feeling better already. "I'll be sure to return the favor, then. And if he gets away from me and gets tanked anyway, I'll make sure he winds up puking his guts out in front of your door."

"Wouldn't be the first time...have fun, dudes!" Xigbar waved and disappeared through the wall.

Demyx looked over at Axel. "So...what's on the menu? Corned beef and hash with a pint of Guinness?"

Axel ruffled his hair. "Nah. I was thinking of the place that makes the best burgers in the worlds, that I know of."

Demyx coughed nervously. "Ax...just so you know...I don't eat beef."

Axel pondered this for a moment. "...Well, they do damn good chicken sandwiches too."

"Oh." Demyx blinked. "Great...and, um, what's the legal drinking age in that world?"

"21." Axel grinned widely. "Which I now am. So the pint of Guinness is still on."

"Oh, great..."

* * *

AN: Hey, look, it's chapter 89.


	90. In which Axel makes an improv speech

"Took you long enough to get back, dude!"

Axel shrugged noncommittally. "Not my fault. It started pouring rain almost as soon as I was done - it took an age to dry out enough to come home."

Luxord shrugged amiably. "Well, as long as he made it within a reasonable timeframe...if you're ready, we can leave right now."

Axel nodded, a little distantly. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy going out drinking with the other guys, but tonight, for some reason, his heart wouldn't have quite been in it even if he'd had one. He was remembering a little too clearly what had happened the last time he'd been rip-roaring drunk. "Where are we going? Port Royal again?"

"Yes...it offers the best price possible for something drinkable..."

"And fighting," Xigbar added. "Don't forget the fighting."

"I don't get into every barfight I see," Axel muttered, still distracted. "It wouldn't even be possible...what's the legal drinking age in Port Royal?"

Luxord and Xigbar just stared at each other in confusion. "I...don't believe there is one," Luxord says finally. "If there is, I daresay it's largely ignored. Why do you ask?"

Axel himself had not the foggiest idea why he'd asked for a good five seconds. "...You know, we really ought to invite Demyx along."

That wasn't the utter disaster he'd started worrying about the instant the words left his mouth, but neither was his suggestion received with great applause and accolades. Well, Luxord couldn't really do much, seeing as Axel outranked him, but Xigbar outranked Axel. "...You sure that's a good idea, dude?" he asked dubiously. "I mean, well, all things considered...like what he - we - might get into once we've had a few - the sort of people you meet in Port Royal..."

Axel swallowed and started ticking points off on his fingers, all the while wondering if it was even a good idea to defend himself. "First, if there's no minimum drinking age there, or at least not one that's enforced, there's no real reason we can't. Second, he really, really needs to get out more. Except when I drag him to Twilight Town for something, he spends the vast majority of his free time sitting on his ass playing sitar. Third, maybe he's not all that great at defending himself - but he's not so completely inept he's bound to get himself killed, Besides, it's not like we can't keep an eye on him and look out for him. And he's put up with a lot of shit in his life; somehow, I don't think the ordinary scum of Port Royal are going to scare him shitless if he's not alone. Really. Fourth, and possibly most important, I drink a lot less when he's around. I mean, I came back on my birthday more-or-less sober. If I'd been alone, I'd have been barely able to walk, I bet."

Xigbar nodded thoughtfully, looking a lot less skeptical. "All right, I guess we can invite him along...you must have put a lot of thought into that."

"Pulled it all out of my ass on the spot."

* * *

AN: I'm actually getting bored with this story...


	91. Which could have been worse

Demyx was getting awfully frustrated. He'd been working on this composition for three days, with great success, and all of a sudden it was going exactly nowhere. Where had he gone wrong? He didn't know, but he was reading and re-reading everything he'd written so far, trying to figure out where he'd tripped up. Somewhere he'd made a misstep that was only coming out now, some place he needed to rewrite what he'd done yesterday or before, some place where something just wasn't flowing right...or maybe he just needed a little inspiration that might be drawn from re-reading his work in progress.

Or maybe he was just having an off day, he decided when none of the above seemed to be the answer.

_Dammit...I was hoping to get it almost finished today, but I've barely written four lines worth keeping since breakfast..._

He sighed and put the sheets that had been balking him aside, then tried to figure out what he really felt like doing besides composing. The answers he eventually came up with were _take a nice, long nap in the bathtub_ and _make myself a good batch of curry_. Well, he didn't feel like going and making curry right now because he wasn't especially hungry and he'd probably be pestered to share it with someone who'd end up melting their tongue, and Axel had been gone for two days and wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow, so he would have the bathroom to himself for the rest of the day...bath first, then. It was surprising how worked up he'd managed to get himself over this composition without even realizing it; he could use the relaxation...

He was down to a bathrobe, testing the water temperature before pulling the plug and getting in, when someone started knocking on Axel's door. Not hesitantly, not angrily, not lazily. Insistently. Urgently, even.

Something wasn't computing. "...Axel? I thought you weren't going to be back until tomorrow."

Axel's voice held a very clear note of urgency. "Came back early...are you gonna be long?"

"I was about to take a bath..." Demyx heard something that sounded very like a sob from the other side of the door. "...What?"

"I really, really need the bathroom." Axel's voice was definitely pleading now.

"...What? For what?"

Axel sounded almost ready to cry. "Food poisoning..."

"..." Demyx wasted no time in turning off the tap and scrambling out of the bathroom. Axel was already opening his door even before he'd quite shut his. "That sucks; I hope it doesn't last long," he said through the door, even though Axel was probably paying him exactly zero attention.

_Poor Axel. No wonder he came back early,_ he thought. Well, this wasn't all that bad a time to go make some curry, really. Though he was pretty sure Axel wouldn't want any. Maybe a little plain rice, though. And something to drink, just so he didn't dehydrate.

By the time he got back - deliberately stretching things out a good half an hour longer than was really necessary, to give Axel a little more privacy - Axel was stretched out on his bed, with his robe unzipped and a bottle of medication close at hand. "I better not smell curry, and if I do, it better not be for me," he muttered.

"You do, but it's not," Demyx admitted. "I already ate it all. All you get is a little white rice and some apple juice."

"I guess I could handle that..." Axel groaned. "Stupid curry is what got me in the first place."

Demyx didn't know whether to be sympathetic, insulted, or appalled. "...I didn't know you'd been sent to India," he said finally.

"I wasn't. I was in London." Axel shifted uncomfortably, holding his stomach. "Teach me to go for the cheap curry shacks just because they're cheap."

Demyx felt slightly relieved - he'd never had much respect for the English version of curry. "Well, I guess eating the wrong thing every so often is kind of a mission hazard...gonna happen every so often..."

Axel nodded. "Yeah. Not all of us have solid-steel digestive tracts like you."

"...Is this about the sushi bar again?"

"No, the Cricket Lick-Its."

"...Ax, it's been three years..."

Axel was starting to smile a little. "I know, but it was funny."

"At the time, it just about made you spew."

"I know, but looking back on it, it's funny." Axel laughed a very little, as if he was afraid to laugh too hard. "Though if you brought one in, I'd still be disgusted."

Demyx stuck out his tongue at him. "Great. I'll be sure to bring you one soon. That ought to make you feel better."

Axel made a face. "Don't even think it...give me some of that juice. I feel like I've been wrung out like a sponge."

Demyx laughed and handed it over, leaving the rice handy on his bedside table. "London curry isn't as good as the genuine article anyway."

"Yes. I realize this _now_..."


	92. Which involves death

Axel knocked on Demyx's door, confused and a little alarmed at not having received a response yet. "Demyx? Come on - you are in there, right? Weren't we supposed to be going to Twilight Town after that new CD you insisted I had to have?" Nothing. "Deeeemyyyyyx..." Still nothing. "Do I have to come in there after you?" No more response to that than to anything else. "Fine, if that's how you want it..." Well on his way towards irritated by now, he jerked the door open. "Come on. Is there some special reason you're act- ..." He paused in mid-sentence. Demyx was apparently kneeling in front of his CD player, paying zero attention to what was going on around him. "...Demyx? Are you all right?" Still no response, until Axel laid a hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly, giving Axel a tragic look - but also a clear view of his fishbowl, and the dead goldfish that was floating belly-up therein. "...Oh...aw, man...poor Chompers..."

"I just found him like that when I got back," Demyx said in a soft voice with no inflection.

"Aw, man...that really sucks...you only had him for, like, what, a year? Not even that - your birthday's still six weeks away..."

"I know," Demyx said in that same dull voice.

Axel was starting to get the impression he wasn't getting through, but he kept talking anyway. "Poor guy...guess goldfish are like that, though...very short lifespans...oh, well, if we were going into town today anyway, we can get you a new one while we're there..."

"I don't want another goldfish."

"...What?"

"I don't want another goldfish," Demyx repeated. His tone was lifeless as ever, but his voice was slightly raised.

"..." _Stop talking, Axel. Stop talking. You're digging yourself a deeper hole._ "...Why not?"

Demyx sighed and sat back on his heels, still keeping his eyes on the goldfish bowl and its deceased occupant. "Chompers was the first birthday present I'd had in...in..._years_. The first one _ever_ from anyone other than my grandmother. I...I can't just _replace_ him." Axel kept his mouth shut, finally. Demyx sat there for a long while, saying nothing, wiping his eyes every so often. "...I guess I really ought to do something with him," he said finally. "I mean...I can't just leave him floating there, can I."

"No, I guess not." Axel held himself to those four words until further notice.

"Of course I can't," Demyx said softly, and as if a spell had been broken, he stood up, picked up the fishbowl, and walked into the bathroom with it, moving like he was in a trance. Axel watched, silent and solemn as if the two of them were at a funeral, as the deceased was solemnly flushed down the toilet with no ceremony except the sheer gravity of the situation. Gravity that was totally inappropriate to a dead _goldfish_, Axel realized as he watched Demyx silently washing out the fishbowl, but...

Well, Chompers had been a very important goldfish, if only to Demyx. He deserved the best funeral a goldfish could receive.

Finally, the fishbowl was washed out to Demyx's satisfaction, dried off, and replaced in its former position, only empty and unoccupied. Only then did Axel break his self-imposed silence, putting an arm around Demyx's shoulders. "So...still wanna go to Twilight Town?"

"Yeah," Demyx said, his voice somewhat choked but more lively than it had been. "Still gotta find that CD."

Axel nodded as he opened the portal. "...Yeah...actually, I think we should start with ice cream this time."

* * *

AN: Well, Chomper's bowl was empty and vacant by the time Axel-betta came along. What could possibly have happened to him? Well, he is a goldfish...


	93. In which Demyx learns responsibility

"You've made excellent progress, Nine," Zexion said musingly as he read over the last general exam Demyx had completed. "Still a bit shaky in some areas, especially higher math, but the fundamentals are perfectly sound."

"Well...that's good..." Demyx said, his mind not exactly on the task at hand.

"In fact," Zexion continued, either not noticing or not caring that Demyx wasn't paying the best of attention, "if you were interested in pursuing a general education diploma, I have no doubt that you could earn one quite easily."

Now that got Demyx's attention. "Y-you think I should? Get a GED, I mean?"

Zexion shrugged. "There's really no _compelling_ reason why you should, but there's _no_ reason, compelling or otherwise, why you shouldn't."

Demyx was having a hard time believing his ears. A GED. Concrete proof that, had he stayed in school, he was smart enough to have graduated on time - maybe not at the top of his class, but he could have graduated. That had been one of his strongest arguments against continuing lessons - that it didn't matter how much ground he had to make up; he wasn't bright enough to do it, and would inevitably have been behind his age level no matter what. He'd fully expected to be at least four years behind for the rest of his life, if he didn't just lose even more ground as he went along. But Zexion - and who would know better than Zexion - thought that not only had he fully made up the four years he'd lost, he was now exactly where someone his age should be, education-wise. Not one year behind, not four years behind - he was right where he should be. He'd been smart enough to cover seven years' worth of learning in three.

He couldn't help but laugh giddily. "Of course I'm interested! When can I start working on it?"

Zexion thought for a few moments. "Well, any testing center is bound to ask for some form of valid identification...I presume you have no such thing left from your Other's life?" Demyx shook his head. Presumably, as far as the government was concerned, he'd fallen off the face of the earth after his grandmother's death. Not enrolled in any school, had no legal guardian to track, didn't live at any particular address, never had a phone number, never registered to vote or took a driver's test or got a passport - he hadn't even had a green card; that had been turned in when he'd become an American citizen. "Well, one can be created within two weeks...two weeks which would probably be best spent studying. Especially geometry."

"...A legal one?" Demyx just had to ask.

Zexion gave him an opaque look. "As long as it's accepted as valid at the testing center, it fulfills all of _our_ requirements."

Demyx was about to ask whether the ID in question would have been issued by any agency other than a skilled forger when the library door banged open. "There you are! I've been looking for you for damn ages!"

Demyx almost fell out of his chair. "Ax - hi - what for?"

Axel gave him an are-you-shitting-me look. "Because tomorrow's your birthday, and I'm going to be gone for five days starting tomorrow morning? Leaving tonight as the best night to celebrate anything? Any of this ring a bell?"

"Well - yeah - now that you mention it - but -" Demyx looked back at Zexion doubtfully, not sure if he'd be allowed to go now.

Zexion raised an eyebrow at him. "Nine, I believe you're of an age and maturity level where you should be capable of, and responsible for, setting your own priorities."

Meaning he was free to go or stay as he wished. Demyx was about to spring up and go with Axel -

_Capable of, and responsible for._

Seven years' worth of learning, covered in three. Proof that he was at least as smart as all the bullies and jackasses that had driven him out of school the first chance he had. Proof that he wasn't as big an idiot as everyone thought he was, including himself. It was so close...

One night out partying with Axel _probably_ wouldn't ruin it all.

Was it worth the risk?

Demyx sighed heavily. "Sorry, Ax. I owe you. Try not to get yourself killed before I can make it up to you."

Axel's jaw dropped. "Are you shitting me?!"

Demyx shook his head. "I'm sorry, but this is really important. I can't just walk out on this right now."

Axel stared at him like he thought Demyx had nary a marble or a clue concealed anywhere on his person. "...How important?"

"Vitally important."

Axel sighed and headed back out the door. "Fine...if you say so...you owe me, though." Demyx flinched a bit as the library door banged shut again.

Zexion gave him an approving look as Demyx opened his geometry textbook, flipping back to the trig section that always gave him a fit. Demyx barely noticed - he was dimly aware that he'd done the right, responsible thing, but it didn't feel quite as right as he thought it should.

* * *

AN: (pats Demyx on the head) Some lessons you can't learn from books.


	94. Which is kind of embarrassing

Well, if that wasn't just the kicker. Axel had come back from his five-day mission to discover Demyx had been sent on a seven-day mission the day before his return. Demyx's projected birthday party had been delayed another week. And a remarkably boring week it had been. For once, Axel had been eager for a chance at going out and hunting some helpless Heartless - video games had started to become boring. Meals were an outright drag without anyone to talk to.

_Oh, come on. He'll be back by tomorrow morning at the latest._

Axel sighed, already wondering what the hell he'd do with himself after dinner that he wasn't already bored to death with, and reached for another piece of fried chicken - eating, at least, he wasn't bored with yet. But the piece of chicken he'd been reaching for was suddenly snatched away almost right from under his hand. He looked up, intending to deck whoever had just swiped his food - and Demyx was standing behind him, gobbling the chicken like he hadn't seen food since before he left. Axel couldn't help but stare, not only at this particularly unceremonious return, but at this frankly shocking behavior - Demyx never acted like that, under any circumstance Axel had ever seen. While he and the entire Organization watched, Demyx devoured every edible bit of chicken, threw the bones in the trash can from five feet away, then grabbed another piece and started stuffing it down at the same rate. About halfway through the second piece, he glanced up and seemed to realize how everyone was staring at him. His response was just as uncharacteristic; he paused, raised an eyebrow at everyone, said "I'll apologize for my manners later," and went back to devouring his chicken.

Xigbar was the first one to actually say anything. "Dude...did you eat _at all_ while you were gone?"

Demyx swallowed hard and nodded. "Once."

"...Once a day, or..."

"Once, period." Demyx took another huge bite of chicken and barely chewed before swallowing it. "Second day." He finished eating the piece he was working on and grabbed a roll before continuing. "No damn food in that world." He ate the entire roll in about four bites and grabbed another one.

Not knowing what else to do, Axel pulled a chair out for him to sit in, and Demyx sat down without even seeming to notice. More than a little disturbed by his singlemindedness, Axel offered him a plate, and Demyx's only response was to pile food on it and dig in. "...Wow, you must have been starving," Axel said, feeling like an idiot even while he said it. Demyx nodded and kept eating relentlessly. While Axel watched, he devoured two more pieces of chicken, three rolls, at least a dozen and a half steak fries, and two helpings of broccoli and cheese.

_He's gonna eat himself sick in a hurry,_ Axel thought, then _God, he looks awful from this distance - didn't he sleep either?_ Demyx's face was pale and drawn, there were dark circles under his eyes - and while he was finishing off the last of his steak fries, his eyelids started to droop, and then his head, until he ended up facedown in his plate. Axel gave him a gentle nudge, and got nothing but a snore in return.

He glanced around, and realized everyone was still staring at Demyx. "He's out," was all he said.

There were a few more minutes of continued silence, and then Xemnas spoke up. "Four, examine Nine as soon as reasonably possible. Eight, assuming his vital signs are stable and he has no injuries requiring medical attention, take him up to his room to rest. Two, I need to discuss something with you as soon as possible..." Xigbar actually looked a little nervous, for the first time in Axel's experience - well, mission assignments were his responsibility, and he'd sent Demyx on a mission that had clearly driven him to the absolute limit; it stood to reason there would be trouble over it.

Vexen lifted Demyx's face out of his plate; Demyx jerked awake suddenly with a panicked expression. "Gah! Ah-whaa...?"

Vexen glared down at him with an exasperated look. "Nine...you need sleep," was all he said.

Demyx nodded wearily, absentmindedly wiping grease off his face with a glove. "I know."

"I recommend you wash your face and get some."

Demyx flushed bright red as Vexen stalked away, and Axel couldn't help but ruffle his hair. "Been through the wringer, haven't you."

Demyx nodded, his eyelids already starting to droop. "You could say that..."

Axel stood up, hauled Demyx to his feet, and opened a portal to his bedroom. "All right, sleep. Superior's orders." Demyx offered not a word of protest.


	95. In which Demyx has a brutal headache

Good things never seemed to come alone. It would have been nicer, though, if they only came with other good things. The good thing, in this context, was Demyx's GED certificate, the all-important proof that he wasn't as dumb as everyone said he was and that he was just as good as any of those assholes he used to go to school with - or even better, since he'd had to cover seven years of schooling in three and still managed to "graduate" on time.

The part that came with it was a headache that made him feel like his eyesocket was going to implode. The associated nausea offered very, _very_ little comfort.

Demyx was hiding his face in his pillow, wondering how much Tylenol it was going to take and whether it would be within spitting distance of the recommended dosage, when Axel wandered in. His footsteps sounded painfully loud. "Hey, are you ready to go yet, or..." The footsteps approached Demyx's bedside. "...Actually, you look like you started the partying a little too early."

Demyx rolled over, covering his eyes with one hand, holding his stomach with the other, and wishing he had a third hand with which to hold his head. "Axel..." he said softly and slowly. "I am not hungover. I have not touched alcohol since Larxene joined. I have not been off celebrating my birthday without you. I have not been off celebrating anything without you. I have an absolute splitting headache that's not responding to Tylenol. In fact, I think I'm going to be sick; it hurts that damn much." He groaned and rolled back over - as long as everything in his field of view was dark, he felt a little better. "Put it this way...I'm not gonna celebrate anything tonight."

Axel sighed heavily. "Well...damn. I've only been waiting for two weeks now."

"'M sorry, Ax..." Demyx murmured, and then wondered what he had to apologize for. It wasn't exactly his fault.

A warm hand started rubbing his back. "Damn...I guess if you're feeling sick to your stomach, it wouldn't be a good idea to get you some hot chocolate or ice cream or anything..." Demyx lifted his face from the pillow just long enough to shake his head. "Well...damn."

Demyx buried his face even deeper into his pillow. "You said that once already."

Axel continued rubbing his back for several minutes. "...You want me to turn your CD player on or anything?"

"_No_," Demyx said with as much vehemence as he could muster.

Axel's hand stopped. "Um...okay...is there a...reason...for this?"

"Noise makes it hurt worse."

"Ah..." Axel started rubbing his back again. "Guess that makes sense...it's just that it's so totally unlike you to not want music."

Demyx groaned, rolled over, and sat up a little, intending to encourage Axel to leave the room and let him rest, except just then, his stomach finally flipped on him, and the afternoon snack he'd eaten before the headache set in wound up in Axel's lap. "I am so sorry," he squeaked in horror when he realized what had just happened.

Axel looked down at his ruined robe, sighed heavily, and stood up; a moment later, the robe was incinerated without so much as scorching the T-shirt under it. "Right. Why don't I just leave you alone to rest for a while." Demyx nodded weakly, feeling humiliated, and Axel pulled his blankets over him. Demyx buried his head under them, mumbling something that was meant to sound like thanks. "You'd better be better tomorrow, got it memorized?"

* * *

AN: I have Demyx's headache right now. It sucks. It sucks balls.


	96. Which involves a kidnapping plot

"All right...we're never gonna get a better chance...just be really quiet..." Axel hissed to his partners in crime. Their target clearly had no idea they were there; he was sitting down, facing the other direction, completely absorbed in what he was doing. "You guys ready?" Axel quickly glanced over at both his partners, making eye contact and nodding swiftly to each in turn, then turning back to their still-oblivious target. "All right...when I say three, just move as quick as you can without making noise...one...two...three." The three of them moved in near-perfect unison, taking their target completely by surprise, enveloping him in a thick, heavy blanket and carrying him away before he could so much as shout in protest.

"The fuck are you guys doing?!" Demyx yelled, struggling under the blanket.

"It's been almost three weeks since your birthday, and we're still waiting on the party!" Axel shouted back, trying not to laugh too hard.

"You're fucking kidnapping me!"

"Yeah?" Axel did laugh at that. "It seemed to be the only way! All right, where are we going -"

"I was working on something!"

Xigbar laughed as he opened the portal. "And it'll be right there waitin' for you when you get back! Come on! Your friend is party-deprived!"

"I will so get you for this! I'll get you both!"

Luxord poked him in the side. "Good! I take that to mean I'm off the hook, then?"

Demyx flailed and thrashed unsuccessfully. "What the fuck?! Is the entire Organization in on this?!"

"There's just three of us..."

"I'll get you all, then!"

Xigbar could barely stop laughing long enough to talk. "All right...all right...put him down, you two, before someone sics the cops on us..."

Axel and Luxord obediently set Demyx down on his feet and removed the blanket. Demyx looked ready to deck both of them. "The hell was that?!"

Axel ruffled his already-mussed hair. "An act of desperation, little brother. Come on, I've been waiting three weeks for this...this seemed to be the only way it was ever gonna happen..." Demyx reddened slightly and bit his lip, but Axel held a finger over his lips before he could say anything. "For Pete's sake, don't apologize. It's not your fault - or at least not entirely your fault," he added, glaring meaningfully at Xigbar.

Xigbar shrugged helplessly. "I swear, I had no idea how bad that world was..."

Luxord started pushing the other three towards the bar entrance. "All right, what are we doing here, if we're going to stand around talking and never actually go inside? You have to be inside to get served!"

Demyx pointed at Xigbar, still being propelled towards the door. "That's another thing - you owe me a week's worth of food and four days of sleep!"

Xigbar held up his hands in surrender. "All right! All right! How about I pick up your tab to make up for it?"

Axel choked in protest. "No fair! I was gonna do that!"

"Hush, dude. I have more munny than you do."

Demyx was blushing again, and scratching his head. "Guys - I -"

Axel looped his arm around his shoulder and pushed him in the door. "You what?"

"...I'm still gonna get you for this."

* * *

AN: (whistles)


	97. In which Demyx stands up for something

Demyx was no stranger to public humiliation. The entire reason he'd stopped going to school after his grandmother died was because he couldn't bear the thought of one more day in that Hell. As part of his daily routine, his appearance was insulted, his intelligence belittled, his accent mocked, his shyness made fun of, and every last aspect of his features and personality made a schoolwide object of derision, including - scratch that, especially - his refusal to celebrate Christmas. As if the constant verbal torment wasn't enough, he went home at least once a week with bumps and bruises from physical attacks. And, of course, his total inability to defend himself for beans only added to the next day's verbal abuse.

Standing on the sidelines while his best friend was being publicly humiliated was an entirely new experience, primarily because before joining the Organization, he hadn't had any friends, especially not any best friends.

Axel's face was turning as red as his hair as Xigbar and Luxord described his indiscretions at Demyx's birthday party to everyone gathered at the dinner table. "And then he put his hand right on the dude's ass, and the dude snuggled right up to him!"

"Next time we go out, maybe we should just drop him off at a gay bar first!"

Almost everyone at the table looked amused to some degree or another, except for Xemnas, whose expression clearly said "For the love of Kingdom Hearts, spare me this garbage". Larxene was cracking up left, right, and center, Vexen looked positively gleeful at the sight of Axel's discomfiture, and even the eternally-stoic Lexaeus was cracking a smile. As a matter of fact, besides Xemnas, the only person at the table who didn't seem to find this amusing was Axel. As the humiliated redhead buried his head in his hands, Demyx could have sworn he heard something like a broken sob.

The shy, frightened little schoolboy was suddenly nowhere in evidence as Demyx stood up and cleared his throat loudly. "Um, not to ruin everyone's fun, but...what the hell difference does it make? Seriously?"

Everyone gradually stopped laughing and stared at him, even Axel, while Xemnas, much to his surprise, gave him an almost grateful look. Luxord was the first to find his voice. "Um...sorry, but what do you mean, what difference does it make? You were there, weren't you? You saw what happened..."

Demyx nodded and swallowed hard. "Sure, I was there, and I did see it. But I mean, what difference does it make in the long run whether Axel likes guys, girls, or both? I mean, I've known he was bi for years..."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow, smirking wickedly. "Dare I ask how exactly you knew that?"

"He told me, you dipshit." Secretly, Demyx was shaking in his boots - standing up and speaking out for anything in public unnerved him to an incredible degree - but he forced an air of bravado. "Now seriously. So we all just found out he likes guys too. Is he any different today than yesterday? No. Is anything any different? It shouldn't be, and if it is, it isn't _his_ fault."

Silence reigned for a few minutes, until Xigbar coughed nervously and glanced away. "...You got a point, I guess."

"Good. Can we all shut up about it now?" Everyone looked at each other, then at him, but no one said anything. Satisfied that he'd made his point, Demyx sat down and reached for his fork, only to realize his hand was shaking so much he could barely hold onto it.

Axel sat silently, still hiding his face in his hands, for several more minutes. When he finally moved his hands, his face had gone from bright red to pale and drained. "Thanks," he said very quietly. "I owe you one."

"A-anytime," Demyx said. All of a sudden, his voice was shaking too. "J-just t-try not to f-flirt with o-other g-guys when we're o-out d-drinking."


	98. Featuring Demyx in a straitjacket

_I shoulda told him how much I really appreciated that..._

Well, Axel couldn't possibly have known that two days after his long-delayed birthday party, and one day after the debacle over dinner, Demyx would be sent on a three-day mission. And even if he had, he probably wouldn't have worried overmuch. A three-day mission, in and of itself, wasn't that big a deal.

Except Demyx had now been gone on said three-day mission for six days. And at this point, Axel couldn't do much besides worry.

Well, technically, he could. Right now, for instance, he was trying to play Halo. It was just no fun at all, when he was too busy thinking about where Demyx was and what might have happened to him...whether he was badly hurt, or seriously ill, or had been thrown in a dungeon somewhere...well, at least he could find out whether or not he was alive quickly and easily, but not how alive or where...and if he was in serious trouble, would Saix and Xigbar be able to find him in time...? The possibilities were endless, and few of them were pleasant...the last time Demyx hadn't come back within two days of when he was supposed to, Axel had found him at the bottom of a ravine, injured, delirious, and close to death...

"Hey, Ax, since the game seems to be kicking your ass left, right, and center, can I get a little help over here?"

Axel dropped his controller at the sound of that voice. When he turned to look, the sight that met his eyes was so surreal - no, not surreal, just plain bizarre - he had to pinch himself twice to make sure he was actually seeing it. "Demyx...what the hell...why are you...what happened?"

Demyx sighed heavily. "What, the straitjacket? Isn't it the most incredibly stylish look? And it's just amazingly comfortable, too; I expect Xemnas will make this our new official uniform within two weeks...would you help me out of this damn thing before I fall over?"

Axel couldn't help but laugh giddily as he struggled with and eventually burned through the straps of the straitjacket. "Sorry...not laughing at you - I was just sitting there, wondering what the hell had happened to you and whether you were lying bleeding in a ditch somewhere or what...and then all of a sudden, there you are! Wearing a goddamn straitjacket!"

Demyx's acute irritation faded slowly as Axel helped him out of the straitjacket. "Jeez...thank you. I am so glad to be out of that thing." He stretched his arms, as if trying to get used to having them free again. "If I'd known they were gonna do that, I'd've tried a different tactic. Though this one worked, I gotta admit."

Axel sat down on the bed, still holding the straitjacket, feeling overwhelmed by the suddenness of it all. "What tactic? Worked for what? What happened to you? Where were you? And where did the straitjacket come in?"

Demyx flopped down onto the floor, leaning against the bed and suddenly looking absolutely drained. "It's a...long, complicated story..."

Axel couldn't help but chuckle. "I figured it would be..."

"Yeah..." Demyx closed his eyes for a few moments. "It was just plain bad luck. I arrived in town one day - one - after someone in a long black coat with a hood robbed the local bank at gunpoint. No one got a very accurate description of him, because he'd had his hood up the whole time, so the only proof I might possibly have had that I wasn't the robber was that I was wearing different shoes and I had no gun. The police didn't think it was very good proof, and they needed to arrest someone..."

Axel was already cringing deeply. "Ouch."

Demyx nodded wearily. "I wanted the hell out of jail as soon as I could manage...but, hell, I had no alibi I figured they'd take seriously, I was a complete stranger to the area, they didn't have any better suspects...and I couldn't just portal out of there because I was always in sight of someone - guards or other prisoners..." He rubbed his forehead. "And...I didn't like the way some of those guys were looking at me. At all."

Axel nodded slowly, cringing even more deeply. "I hear you. I hear you."

"So...I tried something that I thought would be sure to get everyone else to leave me alone, and possibly get me out of there and into some situation where I'd be out of sight long enough to open a portal and escape. Faking insanity."

Axel looked at the straitjacket again. "Allow me to guess it worked."

Demyx nodded wearily. "I held nothing back - long, rambling conversations with gods, saints, demons, and long-deceased statesmen...seeing a world on fire every time I looked out a window...randomly screaming that 'they're coming for us' at any and all hours...bursting into tears - or into demented laughter - at random points in conversation...gnawing on my fingers until they bled, then accusing someone invisible of hurting my hands whenever someone asked..." He held out his damaged hands for Axel's incredulous inspection. "I even picked out one particular guard to accuse of being the Antichrist - I just went nuts - well, more nuts - whenever I saw him. I even pretended to knock myself out running into a brick wall to get away from him, which is when they shipped me off to the state mental hospital. I kept up the act every second I was there - within five minutes, I'd picked out one of the nurses as a 'goddess' and started clinging to her knees, begging her to protect me from the demons. They promptly admitted me and put me in a padded cell by myself. Unfortunately, they put me in a straitjacket first."

Axel nodded. He tried to force himself to think of what Demyx had been going through - the fear, the uncertainty, the combined isolation and constant exposure, having to be on his guard at all times in case he let his act slip - or in case one of the other prisoners decided his body was worth the risk of getting that close to a madman - the careful balancing act between not being convincing enough and overdoing it, the terror of being found out as perfectly sane, or worse yet, as a Nobody...

He still couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry - I'm sorry - I know - that must have been awful - but -"

Demyx groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Maybe, in five years or so, I'll think it's funny too."

* * *

AN: This started with an image of Demyx in a straitjacket saying "Can I get a little help here?"


	99. Which isn't nearly as funny

Academically, Demyx knew he should have been proud of himself. Xigbar had told him as much, once he got over being annoyed that Demyx had rescued himself instead of sitting quietly and waiting for Xigbar and Saix to rescue him. That hadn't taken long, actually. He'd looked genuinely impressed and astonished at Demyx's explanation of what had happened and how he got himself out of jail, and Demyx had the feeling that Xigbar was hard to genuinely impress and astonish - he'd even admitted that he never would have thought of it himself.

It was just that keeping the straitjacket as a trophy, per Xigbar's, Axel's, Luxord's, and even Xaldin's repeated suggestions, held so very little appeal. He didn't want to have to look at it on a regular basis. He couldn't even glance at it without the chilling sensation of having his arms strapped down and pinned to his sides.

Blessed Gods, if he hadn't been able to open a portal without having his hands free...

He'd still be propped up against the wall of a rubber room, wondering what the hell he'd been thinking when he'd decided faking insanity was a great way to get out of jail. He might be trying to convince the hospital staff he wasn't crazy, he was just pretending, probably to no avail. He might even be going genuinely insane by now. He'd heard the stories...of psychology students, mostly, faking insanity in order to get admitted to a mental hospital and gather some great material for a research paper, except that when they explained who they were and reassured the staff they were really sane, that was taken as further proof that they _weren't_ sane, and they remained locked in the mental hospital, still screaming that they were perfectly sane and there had been a mistake...until they were eventually driven truly mad...

If he hadn't been able to open a portal without his hands free, that could have been him.

But if he'd stayed in jail, and not pretended to be crazy, or if he'd been found out as a fake at the hospital and sent back...sure, Xigbar and Saix would have found him eventually, but what could have happened in the meantime...it was obvious to anyone who looked at him what kind of fighter he was - none at all - a dangerous thing to be in jail...and he didn't think the guards would have been any kinder to him than the other prisoners...what if he'd put on the crazy act, but they hadn't sent him to the mental hospital; they'd just left him there and ignored how he screamed about the end of the world...or maybe gave him a kick or two, or more as needed, to make him shut the hell up...or, since no one knew him, cared about him, or really gave a damn what happened to him, if someone had decided to shut him up permanently...or if someone had looked at his healthy young body and decided he'd be easy enough to subdue, even if he was nuts...

"Are you coming to dinner, or not?"

Demyx didn't even look up at Axel. "No. Don't think so. Don't feel too good."

Axel sighed. "You know, you've been acting weird since you got back..." Demyx nodded mutely. Axel sighed again. "Come on. What's with you? You should be proud of yourself! You beat the rescue team to the punch and saved your own ass!"

"I know," Demyx snapped. He'd only heard it a dozen times from four or five different people. And maybe, to them, he had done something worth being proud of. From his point of view, the most amazing thing he'd done was get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time - again. All he'd done after that was try to survive and escape a bad situation. A bad situation that could have gotten so much worse, so quickly...he couldn't even decide which of a thousand bad endings qualified as the worst-case scenario...

He leaned against the wall, hugging himself involuntarily, grateful for its hardness and coldness and solidity. Walls should not give at a touch, he thought as he stroked the white stone with one hand, letting the stone's coolness soothe his throbbing fingers. Walls should be hard and solid, and hands should be free to touch things like hard, solid walls. Or to reach up and touch your hair when you were wondering if you'd busted your scalp open when your head hit the floor. Or to help get you back on your feet when you'd just fallen on your face, before the well-meaning idiots around you had to prop you up and haul you into a standing position by your shoulders. Or just to help you balance so you didn't fall on your Godsdamned face to begin with.

"Eventually, the rest of your brain will remember you're not there anymore and are never going back." Demyx glanced up just as Axel sat down next to him. "I spent my first week here sleeping with my door standing open just to prove to myself I could walk out whenever I wanted."

Demyx looked up at him, his mouth hanging open and a question on the tip of his tongue - but he closed his mouth and let the question die unasked. It might be better for all involved if he didn't know. He understood that Axel understood, and right then, that would do.


	100. Which is downright angsty

"So...what's on your mind?"

Demyx never even turned to look at Axel. His gaze remained locked on the falling leaf until it reached the stream and was swept away. "Death."

Axel had not the faintest of clues how to respond to that. "...O...kay...whose death? Dare I even ask?"

Demyx shrugged. "No one's in particular. Just in general."

Axel rubbed his forehead, wondering whether he even wanted to know. "Right...you're standing outside on a gorgeous day, watching leaves fall, thinking about death in general...why?"

Demyx just shrugged again. "No reason, I guess..."

Axel sighed. "All right, let me amend that. You're standing outside on a gorgeous day, watching leaves fall, thinking about death for no reason." He shook his head. "Demyx, are you okay? Have you been diagnosed with cancer or something without telling me?"

Demyx sort of turned around. "Trust me, Ax. If I'd been diagnosed with cancer, you'd be the third to know. First would be Vexen, second would be me." He turned back to the red-and-gold tree, watching another leaf slowly drift to the ground.

Axel ran a hand through his hair, wishing he'd never opened his mouth. "You know, if you're going to think of death, why not think of death on a mission, when it might actually be a possibility? Why in the middle of Twilight Town on your day off, for Kingdom Hearts's sake?"

Demyx shrugged. "Dunno."

"Demyx?"

"Yeah?"

"You're weird." Demyx just shrugged. Axel gritted his teeth and walked in a circle around him, until he was standing between Demyx and the tree. He was a little surprised by Demyx's expression - he'd kind of been expecting that odd little half-smile Demyx often wore when he was thinking something unusual; instead, he looked quite grave. Almost as if he was contemplating his own death. "...Are you sure you're okay?"

Demyx's voice was distant, as if he, or at least his mind, was far away. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Axel shook his head, took Demyx's arm, and guided him over to a bench. "You don't look fine, you're not acting fine, and you're apparently not having healthy thoughts. So, what's eating you?" Demyx just closed his eyes. "Come on. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Demyx shook his head. "It's...it's nothing. It's really nothing. I was just watching the leaves, thinking about how it was going to be winter soon, back home as well as here...and after winter comes spring...and then summer, and then fall, and then winter all over again...and how time keeps marching on...how we keep getting older...how we're all gonna die eventually...and then my mind got stuck on that particular subject." He sighed. "Sorry. I'm being pointlessly morbid. I can't help it."

Axel gritted his teeth. "Great. It's contagious." Now that Demyx had explained his line of thinking, Axel couldn't keep his thoughts from straying down the exact same path. Frankly, it was disturbing and uncomfortable to contemplate his own death, or Demyx's, or anyone's. Even when he tried to reassure himself that they were young and healthy and would have a long time to live first, it didn't help. After all, there was no stopping time. Unless, of course, you were Luxord. Too bad he was Axel.

_Do Nobodies have an afterlife?..._

He sighed. "Remind me - if I ever ask you what you're thinking about, and you say death, that's my cue to drop the subject. Now I'm thinking about it too, and I don't like it." Because if not having hearts meant that they weren't entitled to an afterlife...if this was all the life they got, and when they died, they would just..._end_...

Demyx stood up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, or made something up or something. I...I'll just go now."

"No, wait, don't -" Axel tried to catch him, but too late. Demyx had already walked off, leaving Axel with even more uncomfortable thoughts.

* * *

AN: The Demmuse was feeling morbid and angsty. It's chapter 100, and he's looking to the future. Suffice to say, he doesn't like what he sees.


	101. In which Demyx goes for a late meal

_I'm nothing. I'm a Nobody. I'm the sick little child who cries in the night and knows no one will ever hear..._

Uncomfortable thoughts to have in broad daylight. When they were hounding you in your bed in the middle of the night, they were even worse.

_Why do I have to think things like this?_

Demyx rolled over, squinting at the dark ceiling. There was no reason he should be having thoughts like this. There hadn't been when he'd started on this train of thought, and twelve hours later, there still wasn't. It was just that lying there, alone in the dark, they seemed so much more potent than they had back in Twilight Town.

It didn't matter anyway. He could lie here and cry to himself all night, but then tomorrow would come, and he'd have to either cheer up or pretend everything was fine anyway. And then would come the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that...and his life would slip away, one day at a time, and no one would ever have cared that he'd spent this one night in agony...

In the long run, this miserable night wouldn't matter even to him. But right then, it mattered to him immensely.

His stomach growled peevishly. He hadn't had enough of an appetite to eat more than a few bites of dinner, and he still didn't really want to eat anything, but his stomach didn't appreciate being left empty. Unfortunately, he didn't have anything edible in his room, and he couldn't exactly go down to the kitchen and make something for himself at this time of night.

On the other hand, making his stomach shut up would be a hell of a lot easier than making his brain shut up...and it wasn't like he was going to sleep anyway...

With a depressed sigh, he heaved himself to his feet, pulled some actual clothes on, and portaled back to Twilight Town - it was the only place he could think of. It was a little chilly, wandering the streets in the middle of the night with no robe, but he didn't especially care - a hundred years from now, odds were no one would even remember he'd ever lived. Why did it matter whether he got cold right now? On that subject, why did it matter whether he got anything to eat tonight? Why did it matter whether or not he ever ate again?

If he hadn't stumbled across the little all-night Indian takeout joint, he might have been tempted to wander off to nowhere and disappear. Instead, he dragged his feet inside and pondered the menu for a full fifteen minutes, trying to decide what sounded good and what was likely to be fast and what they weren't likely to screw up and whether or not he should even order anything, before ordering keema naan and a mango lassi. While he was sitting there waiting for his food, he decided it hadn't been such a bad idea; just sitting there in the little restaurant made him feel a little more grounded in the now, though the entire situation was a little too surreal to help ground him in reality.

When his food was ready, he took his little paper bag and styrofoam cup and disappeared as soon as he was far enough out of sight no one would notice his portal. He fully expected to sit on his bed in the dark and eat until he felt a little less despondent or he ran out of food, but when he got back, his room was already brightly lit. "Where the hell were you?" Axel asked blearily, already occupying Demyx's usual seat on the bed. "Get a serious late-night craving for takeout or what?"

"Um..." Demyx could feel himself blushing a little. "Yeah."

"You scared me, I hope you know. I heard something in your room that I had no idea what was, I go investigate - there's no one there, not even you."

Demyx went even redder. "I couldn't sleep, and I thought some food might help," he murmured. "Sorry if I woke you up."

Axel patted the mattress next to him. "Split the loot and I might forgive you faster."

Demyx sat down hesitantly. "I'm not sure if you'd like it or not...besides, you actually ate dinner."

"You know me. I can always eat." Axel swiped the lassi and took a drink, then looked at it strangely. "What is that?"

"It's a mango lassi. Kind of like a smoothie made with yogurt and mango pulp." He dug the keema naan out of the bag and carefully tried to split it in half. "This is keema naan - bread stuffed with minced lamb and baked." He took a bite of his half as he handed Axel the other half. "Bit overdone, and they should have gone heavier on the spices."

Axel took a bite of his own. "Meh, I'll eat it. I've had worse. Next time you get a severe jones for Indian takeout after midnight, take me along so I can order for myself."

Demyx gave him a look. "If that's how you're gonna be, you owe me for the lassi and half the naan. You're eating my food, remember."

Axel snorted as he handed the lassi back. "If you actually made this, it would be better than it is."

"Fine, then. Tomorrow, I'll make some for you. Assuming I get the day off and Xaldin actually has any lamb in the kitchen. Not to mention the spices...I bet it would be good with some coriander..." Demyx was vaguely aware that by this time next year, both of them would probably have forgotten the whole thing and it wouldn't matter anyway, but right now, few things mattered more to him than making some better keema naan for Axel.

* * *

AN: Food cures mild depression. Especially ethnic food, for some reason.


	102. In which Axel gets a better meal

"And he was backing away, saying 'But two of the other prisoners say you were chewing on your own fingers'...and I just grinned at him and said 'Of course they did - that's what they were programmed to say!'" Demyx demonstrated the way he'd smiled at the guard as he dropped the first naan on the grill. "And I'm telling you, he could not get out of there fast enough..."

Axel nodded. "I'd believe it. If I didn't know you were faking it, I'd be checking the exits right now. You look like sanity hasn't touched you with a ten-foot pole in years."

Demyx grinned, in a more normal, less frightening way. "Well, that's good. That was exactly the impression I was trying to convey."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were just slinging me a yarn..." Axel chuckled and repeated his favorite lines from the story so far. "'Do you know why you were arrested?' 'Yeah, they dressed one of their men in a coat like mine and sent him to rob the bank the day before I got here. They wanted me to get framed for it.' '...All right...who are "they"?' 'You know..._them!_'"

Demyx shook his head as he turned the naan over. "Trust me, it's more fun to look back on than it was to live through..."

"I believe you." Axel rubbed his forehead, wondering just how much he could safely tell Demyx about how and how much he knew. Demyx's description of his complicated escape seemed like a dream - a fantasy - compared to his own year in Hell...a Hell from which he'd known there would only ever be one escape...he knew those six days had to have been bad enough to Demyx, especially since Demyx was completely innocent, but...

"Here...it's hot, but that won't be a big problem for you..." Demyx set the freshly-grilled naan down in front of Axel, shaking him back to reality. "...You died in prison, didn't you," he said softly.

Axel might have been more surprised if Demyx had slapped him in the face, but not much. "What - but - how did you -"

Demyx sighed as he put the next naan on the grill. "The first few days after I got back...when I still had to touch all the walls to make sure they were hard and that my hands were free...you told me you'd had to spend your first week here sleeping with the door open just to convince yourself you could leave the room any time...and that made me think...the last thing you'd known before losing your heart was prison...I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said anything..."

"You're right, though," Axel forced himself to say. "I...that is what happened." He swallowed hard. "...Except I was actually guilty."

_"...hereby find the defendant, Lea James Murphy, guilty of two counts of capital arson in the deaths of John Patrick Murphy and Marianne Therese Murphy..."_

It hadn't mattered to the jury that John Patrick Murphy used to scream at his son that he was a worthless bastard who should have been left in a garbage can the day he was born, and often followed the screaming with a fist. It hadn't mattered to the judge that Marianne Therese Murphy and her husband were the anonymous kidnappers and murderers of Richard Joseph Murphy - their own son, Axel/Lea's beloved little brother. It didn't seem to matter to anyone that if there was any crime greater than killing your own parents for revenge, it was killing your own child out of pure greed.

Would any of that matter to Demyx?

Axel took a big bite of the keema naan, intending to gain a moment's respite before having to answer whatever question Demyx was about to ask - whatever he asked, he would answer honestly, but damned if he wanted to. But the expected probing questions never came; the only thing Demyx asked was "How is it?"

Axel hastily focused on what he was eating right then, instead of what he'd gone through before losing his heart. "It's good. Better than the one you got last night."

"Thanks." Demyx took his own naan off the grill, waited a few minutes for it to cool, and started eating it in silence. Axel felt incredibly awkward, trying to force away all those horrible memories and focus on the here-and-now, when he just knew Demyx was dying of curiosity...and then Demyx looked over at him and smiled, without saying a thing, and he couldn't help but smile back.


	103. In which Demyx sits in the rain

"Fuck you, I'm drunk, fuck you, I'm drunk, pour my beer down the sink, I got more in the trunk..."

Demyx had no reason to believe the lyrics of that song were anything but the absolute truth just then. "Axel, I am getting so sick of this shit..."

Axel peered drunkenly around the door and grinned at him. "Sa'what? Whas' yer problem? I only had a few..."

Demyx clenched his fists. "That is exactly the problem, Axel. I'm sick of you going out and getting drunk all the time. Do you understand where I'm coming from? Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

Axel looked confused and a little hurt, not to mention more than a little tipsy. "What? I'm not hurtin' nobody..."

Demyx buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Good. As long as it stays that way, I guess it's fine, but how damn long is it gonna stay that way?"

Axel blinked at him. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Axel, you drink too damn much." Demyx jerked his hood over his face and stalked out - not just out of his room, but all the way out of the castle, and out into the rain.

_Why do I still put up with him?_

Demyx sat down in the middle of the wet street and buried his head in his hands. Just because he'd decided to stay home and compose instead of going to the bar with the other guys...well, dammit, he should have expected this...just because he hadn't wanted to go along didn't mean anyone else was going to deprive themselves for his sake...Axel hadn't even threatened him...he was just overreacting...

Should he have gone? Was that the only way he was going to fit in - by going out and getting wasted with the others every time?

Since when had he worried about fitting in?

He drew the rain off the ground and out of the sky and formed it into a water clone. Sure, the water clones always had and always would accept him unconditionally...but then again, the water clones had all the intelligence and capacity for independent thought of a bunch of jellyfish. The Dancers were as smart as really smart dogs, but like dogs, they'd be utterly devoted to him whatever he or they did. It wasn't exactly like they chose on their own to be his friends; it was more like their minds were set up specifically to have him at the center of their universe and they couldn't even think of it being any other way.

What the hell was the matter with him? It wasn't like this was the first time he'd ever seen Axel drunk...he hadn't even been too bad this time...and he definitely hadn't tried to either hit him or kiss him...

This time.

This time. There was the rub. He'd done it before; there was no reason to think he wouldn't do it again. Maybe not _this time_, but maybe next time...and, hell, he knew Axel wasn't the only one in the Organization who'd been drinking tonight...fuck, they'd even taken Larxene along, this time...

He gestured, and two of his Dancers appeared - Annaed and Lilaea, he thought. Hell, if the others knew he named the Dancers, even Axel...but if his lack of interest in alcohol kept him from being fully accepted as "one of the guys" anyway...Sighing and shaking his head, he summoned his sitar and started playing a slow melody, to which the Dancers twirled and bowed gracefully without prompting. They were, as always, impossibly graceful, perfectly synchronized, and never missed a beat, but...no. If there was anything wrong here - and to Demyx's mind, there was - it wasn't with the Dancers, but with the music. He wasn't making himself feel a bit better, that was for sure; all he was accomplishing was making it rain harder.

Eventually, he dispelled his sitar, stood up, and bowed to the dancers; the Dancers bowed back and disappeared. A wave of his hand, and the motionless water clone vanished as well. Not really paying attention to what he was doing or where he was going, he portaled back to his room, rationalizing it a moment later with the thought that he'd been out in the rain and needed a change of clothes. Gods damn it all, he could definitely hear Larxene's voice in Axel's room, and she sounded at least as tipsy as Axel...and trust this to be the first time she was actually being sort of friendly to any of them...oh, very friendly indeed; hopefully Axel wouldn't be too humiliated tomorrow morning...hopefully he had fun, even if he didn't remember it...hopefully Larxene wouldn't neuter him when she woke up...and Demyx couldn't find it in himself to put anything but malice and mean-spiritedness behind any of his artificial hopes.

_This really isn't like you..._

He ignored the little voice in his head and headed off to a bar.

* * *

AN: It can kind of suck somedays, being the only one in the group who doesn't particularly like going to the bar with everyone else. However, going to the bar by yourself is not the answer.

And Demyx names his Dancers after sea nymphs. It seemed appropriate.


	104. In which Axel talks to a wall

"Ax, 'm so sorry..."

"Save it," Axel grunted uncharitably, not even bothering to look at the bed behind him. He was aware that he should have been much nicer - Demyx must have been battling an absolutely vicious hangover, and he was at least trying to be every bit as polite as always - but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd been having enough of a day already. Waking up in bed with Larxene normally would have been the defining moment of the day - he was hesitant to call it a high point, even though he remembered most of the circumstances that led up to it, because he was still afraid she'd neuter him next time she saw him - but having Demyx suddenly go missing...being hauled off on a spontaneous castle-wide manhunt...

Demyx had looked so innocent and childlike, when Axel had found him curled up in one corner of the Hall of Empty Melodies. Well, except for the beer bottle. And the fact that he smelled like a bar.

He could hear Demyx groan miserably. "It's your own fault," he growled - well, it was. Demyx had chosen not to go to the bar with the rest of them; he must have chosen to go later by himself with the specific intention of getting hammered.

"I know," Demyx said softly. Thankfully, he did not add "I'm sorry."

"So, how are you feeling?" Axel asked in an unkind tone. Demyx moaned and retched, making Axel wince - hopefully anything that had come out had made it into the trash can. "That bad, huh?" he asked with less malice.

"Uh huh. Pretty bad." Demyx retched again, and Axel could definitely hear something hitting the bottom of the trash can. "Ugh..."

Axel couldn't keep up his unsympathetic act anymore. He swiveled around in Demyx's desk chair and looked at him. "You know...you should have expected this," he said in a kinder tone than he'd been using so far.

Demyx nodded miserably, set the trash can down, and buried himself under the covers again. "Yeah...I know..."

"It was really frustrating to have you just disappear overnight, and then tear the castle apart only to find you drunk off your ass in a corner."

"'M sorry."

"Demyx, why did you do that?"

"...Dunno."

"I call bullshit."

"Huh?"

"I think you know damn well why you did it. Why?"

"Don't remember."

"Demyx..."

"I was drunk."

"That's true...gotta give you that..." Axel sighed heavily. "I want to know what motivated you to go out drinking. You don't spontaneously decide to go out and get wasted off your ass just for shits and giggles. That's just not like you."

Demyx sniffled a bit, then grabbed the trash can and vomited again. "I told you, I don't remember..." he croaked when he looked up.

Axel sighed and moved over to sit on the bed next to him, rubbing his back gently - he wished he could remember himself, but no dice. The best he could remember was Demyx yelling at him for some reason he didn't really understand at the time and understood even less now. "Well, maybe next time you get this compulsive urge to go out and get hammered, you'll know better...by the way, what were we arguing about last night?"

Demyx buried his head under the covers again. "Don't remember that either. Now I wanna go back to sleep."

"Are you sure you -"

"Yes. Can I sleep now?"

"Demyx..." No response. Axel stood up heavily and walked back to his own room, feeling like he'd just lost an important battle.


	105. Featuring a noheart to noheart

"So, how are you feeling?"

Axel was really a much better friend than Demyx had been giving him credit for recently. And he already knew that. Hell, he knew he already knew that. Except he was in no mood to admit any wrongdoing just then. He wasn't even in any mood to look up. "Still shitty."

"Too bad," Axel murmured sympathetically, then sat down on the bed and gently stroked Demyx's hair. "Just keep hanging in there, I guess..."

"What other choice do I have?" Demyx said irritably, finally lifting his head off the pillow.

Axel shrugged. "Well, you could die, I guess."

"No thanks. I'm not that sick."

"Good," Axel said softly, resting a hand on Demyx's shoulder. "If you died, I'd really miss you."

"Mmph," was all Demyx said, and all he could think of to say. He was uncomfortably aware that he'd been treating Axel with surprising coolness recently, through no real fault of Axel's. He was also just plain uncomfortable, even in his own bed; he felt sick and shaky and ached all over.

Fortunately, Axel rarely stayed silent for long. "Is there anything I can get you?" Demyx would have asked him to turn the stereo on, but when he tried to take a breath and say something, the air caught in his throat, and he spent the next several moments coughing explosively. Axel frowned sympathetically and started rubbing his back. "Does that mean you want some cough drops?"

"Whatever...why not..." Demyx croaked.

"All right..." Axel disappeared for a little while, then came back with not only a bag of cough drops but a cup of tea. "Here - think this might make you feel better?"

"Muh..." Demyx stretched out one arm and seized the bag of cough drops while Axel set the tea down on his bedside table. "Maybe." He opened the bag of cough drops, stared into it, and decided the tea was more like what he really wanted. Handing the cough drops back to Axel, he picked up the tea instead and spent several minutes sipping it carefully - as he should have expected, it was _hot_. "'M sorry," he said eventually.

Axel just blinked at him in confusion. "Okay...is there something in particular you're sorry for, or are you just apologizing at random because you like to apologize?"

Demyx sighed. "I've been treating you like shit for a while, and for no good reason. That's what I'm sorry for."

Axel continued to stare blankly at him, then sighed and sat down on the bed next to him. "You've just been having a hell of a time lately, haven't you?"

Demyx blinked. "What do you mean?"

Axel stroked his hair gently. "You've been acting kind of...off, I guess, since you escaped from the mental hospital. Not like you should go back there or anything - more like you've had something gnawing at the back of your mind ever since, or like you're not quite as comfortable here as you used to be. I'm not even gonna guess why, or even say for sure that that's what's up, but...that's just what it seems like to me. The last time you've been, well, really, truly normal, or at least seemed that way, was when you were making that keema naan."

Demyx stared blankly into his teacup for several moments. "...You're right," he said finally. "I...don't understand either."

Axel smiled faintly and hugged him. "Well, just remind yourself that this is home and there are people here who think you matter, no matter what the stupid voices in the back of your mind might say. And that while you might act a little odd sometimes, I like you better with all your personal quirks and oddities than I would if you were an absolutely 'perfect' and 'normal' automaton. Even the stuff that's not entirely good, like your utter lack of self-esteem and tendency to apologize for anything and everything - if it weren't for that, you wouldn't be you. You're not crazy, and you don't need to change, got it memorized?"

Demyx sighed. "I...I dunno what to say to that, Ax. Truly."

Axel smiled crookedly. "You know, it's been a long time since I last heard you play anything. I dunno how long it's actually been since you played anything, but I haven't caught you at it in ages."

After a few moments, Demyx returned the crooked smile as he drank the last of his tea - it hadn't been that long since he last played, but it had been quite a while since he'd last played for an audience, or played anything he actually liked. "Well...you're not gonna hear it right now; I'm too tired...but could you turn the stereo on?"


	106. Which involves a prank

"I'll see that and raise you double..."

Axel stared at the cards in his hand and shook his head. "I'll fold." Xaldin, who'd already folded, just looked at Luxord, who called. Normally, Luxord won more hands than the other three put together, but this time, Xigbar came up with a flush to his three of a kind and took the pot. That suited Axel just fine; compared to Luxord, they were all underdogs.

"Hey, if any of you slackers can be bothered to care, I got the drain in Larxene's shower fixed..."

Xigbar tilted his head upside-down over the back of his chair to look at Demyx. "Good, dude. Tell her yet?"

Demyx shook his head. "Haven't seen her since breakfast."

Axel tapped his fingers against the table as Luxord shuffled the deck. "Hey, Demyx...get us each a beer." Demyx leaned on the doorframe and glared at him. "...Please? I'll give you five munny..."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "Per beer."

"For my beer. These suckers are gonna have to pay for their own."

Everyone else at the table glared at him, with minimal genuine malice. "Oh, thank you so much for your generosity..."

"Ah, forget it," Demyx said, waving a hand. "I'll get your stupid beers." He left, and the poker game continued; as usual, Axel got dealt a lousy hand and couldn't come up with more than a single pair. It took Demyx a remarkably long time to go to the kitchen, get four beers, and come back; Luxord had won another three hands by the time he returned with the bottles. "Sorry that took so long...hey, cash first, beer second, Ax..."

Axel grumbled to himself, noting that he was the only one who had to pay to get his beer, and took the munny straight out of the pot. "Little mercenary...don't look at me like that; this is paying for your beer too..." He cranked the top off, took a swig, and promptly spat it back out in surprise and disgust. Xigbar and Luxord had had the exact same reaction to their first taste; Xaldin, whose beer apparently had nothing wrong with it, was staring at them all like he thought they were nuts. "What the hell is this shit?!"

Demyx shrugged, an innocent expression on his face. "It's just beer..." Some of that innocence faded. "Mostly."

"Mostly? What the hell else is in it?"

Demyx blushed, clasping his hands together like a shy schoolboy. "Chili extract and vinegar."

Xigbar was coughing and shaking his head in disgust. "Dude, that was a nasty trick, okay? Nasty!"

Luxord carefully held his beer out at arm's length like it was a poisonous snake and set it down on a different table. "Dare I ask why you went with the targeted approach, or was it sheer luck that only three out of four are undrinkable?"

Demyx went over and rested his hands on Axel's shoulders, grinning at Luxord from over his head. "Xaldin didn't kidnap me, Mr. Genius Man."

At first, Axel thought Xaldin was choking on his beer or something, but a few seconds later, he realized the Whirlwind Lancer was actually laughing at them. "I no longer have any sympathy for any of you...hey, if you want a beer that doesn't have anything else in it, go get your own. You know where the kitchen is."

Xigbar gave him a hangdog look. "Some friend you are..."

Xaldin shrugged. "At least I'm not a kidnapper."

Demyx smirked cheekily. "He's got you there."

Xigbar shook his head. "All right, next time we have an upcoming mission to the Underworld..."

His beer suddenly rose out of the bottle and smacked him in the face.


	107. Which is bloody horrifying

"Demyx - Demyx! Wake up! Are you all right? What happened?"

The first thing Demyx thought when he was jerked awake was _The zombies are coming to get me!_ Instinctively, he lashed out, catching Axel across the jaw. "Get away from me! Get away!"

Axel staggered back, staring at him in horror. "Demyx...? What the hell...?"

Demyx blinked and actually looked at where he was - the bathroom floor, between his and Axel's rooms, at the Castle that Never Was. The toilet, the floor, and - ew - his face were all crusted with dried vomit, and his stomach was killing him; he must have been hideously sick before collapsing. "Sorry," he murmured vaguely, still not completely reoriented. Then the memory of where he'd been and what he'd been doing came back to him, and he started shaking violently.

Axel sat down next to him, on a clean part of the floor. "What happened? Are you okay? Do you want me to go get Vexen?"

Demyx shook his head weakly. "N-no. I'll be - I'll be f-fine..."

"What happened? I thought you were gone on a long mission...are you sick?"

Demyx shuddered. "The mission...it...there were..."

Axel stroked his hair gently. "All right, never mind. Why don't you get cleaned up a little, give yourself a little time to calm down, and try again?"

"Zombies!"

Axel just stared at him. "...Okay...what about zombies?"

"The mission...the world..." Demyx choked, nearly sobbing. "It was...it was...it was coming apart at the seams...there were zombies...I _saw_ people...climbing out of their graves...coming after the living...coming after me..." He gagged violently, but there was nothing left in his stomach. "I saw them...saw them kill a little girl...they started eating her alive...while...while she was still screaming..." He gagged again, and still nothing came up but a nasty bitter taste. "They cornered a whole family...tore them all to bits...I...I tried to do something...stop them, chase them off, something, but...it was too late...too late..."

Axel's eyes were as big around as dinner plates. "Good. God."

Demyx shook his head. "Not in that world..." He gagged again - blessed Gods, how would he ever be able to eat again, with those horrible images floating around in his brain - and eventually a bitter trickle of fluid spilled out and ran down his chin. Axel picked up a washcloth and wiped it off. "Thanks..."

Images and sounds flashed through his mind - people trying to talk to those zombies whose faces were still recognizable, who they recognized, pleading with them not to kill them, right up until the moment the zombies tore their throats or their guts out - a little baby, torn limb from limb and eaten almost down to bare bones, next to the dismembered body of its mother, while the zombie that had been its father shambled off in search of another target - a police officer, standing his ground and shooting bravely at the zombies, until one stumbled up to him, heedless of the bullets, and tore his gun hand off at the wrist - a zombie reaching for _him_, clawing at his face, blood and rotting flesh dripping from its hand -

"Demyx! _Demyx!_"

Demyx blinked, and found himself sitting on the bathroom floor, curled up in a ball with his hands over his ears, sobbing and screaming with terror. Axel stared at him with a look of horror. "Demyx, you're here, not there, remember?"

"Yes," Demyx said in a thin, croaking whisper.

Axel sighed, held the washcloth under the bathtub faucet for a few seconds, and started washing the dried vomit off his face, murmuring words of comfort in his ear. "You're all right. You're safe. You're home. They can't get you. I'm here. I'll look out for you. You'll be all right. Everything will be okay..."

* * *

AN: Wow. Okay. No more Resident Evil for Xanrivash. This might have long-term consequences...


	108. Which introduces a new character

"Come on, Demyx...just drink this..." Axel supported Demyx in a sitting position and held the glass up to his lips. At least Demyx was willing to drink his juice without fighting or trying to spit it out - he was still oriented and aware enough to realize he needed some sort of fuel, even if he couldn't hold down solid food. The juice contained more than just calories and nutrients; it was also laced with a tranquilizer. Drugs were the only way Demyx could sleep anymore, without waking up screaming so often he never got any actual rest.

Once the glass was empty, Demyx latched on to Axel's arm and pulled him closer. "Don't leave me alone," he whispered, terror audible in his voice.

"I won't," Axel whispered back, hugging Demyx gently and sitting down on the bed next to him. There was no knowing whether he could see the world around him, or whether all he saw was a world where the sun had gone out and the dead roamed free. At least he still seemed to recognize all the other Organization members, and didn't think they were hungry zombies or anything. "You'll be all right. You're safe," he murmured, hoping his words were getting through. Soon enough, Demyx's eyelids drooped, then closed, as the tranquilizer took effect; for a few precious hours, he'd be free from the nightmare world he'd been trapped in for a week. Careful not to rouse him at all, Axel quietly slid away from him, letting him rest in private while he went for a walk outside.

It was raining, as usual, which only worsened Axel's mood and made him feel even more depressed. It - just wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Demyx didn't deserve this - he didn't deserve to go through the initial Hell, of waking up to find the world he'd been sent to had turned literally overnight from a fairly pleasant, modern-type world to a zombie-infested hellhole, and he deserved even less to be tortured by the memories of the horrors he'd seen long after he'd come safely home. He was trapped by his memories - he was constantly terrified, barely spoke, often said things that made no sense when he did speak, couldn't carry on a conversation, couldn't sleep without drugs, couldn't handle even the blandest of solid food, never seemed to really know what was going on around him...he didn't even pay attention to the music when Axel turned his stereo on. Sometimes, he got so lost in the horrors he'd been through he just curled up and started screaming for no visible reason.

The zombies hadn't killed him, so his memories were eating him alive. It wasn't fair.

It had been sort of satisfying to watch the spectacle at breakfast that morning, though, when Marluxia had made some snide comment about Demyx not having the nerve to watch a kiddie horror movie all the way through. Xigbar, who'd been beating himself up over having sent Demyx to that world in the first place, had very loudly invited Marluxia to go back there and finish the mission Demyx had been sent on in the first place. Suffice to say, Marluxia hadn't gone anywhere, or said anything else.

Why did Demyx have to suffer like this...

Axel suddenly heard, or thought he heard, a soft gasp behind him. He looked back and saw something pale that didn't look like a Dusk disappearing behind a building. "Who's there? Who are you?" he called, thoroughly confused and wondering if, just maybe, he was starting to lose his mind too.

Whoever he'd just seen peered hesitantly from behind the building, after a delay of several moments. Much to Axel's surprise, the intruder was a pale blonde girl with huge blue eyes, woefully underclothed in a thin dress and sandals. "Hello?" she said hesitantly.

Axel scratched his head, wondering if he could actually be seeing what he thought he was seeing. "Uh, hi...who are you, where are you from, and how did you get here? No offense, but...I like to think I know everyone who belongs in this world."

The girl looked confused and more than a little frightened, not to mention cold. "I...I don't remember. I just found myself in this city. I don't know how I got here, or where I'm from."

"Right. Okay." Axel looked up at Kingdom Hearts, as if seeking inspiration, or at least a clue. "Do you at least know your own name?" The girl shook her head. "Okay..." Axel sighed. "Well...I guess you'd better come with me, then."

* * *

AN: Howdy. Guess who.


	109. In which Namine gets her name

Despite rumors to the contrary, Demyx did know what was going on in the castle. He knew about the strange girl Axel had found in the street, that had no good reason to be there -

_- like the dead had no reason to rise - like the sun had no reason not to -_

How she had no memory of who she was or where she was from -

_- like the zombies had no memory of who they'd been or who they'd loved, only that the living must die -_

She was in her early teens, they guessed; small and blonde with large blue eyes -

_- like that girl who'd stood by screaming while her older sister tried to fight off the zombies and was torn limb from limb in front of her -_

And while she didn't have a corresponding Proof of Existence, she had to be a Greater Nobody, because she had a mind and soul and everything, but no heart -

_- like that old man confronted by the zombie who had been his wife, who'd begged her to go away and rest in peace right up until she tore his still-beating heart out -_

Demyx did know about the strange new girl. He just wasn't thinking very hard about her.

"Demyx? You in here?"

Demyx opened the door very slowly and carefully - he was always a little afraid of what he might see on the other side, but waiting for someone else to open it was even more terrifying. "Hey, Ax...that the new girl?"

Axel raised an eyebrow, as if he was surprised that Demyx knew about her. "Yeah...I told her about you, and she wanted to meet you..."

The girl looked at him with obvious wariness. "Hi...you must be Demyx..."

Demyx nodded absently. He'd just been forcefully reminded of the pretty little girl in the blue polka-dot dress, four or five and nowhere near this shy, who'd accosted him near a bus stop around sunset...none of them knew it, but that was the last time the sun would set on that world, because it would never rise again...

_"Naminé! Naminé, get back here! If we miss the bus, we're gonna be late for Aunt Vicky's party!"_

And the next day, by no light other than a sickly green moon and unnaturally orange streetlights, he'd seen that blue polka-dot dress again, except it was mostly black with blood, and there was nothing but a headless, limbless torso inside...amid all the carnage, he might never have noticed, if not for that distinctive dress and that unusual name...he'd thought it was so pretty...

"Naminé..." he whispered unthinkingly.

The girl blinked at him in bewilderment. "Do...do you know me? Is that my name?"

Demyx shook his head distantly. "No...no, I don't...but...it can be. It's a...it's a pretty name..." And maybe, just maybe, if this strange girl decided to keep it, it would be like some fragment of the original Naminé was still alive, and hadn't been destroyed...even if Demyx didn't know anything about her but her name, he didn't want everything about the poor little girl to go away...

The girl nodded slowly. "I...I like that name. Naminé."

"Keep it," Demyx murmured. He wanted her to keep it, and keep it for years, and not have it ripped away from her by cold, rotting claws...even if it wasn't a standard Organization name, with an X and everything...it suited her, like it had suited that little girl in the blue polka-dot dress...

Axel cleared his throat and smiled awkwardly. "All right...I think they're gonna put you in one of the spare suites by yourself for now, until they figure out something better...we better go check it out..." Demyx nodded wordlessly and retreated back into his room, curling up on the bed and clinging to a bloodstained scrap of blue polka-dot fabric.

* * *

AN: Published early because I felt like it. This is going to be fairly long, as mini-stories go - at least six chapters, maybe seven.


	110. In which Axel has a weird experience

Axel shook his head as he closed Demyx's door. "Sorry," he murmured. "He's been through a...a terrible experience lately, and he hasn't exactly been in his right mind ever since."

The newly-christened Naminé nodded. "I know; you did warn me..." She sighed. "He's suffering terribly."

"I know," was all Axel said. It was obvious to anyone who looked at him, and saw the endless fear in his eyes...and for the person who had to give him his drugged drinks, and stay by his side while he drank them, and wait until he fell asleep, because otherwise he'd never get enough sleep to count... "It hurts to see him like that."

"Poor Demyx," Naminé said softly. "And that little girl in the blue polka-dot dress..."

Axel suddenly stopped in his tracks. "...What little girl in the blue polka-dot dress?" he asked warily.

"The one he'd been thinking about," Naminé said, as if the ability to read minds was perfectly commonplace - reading minds was really the only way Axel could think of for her to know about that, when Demyx hadn't even mentioned it to him. That, or she was making shit up. She didn't seem the type to make shit like that up.

"How do you...how do you know what he was thinking about?" he asked hesitantly. For all he knew, she and Demyx were both telepaths, though he thought he'd have probably found out by now if Demyx was.

"When he talked to me, I could sort of see her...she was talking to him at a bus stop...she was only five or so...and..." Naminé swallowed hard, obviously distressed.

Axel sighed and went back to leading her to her rooms. "Well, if I'd known you could read minds, I'd have held off the visit until his was less of a mess...I wish you could have shown up two weeks ago, before this sh...crap happened..." Naminé nodded distantly, and silence reigned until they reached her assigned rooms. "Well, here we are...and here you are until they figure out what to do with you...kinda bland, I admit, but you'll be allowed to decorate..."

Naminé nodded and started looking around, sitting on the bed, looking in the empty closet, and checking the desk drawers. When she found a stack of blank paper in one drawer, it seemed to catch her interest. "...Um...do you have anything I could draw with?"

Axel quickly checked his pockets. "Not on me...I could go back up to my room and get you a pen or something..."

"I'd rather have a pencil, if you could," Naminé said shyly. "I'd like something I can erase."

Axel shrugged. "All right, I can do that..." He ran back to his own room, swallowing hard when he heard Demyx crying softly in his own room, and dug a pencil out of his desk drawer. "Here you go," he said, handing it to Naminé.

"Thanks..." She immediately started drawing industriously, apparently not even caring that Axel was leaning over her shoulder and watching her. The picture was a bit childish, but recognizable...some sort of street scene after dark...maybe it was some clue to who she was and where she was from? Axel bent down for a closer look...no, it couldn't have been a clue to her past; that kneeling figure in the middle was recognizably Demyx...what was he bending over? Some sort of spotted dog, or...no, it looked like a...like a polka-dot dress...on a mannequin or something, because no one was wearing it but it wasn't empty...and Axel suddenly clapped his hands over his mouth as he realized what was in that dress.

_Good God. Is that what she saw in Demyx's mind? Is that what became of the girl in the polka-dot dress?_ Axel couldn't work up the nerve to ask, even as Naminé put the finishing touches on the picture and examined it.

Then, with no explanation, she methodically erased the entire picture while he watched.


	111. Which is really surreal

Demyx felt like he was just waking up from a horrible nightmare with no memory at all of what he'd been dreaming about. The best he had was a dim impression of being incredibly terrified by...something. He just didn't remember what or why.

Considering how terrified he vaguely recalled being, that was probably just as well.

He stared in confusion at the bloody scrap of blue polka-dot fabric in his hand, wondering where it had come from and why he'd be carrying around something so nasty. Shaking his head, he dropped it into the garbage can, then suddenly realized how hungry he was. He glanced up at the clock, decided it was close enough to dinnertime that it wasn't worth going down to the kitchen for a snack - and just then, someone knocked on his door. He stood up and opened it, and found Axel standing there with a glass of what looked like orange juice. "Ax? What's up? What's with the juice?"

The glass fell to the floor and shattered. Axel stared at him for a very long time, wide-eyed and openmouthed. "Demyx...? Are...are you all right...?"

Demyx had not the faintest idea what the hell he was talking about. "Well, yeah...why wouldn't I be?"

Anything else he might have tried to say was cut off as Axel grabbed him and hugged him tightly. "Thank God! I was so worried!"

Demyx stumbled backwards in surprise. "What the - worried about what? Why?"

"You! You've been so wrapped up in that...that nightmare - for days...I thought -"

"What are you talking about?"

Axel stared at him. "...What? How could you not know?"

Demyx shook his head in confusion. "I - I don't know - I just -" He shrugged helplessly. "Sorry. I'm a little disoriented. I think I just woke up from a nightmare or something, but I have no memory at all of what I was having a nightmare about."

"Nightmare? Demyx, this was real! A real nightmare, sure, but - it actually happened! And you just _forgot_ it?!"

"..." There wasn't much left for Demyx to say except "Axel, what the hell are you talking about?"

Axel clutched his forehead and reeled, as if Demyx's ignorance was shocking enough to make him faint. "The zombies, you idiot! They've had you driven to absolute distraction for days!"

"...Let me repeat the question. Axel, what the hell are you talking about?"

Axel squeezed his eyes shut and raised his clenched fists over his head, like Demyx was now driving him to absolute distraction. Then he took a few deep breaths, lowered and unclenched his fists, and opened his eyes. "Demyx," he said with enforced calm, "what do you remember about your last mission?"

Demyx scratched his head. "It was a pretty nice, average, modern-ish world...nothing spectacular, but nothing horrible either..." A thought suddenly struck him. "...I...I think I was supposed to be there for five days...but I only remember being there for about a day and a half...and I don't remember either choosing to go home early or being dragged home early..."

Axel nodded very slowly. "Do you remember much about the past week?" he asked as if he already expected the answer to be "No".

Demyx racked his brain, immensely disturbed to find he remembered very little - it was as if he'd spent the entire past week three-quarters asleep. "Well...uh...I remember you found this strange girl in the city...she was a Nobody, but she didn't have a Proof of Existence...and she didn't know a thing about herself..."

Axel nodded again. "Do you know what her name is?" he asked in a low voice.

Demyx shook his head, unable to pin down that nagging sensation in the back of his head. "No...let me guess, it has an X somewhere in it, right?"

Axel sighed. "Naminé," he said softly. "Her name is apparently going to be Naminé."

Demyx just stared. A name like that went solidly against Organization naming conventions, as far as he knew, though maybe the rules were different for newcomers who didn't know their own names. It was a pretty name, but - "Who gave her a name like that?"

"You did."

"...What?"

Axel sighed and flopped into Demyx's desk chair. Demyx, who was beyond confused and well on his way to not knowing for certain whether he could really tell red from blue or not, sat down on his bed. "All right," Axel began. "First of all, I'm not bullshitting you in the slightest. I'm not even gonna stretch the facts a tiny bit. Everything I'm about to tell you is the absolute truth so far as I know it." He took a deep breath. "You were gone on that last mission for about three days. Sometime during the night between the second and third day, the world started coming to an end. I don't know all the specifics, because I wasn't there myself, but the two biggies are that the sun went out, and the dead started climbing out of their graves to kill and eat the living. You managed to escape unharmed, but while you were still there, you saw...you saw a lot of really horrible stuff - I mean, the little bit you told me was enough to give me nightmares...it pretty well cost you your sanity. You were shattered. You couldn't eat, you couldn't sleep, you barely talked, when you did talk you made sense only half the time..." He shook his head. "If by some miracle you've forgotten all that, consider yourself lucky."

Demyx wasn't sure Axel wasn't bullshitting him. "How could I just forget something like that?"

Axel sighed. "I don't know, but however it was, I'm grateful."


	112. In which Axel puts two and two together

"Look, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can't come up with any better explanation!" Axel protested vehemently. "I stood there for an hour and a half and watched her draw all these zombie horror scenes featuring Demyx and erasing them all one by one! And when I got sick of that and went to give Demyx some juice - all of a sudden, he was just fine! He had no idea what he'd been through! He didn't remember a fucking thing! There's gotta be a connection!"

Xigbar held up a hand. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cool your jets, dude. I'm not accusing you of making shit up. I think you might even be onto something." Axel blinked, then sagged, the wind disappearing from his sails. "It's just that we didn't think the little lady had any powers - after all, no Proof. And being able to erase people's memories - dude, that's big. Nothing but a blessing, in this case, but still."

Axel half-smiled weakly. "Heh. Here, I was sure you'd be convinced I'd either lost my mind or was pulling this stuff out of my ass."

Xigbar shook his head. "Story like that is too crazy to just come up with on your own. I think we'd better take a much closer look at...what did you call her?"

"Naminé. Demyx came up with the name - something else he doesn't remember."

Xigbar nodded. "All right. Naminé. If she can really do what you say she did..." He sighed. "Thanks for the heads-up, dude."

"Anytime," Axel said weakly. He was having enough trouble wrapping his head around the idea himself. Still shaking his head in bewilderment, he walked down to Demyx's room, instead of making a portal. "Demyx...you still good?"

"Yeah...why wouldn't I be?" Demyx asked, a little impatiently.

"All the reasons I've already told you..." Axel sat down in his desk chair and sighed. "You know what? I don't wanna go down to dinner with everyone else. Let's go to Twilight Town and grab something from a stand and catch a dumb, funny movie."

Demyx nodded, his expression blank. "All right...is there any particular reason..."

"Yeah. The whole past week just seems so...unreal, now that you don't remember some really key parts of it...I want the two of us to go out and do something real. Something concrete. Something I can be sure really happened."

Demyx thought, then nodded slowly. "Yeah...just imagine how I feel...there's just a big blank in my memory where last week should be - well, not a total blank; I still remember some things, but the key parts are all gone. I guess that's good, but..."

Axel nodded. "Yes. I know it probably seems awfully weird from your end, but...it was the best thing that could have happened. Trust me. But enough about that - which would you rather see, Iron Man or Sex Drive?"

Demyx made a face. "Ugh, Sex Drive is just too stupid. Let's go see Iron Man."

Axel laughed aloud, thrilled that things could go back to normal. "All right. Iron Man it is."


	113. In which Demyx finds a therapist

" - and I know on some really obscure level that all this stuff actually happened, somehow - I just don't remember a damn thing. It's like...like I sort of remember seeing it in a move years and years ago, or like a dream I had last week. Like...like I can't really say for sure whether it was ever real or not, but I'm mostly leaning towards 'not', except the entire rest of the Organization is saying 'real'. So I'm all confused. Is any of this making sense to you?"

Lexaeus nodded, a faint half-smile tugging at his craggy face. "To some degree."

"That's a relief. I don't think Axel even pays any attention when I try to talk to him about this." Demyx stretched out on the bench under the bright artificial lights - since there was no sun in the World that Never Was, that was the only way for Lexaeus's garden to grow. "He means well; he just doesn't really have the attention span to make a good listener. You do." Hard to believe he'd been almost as afraid of Lexaeus as of Saix when he'd first joined. He'd assumed the giant was a brute at best and actively cruel at worst. Suffice to say, he knew better now. "So...what next? Are you going to remind me that all of it really did happen, I just don't remember any of it anymore, and I should just accept that and move on?"

Lexaeus shook his head. "You've heard that often enough."

"Can't argue with that..." Demyx gently ran a hand over the thick moss on the stone next to the bench - Marluxia would have thrown an unholy fit if anyone had made the slightest move towards one of his precious plants, even the moss. Demyx liked Lexaeus's garden better anyway - it was so much less crowded and busy, and more like what he'd do if he ever managed to get a little garden space of his own. Except he'd make sure to include a pond. "All right - are you going to remind me that it's a blessing that I can't remember this shit anymore?"

Lexaeus shook his head again. "True, but you've heard enough of that as well."

"Thanks. I have to admit I was getting a little sick of it." Demyx reached up and toyed idly with the lacy leaf of a small maple tree, deciding he really ought to buy himself a bonsai the next chance he got. "Are you...going to talk about the new girl and what amazing powers she has, and how useful or potentially dangerous she could be?"

Lexaeus shook his head more forcefully. "No. I feel rather sorry for her."

Demyx sat up a little bit. "Sorry for her? Why? It's not like they're not gonna take good care of her - they've moved her into her own special rooms and everything, she's not gonna be part of the regular Organization, she's never gonna have to deal with hazardous duty or even the boring old Heartless-hunting grind..."

Lexaeus frowned. "That's exactly it. They'll protect her too well. A princess locked in an ivory tower may be given the best of everything she _is_ given, but she will miss so very much..."

Demyx sat up a little more. "Huh? How do you mean?"

Lexaeus gave him a penetrating look. "The day she arrived, what did you and Eight do that evening?"

Demyx blinked, more than a little surprised by that question. "We picked up chicken sandwiches at a fast-food joint in Twilight Town, went to see a movie, hung out for a while...nothing really extraordinary."

Lexaeus sighed. "If Naminé is ever allowed to leave the castle, she will be heavily supervised at all times. She will most likely never have the chance to eat fast food or see a movie in a theater, and simply 'hanging out' will be out of the question."

Demyx's jaw dropped as the implications of that worked their way through his brain. "Oh - that - that's - that's really sad. She'll have even less of a chance to be normal than the rest of us."

Lexaeus nodded regretfully, then looked up at the sky, barely visible through the glare of the lights. "Until Kingdom Hearts is complete, and her heart is restored with all of ours."

Demyx thought about that for a few moments, then decided it made him feel better. Even if she was going to be kept separate from the rest of them, she was a Nobody, just like the rest of them, and everything would go back to normality for all of them once they got their hearts back...He sighed and settled back on the bench. "So, now that all my guesses have been blown out of the water, what were you going to say?"

"I was going to suggest you not fall asleep on that bench. The hard stone would do your back no favors."

* * *

AN: Aspentially for 2Foxxie4U.


	114. Which involves a shopping trip

"...A bonsai? Why in Kingdom Hearts' name do you want a bonsai?"

"I was inspired by a visit to Lexaeus's garden," Demyx said as he picked up an artificial tree no more than a foot high, with dark leaves and pink flowers. "Since the Superior isn't inclined to let me have a garden any more than he seems inclined to install a swimming pool, this may be the best I can do."

Axel scratched his head incredulously. "You want a garden?" He was also a little incredulous that Xemnas would let Marluxia have one but not Demyx, since Demyx was the higher-ranking of the two, but maybe Marluxia's garden was considered necessary to keep his powers at maximum, the same way the frequent rain was tolerated as a way for Demyx to exercise. By that logic, Axel should have been given an endless supply of trash cans to burn, but... "Why? For what?"

Demyx nodded. "For relaxation purposes. I like gardens." He carefully turned the bonsai over to check its price tag. "I'd especially like a water garden, even if I can't get a pond deep enough to swim in...but, oh well. I'll take what I can get."

Axel also took a peek at the price tag, and choked. "Good Lord! How can you justify sinking that much munny into a fancy-ass artificial plant?"

Demyx set the bonsai down and glared at Axel with his hands on his hips. "And that fancy-ass dagger you just bought, the one that was designed to look like the dragon that makes up the handle breathing fire that makes up the blade - that cost how much again?"

"About a third as much as that fake plant!"

"What about the one with the handle made to look like a scorpion's tail?"

"Uh -"

"Or the one with the split blade that had the snake goddess on it?"

"Uh -"

"Can you even sharpen the blade on that one? Or is it terminally blunt as a board?"

Axel growled under his breath, then reached into his shopping bag, pulled the snake-goddess knife in question out of its box, and playfully jabbed at Demyx with it. "Why don't we find out?"

Demyx flinched, then glared at him. "Put that away. Store security might not realize it's no sharper than your wit."

"If that bonsai catches fire suddenly, you were the last one the security cameras caught handling it." Axel put the knife away anyway. "All right. Buy your stupid plant. I guess I have nothing left to argue with."

Demyx grabbed him and gave him a noogie. "Thanks. Glad I have your permission."

Axel squawked loudly and squirmed out of Demyx's grip, then ran his fingers through his hair, trying to straighten it out. "Just for that, you get no Christmas present."

Demyx just stared at him. Axel realized suddenly that he'd said the wrong thing, again. "Axel, I don't want any Christmas presents anyway."

Axel sighed heavily. "Yes. I just remembered that as soon as I mentioned it. Sorry." He shook his head. "I just wish I..."

Demyx shook his head forcefully. "I am not going to go into it."

"I wasn't going to ask you about it," Axel lied. "I was about to wish I'd gone for that dagger with the black widow hilt too."

Demyx sighed as he carried his chosen bonsai over to the register. "You're hopeless."

* * *

AN: I've been feeling shitty for a few days now, and had to get something accomplished.


	115. In which Demyx puts on a performance

"Hey, Naminé..."

Demyx couldn't help but smile at the way her face lit up when she saw she had a visitor that wasn't there just to examine her or try to investigate her powers or anything. "Hi, Demyx! Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I'm feeling much better," Demyx said, setting his guitar case down. "In fact, I wanted to come say thank you in person, and give you something in return, even if it's not quite as...big, I guess."

Naminé smiled even more. "Are you going to play a song?" she asked eagerly. "I knew you were a musician, but..."

Demyx grinned and nodded. "Of course. I picked out a song that reminded me of you." They didn't seem to have given the poor girl any way to listen to music, though they certainly hadn't stinted her on art supplies...His smile growing a little crooked, he opened the guitar case, removed the instrument, and dug his picks out of his pocket. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Naminé said without a bit of hesitation.

Demyx chuckled slightly and strummed a few bars before starting to sing. "I'll tell me ma when I go home the boys won't leave the girls alone. They pull my hair and stole my comb, but that's all right 'till I go home. She is handsome, she is pretty, she's the belle of Dublin city; she is courtin' one-two-three; please, won't you tell me, who is she? Albert Mooney says he loves her, and all the boys are fightin' for her. They knock at the door and they ring at the bell, sayin' 'Oh, my true love, are you well?' Out she comes as white as snow, rings on her fingers and bells on her toes. Old Jenny Murphy says she'll die if she doesn't get the fella with the rovin' eye. She is handsome, she is pretty, she's the belle of Dublin city; she is courtin' one-two-three; please, won't you tell me, who is she?"

He'd have to thank Axel for letting him borrow his Young Dubliners CDs; Naminé was clearly delighted. But the song was supposed to pick up tempo as it went, and Demyx had to pay attention to his playing. "The wind and the rain and the hail go high; snow comes shovelin' from the sky. She is sweet as apple pie; she'll get her own lad by and by. When she gets a lad of her own, she won't tell her ma 'till she goes home; let them all come as they will, it's Albert Mooney she loves still. She is handsome, she is pretty, she's the belle of Dublin city; she is courtin' one-two-three, please, won't you tell me, who is she?"

A short bridge gave him enough time to catch his breath before the second run-through, but not much more than that, especially since he'd have to sing this one even faster. "I'll tell me ma when I go home the boys won't leave the girls alone. They pull my hair and stole my comb, but that's all right 'till I go home. She is handsome, she is pretty, she's the belle of Dublin city; she is courtin' one-two-three - please, won't you tell me, who is she? Albert Mooney says he loves her - all the boys are fightin' for her! They knock at the door and ring at the bell and say 'Oh, my true love, are you well?' Out she comes as white as snow, rings on her fingers and bells on her toes - old Jenny Murphy says she'll die if she doesn't get the fella with the rovin' eye! The wind and the rain and the hail go high; snow comes shovelin' from the sky. She's as sweet as apple pie; she'll get her own lad by and by. When she gets a lad of her own, she won't tell her ma 'till she goes home - let them all come as they will, it's Albert Mooney she loves still!"

He had about time enough for one breath - "I'll tell me ma when I go home the boys won't leave the girls alone! Pull my hair and stole my comb - that's all right 'till I go home! She is handsome, she is pretty, she's the belle of Dublin city! She is courtin' one-two-three - please, won't you tell me, who is she?" With that, he dropped his pick on the floor and sat back, panting a little.

Naminé clapped. "That was great! Did you write it?"

Demyx shook his head as he leaned over to retrieve the pick. "No...I dunno who wrote it. It's an old song. I just thought you'd like it."

"I did! Thank you!"

Demyx couldn't stop grinning - he couldn't resist an appreciative audience. "Any time."

* * *

AN: I get this scene in my head every time I hear "I'll Tell Me Ma" by the Young Dubliners. I've just been waiting for the right time to write it.


	116. Featuring Demyx under the sink

Fifteen seconds earlier, all Axel had wanted was to wash his face and hands after getting back from a rather dusty mission. Now he was having a great deal of difficulty wrapping his head around the reality of what he'd been confronted with on entering the bathroom - namely, the sight of his best friend curled up into a ball, keeping company with the pipes under the bathroom sink. "Demyx, what the hell are you doing down there?"

Demyx curled up into even more of a ball and scooted a little further under the sink. "Feeling sick."

Axel peered incredulously down at him. "...You're hiding under the bathroom sink because you feel sick?"

Demyx nodded, looking miserable. "Yeah. Cool down here, at least."

Axel sighed heavily, still unable to find the logic in that decision with a bloodhound and a metal detector. "Wouldn't it make more sense to, say, go see Vexen if you're not feeling well?"

Demyx looked more than a little embarrassed, though he seemed too pale to blush. "I went to see him an hour ago or so. I puked on him. By accident, not on purpose."

Disgust at the thought battled with amusement at Vexen's predicament, and lost. "Oh...I guess he wouldn't be too thrilled with you, in that case," Axel choked, trying not to giggle. "But I'm still not all that clear why you're under the sink instead of lying in bed or something."

"Toilet's handier in here."

"Use your trash can. I'm sure you'd be more comfortable in bed."

"Yeah, but the trash can would start to stink after a while. The toilet you can flush every time."

Axel shrugged. What Demyx said was nothing less than true, but still...hiding under the sink? "All right...as long as you're going to be staying there, want me to get you a blanket or something so you're more comfortable?"

Demyx shook his head. "No thanks. I feel too warm already. I'm down here because it's cool, after all."

"Oh...guess that makes sense...um..." Axel scratched his head. "Want a cool drink of something? Think soda might help settle your stomach a little?"

Demyx took a few deep breaths before answering. "Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna heave in a second."

"...Oh -" Axel quickly ducked out of the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and tried not to listen to what was going on in there for a minute. When he heard the toilet flush, he waited a few seconds, then opened the door again. "You all right?"

Demyx had emerged from beneath the sink; he was now on his feet and leaning against the wall, holding his stomach and looking the picture of nauseated misery. "Well, no worse than I was when we started this conversation. Guess that's good."

Axel shook his head. "Look. Demyx. Just - just lie down somewhere. Like, now. Preferably somewhere that's not hard and uncomfortable. Hell, take a nice cool bath, if you feel too warm and you wanna stay in the bathroom."

Demyx shook his head regretfully. "Don't want to. If I did, you wouldn't be able to come in."

"...And the same logic didn't apply to you hiding under the sink?"

Demyx shrugged. "Under the sink, I could move easier."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Some days, Demyx, I would love to understand how your mind works...it seems like a really interesting place...take a cool bath, and leave the shower curtain closed. How does that sound?" Demyx nodded distantly, and took one step in Axel's direction - and suddenly he fell forward, catching himself on Axel. "Hey!"

Demyx looked thoroughly embarrassed, and Axel was just now noticing he was soaked to the bone. "Sorry, Ax...just slipped..."

Axel looked down - there was water all over the bathroom floor. "...Did the pipes spring a leak, or did you?"

Demyx grimaced. "I...guess that was me."

Axel sighed. "Okay then...I still think you should get into the bathtub, but you might not need to actually run a bath. Just plug the drain and lie still for a while."

* * *

AN: This started with the mental image of Demyx under the sink. Then I asked Demyx-muse what he was doing down there.


	117. Which hurts

Demyx had been on the verge of going to sleep over his book, but he was immediately jerked to full alertness when he finally heard someone moving around in Axel's room. "About time you got back," he said, setting his book down and heading for Axel's room. "I was starting to worry about you."

The strange burning light in Axel's eyes made him draw back a little. "What'a fuck're you doin' in here?" Axel slurred, his breath reeking of whiskey.

Demyx swallowed hard - he'd guessed wrong; Axel hadn't been held up on his mission, he'd been out drinking. "S-sorry," he stammered. "I j-just wanted to make sure you were okay..."

"Pish off," Axel snarled. "I'owanna put up wi' any more shit t'night. Had enough shit already."

Demyx backed off even further. "I'm sorry, Ax...I didn't know you -"

_Wham!_ Axel's fist suddenly slammed into his gut, leaving him doubled over and gasping for breath. "Get'a fuck outta here, y'little shit!" he screamed. When Demyx wasn't fast enough to obey, Axel shoved him to the ground and gave him a solid boot in the ribs. "I shaid _get!_"

"I'm getting...I'm getting..." Demyx whimpered. He staggered to his feet, and Axel shoved him through the bathroom door, sending him sprawling again - but he was sprawling on the bathroom floor, out of Axel's room, which was apparently what counted for Axel. The door slammed behind him instantly.

Demyx didn't move for a long time. He lay on the bathroom floor, sobbing quietly and hoping Axel didn't open the door again and decide he needed more of a beating. Eventually, he forced himself to crawl back to his own room and into bed, where he lay sobbing loudly, wishing everything would stop hurting, wishing Axel would stop drinking, wishing he didn't have to be afraid or hurt or lying alone and crying...

"Shut 'a fuck up, y'bashard!" Axel roared - thank Kingdom Hearts, he was still on the other side of the bathroom door. Demyx gulped and shut up immediately. Some unknown amount of time later, he heard Axel being sick, then something large hitting the floor; as much as he wanted to investigate, and make sure Axel was all right, he didn't dare. He didn't want another punch in the gut, or in the face, or in the balls, or anywhere else.

_Axel...why?_ he wondered miserably._ Why do you do this to me?_

Eventually, he worked up the courage to tiptoe into the bathroom and listen at Axel's door. He couldn't hear a thing in there; even so, it took another ten minutes before he worked up the nerve to open the door a crack and peek in. Axel was sprawled on the floor, out cold and covered in vomit - he must have puked all over himself before passing out. Demyx knew he should leave him exactly where he was - Axel deserved no more consideration than that, after what he'd just done.

His hands shaking so much he could barely manipulate the zipper, Demyx carefully extracted Axel from his soiled robe, dragged him onto his bed, and pulled the blankets over him. The entire time, Axel didn't so much as twitch. Once Axel was as secure as he could get him, Demyx tiptoed back into his room, closing both bathroom doors and locking his own, then climbed back into bed, still shaking with fear. He didn't sleep all night.

* * *

AN: I had a bad day.


	118. In which Axel drinks AND thinks

"You haven't even fucking budged your lazy ass any further than the damn bathroom all day!"

"Who appointed you the official Organization slavedriver? Just because you outrank me doesn't mean you can yank my chain all the fucking time!"

"Are you just gonna sit on your ass in here until you rot?"

"Piss off already, you fucktard!" Demyx all but screamed. Axel ground his teeth and did as asked, wondering what the hell Demyx's issue was. It wasn't just that he didn't want to join the others on Christmas - that was pretty much a given. His uncharacteristic bad temper wasn't limited to today. He'd been acting increasingly cold and withdrawn for the past three weeks - it seemed like he'd gone back to the way he'd been when he joined, except without the appealing helplessness and need for guidance. As he was, he was just a pissy bastard, especially towards Axel. He couldn't even remember how this particular shouting match had started, other than that he'd been worried about Demyx's self-imposed isolation and wanted to ask him if he was all right. Demyx had probably snapped something unfriendly at him when he opened the door.

Axel sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead as he reentered the rec room. What the hell had crawled up Demyx's ass and died? Why was he being such a prick all of a sudden? "What's eatin' ya, dude?"

Axel sat down heavily and glumly accepted the glass of spiced wine Xigbar offered him. "Demyx."

Xigbar sniggered. "Demyx is eating you?"

"Something is eating Demyx. Or something crawled up his ass and died, is more accurate. He hasn't so much as opened his door all day, let alone left his room, but when I went in to check on him and make sure he was okay, he fucking bit my head off." Axel drained the glass in two gulps, and Xaldin refilled it for him - he was probably going to be completely loaded by the end of the day, but he didn't care. He'd rather be drunk than have to think about that prick. "Merry Christmas, my ass. What a pissy little shithead."

Xigbar shrugged. "Does he ever do shit for Christmas anyway?"

Axel sighed and took another long drink of wine. "No, including be a pissy shithead. Normally he's at least fuckin' _civil_. Besides, this isn't a completely new development. He's been acting like a total ass for three weeks."

"Have you asked him about it? Maybe something's bothering him..."

Axel gave Luxord a withering glare. "Do you really think I didn't try that? Like, two dozen times? He bit my head off every time I tried." He drained his glass again. "I'm about ready to give up on that asshole."

"Seriously? I mean, you guys have always been like this..."

Axel snorted and refilled his own glass. "Not anymore, I guess. I dunno what the fuck his issue is, but as far as I can tell, he just doesn't wanna be friends with anyone anymore."

Contrary to his own expectation, Axel did not leave the party totally loaded; he didn't keep up his rate of one glass every five minutes, and after a few hours that were pretty blurry, sobered back up to merely tipsy and stayed there. He was the first to leave, mostly because he was still fretting and fuming over Demyx's sudden attitude change. On the way back to his room, he considered stopping in and checking on Demyx again, but decided against it - he didn't want to get his head bitten off any more often than he had to. But with his hand on his own doorknob, he had to stop, and wait, and listen.

Was Demyx _crying?_


	119. In which Demyx makes a very bad decision

Demyx sobbed quietly into his pillow, feeling sick. He couldn't bear the thought of telling Axel - or telling anyone - what the matter was. He just knew that if he told anyone, Axel would get in terrible trouble, and he didn't want that to happen, no matter what Axel had done. And he especially couldn't tell Axel, because then he'd feel horribly guilty. Besides, it wasn't like it would change anything. Not unless Axel actually stopped drinking, which didn't seem likely.

"Demyx? You okay?"

"Piss off!" Demyx snapped automatically. More than anything, he didn't want Axel to see him cry. Besides, he'd been at the Christmas party for hours. He was probably tanked.

The door creaked open anyway. "Demyx?"

"I said piss off!" he repeated.

Axel did not piss off. "Are you okay?" he asked again. Demyx stiffened up and tried to act as unresponsive as possible, especially since Axel definitely smelled like wine, but Axel sat down next to him and stroked his hair. "Why were you crying?"

"I wasn't," Demyx muttered, sounding unconvincing even to himself.

"Demyx..." Axel continued to stroke his hair until Demyx buried his head under a pillow. "Demyx, please...why are you acting like such an asshole? You're not an asshole. You shouldn't be like this."

Even for Axel, that was spectacularly tactless. Even so, Demyx didn't feel like pointing it out; Axel might slug him again. He had been drinking, after all. "Axel, please...go away..."

"Demyx..." Axel sounded positively mournful. "Is it something I did?"

Demyx curled up into a ball. "Axel, please. Just...just leave."

Axel sighed, pulled him out from under the pillow, and hugged him. "Whatever it was, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me anymore."

Demyx wasn't sure where this conversation was going to go, and whether he wanted it to go there. "Ax, go away..."

Axel frowned at him, looking like he might cry. "Demyx...I'm sorry. What did I do?" Demyx refused to answer. "I'm sorry...I don't remember...was I drunk?" Demyx was forced to nod tersely. "...Did I hit you?" Demyx had to nod again. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll never do it again. I promise."

"Axel..." Demyx was about to cry all over again. "Please. Just...just go."

"Demyx, I'm sorry! Don't you believe me?"

Demyx suddenly whipped around and glared at Axel, ignoring the tears running down his face. "No! I don't! You were drunk then - hell, you're drunk now! Why the hell should I believe you?!"

Axel gave him a despondent look. "Please, Demyx. I don't want to hurt you. You're my little brother."

Demyx continued to glare at him bitterly. "That reminds me, I always wanted to ask - did you used to hit your little brother when you were drunk?"

Axel's jaw dropped. "...Demyx..." Demyx tore away from him and buried his head under a pillow again. "Demyx...how? How could you?"

"Piss off!"

"I'd never - never..." Axel's voice kept catching, as if he was crying. "Demyx, how could you?"

"Because you always hit me when you're drunk!"

"No I don't..."

Demyx really, really wished Axel would just go away and leave him alone. But something about his tone was so pathetic, so pleading...Demyx reluctantly removed the pillow and sat up. "Well...at all is too damn often."

Axel nodded miserably. "I know. And I'm sorry. Believe me, I'm sorry."

Demyx sighed heavily. He didn't want to believe Axel - except that he did. He wanted to believe that Axel was truly sorry and would never hit him again. He didn't really believe him - he knew that unless and until Axel gave up drinking entirely, it would inevitably happen again someday - but he wanted so badly to trust Axel...

_Remember, once upon a time, you never trusted anyone? Remember why? Because they always hurt you..._

Demyx swallowed hard. No matter how he wanted to trust Axel, he didn't dare. He couldn't. He'd get hurt again. But it had been so wonderful, to have a friend...couldn't he pretend? Couldn't he just act like he trusted Axel, like he used to, and still be on his guard the whole time?

He nodded very slowly. "I...do believe you," he lied.

Axel hugged him tightly. "Thank you," he whispered. Demyx hugged him back, wondering why his chest felt so empty.

* * *

AN: *hits Demyx with a rolled-up newspaper*


	120. In which Axel gets told off

"Come on, Demyx, I said I was sorry..."

"I know you did," Demyx grumbled, shifting the ice pack so that an unmelted part was now contacting his pounding head. "I got news for you. Sorry isn't doing shit for my hangover. And don't fuckin' start on how I shouldn't have drunk so much. I wouldn't have had _shit_ to drink if not for your fucking bet," he spat.

Axel couldn't remember Demyx ever looking so furious. "I'm sorry," he repeated helplessly.

"Five hundred munny worth of sorry?" Demyx gulped suddenly, then leaned over and vomited into his trash can. "Speaking of which, where is it?"

Axel shrugged, still feeling helpless. "Luxord hasn't paid me yet. As far as I know, he's still in the hospital wing." Demyx stared blankly at him. "You probably don't remember, but right after you puked all over me, you went and pounded the shit out of him. Xaldin had to help him up off the floor once we pried you away from him."

Axel expected Demyx to be shocked and horrified at this revelation - Demyx was about as non-violent as they came, at least when he was sober. He hated the mere thought of violence. But Demyx just narrowed his eyes for a moment, then smirked. "Wish I did remember it," he croaked. "As far as I'm concerned, he deserved it."

Axel just stared blankly at him. "...Demyx?"

"Yes, Axel, that would be my name."

"You don't...object...to having beaten the shit out of Luxord? You're fine with that?"

"You don't object to deliberately tricking the youngest member of the Organization into getting shitfaced for your own shits and giggles?" Demyx replied in a mocking tone. "You're fine with that?"

Axel swallowed hard. "Well...that's different. You knew what was going on."

"If I hadn't overheard you two, no, I would not have. You did not let me in on it deliberately; neither did Luxord. The two of you were just trying to get me drunk as a big fucking joke."

"Demyx..."

"Or does it not qualify as 'just a joke' if there was a bet involved? You'd have kept handing me drinks all night, and I would have figured you were just being nice, when your sole motive was a thousand munny."

"I'd have given you half of it anyway..."

"Yes, Axel," Demyx spat. "I'm sure you would have. Which would still leave your primary motivation as getting five hundred munny for yourself - that, or just bilking the grand out of Luxord. One or the other."

Axel felt completely helpless and bewildered - it had seemed so harmless at the time, and besides, it wasn't like it was the first time Demyx had ever been reeling drunk...sure, he'd been more than a little miffed at the party when he'd confronted Axel about the bet, but he'd left 'miffed' miles behind and was approaching 'I'd kill you if I wasn't so hungover'... "But...you knew about the bet, and you kept drinking...if you really didn't want to go along with it, you could have just stopped..."

Demyx glared at him. "It made more sense to have a bet on about getting yourself drunk than about getting someone else drunk. Besides, thanks to someone who kept handing me drink after drink with a hidden ulterior motive, I was already pretty tipsy. By the way, why aren't you knocked flat with a hangover? Is trying to get me drunk the one and only thing that can keep you from getting drunk?"

Axel just shook his head, dazed and confused. "...I didn't think you'd take it so badly," he said finally.

"Of course you didn't, Axel. You don't fucking think. By the way, happy motherfucking New Year, shithead." With that, Demyx rolled over and buried his head under the covers, leaving Axel standing next to his bed feeling like he'd been hit with a baseball bat.

* * *

AN: Soooorryyyyy. I've been low on inspiration. I tried to write the actual party scene, but it kept on not working.

Alas, the two are growing even further apart...


	121. In which Demyx makes nice

Demyx couldn't remember feeling so unhappy since joining the Organization. It wasn't just particular bad event weighing on his mind - he was just so damn lonely. Even when he'd just joined, when he was afraid of everyone - especially of Axel - he hadn't felt so lonely.

Of course, back then, he'd been more used to it.

Well, he could get used to it all over again. Axel was a hard drinker and a violent drunk; he didn't need to be friends with someone like that. Besides, there was that whole debacle at the New Year's Eve party. That was only a week ago...

A week ago?

_Shit. It's Axel's birthday._ Needless to say, the date having escaped him completely, he didn't have so much as a card for Axel, let alone an actual present. Cursing under his breath, he immediately set his book down and sprang to his feet, intending to run to Twilight Town and pick up some sort of gift, then stopped. Why should he get Axel anything? He didn't even like Axel...after that last booze-fueled pounding, and the stupid bet at the party...

Well, no. That wasn't exactly the case. It wasn't really that he didn't like Axel. He just didn't want to like Axel. His own preferences aside, he was getting really sick of staying holed up in his room all the time, as if he was in quarantine or something. He wanted to go to Twilight Town and goof off with Axel, or watch a movie, or play Guitar Hero, or...or something. He hated being by himself all the time. He was bored. He was lonely. He was sick to death of being bored and lonely. He needed a friend, badly. Unfortunately, with that realization came the realization that he'd been treating Axel very badly during the past few weeks. If he wanted to be friends with Axel again, he'd have to do something to make up.

_Well...today's as good a day to do so as any other...but what can I get him on such short notice?_

He really couldn't come up with anything, at least nothing that he thought Axel would like. Forcing himself to focus, he tried to think of all the presents he'd gotten Axel in the past - a special composition one year, a T-shirt the next...but Demyx had had three birthdays in the Organization; this would almost have to be Axel's fourth; what about the other birthday? Oh, yeah, it must have happened between when Axel joined and when he did...

_Off that train of thought. What can I get him this time? Huh..._

After several minutes of thought, Demyx went and knocked on Axel's door. "You need something?" Axel asked as he opened the door, looking at him a bit warily.

It took Demyx a moment to find his voice. "...Yeah. It's your birthday, and...well...I didn't get you anything, but...I'd be happy to make you anything you wanted for dinner to make up for it...I've been a real ass to you lately, and...I figured this was as good a time as any to make amends." He smiled weakly. "I'm sorry."

Axel blinked at him for a moment, then suddenly gave him a tight hug. "Well, I guess you've had reason to be an ass to me...I haven't exactly been the perfect friend lately myself...but thank you. Thank you very much. And...I'll take butter chicken."

Demyx chuckled. "Whatever your absent heart desires...22, right? You must be almost as old as Xigbar now..."

"Hey!"

Demyx laughed out loud at that. "Hey, don't bite my head off; I bet Xigbar would be flattered. How hot do you want that chicken, bearing in mind there is an upper limit?"

Axel grinned. "You should know me well enough by now to answer that question on your own."

"Meaning the upper limit?"

"Damn straight."

Demyx was starting to grin himself. "Awesome..." A sudden impulse, and the desire to not be alone again, made him keep talking. "You know, Ax...I've been getting kind of out of shape...not doing much but reading and playing sitar..."

Axel poked him in the stomach. "Now that you mention it, you do seem to be growing a bit of a belly there..." he chuckled.

Demyx squawked and jerked back. "Hey! No poking! Now, if you're actually gonna listen to me for a bit, I was thinking that if we were both free tomorrow, we could get in a little fighting practice...I'd rather get in some casual practice with you than Lexaeus's intensive training regimen...I'm just looking to tone up a bit and lose a few pounds, not turn myself into a block of muscle. Besides, while I guess Lexaeus is a hell of a lot better than some - he doesn't scream at you or beat the snot out of you if you screw up, for one - I think you'd be more fun to practice with."

Axel nodded. "Be happy to. The regular arena, or the shielded one?"

"The shielded one, I guess. In the regular one, I'd kick your ass six ways from Wednesday, and nothing productive would really be accomplished."

Axel snorted. "Good point. Remember what happened the last time we sparred? You didn't even give me a chance to grab my weapons."

Demyx grinned. "Exactly. That's why I said the shielded arena."

Axel laughed. "Kind of you to give me a chance. Now, about that butter chicken..."

* * *

AN: For the next day, read "It Only Hurts Just Once". Seriously. If you haven't before, you have to now.


	122. In which Axel meets Roxas

Axel was still busy kicking his own butt two weeks later. Granted, it was a total freak accident. He hadn't meant to hit Demyx at all. He'd just meant to bounce the chakram off the wall and buzz him in both directions, not bounce it off the wall and have it nail him in the shoulder. He still couldn't figure out how he'd messed that up, but he'd probably be obessing about it until Demyx got his arm out of the sling. The whole match had been an effort to try to make up with each other, after a cold spell, and boy had he ever botched it. He could have decked Xemnas for sending him to go get the new member, especially alone - he didn't want to have to worry about anyone else right then; he'd rather stay at the castle and worry about Demyx. Besides, going to find a new member by himself involved more thinking than he liked to do on missions. And of course, the elder members had seemed particularly excited about this newcomer, so if Axel messed up one thing, including overpaying for ice cream, he'd be hearing about it for weeks.

_It's like they specifically waited for the one time when I really did not want a complicated mission to give me the most complicated mission out there to handle solo..._

At least Twilight Town was a friendly world, he thought with a failed attempt at humor - he couldn't even get himself to crack a smile. Obviously, there was more shit going on here than he'd realized, if conditions here could be bad enough to produce a Greater Nobody. He'd known that Twilight Town had a bad side, but he hadn't figured on it being that bad...

He could think about those things later. Right now, he had a job to do. He was wandering the aforementioned bad side of Twilight Town, the side the tourists and rich businessmen pretended didn't exist and where their waiters and cashiers actually lived. There was always a certain stigma to being a poor local in a tourist town, wasn't there? But not enough to start spawning Heartless; poor locals tended to band together and support each other...and it wasn't even like the bad side of town was so bad...sure, it was poor and rather unkempt, but it was clean, and there was a sort of local pride going on here...compared to the desperate poverty that had cost Demyx his heart, this place was practically charming, though it sure wasn't the side that got photographed for brochures...and he was wandering off on an irrelevant train of thought again. He had to focus.

It would be nice if he even knew what the new member was supposed to look like...

...Wait. What was that? He didn't think he'd heard or seen anything, but he could kind of sense something...some odd vibes coming from somewhere roughly nearby...it didn't feel like fire, if you could call that feeling. It was some kind of sixth sense, and something was setting it off...something...something down that dark alley on the other side of the street. Didn't it just figure. Pulling a flashlight out of his pocket, because things might go to hell in a handbasket really quick if someone saw him conjuring fire to see by, he went and shined the flashlight into the alley...and found a teenage boy with bright blue eyes and messy blond hair standing there, wearing tan pants, a black-and-white shirt, and a dazed, frightened expression. The boy looked up at Axel warily, as if afraid he was about to be mugged, but Axel didn't care - he just stood there, almost paralyzed, looking like he'd seen a ghost. He rather suspected he had.

_...God...if only Ricky had lived that long...he might have looked just like that..._

He shook his head faintly. The boy in front of him obviously wasn't a ghost, and he was quite sure he didn't have any long-lost cousins in the area who might miraculously bear a close family resemblance to his long-lost brother. But...come to think of it...Ricky would be about fifteen now, if only he'd lived that long... "Who are you?" he suddenly heard himself ask.

The boy just shook his head, looking even more frightened. "I...I don't know," he said, obviously trying not to sound nervous. "I don't remember who I am or where I'm from or how I got here...I don't remember anything..." He shook his head again, biting his lip. "All I remember is that my first name has an R and S in it...and that's not much to go on..."

"R and S? That's it?" So the new kid - presuming this was him, and Axel suddenly realized he really wanted him to be - was suffering from total amnesia? That was bound to make life interesting...but as he thought about it, he decided it might be a blessing in disguise. He and Demyx still had nightmares about their pasts, Larxene still went off at the strangest things, and Luxord was a hell of a lot warier around loud noises than you'd expect if you didn't know his Other was killed by a bomb... This kid, whoever he turned out to be, couldn't have had a much happier past than any of the rest of them, because otherwise he wouldn't have lost his heart - but he didn't remember it. Because he'd lost his memory along with his heart, he wouldn't have to live with the trauma. That all by itself would set him apart, no matter what the elders were so happy to see him for. Axel could feel himself smiling without even intending to as he offered the boy a hand. "Well, in that case...I think I'll call you Roxas. R-O-X-A-S. Got it memorized?" He didn't know where that name had come from, but as soon as he said it, it sounded right. They'd probably never find out what his Other's name had been, but that didn't matter all that much, and the name "Roxas" just seemed to fit.

The boy took his hand and shook it warily, as if surprised that Axel wasn't going to attack him. "Roxas..." he repeated to himself softly. After a moment, he smiled a little. "I kinda like it. What's your name?"

Axel grinned broadly, hoping he still looked friendly. "My name is Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

Roxas gave him a very strange look at that. "...Do you say that every time you spell something out?"

Axel almost laughed at that - he hadn't even realized he was saying it, it was so automatic. "Not just then, I say it all the time...you want some ice cream?" he asked, grinning even more as Roxas's face lit up. "Should have expected that's how you'd react..." He suddenly remembered that he didn't know for sure whether this was the person he was looking for. "One thing first...hold out your wrist."

Roxas obediently held out his wrist, looking confused. "What's this about?"

Axel didn't answer for a moment - he was too busy checking Roxas's pulse. He didn't have one. "Never mind," he said, grinning enough to almost crack his face open. "Let's go get some ice cream." With that, he led Roxas off towards his favorite ice cream shop, all but forgetting about Demyx and his broken shoulder.

* * *

AN: ...Dumping good old friends for good new friends is like trading gold for silver when you could have both.

Need I say more?


	123. Which is the worst day of Demyx's life

Demyx was almost afraid to go down to breakfast with the rest of the Organization now. He couldn't really put a finger on why, except...well, it seemed like Axel had been kind of distant, ever since that accident. And maybe a little more so after the new kid joined. He'd started visiting a little less often, didn't spend as much time there when he did, seemed a little less involved when he was there...well, he was probably still feeling guilty about it, and then he was probably spending some time making friends with Roxas too. But Demyx's shoulder was fine now, and he'd been cleared to go back on regular duty. Things could start going back to normal now. Axel would no longer have anything to feel guilty about, and he'd have his oldest friend back - not like he couldn't stay friends with Roxas too; it would be the height of selfishness for Demyx to expect otherwise, and besides, he wanted a chance to get to know Roxas himself. Apparently, he was somehow really special, though he didn't know for sure why, and he seemed like a nice kid in general anyway. But still, he and Axel had been friends for years, and Roxas had only been around for a month or so; it wasn't like Axel could get closer to Roxas in a month than he'd grown to Demyx over five years. He was still feeling unusually tense as he went into the kitchen, but he put it down to first-day-back jitters.

Something failed to click almost immediately. He had to blink several times to make sure of it - Roxas was sitting in his seat. Sitting in his seat and looking like that was _his_ appointed seat.

That was wrong. Axel shouldn't have allowed that. Even if he and Roxas had become friends so quickly they wanted to sit next to each other at meals, there was an empty chair on Axel's other side that wasn't Demyx's seat. Roxas could have been sitting there. Roxas should have been sitting there. But he wasn't - he was in Demyx's seat. And Axel was sitting there chatting merrily with him, as if there was nothing wrong with Roxas being in _Demyx's seat._

Feeling like he'd just been punched in the chest, Demyx mechanically went over and sat in the empty seat on Axel's other side. Axel blinked briefly at him, as if surprised to see him there. "Hey, how's your shoulder doing?" he asked, but his tone seemed all wrong. Too detached, too unconcerned.

"Fine -" And before Demyx could say anything else, Axel had turned away from him again, and was back to chatting with Roxas about video games and movies and soccer and maybe going into Twilight Town later if neither of them had a mission and not to worry if he did get one because they wouldn't send a new guy on a difficult mission without experienced help. Demyx watched the two of them carefully, and Roxas glanced over at him once, immediately after Axel addressed him. Axel never looked back.

_Blessed Gods. I've been replaced._

Demyx wanted nothing more than to disappear, to fade away as if he'd never been. Five years - five years during which he'd had to learn how to trust all over again, how to make friends for the first time in his life, how to be happy and feel accepted by at least one person and like himself just a little bit...five years that were down to nothing but memories. No poison, be it never so bitter, could match the bitterness of knowing that the five best years of his life had been based in a lie.

Had Axel ever really cared about him at all?

Lacking the nerve to try to intrude on the conversation, Demyx ate his breakfast mechanically, though his stomach was churning and aching so much he just knew it would come back up later. Every other "friend" he'd ever made in his life had turned on him sooner or later, but they'd usually only waited a few weeks to gain his trust before stabbing him in the back. Axel had waited five years. Five years, he'd taught Demyx to trust and to make friends and to enjoy life - and he was just like the rest in the end.

Five years.

_Never again,_ Demyx silently promised himself. _Until Axel changes his mind and decides I'm worth being friends with again, in a way I know I can trust, I will never make another friend. I will never let anyone get close to me. If I feel like I'm getting too close to someone, I'll turn my back on them before they can turn on me. Axel was the first person in years to trick me into trusting him. I've never trusted anyone so much, and since I know now I can't trust him, I know now I can never trust anyone._

A safe enough vow. After this, he was quite sure that no matter what Axel tried to do to regain his confidence, it wasn't going to work now that he'd been burned once. And since Axel could never regain his trust, he'd never allow himself to be tricked into trusting anyone else. He knew now that he'd never make a true friend whatever he did, and from now on, he would be safe from the dangers of false friends.

_You're going to be alone forever,_ a small voice in the back of his head warned. Demyx paid it no heed - he knew that. He'd be alone forever whatever he did. He was a street rat, a freak, an outcast - no one could ever truly care for someone like him. It was high time he stopped fooling himself already anyway.

This was for his own good. It had no reason to hurt so much.

He blinked, and realized Roxas was looking over at him again. Surprised, he managed a smile that hopefully didn't look as fake as it felt - Roxas hadn't done anything to him yet; the least he could do was be friendly.

He knew they would never be friends.

* * *

AN: Silly, silly Demyx. Axel is just going through an unusually dumb period. You'll see.


	124. Which is the end

_What in Kingdom Hearts's name is wrong with Demyx?_

Demyx had been back on duty for just shy of one week, and in less than that time, at least as far as Axel could tell, his personality had done a complete 180. He had been one of the nicest, friendliest guys Axel had ever been privileged to know, but now...well, he still acted that way in public. Emphasis on acted; Axel wasn't sure how well Demyx was fooling the other members, but he could tell Demyx's "friendliness" of late, especially towards him, was as authentic as the cheerfulness of a prerecorded greeting. It was like he was just going through the motions, like a robot programmed for friendly social interaction. That would have opened up a world of unpleasant thoughts involving Vexen and cyborgs if it wasn't for his behavior in private, at least to Axel. But that, if anything, was even more worrying.

_What did I do to make him hate me so much?_

It would have been nice if Demyx was given to anger. If he'd been the sort to yell and scream and threaten people he hated, he might accidentally let out why, and what had happened so recently that Axel hadn't even noticed but Demyx was taking so badly. But no - as long as there was no one else around, Demyx acted like he wasn't even there. He looked straight through him when he caught an accidental sight of him, pretended not to hear anything he said, brushed him off at every opportunity, and had more than once simply walked out of the room while Axel was trying to talk to him. It didn't make sense. It wasn't right. It wasn't like the Demyx he knew at all. And it was driving Axel insane.

He'd tried to distract himself by spending most of his free time with Roxas - he couldn't get over how much he looked like Ricky. And Roxas was certainly willing to be friends. He was interested in video games, willing to let Axel drag him all over Twilight Town and enjoy it as much as he did, didn't try to push him away (though he did get a little short when Axel started to get _too_ clingy), and if it wasn't Axel's imagination, he was already starting to look up to him. He couldn't help but compare him to how Demyx had been when he first arrived, and Demyx couldn't help but come out on the short end of that - he'd been cold, unfriendly, untrusting, and as far as he could tell at the time, straight-up scared of him. Demyx wasn't like that anymore, though...

Except, all of a sudden, he was.

Five years. Five years, he'd been Demyx's closest friend and confidant. He'd taken care of him when he was sick or injured, helped him out when Zexion insisted he needed tutoring, comforted him when he was scared or upset...he'd practically had to teach Demyx how to trust people and make friends. And...he thought he'd done so well, he thought Demyx had put the scared, scarred kid he'd been behind him, but all of a sudden...it was like Demyx had forgotten everything. It was like the last five years never happened. Thank God for Roxas; he seemed to be the only close friend Axel had left, and the way Demyx was treating him all of a sudden, he needed a close friend.

_Forget this. I've gotta talk to him._

Well, dinner was in just a few minutes. Axel positioned himself right next to Demyx's door, so he'd be out of sight of the peephole and in position to catch him as soon as he emerged. Demyx came out a few moments later, caught sight of him, turned on his heel, and stalked away in the other direction, even though it was away from the kitchen. Axel was too fast for him, however, and grabbed him by the shoulder before he could get away. "Demyx, I need to talk to you now," he said in a tone that hopefully brooked no argument, forcing the other to turn around and face him. Demyx's face went as blank as a mannequin's, which lack of expression Axel had to assume was deliberate. But he had to try to get through to him somehow, even if he felt like he was talking to a statue. He just didn't know what to say. "You've been acting really weird for this past week," he started, sensing it was a rather lame opening even as he spoke. "I don't know why, but I have to assume there's something really, deeply bothering you. And for God's sake, I wish you'd tell me what." Demyx continued to stare at him with no expression whatsoever, just a certain buried coldness in his eyes. "Come on, Demyx. Normally if there was something bothering you, I'd be the first person you'd come to. Why not now? Are you mad at me for some reason? If so, why?" No response. "Please, Demyx. Just talk to me. What did I do? This isn't like you - there has to be something!" Still nothing. Axel was starting to get desperate. "Come on, Demyx! Please! What is going on? Don't you trust me anymore?"

"No." While Axel froze in place, trying to comprehend the reality of that word, Demyx wrenched his shoulder out of his grip and stalked off. Axel could no longer stop him.

_He doesn't...trust me?_

Axel felt like he'd been punched in the chest. In Kingdom Hearts's name, why? Or why not? What had he done that was so horrible as to make Demyx stop trusting him completely? And no more than a week ago? He couldn't think. The horror of this revelation was clouding his thoughts. What had happened a week ago? That was when Demyx finally got his arm out of the sling and went back on duty...and ever since that day, Demyx had...had hated him. Or at least that was what it felt like. But Axel could swear that the day before, he'd been fine. He'd visited him in his room a couple times that day, and Demyx had seemed as genuinely friendly as ever - granted, his visits had been kind of short, because he'd been stopping by in between doing stuff with Roxas, but that by itself wouldn't make Demyx turn on him like that...but between that day and the next, _something_ had happened. The next time he'd seen Demyx was at breakfast the next morning...had it been something at breakfast? What? He hadn't even said that much to him, just asked him how his shoulder was...had Demyx been upset by his brevity? So upset that he'd stop trusting him altogether? Axel couldn't conceive of that...he'd done a hell of a lot worse to him over the years, he had to admit, and Demyx had always been able to forgive him...what could possibly be different now?

Roxas. That was the only thing he could think of. But that wouldn't have been Demyx's first time meeting him - Axel had introduced them while Demyx was still on the DL. But Axel couldn't think of anything else...all right, Roxas had been sitting in Demyx's old seat, but that was easily explained. Roxas had kind of gravitated to that seat to begin with, and since Demyx had been injured and not showing for meals, Axel hadn't seen fit to put up a fuss about it, and by the time Demyx came back, the seat just seemed like Roxas's. But was letting someone else sit in his seat such a horrible insult not even Demyx could forgive it? That was ridiculous...there had to be something more. Some reason Demyx wasn't willing to even explain to Axel, let alone give Axel a chance to explain himself.

It wasn't Roxas himself, was it? No, that was just as ridiculous. Demyx wasn't so selfish he couldn't forgive Axel making another close friend.

Wasn't he?

Axel shook his head, trying to deny the conclusion he'd just come up with. Demyx was not a selfish person, period. He could not be so selfish as to not let Axel have other close friends besides him. But...maybe the scars of his friendless, loveless past weren't that deeply buried after all. Maybe he was so insecure he couldn't stand for Axel to have another friend anywhere near so close. So insecure he thought making friends with anyone else was a direct attack on him. Maybe he thought Axel was betraying him in an unforgivable way by making friends with Roxas.

So why did Axel feel so betrayed?

_You think you know a guy...after five years..._

Finally, he recalled himself enough to actually go down to the kitchen. Roxas was already there, waiting for him, but Demyx was conspicuously absent. "Are you all right?" Roxas asked as he sat down, looking at him with concern, and Axel didn't know what to say.

"Yeah," was what finally came out. "Nothing for you to worry about." The words rang flat in his ears even as he said them, but he didn't know what else to say. He didn't know if Roxas was aware how close he and Demyx were - no, had once been - and now, it was probably just as well. He wouldn't have to feel so bad on Axel's behalf.

Fortunately, Roxas was still too shy to question him much. "If you insist," he said uncertainly, then blinked in surprise as Xigbar went around handing out envelopes again. "I thought we only got those at breakfast," he said as one landed by Axel's plate.

Axel growled under his breath as he regarded the envelope, and somewhat louder when he actually read it. "Dammit, Rox...sorry," he added as his mind caught up to his mouth. "I warned you sometimes we get sent out on pretty long missions...I'm gonna be out of here for four days. With Demyx, of all people." To New Orleans, of all places. How often had he and Demyx talked idly about going there together for Mardi Gras someday...well, now they were going there together, but not for Mardi Gras, and not even as friends. He felt like Xigbar was playing a brutally cruel joke on him.

"...Is that bad?" Thank God Roxas was still mostly ignorant of the Organization's relationship dynamics. "I know he just got his arm out of a sling..."

"Well, it's not like he's a real asshole like Marluxia...he's just not good for much," Axel said, trying to conceal his pain with bitter anger but unable to bring himself to be really cruel. Demyx was - had been - his closest friend, after all.

_You think you know a guy.

* * *

_

AN:*puts a stopper in the damn thing* And the cycle is complete. Immediately after this comes "Katrina".

There, does that make Axel seem like less of an asshole?


End file.
